Non-black woman I have a question..
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death187sin
Members Posts: 6,098 ✭✭✭✭✭
So there is a few high profile divorces taking place soon and the I noticed a similarity in the comments from black woman about it. Most were squawking about she better get that child support money and get that alimony check..
What I would like to know is if this is the advice you have been given or have you heard this advice being given to someone you know? Or is this just something commonly blurted out by black woman?
It seems like as soon as you separate nowadays the conversation shifts to judges and child support etc..
What I would like to know is if this is the advice you have been given or have you heard this advice being given to someone you know? Or is this just something commonly blurted out by black woman?
It seems like as soon as you separate nowadays the conversation shifts to judges and child support etc..
Comments
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It just depends on the circumstances surrounding the divorce for me.
A Tiger Woods situation..get that ? money.
Just growing apart, no fouls from either side...try to do it as amicably as possible.
It's not a rule that you HAVE to have a miserable, nasty divorce process...but then again, some situations call for it.
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Sooo I know it's hard to think about for you Skyler but if the hubby told you he was divorcing you for another woman...how would that go down?
Like I said, you ain't gotta be married to be able to empathize as a woman.
You do your wife ? and it leads to divorce, you deserve what you get. -
Depends on the situation...
Why are they getting a divorce in the first place ?
In Texas we are a no fault divorce state so in my experience ....a fair and accurate split is ideal. Meaning about 50/50
However if one side cheated and spent money on the person or was abusive...... then the 50/50 split goes out the window. -
i will never be legally bound to another human being...black white or green
whats love got to do with it? -
Skyler White for president 2016
im gone to lunch...... -
Alimony isn't ordered just because you marry a broke ?
What if the woman/man was a stay at home parent ? Or what if it was not necessary for the spouse to work due to things like disability or just the simple fact that one income was needed?
I think its fair to some degree...... -
Stay at home moms should find a job after their kid(s) start school. What other reason she have to stay at home?
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The Prodigalson wrote: »Stay at home moms should find a job after their kid(s) start school. What other reason she have to stay at home?
to be there when the kids come home...
to keep the home clean
to run the errands for the home...
to make the home less stressful for the hubby when he comes home from the world and work...
Thats what after school care does and all house chores can be split by both parents and the kids if they are old enough. -
Disability is a factor. In Texas a person can be obligated to provide alimony for.life if the spouse is disabled
The purpose of alimony is to avoid any unfair economic consequences after a divorce.
What if the wife worked and supported the husband while he went to school? Now let's say he makes more money than she does . Fast forward 10 years and now they divorce . Maybe she worked the entire time .....Maybe she took off to stay home with their kids . It doesn't siacount her contribution to the marriage.
Even with a fair split of property and child support ....A judge will not let a husband leave the marriage with the couple's most valuable asset...his earning potential. Especially in this case.... when the wife contributed to his education by supporting him.
Alimony can be eliminated or changed depending if the former spouses needs change . Not saying it should be awarded in every case ...but with some there is merit. -
I know a dude who got to pay his ex-wife $4k a month til she dies or gets remarried & he going to marry this 21 y/o girl later this year. Dude is going for the double up on the alimony.
I don't think I could ever be cool with paying someone I'm not with anymore any amount of money. -
Skyler White wrote: »@kat...well ? it would just go down, lol. You can't make someone stay if they don't want to.
It's not about being married or empathizing, I'm talking about women who celebrate divorce. Go to one of those primarily female message boards and read the divorce threads. Its depressing over there.
Child support isn't a penalty. It's just funds allotted to provide the same lifestyle for the child after divorce that he/she/they had while the parents were married. It doesn't always go down that way because some chicks live off of those funds, but it is what it is.
Alimony...well yeah thats kind of a penalty for marrying a broke ? . If you have money like that, there's nothing wrong with treating your wife to the finest but if she can't do for herself then you kinda set yourself up for the alimony trap by marrying a broke woman.
