Giving back, does it have limits?

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2stepz_ahead
2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
after ready the:http://community.allhiphop.com/discussion/554539/snoop-and-daz-fighting-at-ricky-harris-funeral/p1

thread
I have a question.
when does giving back get to point where ? is just too much.

I offer hear people talk about how they would take care of their people, but IC you never been at the top of the food chain you don't know what you would do.

but anyway....snoop put this dude on thru his connects. snoop put in alot of people in one way of another. but if they fukk up...is he supposed to stay helping?

is loyalty equal to how much you help if you the top earner?

are you obligated to help an keep helping because you got it?
if you do it out the kindness of your heart ? won't ever say..you helped enough.

IC what's your thoughts on helping and giving back.
«13

Comments

  • Kwan Dai
    Kwan Dai Members Posts: 6,929 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    I am always going to give back without worrying about how much I have given or how much some one I have given to continues to ? up. If, the creator continues to put me in a position to help I will always feel obligated to do so.
  • AZTG
    AZTG Members Posts: 7,598 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    For family? I dont lend, I give. No limits. Whats the point of having money if I cant give to my fam?

    For the community? I know its a cliche, but I give back with my time and experience. In 2016, I took 2 people under my wing, shared my experience, told them exactly what to do, and to their credit, they did it to a T, and both landed 75k+ job. Now them and their families are set. Only thing I asked back was to make sure they are willing to help the next man. Im working on a 3rd person now. I think helping my people get high paying jobs is the best way of giving back.
  • R.D.
    R.D. Members Posts: 20,156 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Yes

    I'm willing to give but not at the cost of my happiness or sanity

    Blew my mind when I realized how self absorbed and selfish most people are(and I'm not even just talking money)

    We've been ultimately blessed with the same opportunity and I can't do your part and mines

    I give w/o expecting it to come back even if the borrow word get used however I need to know what I'm investing in by giving whatever it is to you, what type of person you are, how you live

    What's the return on this investment(when I help you, how you going to use that to help the next person)
  • yellowtapesport
    yellowtapesport Members Posts: 4,662 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Giving is like gambling...

    never give what you can't afford to lose.
  • LPast
    LPast Members Posts: 4,546 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Part of the problem in life is that people don't understand boundaries. They don't understand they as individuals and other people are responsible for in life.

    Example @AZTG , you said you have no limits on helping family. But do you realize there is a line where "helping" someone can hurt them?
  • R.D.
    R.D. Members Posts: 20,156 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    AZTG wrote: »
    LPast wrote: »
    Part of the problem in life is that people don't understand boundaries. They don't understand they as individuals and other people are responsible for in life.

    Example @AZTG , you said you have no limits on helping family. But do you realize there is a line where "helping" someone can hurt them?

    @Lpast i feel you man. But my fam my parents and siblings. My sister too young for now, but when she gets old enough where she might need money, how ima say no? Long as she aint strung out on drugs and needs a hit, i got her for life. Then we got my brother. He older than me and though hes no successful and trying to find his way, he trying. If him and his wife are having financial trouble, how ima say no? And my parents? They damn near 60. Me helping aint gonna hurt then.

    And I aint even talking a $100 or $200 here and there. I gave my brother 5k just a month ago to pay off his cards and pay me whenever. I will be totally fine if I never get that money back.

    Idk man, the whole point of having money is happiness. Im blessed in life to be in a good situation, but how can I be happy if my brother struggling?

    Respect this
  • LPast
    LPast Members Posts: 4,546 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    AZTG wrote: »
    LPast wrote: »
    Part of the problem in life is that people don't understand boundaries. They don't understand they as individuals and other people are responsible for in life.

    Example @AZTG , you said you have no limits on helping family. But do you realize there is a line where "helping" someone can hurt them?

    @Lpast i feel you man. But my fam my parents and siblings. My sister too young for now, but when she gets old enough where she might need money, how ima say no? Long as she aint strung out on drugs and needs a hit, i got her for life. Then we got my brother. He older than me and though hes no successful and trying to find his way, he trying. If him and his wife are having financial trouble, how ima say no? And my parents? They damn near 60. Me helping aint gonna hurt then.

