I Got An A On This English Paper
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Maximus Rex
Members Posts: 6,354 ✭✭✭✭✭
One of the reasons my threads tend to be long is that I like and have an apitude for writing; with the exception of math, academics come very easy to me, plus I have experiences that are uniquely "Rex", I like share with people on occassion. the following is one of those experiences. Enjoy
As much as I hate to it, there's something cathartic in the literal and and figurative sense about expelling solid waste from your body, that is until you've come to the realization you're in the women's restroom.
When I heard an obviously female voice in the bathroom, my immediate thought was, "What is she doing doin in here?" I assumed that that the lady in the restroom with me had mistakenly had wandered into the men's bathroom. The I heard another woman's voice and it was this which caused me to think, "Wait a minute!" At this poin, (with my boxers around my ankles),I leaned forward and looked down and saw heels and flats. "Oh eff", (thouht I didn't say "eff", I'm in the women's bathroom."
I have to admit that one my extraordinarily few character flaws is that I'm not a "detail orientated person." At times, I'm just simply oblivious to the goings on of the world around me. My lack of observation is so bad, that after spending several futile mintues trying to locate an item in a grocery store, I'll seek the help of a stock associate, only to have that stock associate point out an item that was right in front of me.
It was was this lack of observation that caused me to miss the female symbol on on the sign that clearly said, "women", and the lack of urinals. Everybody has memory lapses, but using the wrong bathroom take absentmindness to unacceptable and unfathomable depths.
As I sat in the mid-bowel movement, I realized that I needed a way to extricate myself from this uncomfortable situation. Option 1, would be for me to non-chalantly, yet quickly walk out of the lavatory. If ther should happen to be a female in the bathroom, have a look of befuddlement and say, "What are you doin in here?" and continue on my way; or go with Option Two, which was to wait until the bathroom was empty, then quickly walk out.
Option One posed the problem of unwanted police contact. The last thing I wanted was to compound an already embarrassing situation with an unbelievable story about in my attempt to avoid taking a massively epic dump in my pants, I absentmindedly rushed into the wrong bathroom.
That left Option Two being my only viable alternative. After being left alone with silence for several seconds, I visually confirmed that I was alone, by looking under the gap for "heels and flats." "Good", as I thought, the bathroom was empty. I cracked opened the door then peered through the ? . It would be just my luck as I was leaving somebody else was coming in. I then stepped out the stall and quickly made my way out of ladies' room. In case you're wondering, I then went into the men's room to wash my hands.
The assigment was to write a narrative essay on your most embarrassing moment. I have to go with my second most embarrassing moment, because my most embarrassing moment probably wouldn't be appropriate for class.
As much as I hate to it, there's something cathartic in the literal and and figurative sense about expelling solid waste from your body, that is until you've come to the realization you're in the women's restroom.
When I heard an obviously female voice in the bathroom, my immediate thought was, "What is she doing doin in here?" I assumed that that the lady in the restroom with me had mistakenly had wandered into the men's bathroom. The I heard another woman's voice and it was this which caused me to think, "Wait a minute!" At this poin, (with my boxers around my ankles),I leaned forward and looked down and saw heels and flats. "Oh eff", (thouht I didn't say "eff", I'm in the women's bathroom."
I have to admit that one my extraordinarily few character flaws is that I'm not a "detail orientated person." At times, I'm just simply oblivious to the goings on of the world around me. My lack of observation is so bad, that after spending several futile mintues trying to locate an item in a grocery store, I'll seek the help of a stock associate, only to have that stock associate point out an item that was right in front of me.
It was was this lack of observation that caused me to miss the female symbol on on the sign that clearly said, "women", and the lack of urinals. Everybody has memory lapses, but using the wrong bathroom take absentmindness to unacceptable and unfathomable depths.
As I sat in the mid-bowel movement, I realized that I needed a way to extricate myself from this uncomfortable situation. Option 1, would be for me to non-chalantly, yet quickly walk out of the lavatory. If ther should happen to be a female in the bathroom, have a look of befuddlement and say, "What are you doin in here?" and continue on my way; or go with Option Two, which was to wait until the bathroom was empty, then quickly walk out.
Option One posed the problem of unwanted police contact. The last thing I wanted was to compound an already embarrassing situation with an unbelievable story about in my attempt to avoid taking a massively epic dump in my pants, I absentmindedly rushed into the wrong bathroom.
That left Option Two being my only viable alternative. After being left alone with silence for several seconds, I visually confirmed that I was alone, by looking under the gap for "heels and flats." "Good", as I thought, the bathroom was empty. I cracked opened the door then peered through the ? . It would be just my luck as I was leaving somebody else was coming in. I then stepped out the stall and quickly made my way out of ladies' room. In case you're wondering, I then went into the men's room to wash my hands.
The assigment was to write a narrative essay on your most embarrassing moment. I have to go with my second most embarrassing moment, because my most embarrassing moment probably wouldn't be appropriate for class.
Comments
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lol
At least you washed your hands.