I don't think a woman "deserves" anything after divorce. The child deserves support, but alimony is just "ehh" to me. I don't think I'd want to be financially dependent on someone that doesn't want me anymore. My ego is way too big for that.
I agree with the bolded.
Child support isn't a penalty although plenty of men act as if it is a penalty.
Alimony is warranted in some cases, but I'd never be the woman that would be lost without it. No woman in this day and age should allow herself to be in a position where she couldn't survive without her man.
And it's not so much that a woman 'deserves' anything after a divorce, but if her husband is doing her ? then I wouldn't be mad at her going full force to get whatever she can get out of his ass...and I'd feel the same if the roles were reversed.
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The Prodigalson wrote: »The Prodigalson wrote: »Stay at home moms should find a job after their kid(s) start school. What other reason she have to stay at home?
to be there when the kids come home...
to keep the home clean
to run the errands for the home...
to make the home less stressful for the hubby when he comes home from the world and work...
Thats what after school care does and all house chores can be split by both parents and the kids if they are old enough.
before i reply to this...are you being serious?
How am I'm not being serious? Are you being serious about that stay at home mom ? ? There is no reason for a women to be at home all day once their kid(s) starts school. After school care provides activities for kids to do when the parent can't pick them up Because of work. The woman should be out working or atleast doing something else other than house chores.. In not doing so, she setting her self up for failure if a divorce was to occur. If both parents work why wouldn't they split the chores in the house either? Is your wife a stay at home mom? -
I could think of plenty of things to do if I didn't work.
Finances would probably be in better order.
House would STAY clean, laundry would stay done.
He would have breakfast, lunch, AND dinner on a daily basis.
The tough thing about being a homemaker and mother is having a full time job to go with it. Everything is rushed, I'm exhausted and a lot of times I just don't want to do ? during the week.
I force myself of course, but it's taxing.
Being a homemaker can be a full time job even with the kids at school. -
MzGrahamBitches wrote: »I could think of plenty of things to do if I didn't work.
Finances would probably be in better order.
House would STAY clean, laundry would stay done.
He would have breakfast, lunch, AND dinner on a daily basis.
The tough thing about being a homemaker and mother is having a full time job to go with it. Everything is rushed, I'm exhausted and a lot of times I just don't want to do ? during the week.
I force myself of course, but it's taxing.
Being a homemaker can be a full time job even with the kids at school.
LOLOLOLOL -
no after school programs?
wtf?
so no sports, chess club, debate team, band...nuffin?? -
MzGrahamBitches wrote: »I could think of plenty of things to do if I didn't work.
Finances would probably be in better order.
House would STAY clean, laundry would stay done.
He would have breakfast, lunch, AND dinner on a daily basis.
The tough thing about being a homemaker and mother is having a full time job to go with it. Everything is rushed, I'm exhausted and a lot of times I just don't want to do ? during the week.
I force myself of course, but it's taxing.
Being a homemaker can be a full time job even with the kids at school.
LOLOLOLOL
Way to add to the discussion...very grown and sexy. -
Skyler White wrote: »The Prodigalson wrote: »The Prodigalson wrote: »The Prodigalson wrote: »Stay at home moms should find a job after their kid(s) start school. What other reason she have to stay at home?
to be there when the kids come home...
to keep the home clean
to run the errands for the home...
to make the home less stressful for the hubby when he comes home from the world and work...
Thats what after school care does and all house chores can be split by both parents and the kids if they are old enough.
before i reply to this...are you being serious?
How am I'm not being serious? Are you being serious about that stay at home mom ? ? There is no reason for a women to be at home all day once their kid(s) starts school. After school care provides activities for kids to do when the parent can't pick them up Because of work. The woman should be out working or atleast doing something else other than house chores.. In not doing so, she setting her self up for failure if a divorce was to occur. If both parents work why wouldn't they split the chores in the house either? Is your wife a stay at home mom?
after school care is a substitute for time with your child. I think if any sane parent could choose between sending their kid to after school care vs being with them, they'd be with their kid. Nothing can replace that time spent.