    And I aint even talking a $100 or $200 here and there. I gave my brother 5k just a month ago to pay off his cards and pay me whenever. I will be totally fine if I never get that money back.

    Idk man, the whole point of having money is happiness. Im blessed in life to be in a good situation, but how can I be happy if my brother struggling?

    If your brother rack up another 5K in cards are you going to give him another 5?
  • AZTG
    AZTG Members Posts: 7,598 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    LPast wrote: »
    AZTG wrote: »
    LPast wrote: »
    Part of the problem in life is that people don't understand boundaries. They don't understand they as individuals and other people are responsible for in life.

    Example @AZTG , you said you have no limits on helping family. But do you realize there is a line where "helping" someone can hurt them?

    @Lpast i feel you man. But my fam my parents and siblings. My sister too young for now, but when she gets old enough where she might need money, how ima say no? Long as she aint strung out on drugs and needs a hit, i got her for life. Then we got my brother. He older than me and though hes no successful and trying to find his way, he trying. If him and his wife are having financial trouble, how ima say no? And my parents? They damn near 60. Me helping aint gonna hurt then.

    And I aint even talking a $100 or $200 here and there. I gave my brother 5k just a month ago to pay off his cards and pay me whenever. I will be totally fine if I never get that money back.

    Idk man, the whole point of having money is happiness. Im blessed in life to be in a good situation, but how can I be happy if my brother struggling?

    If your brother rack up another 5K in cards are you going to give him another 5?

    90%, yea. Its also situational though. Like, right now they make decent money but his girl in school getting her masters and couldnt get loans. So, they loaded up they cards. If they in a similar situation where they trying to come up, ? id front them another 10 no question asked.

    If my brother out there doing real dumb ? , strip clubs, drugs, etc..., Id have to find out what he needs just to survive and give him them.

    If he just makes a few dumb decisions, then yea I got him again.

    Like I said though, we have out problems and issues, but overall im blessed with a good fam. My brother is to blame for his situation, 100%, but he accepts it and trying hard to fix it and is on the right track. Long as I see him trying on some legit ? , my money is his money.
  • Kwan Dai
    Kwan Dai Members Posts: 6,929 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    LPast wrote: »
    Part of the problem in life is that people don't understand boundaries. They don't understand they as individuals and other people are responsible for in life.

    Example @AZTG , you said you have no limits on helping family. But do you realize there is a line where "helping" someone can hurt them?

    Folks not understanding boundaries shouldn't be a concern for the person giving. If, you got it. Give it.

    Can you give an example of how helping someone can hurt them?

    The only time giving becomes detrimental is when the person giving is, taking away from their own livelihood and well being.
  • zzombie
    zzombie Members Posts: 11,280 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Every time there is a hurricane in Jamaica people expect me and my family to rebuild their house or buy them furniture.
  • LPast
    LPast Members Posts: 4,546 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Kwan Dai wrote: »
    LPast wrote: »
    Part of the problem in life is that people don't understand boundaries. They don't understand they as individuals and other people are responsible for in life.

    Example @AZTG , you said you have no limits on helping family. But do you realize there is a line where "helping" someone can hurt them?

    Folks not understanding boundaries shouldn't be a concern for the person giving. If, you got it. Give it.

    Can you give an example of how helping someone can hurt them?

    The only time giving becomes detrimental is when the person giving is, taking away from their own livelihood and well being.

    Simple. If I lend my brother $5 every month of 2016, what will I do to HELP him not have to borrow $5 every month of 2017?

    A. Say yes. Continue lending him money on hopes he eventually won't need my help. This keeps him dependent.

    B. Say no. He will START to think of ways to make sure he won't need to borrow $5.

    It's like never taking of the training wheels of your kids bike. You don't want them to live to always depend on training wheels.

    Like the saying...

    give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime
  • Kwan Dai
    Kwan Dai Members Posts: 6,929 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    zzombie wrote: »
    Every time there is a hurricane in Jamaica people expect me and my family to rebuild their house or buy them furniture.

