Is it ever YOUR fault that your s/o cheats??
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BlackThor356 wrote: »Ms Southern wrote: »I don't understand why folks cheat
If you're unhappy then communicate with your partner... if that doesn't work then just leave the relationship
why stick around and sink to such a low level ???
jus leave?? c'mon...if ur over 25 u shuld know u cant always jus bounce like that, especially if they're kids involved
and u talkin bout leavin, what about this? what if ur actually still in love with the one u wit...that has to make leaving even 10 times harder
If you're "actually still in love with the one u wit", wouldn't the two of you communicating and doing whatever it takes to fix the issue be a better option than taking the easy, selfish route and stepping out. LOL @ loving someone so much that you won't leave, but you'll rip their heart and step on it. That makes sense
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I didn't mean pack your bags and leave immediatly.
But ending a relationship is better than cheating on someone cause you are not happy or satisfied sexually
even if you have been married for years and there are kids involved -
NYCeeCee wrote:If you're "actually still in love with the one u wit", wouldn't the two of you communicating and doing whatever it takes to fix the issue be a better option than taking the easy, selfish route and stepping out. LOL @ loving someone so much that you won't leave, but you'll rip their heart and step on it. That makes sense
idk why this ? is so hard for women to comprehend.....TALKING AND WORKING ON IT AINT GONE MAKE U DO ? DIFFERENT IN BED!!!!!....? talking u need to watch some porn and step your game up...work out or sumn!!!....ya'll love talking bout working it out and we just tryin to get worked out *winks*
then sometimes a ? just want some different ? all together....nothing to talk about
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Ms Southern wrote: »I didn't mean pack your bags and leave immediatly.
But ending a relationship is better than cheating on someone cause you are not happy or satisfied sexually
even if you have been married for years and there are kids involved
Shiiiiiiid I'm out the door.
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BlackThor356 wrote: »powerman 5000 wrote: »Nah never, it's the person who cheats fault they cheated; no one elses. That's some dodging responsibility ass ? right there.
im not saying the cheater aint responsible, but sometimes the other person pushes them to it, plain and simple. if i go around robbing dope boys, that dont give one of them the right to ? me, but aint none of yall gon be sorry for a ? if i get clapped up
i don't know about that. It's a certain type of person that gets pushed around. The whole "you made me do it" excuse hasn't cut it since grade school. The cheater can ALWAYS walk away and not cheat unless he/she has the mentality of a 5 year old then it's always going to be someone else fault. Which is disgusting. -
HAF BAYKED wrote: »NYCeeCee wrote:If you're "actually still in love with the one u wit", wouldn't the two of you communicating and doing whatever it takes to fix the issue be a better option than taking the easy, selfish route and stepping out. LOL @ loving someone so much that you won't leave, but you'll rip their heart and step on it. That makes sense
idk why this ? is so hard for women to comprehend.....TALKING AND WORKING ON IT AINT GONE MAKE U DO ? DIFFERENT IN BED!!!!!....? talking u need to watch some porn and step your game up...work out or sumn!!!....ya'll love talking bout working it out and we just tryin to get worked out *winks*
Why won't talking about and working on it make you do things differently? If my husband tells me that he wants me drop to my knees as soon as I hear the key turn or swallow instead of spit b/c it makes happier, why wouldn't I do it? Unless a woman has health issues, he's cheated in the past and she's using sex as a weapon or she's just plain ol' tired of his wack ass (for other reasons that has nothing to do with sex), I can't see why she wouldn't oblige.
smh @ these poor excuses.
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BlackThor356 wrote: »Ms Southern wrote: »I don't understand why folks cheat
If you're unhappy then communicate with your partner... if that doesn't work then just leave the relationship
why stick around and sink to such a low level ???
jus leave?? c'mon...if ur over 25 u shuld know u cant always jus bounce like that, especially if they're kids involved
and u talkin bout leavin, what about this? what if ur actually still in love with the one u wit...that has to make leaving even 10 times harder
If you're "actually still in love with the one u wit", wouldn't the two of you communicating and doing whatever it takes to fix the issue be a better option than taking the easy, selfish route and stepping out. LOL @ loving someone so much that you won't leave, but you'll rip their heart and step on it. That makes sense
woah, u acting like when u communicate something, the other party makes that change.