Of course nothing can replace time spent but in this world we live in if an income of one isn't suffient to support a family you have to make sacrifices but at the same time get creative in the time you have to spend with your kids. Just because they spend an extra hour in school doesn't mean I have no time to spend with them. -
So black women r money hungry ? and white women are what?
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MzGrahamBitches wrote: »Sooo I know it's hard to think about for you Skyler but if the hubby told you he was divorcing you for another woman...how would that go down?
Like I said, you ain't gotta be married to be able to empathize as a woman.
You do your wife ? and it leads to divorce, you deserve what you get.
Why does it always have to be someone doing someone ? ? People divorce for other reasons. -
DOC H0LL!DAY wrote: »MzGrahamBitches wrote: »Sooo I know it's hard to think about for you Skyler but if the hubby told you he was divorcing you for another woman...how would that go down?
Like I said, you ain't gotta be married to be able to empathize as a woman.
You do your wife ? and it leads to divorce, you deserve what you get.
Why does it always have to be someone doing someone ? ? People divorce for other reasons.
I addressed that in my first post which you obviously did not read. -
The Prodigalson wrote: »The Prodigalson wrote: »The Prodigalson wrote: »Stay at home moms should find a job after their kid(s) start school. What other reason she have to stay at home?
to be there when the kids come home...
to keep the home clean
to run the errands for the home...
to make the home less stressful for the hubby when he comes home from the world and work...
Thats what after school care does and all house chores can be split by both parents and the kids if they are old enough.
before i reply to this...are you being serious?
How am I'm not being serious? Are you being serious about that stay at home mom ? ? There is no reason for a women to be at home all day once their kid(s) starts school. After school care provides activities for kids to do when the parent can't pick them up Because of work. The woman should be out working or atleast doing something else other than house chores.. In not doing so, she setting her self up for failure if a divorce was to occur. If both parents work why wouldn't they split the chores in the house either? Is your wife a stay at home mom?
i mean...i cant speak on nobody else's situation, but i stopped putting my faith in other people a LONG time ago...and while i currently dont have any kids, you can bet that i wont be letting them do no after school program if my wife was a stay at home mother. I just view those places as glorified daycares.
My stay at home wife would be the one to make sure the homework is not only done, but correct and like Sky hit on, maintaining that time bond with them.
I dont ever wanna feel like im dumping my kids off on nobody...but Kat brought up a good point too in her post...
You're making assumptions off of ifs. My wife and I both work we still find time to spend with our kids afterwards and not only does she help with homework so do I. Seems as if you're trying to push a lot of ? on to the woman when a father should be into his kids school activities as well. Why does the mother have to be afford all this when I can be active in my children life other than been a provider as well? -
Kids age yearly bruh
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Lots of woman use child support and alimony as a means to support their lifestyle when it should be used to support the kids. I give my baby's mother $550 per month for my daughter. Like clock work. She keeps threatening to take me to court because she feels im not giving her enough. She is very irresponsible with money so somehow her back rent, unpaid utility bills and lack of bus fare is my fault and in her mind, my problem. If she takes me to court she might get less then what I'm already giving her.
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DOC H0LL!DAY wrote: »Lots of woman use child support and alimony as a means to support their lifestyle when it should be used to support the kids. I give my baby's mother $550 per month for my daughter. Like clock work. She keeps threatening to take me to court because she feels im not giving her enough. She is very irresponsible with money so somehow her back rent, unpaid utility bills and lack of bus fare is my fault and in her mind, my problem. If she takes me to court she might get less then what I'm already giving her.
Then let her do it and put the difference in a savings for your child. -
2 incomes is always better than 1, why waste the time and have a stay at home mom or dad where there are programs for kids to interact in after school...and other activities that they can be involved in, instead of just being at home...truth be told kids learn and interact better when they are involved in things..and while the mom or dad is baby-sitting the house..aint that much washing to do and aint that much cleaning to be did everyday why not get up and bring in that 2nd income or enroll in some classes to maybe "add" to the income...Last time I check..aint no harm in "adding" to something...