    If, your family has the means to rebuild after each and every hurricane, what's the issue with rebuilding?
  • yellowtapesport
    yellowtapesport Members Posts: 4,662 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    LPast wrote: »

    give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime

    I was gonna say this...
  • zzombie
    zzombie Members Posts: 11,280 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Kwan Dai wrote: »
    zzombie wrote: »
    Every time there is a hurricane in Jamaica people expect me and my family to rebuild their house or buy them furniture.

    If, your family has the means to rebuild after each and every hurricane, what's the issue with rebuilding?

    We've done it in the past multiple times but after a while tired of that s*** people always having their hand out looking up to you for money it's bad for them and it's bad for us
  • AggieLean.
    AggieLean. Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 2,325 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Kwan Dai wrote: »
    I am always going to give back without worrying about how much I have given or how much some one I have given to continues to ? up. If, the creator continues to put me in a position to help I will always feel obligated to do so.
    I agree with you on all of this. As long as I've got it, I'm going to continue to help those who are in need of the help. I've been blessed to be placed into a great situation. It's my duty to help.

  • Kwan Dai
    Kwan Dai Members Posts: 6,929 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    LPast wrote: »
    Kwan Dai wrote: »
    LPast wrote: »
    Part of the problem in life is that people don't understand boundaries. They don't understand they as individuals and other people are responsible for in life.

    Example @AZTG , you said you have no limits on helping family. But do you realize there is a line where "helping" someone can hurt them?

    Folks not understanding boundaries shouldn't be a concern for the person giving. If, you got it. Give it.

    Can you give an example of how helping someone can hurt them?

    The only time giving becomes detrimental is when the person giving is, taking away from their own livelihood and well being.

    Simple. If I lend my brother $5 every month of 2016, what will I do to HELP him not have to borrow $5 every month of 2017?

    A. Say yes. Continue lending him money on hopes he eventually won't need my help. This keeps him dependent.

    B. Say no. He will START to think of ways to make sure he won't need to borrow $5.

    It's like never taking of the training wheels of your kids bike. You don't want them to live to always depend on training wheels.

    Like the saying...

    give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime

    What you described hurts no one.

    If, you lend your brother $5 and it doesn't take food off of your table then you are doing the right thing if that's what the circumstance calls for.

    So, in this scenario if, you take issue with giving your brother $5 you are just as in need of help then he is.

    The way a balanced well intended brother would approach such a situation is.

    1. First he would give (not lend) to his brother from the goodness of his heart because, this is the station in life he has been rewarded by the creator.
    2. He would do it out of love and cultivation of his own spirit.
    3. He would be patient with his brother and while giving also teach him to as you say "fish"
    4. He would never tire from doing any of the above.

    There is another saying. "Want for your brother what you want for yourself".
  • Kwan Dai
    Kwan Dai Members Posts: 6,929 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    zzombie wrote: »
    Kwan Dai wrote: »
    zzombie wrote: »
    Every time there is a hurricane in Jamaica people expect me and my family to rebuild their house or buy them furniture.

    If, your family has the means to rebuild after each and every hurricane, what's the issue with rebuilding?

    We've done it in the past multiple times but after a while tired of that s*** people always having their hand out looking up to you for money it's bad for them and it's bad for us

    I'm not sure how a religious man gets tired of doing what is right. If, you or your family are suffering because, of your continuous charity I can understand dialing back or perhaps giving in other ways.
  • Kwan Dai
    Kwan Dai Members Posts: 6,929 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    AggieLean. wrote: »
    Kwan Dai wrote: »
    I am always going to give back without worrying about how much I have given or how much some one I have given to continues to ? up. If, the creator continues to put me in a position to help I will always feel obligated to do so.
    I agree with you on all of this. As long as I've got it, I'm going to continue to help those who are in need of the help. I've been blessed to be placed into a great situation. It's my duty to help.

