the" Ask Darc What NOT 2 Do" Advice thread..

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DarcSkies777
DarcSkies777 Members Posts: 5,600 ✭✭✭
edited July 2010 in The Powder Room
Many people try to give advice. But not too many people have the insight and the forese-edness (yes..foresee-edness) to tell these womenz what NOT to do.

People tend to always tell me their business because they say I'm smart & insightful (which is apparent of course) and I hand out advice in the most gentle and caring way possible. Only 1.76 percent of my lady friends have gotten themselves killed listening to me too. Really, who has that record?

But nobody takes the time to help womenz narrow their options down with a list of things NOT to do...UNTIL NOW.

TELL ME A SITUATION YOU'RE IN RIGHT NOW THAT YOU NEED ADVICE ON...I PROBABLY CANT GIVE U A GOOD ANSWER, BUT I CAN TELL U WHAT NOT TO DO. Please...let me help you...

*livens this place up hopefully
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  • Iheart~Cali
    Iheart~Cali Members Posts: 5,991 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    Shut up Darc.
    I take your advice on politics. On men and women NO!
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  • Iheart~Cali
    Iheart~Cali Members Posts: 5,991 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    I mean that in the most loving way possible'; the shut up part.
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  • DarcSkies777
    DarcSkies777 Members Posts: 5,600 ✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    Iheart~Cali wrote: »
    I mean that in the most loving way possible'; the shut up part.
    Shut up Darc.
    I take your advice on politics. On men and women NO!
    OK....

    Defiantly DONT say things like this. It's disrespectful, hurtful, uncouth, hurtful, mean, disrespectful, uncouth and hurtful and all other adjectives I never learned because my school was under-funded.
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  • Iheart~Cali
    Iheart~Cali Members Posts: 5,991 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    I love that word uncouth. It's one of my favorite adjectives.
    Unsavory is another.

    Don't worry. I love u more than my Care Bear underwear. True story.
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  • DarcSkies777
    DarcSkies777 Members Posts: 5,600 ✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    Iheart~Cali wrote: »
    I love that word uncouth. It's one of my favorite adjectives.
    Unsavory is another.
    Dont try to out do me with fancy "I did my homework" words either...
    Don't worry. I love u more than my Care Bear underwear. True story.

    TOO LATE! I am now inconsolable...

    princefu.gif
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  • Iheart~Cali
    Iheart~Cali Members Posts: 5,991 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    lol @ that gif
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  • haute
    haute Members Posts: 11,581 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    Darc

    I keep getting hit on by these new age pepsi drinking, skinny jeans wearing youngins

    I check my new fragrance and no, there isn't any similac in it


    WTF is going on yo????
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  • DarcSkies777
    DarcSkies777 Members Posts: 5,600 ✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    Here's what not to do Haute:

    Dont walk by the 14 year old girl section of Ross & or Sears. That's where they're buying the jeans in the first place. Also, remember not to speak with anyone who's belt buckle is bigger than their pants.
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  • BabyBugatti
    BabyBugatti Members Posts: 9,173 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    i always seem to attract older players.
    what to do Dark?
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  • Blue Virgo
    Blue Virgo Members Posts: 7,092 ✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    I seem to be getting hit on by a lot of the male parents at my job.
    I'm very short with them, but still...they're always trying to talk/flirt with me....call me pet names....and ask if I have any plans for the night/weekend.

    It's so awkward.

    Help.

    =~(*
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  • DarcSkies777
    DarcSkies777 Members Posts: 5,600 ✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    Moreno.S wrote: »
    i always seem to attract older players.
    what to do Dark?
    DONT wear pigtails & Minnie Mouse panties with white knee high stockings. It only encourages them.

    Dont continue to gloss your full Afrikan lips in their presence. The sparkle from the gloss reminds the old men of the blood diamond glory days inducing feelings of euphoria which manifests itself sexually because it was also around the time of their first loves which were likely also brown skinned.
    I seem to be getting hit on by a lot of the male parents at my job.
    I'm very short with them, but still...they're always trying to talk/flirt with me....call me pet names....and ask if I have any plans for the night/weekend.

    It's so awkward.

    Help.

    =~(*
    Don't hang around Moreno. They're all the same pervert and they're expecting a threesome in the janitors closet. Most of them dont even have kids and just wondered on to the school grounds.

    Thank you for your questions ladies...
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  • Madam Speaker
    Madam Speaker Members Posts: 259 ✭
    edited July 2010
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    How do I stop gettin hit on by darkies?
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  • djparamnesia
    djparamnesia Confirm Email Posts: 434 ✭
    edited July 2010
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    my girl likes to play a game off ? me off to see how angry she can get me until i wna strangle the life outta her, what should i do?
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  • the_underground
    the_underground Members Posts: 1,561 ✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    I keep attracting weed heads who want a steady supply of my stash and my connections.