aight cee cee imma break it down, if u and me in a relationship and we got kids. imma good father, and we gotta home and all that ? . u tell me, i dont spend enuff time wit u, and im always spendin it wit my friend or wateva. but when confronted i say "aight bae imma make that change." but i dont. this has been goin on for years now
now im comes some ? from ur job. yall friendly and ? and u start to realize u have more meaningful convos with him then u do me. yall go out with other co workers and after it all yall kiss, and thats it. u didnt let him hit it. u saying i shuld leave u?? knowin damn well i aint spend no time wit u? or maybe u did let him hit it, but the same applies. u been begging for the ? , but ive been doing other ? , and not cuz i dont love u, but cuz i havent been prioritizing the right way. im now supposed to blame u entirely and break our family an bounce? -
powerman 5000 wrote: »BlackThor356 wrote: »powerman 5000 wrote: »Nah never, it's the person who cheats fault they cheated; no one elses. That's some dodging responsibility ass ? right there.
im not saying the cheater aint responsible, but sometimes the other person pushes them to it, plain and simple. if i go around robbing dope boys, that dont give one of them the right to ? me, but aint none of yall gon be sorry for a ? if i get clapped up
i don't know about that. It's a certain type of person that gets pushed around. The whole "you made me do it" excuse hasn't cut it since grade school. The cheater can ALWAYS walk away and not cheat unless he/she has the mentality of a 5 year old then it's always going to be someone else fault. Which is disgusting.
again this isnt a justification for cheating thread. this is a "im acknowledging my role in why u cheated thread." big difference -
NYCeeCee wrote:Why won't talking about and working on it make you do things differently? If my husband tells me that he wants me drop to my knees as soon as I hear the key turn or swallow instead of spit b/c it makes happier, why wouldn't I do it? Unless a woman has health issues, he's cheated in the past and she's using sex as a weapon or she's just plain ol' tired of his wack ass (for other reasons that has nothing to do with sex), I can't see why she wouldn't oblige.
smh @ these poor excuses.
i guess its like what thor said, depending on the person, she might change it up that night and maybe tomorrow...but we gone be in the same boat next week...if it was as easy as how u just made it, EVERYONE would be satisfied....but we both know thats not true
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yo this aint the magical world of "jus tell ur s/o what ur problem is and they fix it"
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BlackThor356 wrote: »yo this aint the magical world of "jus tell ur s/o what ur problem is and they fix it"
No one is talking about a magical word. We are talking about communication. Sitting down to find how to please both parties. Besides any ? that hangs out with his friends 24 / 7 while he got 2 kids and a lady at home wasn't ready to be in a committed relationship anyway. -
BlackThor356 wrote: »BlackThor356 wrote: »Ms Southern wrote: »I don't understand why folks cheat
If you're unhappy then communicate with your partner... if that doesn't work then just leave the relationship
why stick around and sink to such a low level ???
jus leave?? c'mon...if ur over 25 u shuld know u cant always jus bounce like that, especially if they're kids involved
and u talkin bout leavin, what about this? what if ur actually still in love with the one u wit...that has to make leaving even 10 times harder
If you're "actually still in love with the one u wit", wouldn't the two of you communicating and doing whatever it takes to fix the issue be a better option than taking the easy, selfish route and stepping out. LOL @ loving someone so much that you won't leave, but you'll rip their heart and step on it. That makes sense
woah, u acting like when u communicate something, the other party makes that change.
aight cee cee imma break it down, if u and me in a relationship and we got kids. imma good father, and we gotta home and all that ? . u tell me, i dont spend enuff time wit u, and im always spendin it wit my friend or wateva. but when confronted i say "aight bae imma make that change." but i dont. this has been goin on for years now
now im comes some ? from ur job. yall friendly and ? and u start to realize u have more meaningful convos with him then u do me. yall go out with other co workers and after it all yall kiss, and thats it. u didnt let him hit it. u saying i shuld leave u?? knowin damn well i aint spend no time wit u? or maybe u did let him hit it, but the same applies. u been begging for the ? , but ive been doing other ? , and not cuz i dont love u, but cuz i havent been prioritizing the right way. im now supposed to blame u entirely and break our family an bounce?
Things become important when/if YOU/WE make it important. If you spending time with me is THAT important to me and you're not holding up your end of the deal, I'll leave. If I decide to cheat, you have every right to go. Cheating is lying. If I lie about one thing, I'm gonna lie about other things as well. Trust issues and all that other ish is birthed from cheating. I will never co-sign cheating. For better or worse, sickness and health and all that jazz wasn't just lip service.