    That's what it's all about for me. Yes, I have worked hard, made some decent decisions in life etc. From my upbringing and perspective. I was placed in a position to help. I feel like if, I stop giving I will stop receiving.
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Kwan Dai wrote: »
    AggieLean. wrote: »
    Kwan Dai wrote: »
    I am always going to give back without worrying about how much I have given or how much some one I have given to continues to ? up. If, the creator continues to put me in a position to help I will always feel obligated to do so.
    I agree with you on all of this. As long as I've got it, I'm going to continue to help those who are in need of the help. I've been blessed to be placed into a great situation. It's my duty to help.

    That's what it's all about for me. Yes, I have worked hard, made some decent decisions in life etc. From my upbringing and perspective. I was placed in a position to help. I feel like if, I stop giving I will stop receiving.

    so religion has got you afraid to day no?

    that or karma?
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    so at what point can you say no and add to your savings coffers?

    cuz people won't turn away money and tend to know you won't say no and don't have to change their way of thinking
  • yellowtapesport
    yellowtapesport Members Posts: 4,662 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Kwan Dai wrote: »
    LPast wrote: »
    Kwan Dai wrote: »
    LPast wrote: »
    Part of the problem in life is that people don't understand boundaries. They don't understand they as individuals and other people are responsible for in life.

    Example @AZTG , you said you have no limits on helping family. But do you realize there is a line where "helping" someone can hurt them?

    Folks not understanding boundaries shouldn't be a concern for the person giving. If, you got it. Give it.

    Can you give an example of how helping someone can hurt them?

    The only time giving becomes detrimental is when the person giving is, taking away from their own livelihood and well being.

    Simple. If I lend my brother $5 every month of 2016, what will I do to HELP him not have to borrow $5 every month of 2017?

    A. Say yes. Continue lending him money on hopes he eventually won't need my help. This keeps him dependent.

    B. Say no. He will START to think of ways to make sure he won't need to borrow $5.

    It's like never taking of the training wheels of your kids bike. You don't want them to live to always depend on training wheels.

    Like the saying...

    give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime

    What you described hurts no one.

    If, you lend your brother $5 and it doesn't take food off of your table then you are doing the right thing if that's what the circumstance calls for.

    So, in this scenario if, you take issue with giving your brother $5 you are just as in need of help then he is.

    The way a balanced well intended brother would approach such a situation is.

    1. First he would give (not lend) to his brother from the goodness of his heart because, this is the station in life he has been rewarded by the creator.
    2. He would do it out of love and cultivation of his own spirit.
    3. He would be patient with his brother and while giving also teach him to as you say "fish"
    4. He would never tire from doing any of the above.

    There is another saying. "Want for your brother what you want for yourself".

    I'm having a hard time believing this is how you truly live your life..

    Just like a good parent cannot always say yes to their children, sometimes a simple 'NO' is needed in our adult lives to put us in perspective that some things are not always given, and require more than the minimal effort of 'asking' to attain...
  • zzombie
    zzombie Members Posts: 11,280 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Kwan Dai wrote: »
    zzombie wrote: »
    Kwan Dai wrote: »
    zzombie wrote: »
    Every time there is a hurricane in Jamaica people expect me and my family to rebuild their house or buy them furniture.

    If, your family has the means to rebuild after each and every hurricane, what's the issue with rebuilding?

    We've done it in the past multiple times but after a while tired of that s*** people always having their hand out looking up to you for money it's bad for them and it's bad for us

    I'm not sure how a religious man gets tired of doing what is right. If, you or your family are suffering because, of your continuous charity I can understand dialing back or perhaps giving in other ways.

    Giving people unlimited money when they ask for it isn't a righteous things. Does ? give people what they want every time they ask??? No so therefore neither should I.
  • Kwan Dai
    Kwan Dai Members Posts: 6,929 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Kwan Dai wrote: »
    LPast wrote: »
    Kwan Dai wrote: »
    LPast wrote: »
    Part of the problem in life is that people don't understand boundaries. They don't understand they as individuals and other people are responsible for in life.

    Example @AZTG , you said you have no limits on helping family. But do you realize there is a line where "helping" someone can hurt them?