    What to do?
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  • Blue Virgo
    Blue Virgo Members Posts: 7,092 ✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    DarcSkies777 wrote: »
    Most of them dont even have kids and just wondered on to the school grounds.

    DAMN!

    But I had one parent tell me that he would take me on a shopping spree. The catch was that I had to "pay him back" after we were done.

    I reported him with the quickness. After that, he was not allowed to come inside the school. He had to call when he was outside and we sent his son to meet him.
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  • DarcSkies777
    DarcSkies777 Members Posts: 5,600 ✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    Madam Speaker wrote: »
    How do I stop gettin hit on by darkies?
    DONT grow your hair out or lose any weight. Also, dont cancel your Planned Parenthood Black Card. If darkies are hitting on you it may not be because you have weight issues, you may just be pregnant by one already.

    I'm guessing you've been getting hit on for about 2 trimeste -- I mean 6 months?
    djparamnesia wrote: »
    my girl likes to play a game off ? me off to see how angry she can get me until i wna strangle the life outta her, what should i do?
    DONT hit her....scarring and damaging your knuckles can lead to such things as, the inability to perform a firm handshake, bad handwriting, and an improper grip on lonely nights.

    DONT forget to go all the way if you decide to choke her and DONT forget your CPR training. A ? may have an attitude problem when she's awake. But she wont when her ass wakes back up after that LAPD choke hold. We call that "RESETTING A ? ."
    the_underground wrote: »
    I keep attracting weed heads who want a steady supply of my stash and my connections.

    What to do?
    DONT quit smoking...it may hinder your inability to deal with the fact that those arent weed heads. THey're crackheads. You're just so damn high their lighting fast crackhead movements seem regular speed through your intoxicated highs.
    blue virgo wrote: »
    DAMN!

    But I had one parent tell me that he would take me on a shopping spree. The catch was that I had to "pay him back" after we were done.

    I reported him with the quickness. After that, he was not allowed to come inside the school. He had to call when he was outside and we sent his son to meet him.
    DONT call the police -- it will just make Me--I mean him angry.
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  • BabyBugatti
    BabyBugatti Members Posts: 9,173 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    DarcSkies777 wrote: »
    DONT wear pigtails & Minnie Mouse panties with white knee high stockings. It only encourages them.

    Dont continue to gloss your full Afrikan lips in their presence. The sparkle from the gloss reminds the old men of the blood diamond glory days inducing feelings of euphoria which manifests itself sexually because it was also around the time of their first loves which were likely also brown skinned.

    but i dont do any of the above :(
    i even gloss in private.
    why me?
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  • DarcSkies777
    DarcSkies777 Members Posts: 5,600 ✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    DONT ask why...Ask why not. THats what happens when you attend Catholic churches. They dont just like little boys ya know.
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  • DEE-LICIOUS
    DEE-LICIOUS Members Posts: 6,088 ✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    I keep getting pulled over by cops!! And getting speeding tickets! Help smh
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  • Myayoni is bored
    Myayoni is bored Members Posts: 716 ✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    Lebron. Why.
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  • DarcSkies777
    DarcSkies777 Members Posts: 5,600 ✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    DEE-LICIOUS wrote: »
    I keep getting pulled over by cops!! And getting speeding tickets! Help smh
    Well whatever you do...Dont pull your ? out. That only works wit white women.

    They'll shoot the ? out of you and say they thought your nipple was the tip of a gun. The Jury will either acquit or convict on a lesser charge on account of you having a 9mm ? .
    Myayoni is bored wrote: »
    Lebron. Why.
    DONT cry...you'll need to save those tears for the announcement of the Cleveland CAVS 2010 -2011 line up of players you've never heard of. Besides your city should be used to losing.

    This is the only time in Ohio history the property value has gone DOWN when the black family left. Thats how bad it is in Cleveland.
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  • Myayoni is bored
    Myayoni is bored Members Posts: 716 ✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    I dont give a ? about Cleveland. I was hoping he went to Chicago. I hate Dwade. These background losers on espn are not even funny.
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  • DarcSkies777
    DarcSkies777 Members Posts: 5,600 ✭✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    Myayoni is bored wrote: »
    I dont give a ? about Cleveland. I was hoping he went to Chicago. I hate Dwade. These background losers on espn are not even funny.

    I never promised accurate advice...

    :shrug
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  • Funky Dr
    Funky Dr Banned Users Posts: 2,348 ✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    DarcSkies777 wrote: »
    This is the only time in Ohio history the property value has gone DOWN when the black family left. Thats how bad it is in Cleveland.

    Oh ? ! LMAO!
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  • Funky Dr
    Funky Dr Banned Users Posts: 2,348 ✭✭
    edited July 2010
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    Should I wish happy birthday to cute women on facebook who I only added because they lived locally and were cute? Who Ive only commented on their profiles like maybe once or twice?
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