What are the step-parents' responsibilities to the child

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2stepz_ahead
2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited March 2011 in For The Grown & Sexy
Im asking becuz....i hear alot of step-parents take the "well thats your child approach to ? " when it gets rough.

or i hear the either let me do it or i want no part of it
or i even heard the step parent say" you have no idea how fustrating i get with this kid"

so i ask you guys....

what is the step-parents responsibiliteis in raising a child when they marry someone.
and i dont mean some ole just found out you had a kid ? ...i mean after they knew you had a kid for years and even interacted with the kid on a regular basis....

personally i think taking the its your kid approach is hurtful to the other parent and could make them resent you in the long term or why even get married if its an option to back out when you feel like it and pick an choose when you want to parent.
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  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    i am really beginning to realize thati have some fukked up freinds
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  • The Prodigalson
    The Prodigalson Members, Writer Posts: 8,715 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    They should be a good role model to that kid and nothing more. If the other parent is active in the kid(s) life. It shouldn't be his responsibility unless he choose to do for them.
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  • MsSouthern
    MsSouthern Members, Moderators Posts: 21,791 Regulator
    edited March 2011
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    It all depends on the situation

    IMO........ a step parents should not replace the bio parents roles unless it is necessary.
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  • Bussy_Getta
    Bussy_Getta Members Posts: 37,679 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    depends on what age the kid was when they got married
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  • caddo man
    caddo man Members Posts: 22,476 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    A STEPparent should be a good role-model but at the same time If the kids are living with the step parent you have to follow the rule of the bio and the step parent. The child has to understand they are still the child and they are in the step parents home!
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  • mryounggun
    mryounggun Members Posts: 13,451 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    Let's say I get with a woman who has kids and it get serious and they move in and we've been together 5 or 6 years. As I man, I need the right to discipline any children that are in my house. As a real ? , I'ma take the kids real father out for a drink and let him know up front how it's gon' be. I respect you as a man and I understand that this isn't my kid, but this is my house. Etc, Etc. If he's a real ? , he's gonna either say 'OK.' or he's gonna make 100% sure that when his kid acts up in my house he handles it like it needs to be handled.
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  • caddo man
    caddo man Members Posts: 22,476 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    pico rivera wrote: »
    depends on what age the kid was when they got married

    My pops got remarried when I was and adult with my own kids so she got the other women treatment. She is cool but you are not my stepmother! LOL!
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  • Bussy_Getta
    Bussy_Getta Members Posts: 37,679 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    caddo man wrote: »
    My pops got remarried when I was and adult with my own kids so she got the other women treatment. She is cool but you are not my stepmother! LOL!

    My step mom can cook, so I call her mom lol
    I be grubbin too!
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  • I Self Lord & Master
    I Self Lord & Master Members Posts: 2,998 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    mryounggun wrote: »
    Let's say I get with a woman who has kids and it get serious and they move in and we've been together 5 or 6 years. As I man, I need the right to discipline any children that are in my house. As a real ? , I'ma take the kids real father out for a drink and let him know up front how it's gon' be. I respect you as a man and I understand that this isn't my kid, but this is my house. Etc, Etc. If he's a real ? , he's gonna either say 'OK.' or he's gonna make 100% sure that when his kid acts up in my house he handles it like it needs to be handled.


    ud revise that before saying it in real life. Unless ur speaking to a straight up sucka, no one is gonna stand for that ?
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  • mryounggun
    mryounggun Members Posts: 13,451 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    I Self Lord & Master wrote: »
    ud revise that before saying it in real life. Unless ur speaking to a straight up sucka, no one is gonna stand for that ?

    True story. I said it like that so the IC ? would grasp it. But yeah, in real life I'd make it much easier to swallow, while still getting my point across. I got no beef with that man. No reason to start one.
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  • I Self Lord & Master
    I Self Lord & Master Members Posts: 2,998 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    mryounggun wrote: »
    True story. I said it like that so the IC ? would grasp it. But yeah, in real life I'd make it much easier to swallow, while still getting my point across. I got no beef with that man. No reason to start one.

    i got you , i got you

    Cause that quote sounded like you were addressing a grown man as a damn child...about their own damn kids...that ? would get ugly lol.

    but i got you
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  • mryounggun
    mryounggun Members Posts: 13,451 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    I Self Lord & Master wrote: »
    i got you , i got you

    Cause that quote sounded like you were addressing a grown man as a damn child...about their own damn kids...that ? would get ugly lol.

    but i got you

    Yeah man. That's where a lot of ? ? up in terms of ex's. You be so anxious to prove that you ain't no sucker that you end up doing or saying ? to create a situation where there isn't one.
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  • Trollio
    Trollio Members Posts: 25,815 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    sucka ?
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  • Self-Preservation
    Self-Preservation Members Posts: 24
    edited March 2011
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    It depends on the real parents involvement in the child's life. If they're there then all you can do is try to lead by example for the child. If they're not then you treat the child like its your own if your s/o is okay with that. & if they're not then you shouldn[t be with them anyway. & like someone said earlier, it also depends on how old the child is.
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  • wmj710
    wmj710 Members Posts: 3,798 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    I got a step daughter but I never call her that, I call her my daughter, and treat her as such. Bur thats my situation and how I handle it
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  • Hyde Parke
    Hyde Parke Members Posts: 2,573 ✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    i would give them the exact same treatment as my own.
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  • desertrain10
    desertrain10 Members Posts: 4,829 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    Hyde Parke wrote: »
    i would give them the exact same treatment as my own.

    c/s... especially if you plan on sticking around.
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  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    i look at it like if i married you with kids then i have to be the parent while the child is in my care...when the child is with there parent then i have to still treat that child as my own because i took on the role when i said i do....

    thats like saying i married you when i knew you had sickle cell but i dont have the disease....so while your in pain ..thats your disease not mine and i will be back home after the game cuz i dont want to deal with it right now....
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  • Jonas.dini
    Jonas.dini Confirm Email Posts: 2,507 ✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    Depends on how old the child is, younger the kid the more responsibilities the step parent has. If the kid is a teenager, the only responsibility is financial, and maybe occasionally supervising or driving the kid around
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  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    deadeye wrote: »
    What happened to ol' dude who's wife told him in therapy that she never respected him until they got married?

    damn i should do a recap thread about it....
    but basically he left for a while and she realized all the ? he done around the house and did everything she could to get him back....he came back and after a few months or whatever of him being nice and ? again..she went back to being a ? ....this ? even upgraded her centerstone and they haven't been married a whole yr yet....all her freinds told her to be grateful for dude...but she still thinks he should be thankful she took him back....that whole ? is crazy
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  • bmoreeast
    bmoreeast Members Posts: 3,436 ✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    I have a step child and iv always treated him like my own. Even when ppl ask how many kids i have i always count him as my son and not step son.
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  • wmj710
    wmj710 Members Posts: 3,798 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2011
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    bmoreeast wrote: »
    I have a step child and iv always treated him like my own. Even when ppl ask how many kids i have i always count him as my son and not step son.

    Yeah I do the same,
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