Chivalry = Benevolent Sexism

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SixSickSins
SixSickSins Members Posts: 8,134 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited July 2013 in For The Grown & Sexy
Chivalry = Benevolent Sexism, [Yes or No Poll], and discuss why you chose your answer.

Now, on a forum comprised largely of chauvinistic, patriarchal males, I expect some #SideEyes, eye rolls, and scoffs. But I'd like to hear the different views.

Men- How do you view chivalry? Were you brought up to be chivalrous (pull out a ladies chair, hold open/open her door, lift heavy things, give up your seat if she's left standing, etc)? Do you think it should be deaded or left intact?

Women- Do you like when men are chivalrous towards you? Do you accept it?

To answer my own question, I do believe it is benevolent sexism. Now, don't get me wrong--there is a difference between politeness and chivalry. Politeness is common decency. Chivalry is geared specifically towards women. I can be 50 yards away and a guy will stand there and hold a door open for me...lettin' all the cool air out and all the bugs in. Like, seriously. I'll just slow down my pace so that he gets the picture that it isn't necessary to hold it open for so long in the name of chivalry.

What say you?

Chivalry = Benevolent Sexism 58 votes

Yes- Chivalry is ? and should be deaded.
20%
Africa Unitedzombiesoul rattlerVIBE7figzTheIraqSixSickSinsLUClENGold_Certificatecannonspike1994twatgettaWeezy_Christ 12 votes
No- Chivalry is okay with me.
79%
DupacdeadeyeKaileftcoastkevjonoBelovedAfenibigduece692stepz_aheadnex ginobnoxiouslyfreshms.jonesSo ILLCapitalBRock_Wellgdatruth2.0CainBussy_Getta Ajackson17NothingButTheTruthStoneColdMikey 46 votes
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Comments

  • Lou Cypher
    Lou Cypher Members Posts: 52,521 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Ill hold the door open for ya and ? .
  • SixSickSins
    SixSickSins Members Posts: 8,134 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Yes- Chivalry is ? and should be deaded.
    Lou Cypher wrote: »
    Ill hold the door open for ya and ? .

    Hello, ? . Why? Were you brought up to do so?
  • Lou Cypher
    Lou Cypher Members Posts: 52,521 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    No not really. just something i do. I appreciate it when people do it for me. So i do it for people.

    Your attractiveness also helps out with my decision to hold open the door or not.
  • Crude_
    Crude_ Members Posts: 19,964 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    No- Chivalry is okay with me.
    I didn't vote either way on one hand I think ladies should be treated like ladies.

    The man is supposed to be the protector and provider.

    On the other hand I think to myself in a truly equal society a women wouldn't need those subtle acts of kindness.

    I think in a truly equal society a women could take an ass whipping like a man, lose custody of her kids like a man, and have to perform the same tasks as man without bias for her sexuality.

    We don't live in equal society though in most not all but MOST cases men are held to a higher standard.
  • jono
    jono Members Posts: 30,280 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    No- Chivalry is okay with me.
    i think it is benevolent sexism, but I still think its one of those things that you just do for women.

    Now if a woman wants to lift heavy boxes by herself to prove something to me then by all means go for it.

    I just grew up doing things for women, children and the elderly and if anyone takes offense then I consider it some sort of inferiority complex. I'm not changing who I am because of another person's mental disorders though. I just let then do them.
  • Disciplined InSight
    Disciplined InSight Members Posts: 13,478 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    No- Chivalry is okay with me.
    Du_Du wrote: »
    everything i do whether it be nice or rude is because i want to do it,

    i don't do ? for an external reward system, i do it because of how it makes me feel personally....

    so if i hold a door for a lady, or pull out her chair, open the car door....

    i do it because my ego has convinced me that i'm a helluva a guy, and this is what great guys do......

    so i can give a ? less how the female feels about it.....as long as it makes me feel like i'm an awesome person for holding a door for your ass......you can be grateful or irritated....doesn't matter....i'm still awesome for doing it

    Pretty much how I feel.

