Friends to relationship to ..??
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Shuffington
Members Posts: 3,775 ✭✭✭✭✭
Hey... Have you been friends with someone (opposite sex)
....got into some sort of relationship that involved intimacy, loose monogamy i guess.. and strong feelings...
... just to break it off with the person after a good amount of time...?
How did it work out for you? Are you back to regular friends? or do you not speak to them at all.
Would you do it all over again if you knew what the results would be?
Im curious to know how things worked out for you
....got into some sort of relationship that involved intimacy, loose monogamy i guess.. and strong feelings...
... just to break it off with the person after a good amount of time...?
How did it work out for you? Are you back to regular friends? or do you not speak to them at all.
Would you do it all over again if you knew what the results would be?
Im curious to know how things worked out for you
Comments
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never works out /thread
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pico rivera wrote: »never works out /thread
cs this mulatto post -
yall might still be freinds but you will never be as cool as you were.
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why are u friends with the opposite sex? just be aquaintances with alot in common instead
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I worked out in all my friends cases, not mines. I guess you only know things workout when your dead and die married.
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makaveli03 wrote: »why are u friends with the opposite sex? just be aquaintances with alot in common instead
this ? is true...i stopped having female friends after HS....its really no point unless you plannin on ? them. -
Personally.. I dont befriend a chick and keep her around just cause...Usually the chicks that I'm friends with have an interesting creative or humorous personality attached to them or I knew them back in the day an we have history
...but alot of times Your friends while your in a relationship (you keep it friendly)... then some how you both find yourself single and on some "hey, why not" sort of vibe.
So now your like.. "Hmm... should I make a move and potentially f*ck up 7 yrs of history?" or should I just look elsewhere -
''things will never be the same again''
but we don't care
cuz
wana sema akomax boro yake ni tamu -
Shuffington wrote: »Personally.. I dont befriend a chick and keep her around just cause...Usually the chicks that I'm friends with have an interesting creative or humorous personality attached to them or I knew them back in the day an we have history
...but alot of times Your friends while your in a relationship (you keep it friendly)... then some how you both find yourself single and on some "hey, why not" sort of vibe.
So now your like.. "Hmm... should I make a move and potentially f*ck up 7 yrs of history?" or should I just look elsewhere
who cares about history? why are people so worried about losing people in their lives? people come and go so what really matters is what you feel is best for your happiness...and as a man that is not ? , there is no point in chilling with a woman that wont ? you...its just wierd so go for it, and if it ruins ur friendship well move on consciously because regardless you will move on with your life whether u like it or not...? a history -
@ makaveli hit them up
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pico rivera wrote: »never works out /thread
true true........... -
makaveli03 wrote: »who cares about history? why are people so worried about losing people in their lives? people come and go so what really matters is what you feel is best for your happiness...and as a man that is not ? , there is no point in chilling with a woman that wont ? you...its just wierd so go for it, and if it ruins ur friendship well move on consciously because regardless you will move on with your life whether u like it or not...? a history
@ the bolded... thats false.. but thats a whole nother thread
"? a history" is easier said than done. Like I said in my last post .. knowing someone for a long time is part of the equation ... but having memories built, of your similar creative pursuits or similar humorous moments is important... N*ggas arent machines here.
I hear what your saying though... I was just wondering how it worked out for those who took the plunge more so than anything. -
Burning bridges is one of life's most sublime pleasures. Learn to appreciate
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It worked out for the best because I learned that black men can love. I learned that if they love you, they will protect you at the expense of sex. Some have a hard time being in a sexual relationship with women they love and respect because it gets too intense for them. they have a difficult managing their emotions so they compartmentalize.Shuffington wrote: »Hey... Have you been friends with someone (opposite sex)
yes
....got into some sort of relationship that involved intimacy, loose monogamy i guess.. and strong feelings...
yes
... just to break it off with the person after a good amount of time...?
yes, usually the guy did
How did it work out for you? Are you back to regular friends? or do you not speak to them at all.
it taught me a lot because it was for the best. It was done to spare me and the friendship. I still speak to and see every last one of them and love them more for it.
Would you do it all over again if you knew what the results would be?
I sure would. those dudes taught me love, respect and that above all friendship is more valuable than sex, no matter how great the sex is.
Im curious to know how things worked out for you
I respect them even more. We have love. we have respect and we have friendship and that's the best parts
that's my experiences -
Shuffington wrote: »@ the bolded... thats false.. but thats a whole nother thread
"? a history" is easier said than done. Like I said in my last post .. knowing someone for a long time is part of the equation ... but having memories built, of your similar creative pursuits or similar humorous moments is important... N*ggas arent machines here.