    Folks not understanding boundaries shouldn't be a concern for the person giving. If, you got it. Give it.

    Can you give an example of how helping someone can hurt them?

    The only time giving becomes detrimental is when the person giving is, taking away from their own livelihood and well being.

    Simple. If I lend my brother $5 every month of 2016, what will I do to HELP him not have to borrow $5 every month of 2017?

    A. Say yes. Continue lending him money on hopes he eventually won't need my help. This keeps him dependent.

    B. Say no. He will START to think of ways to make sure he won't need to borrow $5.

    It's like never taking of the training wheels of your kids bike. You don't want them to live to always depend on training wheels.

    Like the saying...

    give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime

    What you described hurts no one.

    If, you lend your brother $5 and it doesn't take food off of your table then you are doing the right thing if that's what the circumstance calls for.

    So, in this scenario if, you take issue with giving your brother $5 you are just as in need of help then he is.

    The way a balanced well intended brother would approach such a situation is.

    1. First he would give (not lend) to his brother from the goodness of his heart because, this is the station in life he has been rewarded by the creator.
    2. He would do it out of love and cultivation of his own spirit.
    3. He would be patient with his brother and while giving also teach him to as you say "fish"
    4. He would never tire from doing any of the above.

    There is another saying. "Want for your brother what you want for yourself".

    I'm having a hard time believing this is how you truly live your life..

    Just like a good parent cannot always say yes to their children, sometimes a simple 'NO' is needed in our adult lives to put us in perspective that some things are not always given, and require more than the minimal effort of 'asking' to attain...

    No need to project.

    Of course I have said no in the past and will say no in future. However my reasoning has been and ONLY will be "if I aint I got it". But even in these cases I will still do my best to assist in some way. I am a problem solver by nature. So, my drive is to always find a way.

    I am not sure what your limitations are but I find it quite easy to give and teach. I find quite stupid and unproductive when asked for assistance to start trying to teach someone a life a lesson. That's not what is being asked of me at that moment. I will do that after the situation has been dealt with.

    So, your believing what I don't do in my life, is simply you needing more work, and guidance in your own affairs.


  • LPast
    LPast Members Posts: 4,546 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Kwan Dai wrote: »
    LPast wrote: »
    Kwan Dai wrote: »
    LPast wrote: »
    Part of the problem in life is that people don't understand boundaries. They don't understand they as individuals and other people are responsible for in life.

    Example @AZTG , you said you have no limits on helping family. But do you realize there is a line where "helping" someone can hurt them?

    Folks not understanding boundaries shouldn't be a concern for the person giving. If, you got it. Give it.

    Can you give an example of how helping someone can hurt them?

    The only time giving becomes detrimental is when the person giving is, taking away from their own livelihood and well being.

    Simple. If I lend my brother $5 every month of 2016, what will I do to HELP him not have to borrow $5 every month of 2017?

    A. Say yes. Continue lending him money on hopes he eventually won't need my help. This keeps him dependent.

    B. Say no. He will START to think of ways to make sure he won't need to borrow $5.

    It's like never taking of the training wheels of your kids bike. You don't want them to live to always depend on training wheels.

    Like the saying...

    give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime

    What you described hurts no one.

    If, you lend your brother $5 and it doesn't take food off of your table then you are doing the right thing if that's what the circumstance calls for.

    So, in this scenario if, you take issue with giving your brother $5 you are just as in need of help then he is.

    The way a balanced well intended brother would approach such a situation is.

    1. First he would give (not lend) to his brother from the goodness of his heart because, this is the station in life he has been rewarded by the creator.
    2. He would do it out of love and cultivation of his own spirit.
    3. He would be patient with his brother and while giving also teach him to as you say "fish"
    4. He would never tire from doing any of the above.

    There is another saying. "Want for your brother what you want for yourself".

    The problem imo is that the only way you feel like you can help your brother is to give him money.

    At this point you are enabling. That's when giving hurts someone.

    Wanting for your brother would be him in a position not asking $5.