    I mean why do it for a "reward" i.e. sex/? , because 9 times outta 10 women know in their minds they're gonna ? that man or not. That's how the majority of these dudes end up in the "friendzone".
  • SixSickSins
    SixSickSins Members Posts: 8,134 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Yes- Chivalry is ? and should be deaded.
    Lou Cypher wrote: »
    No not really. just something i do. I appreciate it when people do it for me. So i do it for people.

    Your attractiveness also helps out with my decision to hold open the door or not.

    Well, you got it from somewhere. Something such as chivalry isn't innate. You've simply modeled another male's chivalrous behavior.
    Matt- wrote: »
    i hold the door open for people out of politeness, not because i'm chivalrous. I don't care how far away the person is. Same can be said for giving up my seat, paying the dinner tab, or really anything else. Its common decency.

    For men as well?
    I didn't vote either way on one hand I think ladies should be treated like ladies.

    The man is supposed to be the protector and provider.

    On the other hand I think to myself in a truly equal society a women wouldn't doesn't need those subtle acts of kindness.

    I think in a truly equal society a women could take an ass whipping like a man, lose custody of her kids like a man, and have to perform the same tasks as man without bias for her sexuality.

    We don't live in equal society though in most not all but MOST cases men are held to a higher standard.

    Fixed for cosignability. Cs the underlined, though. I believe men should get equal treatment in this as well in regards to those "subtle acts of kindness".
  • Will Munny
    Will Munny Members Posts: 30,199 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    It tells a hoe how much her ? is worth.
  • Matt-
    Matt- Members Posts: 21,585 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Matt- wrote: »
    i hold the door open for people out of politeness, not because i'm chivalrous. I don't care how far away the person is. Same can be said for giving up my seat, paying the dinner tab, or really anything else. Its common decency.

    For men as well?

    i'll hold the door open for anyone. I'll give up my seat to a woman pretty much every time. especially if she's pregnant or carrying some stuff or whatever. I'd only give up my seat to a male if they were elderly or crippled.
  • Dupac
    Dupac Members, Writer Posts: 68,365 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    No- Chivalry is okay with me.
    Du_Du wrote: »
    everything i do whether it be nice or rude is because i want to do it,

    i don't do ? for an external reward system, i do it because of how it makes me feel personally....

    so if i hold a door for a lady, or pull out her chair, open the car door....

    i do it because my ego has convinced me that i'm a helluva a guy, and this is what great guys do......

    so i can give a ? less how the female feels about it .....as long as it makes me feel like i'm an awesome person for holding a door for your ass......you can be grateful or irritated....doesn't matter....i'm still awesome for doing it

    Basically all that stood out in your post. Dull, chauvinistic, disgusting thought mechanism.

    i'm a man....what you expect?
  • playmaker88
    playmaker88 Members Posts: 67,905 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2013
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    Agreed with black some ? is just common courtesy..

    one thing i think is wack is if you you treat a girl different if shes is fat, ugly, or what have you from those who you perceive as dimes.. in acts of "chivilary" dont make them feel special.. or like a princess that their mothers and fathers said they were.. FOH.. COMMON... courtesy


    Oh and you get about 3 steps towards the door anything else is just awkward as ?
  • goldenja
    goldenja Members Posts: 6,351 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @SixSickSins

    chivalry or not.

    based on your answer from this poll

    If we were to run into each other at the same gas station, and I held to door open for you.

    would you even say thank you?
  • SixSickSins
    SixSickSins Members Posts: 8,134 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Yes- Chivalry is ? and should be deaded.
    jono wrote: »
    i think it is benevolent sexism, but I still think its one of those things that you just do for women.

    Now if a woman wants to lift heavy boxes by herself to prove something to me then by all means go for it.

    I just grew up doing things for women, children and the elderly and if anyone takes offense then I consider it some sort of inferiority complex. I'm not changing who I am because of another person's mental disorders though. I just let then do them.