I hear what your saying though... I was just wondering how it worked out for those who took the plunge more so than anything.
whats false about it? I mean at the end of the day do what u want but in my opinion no grown man should be hanging around a grown woman that wont be in relationship with him that ? is a blatant way for a woman to use u for attention why waste time with a woman who wont give you what another woman somewhere out there will? Time is not just money, but respect and happiness u sitting here making threads about a long time friend when you could be busy happy with someone who is as good as your friend and ? you lol see the light my brother! -
makaveli03 wrote: »whats false about it? I mean at the end of the day do what u want but in my opinion no grown man should be hanging around a grown woman that wont be in relationship with him that ? is a blatant way for a woman to use u for attention why waste time with a woman who wont give you what another woman somewhere out there will? Time is not just money, but respect and happiness u sitting here making threads about a long time friend when you could be busy happy with someone who is as good as your friend and ? you lol see the light my brother!
I take it you never had the pleasure? this thread is for those who have had the pleasure I imagine. -
Once you cross a certain point it's hard to go back
However if you have a real solid friendship that includes open communication, you can survive damn near anything -
? only works out if the breakup ain't due to something scandalous. I was friends with this chick. Got in a relationship for a bout a year. Broke up on some mutual 'just ain't working type ? ', cooled out for a while to let them feelings die down (prolly helped that I moved across the country) and then got back on the friendship ? . Now we talk whenever we get a chance. Compare notes on significant others, etc. I prolly woulda hit up her wedding recently if I was available.
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Coby Vibes wrote: »I take it you never had the pleasure? this thread is for those who have had the pleasure I imagine.
I have aquaintances that I know we could be closer, but I never spend time with women if we arent romantically involved in some way because that ? is wierd...like if i need to do that I'd just hang with my female relatives...I got enough of those why do I need another? that AINT related lol? thats just how I see it others probably dont but o well -
However if you have a real solid friendship that includes open communication, you can survive damn near anything
you aint never lied -
makaveli03 wrote: »whats false about it? I mean at the end of the day do what u want but in my opinion no grown man should be hanging around a grown woman that wont be in relationship with him that ? is a blatant way for a woman to use u for attention why waste time with a woman who wont give you what another woman somewhere out there will? Time is not just money, but respect and happiness u sitting here making threads about a long time friend when you could be busy happy with someone who is as good as your friend and ? you lol see the light my brother!
listen..Your thinking about this in very specific terms..... every relationship doesnt start off with a guy in hot pursuit to bag a chick.
Sometimes you just end up meeting someone not even thinking about having a intimate relationship with them.(i.e ..school or work being a good example). You might more-so hang out with them and a group of friends most of the time... or you might be tied down in a relationship of your own so the thought of being with this person never crossed your mind. You might not be initially attracted to them because you have a host of other things on your plate also.
so... you dont feel the need to stir the ? cause everything is good on your end....
....until a light goes off and you wonder ... -
makaveli03 wrote: »I have aquaintances that I know we could be closer, but I never spend time with women if we arent romantically involved in some way because that ? is wierd...like if i need to do that I'd just hang with my female relatives...I got enough of those why do I need another? that AINT related lol? thats just how I see it others probably dont but o well
it's only weird if you dont have any self control and the maturity to handle it, -
@Coby: I'm assuming those are your responses in red. Well props to you for taking those experiences and growing from them. Some women can't.
I'm in a 'relationship' with a friend that I can see being a wife but I'm not ready and she really isn't either. We communicate often about the situation and do the what ifs. If things don't work out the way we would like I'm sure there well be some hurt feelings but we constantly state that above else we are friends first. So it's about being on the same page and not playing games. -
Coby Vibes wrote: »it's only weird if you dont have any self control and the maturity to handle it,
lol what does maturity have to do with a grown man not wasting his quality time with a woman that just needs attention and is using him for it? it may not be the actual words, but lets be real this isnt grade school..this is grown adults with ? to do -
Mr. Terrific wrote: »I'm in a 'relationship' with a friend that I can see being a wife but I'm not ready and she really isn't either. We communicate often about the situation and do the what ifs. If things don't work out the way we would like I'm sure there well be some hurt feelings but we constantly state that above else we are friends first. So it's about being on the same page and not playing games.
hypothetically .... if things dont work out (mutual decision)... How friendly of friends will you two be? .... Will you take a break for like a yr to try and soak in some apathy? or will you just talk once of week ... or kick it once a month? How will that work in the unlikely event that you guys mutually decide that a relationship is not a good idea.?