Pardon me, I'm a newly wed and I will ? him if he ever!! *black girl z-snap* LOL!!
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BlackThor356 wrote: »powerman 5000 wrote: »BlackThor356 wrote: »powerman 5000 wrote: »Nah never, it's the person who cheats fault they cheated; no one elses. That's some dodging responsibility ass ? right there.
im not saying the cheater aint responsible, but sometimes the other person pushes them to it, plain and simple. if i go around robbing dope boys, that dont give one of them the right to ? me, but aint none of yall gon be sorry for a ? if i get clapped up
i don't know about that. It's a certain type of person that gets pushed around. The whole "you made me do it" excuse hasn't cut it since grade school. The cheater can ALWAYS walk away and not cheat unless he/she has the mentality of a 5 year old then it's always going to be someone else fault. Which is disgusting.
again this isnt a justification for cheating thread. this is a "im acknowledging my role in why u cheated thread." big difference
Well, I guess, I just don't see cheating being a 2 person deal. I don't believe I can play a role in my s/o cheating. She would or wouldn't is the bottom line. If a person is going to cheat, you can't stop them. I just believe it's a selfish act. You can leave and not hurt anyone or you can stay stick 2 middle fingers at your s/o and do what you want regardless of their feelinigs. -
BlackThor356 wrote: »yo this aint the magical world of "jus tell ur s/o what ur problem is and they fix it"
Why not? My duty is to please my husband and his duty is to please me. We both know what we signed up for. He knows what I need. I know what he needs. We gotta sacrifice to make it happen. Happy home. Its not always a cake walk, but it really isn't that hard either.
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NYCeeCee wrote:
Pardon me, I'm a newly wed and I will ? him if he ever!! *black girl z-snap* LOL!!
lol....congrats....well it sounds like your husband will have no issues like this ms fix it....u dont even really have to endure this convo
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again im not sayin cheating is okay, ? im not even saying ur wrong if u bounce when u catch ur s/o cheating. all im saying is, in some cases there is a element of responsibility on the other person.
c'mon yall its hard enough to have one person satisfy u for the rest of ur life, let alone someone who aint doing a good job. -
no.....
if i'm not putting forth the proper time and effort to keep my man satisfied i can't be too surprised if he does decides to leave nor could i hate him for it....but given the same situation would i hold myself responsible for a grown man making the conscious decision to lie to me and go behide my back to sleep with another woman, uh no. not even alil..
its one thing to accept responsibility for your share of the problems within the relationship...but it a totally different thing to shoulder some of the blame for your s/o cheating. it was not you who decided to do outside of your relationship. that decision was theirs and theirs alone.
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i can agree with that. but u do shoulder some of the responsibility for creating the environment for u s/o to cheat right?
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there come many situations which come up... sex if a biggie. If ur significant other stops wanting to have sex and u have no input in that choice and u cheat there is some blame or accountability there
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BlackThor356 wrote: »i can agree with that. but u do shoulder some of the responsibility for creating the environment for u s/o to cheat right?
nope
been in a few relationships myself where i felt was being taken advantage or felt neglected, never cheated though... i just broke things off because in my eyes cheating is the ultimate betrayal... i would never want to hurt someone like that if they ever found out...
and whats the point of sticking around to cheat if the relationship is making you so unhappy or leaving you searching for something more? lol
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Nah, it may be your fault that your s/o is unhappy and leaves you.
But for a person to make that decision to step outside of the relationship while trying to hold on to another for security, that is lies and deceit. The party that is lied to is never responsible for the lie.
Once a person has cheated on you it is definately possible to forgive but you will never forget. You will also never gain that trust back. -
Why people can't cheat just to cheat? Maybe a man satisfied in his relationship but he wanna sleep with a chinese hoe
Cant a man just see something he like on the side and wanna hit but still remain with his girl
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yes it's possible
it's always funny whenever a naive person has never been in that position and says "I don't know how someone could ever cheat"
its plenty of circumstances that life can throw at you that would make anyone consider it -
blakfyahking wrote: »yes it's possible
it's always funny whenever a naive person has never been in that position and says "I don't know how someone could ever cheat"
its plenty of circumstances that life can throw at you that would make anyone consider it
i think its alotta yungins out chea!!!
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