    Interesting answer. Why do you feel that it is something to do "just because"? Conversely, as you feel there may be a mental deficit, I believe that chivalrous men have a false superiority complex due to the incorrect belief that women are to be seen as helpless and damsels in distress.
  • Dupac
    Dupac Members, Writer Posts: 68,365 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    No- Chivalry is okay with me.
    look dammit,...i'm awesome...so i like to do awesome ? to enforce that...

    and if holding a door for your ungrateful ass just reaffirms how awesome i am......then i'm holding that door...
  • Crude_
    Crude_ Members Posts: 19,964 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    No- Chivalry is okay with me.
    @SixSickSins the man is viewed as the protector and provider in most societies.

    The man is also held to a higher standard as well I've personally witnessed men commit certain crimes and be faced with years of incarceration and women commit the same offenses and be served with a slap on the wrist.

    In a realistically equal society a man would be able to skull drag you if you got out of pocket with him and you and I both know violence from men directed at women is not viewed the same as violence from women directed at men.

    I wouldn't ever hit a woman in reality but in a equal society no one would be above getting their ass beat.

    I suspect a lot of women would practice more control in certain situations if this were a reality.
  • a.mann
    a.mann Members Posts: 19,746 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    blackrain wrote: »
    I think you're thinking too deeply into it and majority of things viewed as chivalry are simply common courtesy. For example if I'm stronger than you, what sense would it make for me to watch you struggle carrying something I can lift/carry easier? I'll give up my seat to a woman older than me if I'm on the metro. If I'm at a door and I see you walking towards it I'm going to hold it. If you slow down your pace that's your own ? fault for going out of your way to prove a point that really serves no purpose. To take a simple act of kindness and turn it into some insult against your gender is egotistical and ain't really a good personality trait.

  • SixSickSins
    SixSickSins Members Posts: 8,134 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Yes- Chivalry is ? and should be deaded.
    Chivalry, a custom introduced to europe by black moors serves a purpose. Before chivalry white men were treating women like ? like europe is the world capital of the hoh movement.

    Today though, a lot of these hoes ain't got NO manners so chivalrous gestures go largely unappreciated and even clowned.
    I'll always treat my woman like a lady and my mother aunts sisters female relatives.

    I like you new poster, but I will have to respectfully disagree. There's a difference between being a gentleman and being chivalrous imo.
    Agreed with black some ? is just common courtesy..

    one thing i think is wack is if you you treat a girl different if shes is fat, ugly, or what have you from those who you perceive as dimes.. in acts of "chivilary" dont make them feel special.. or like a princess that their mothers and fathers said they were.. FOH.. COMMON... courtesy


    Oh and you get about 3 steps towards the door anything else is just awkward as ?

    Goated for promoting equality in this particular instance...even if it is sexist equality. Good objectivity in that regard.

  • Crude_
    Crude_ Members Posts: 19,964 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    No- Chivalry is okay with me.
    Cain1 wrote: »
    Depends on the female but I have no problem with opening doors or being a gentleman to the right female. If she carry herself with class then she will get treated as such. If she carrier herself like she never been home trained then I will treat her accordingly.

    Quoted for emphasis

    Every female doesn't deserve that treatment though.

  • Ghost Leopard
    Ghost Leopard Members Posts: 933 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    No- Chivalry is okay with me.
    You can tell when a woman has never been treated like a lady (yes lady is an actual term and position) it's like trying to hand feed berries to a squirrel. ? be actin all confused, twitchy, paranoid, smh.
    Learned my lesson not evey female needs to or wants to be treated like a lady. Some [read: most] can only relate to being treated like common hoes so oblige them.

  • deadeye
    deadeye Members Posts: 22,884 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    No- Chivalry is okay with me.
    Depends on what kind of mood I'm in and the kinda vibe I'm getting from the female.

    One time I was going to Red Lobster, held the door open for a young lady and her toddler.....and the ? didn't even acknowledge me.

    Didn't say thank you or anything.

    Not that I was expecting a whole lot, but that's just common courtesy.

    I mean, how hard is it to say thanks for someone holding the door open for...not just you...but your child as well?

    I would've gone off on her if it wasn't for the fact that she had a little kid with her.

    Ever since then, I usually only do it now if it's an older woman who looks like she could be old enough to be my mother.

    I was raised to do ? like that, but as I've gotten older I've realized that not every female deserves that kind of treatment.