A poem I wrote about my feelings at 14, called fear.. orginal copy on a napkin...
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BrazilianHairMoney
Members Posts: 2,481 ✭✭✭✭✭
I feel this is what some people are facing as a adults, or when they come against others lives its because of FEAR. At some point we all feel the felling of low self worth, but some of us go thru it at different ages. At 14 I felt like this. I use to carry the low self worth stigma, because I was born in the ghetto. I grew up and no longer wanted to feel this way. I thought I was a late bloomer, but as a adult its some adults that feel this way, yet they try to put their fear on others. Either wanting you to be afraid of them, or trying to make you afraid of life. I was looking back at this old poem I wrote on a napkin @ 14.. as I got older these same suicidal thoughts, turned into thoughts of a killer. You know people thinking pushing people to the edge will make them ? themselves, but in most cases it make them ? who pushes them to the edge.
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I keep all my original writings.. even the ones I write on napkins, I keep them safe... I never get rid of them, and all my writings are copy written in the library of congress..
I wrote this at 18 and the reason these copies are sloppy is because I have automatic writings, which mean the words come to my head faster than what I can write, so I be writing real fast
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@RealLady the muhfuckin GOAT
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@Roster Player #99. Iam pretty honest with myself, if you look in my book of rhymes, you will see I can see everything about my self good and bad. Thats why I don't need people bashing me, because I can really see already.
I was about 19, when I typed this at work, while I was bored, not the original version. some typos.
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This ? girl scares the hell out of me
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thats what I was saying, I scare some people and thats why they try to tare me down because of fear of the unknowing.. What might scare them, is I'm not afraid of death. Alot of people fear death. I'm more afraid of whats going to happen while I'm alive than scared of dying... but I don't want to die in vain, I want people to know who this is before I die.
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I've never ever come across someone so out of touch with reality.
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most of you are not in touch with reality your looking at alot of t.v and programmed of what reality is. In the reality, this world is not in a happy state, everybody isnt glad to be here, and thus fourth. I'm too much in reality for a person like you, who may be oversaturated with commercialism, and brainwashed by popular opinion. You think because you all AGREE with each other, that make you on point, because someone will C/S you, because they are brainwashed to see things the same way. You can't really float with me, unless you step out of the box with your thoughts, and speak about something that isnt popular to say on facebook, or b.e.t.. I been stopped watching alot of b.e.t and things like that, thats when people started calling me strange. I realized that television was blurring my vision.
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@Mryounggun, and don't think I don't see the so called reality people are living in. "It's all about money" "it's all about looks", "it's all about sex".. I can see the delusion people are calling reality.. "Its all about acceptance" I
If I wanted I could act real fake too, it's not hard, to deceive people, that your someone your not. I could be on here bragging and impressing people, I don't have to keep it real about my feelings. I know how to act fake and talk in the fake voice most females use, and talk about dumb ? like who ? who all day long, and whats going on, on twitter. I'm not absent from the world. I'm here son, but I don't agree with whats going on. -
BrazilianHairMoney wrote: »@Roster Player #99. Iam pretty honest with myself, if you look in my book of rhymes, you will see I can see everything about my self good and bad. Thats why I don't need people bashing me, because I can really see already.
I was about 19, when I typed this at work, while I was bored, not the original version. some typos.
that typed out poem was good tho I cant even front. -
thanks these are some of my dark moments
I can see death, but still I don't wear a bullet proof vest, because I just want to get that ? off of my chest.
I'm so over your head, I'm advance in this lifetime, I'm alive but already dead.
I was writing this ? on my high school notebook paper, when I supposed to been doing school work.
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Same writing style on toilet paper also I see.
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This is I am poetry.. but I got edited versions, I'm just tired of people thinking I'm a fake writer, or somebody write my music. Ive been writing, wrote every lyric I spit.. I write to music also, but I can write bars..
it's actually saying when a listener hears my flow he/she become enthusiastic
I got others one of my favorite ones is called misses ghetto..
Misses Ghetto didnt mean no harm, she's not the real reason people do wrong, she sangs a old slavery song, and just happened to be where some people call home.
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who don't believe you.
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^ You'll be surprised what I go thru, it's like some people believe I'm a complete ? . I don't try to prove I'm smart to them, but the lying got to stop.
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DAmn, like that? some people smh.
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This ? is a shadyteam alias
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u know what? its not me that is mental it's mental people ? with me, and I've been trying to figure out the problem with these people. & it's fear something I went thru as a kid. Fear breeds guilt and shame.
You got people that are so ashamed they come from the ghetto, and they never out grow the shame, so when they get older they ? with people lives because they think nobody been thru what they going thru. Some people they are ? with been thru what they been thru but GREW PAST IT AT A EARLY AGE.
To be ashamed of being ghetto leads most of them to being shamed of being black, then they ? with people who they think are not ghetto, or ? up people lives who they think are not black. They come on the computer with this mental shame and guilt and start ? with people. & when you tell them look I'm from the ghetto too, and I don't act like that. They think your are lying, pretending just to mock them
They believe I'm a ? , & I'm tired of the ? . I work from the computer, only reason I ever been online. This social disturbance got to stop. It went way to far, they need mental counseling. These people lead people in depression because they are depressed, and they want people to die. Thats when everyone say people are real when they die, but while you alive, you got to put up with ppl mental insecurities.
No I'm not insecure or think I'm ugly dumped ? or abused, the ? people want to believe to ignore the truth they have ? mental problems and they ? with people on computers who they do not know.
My mindstate is just like pac's was.. He was a troubled soul because of these type of people with these mental disorders. Nothing was wrong with pac he just hated people getting jealous of him.
stop calling me mental there is nothing mental about me. not at all. These RATS WONT ? STOP PLAYING with me until they are DEAD. You may think I'm going to die first but it may not turn out like it look. This is the kind of hatred that kills people.
http://youtu.be/6ElX6mLnb1g
http://youtu.be/PIvjfEy4Dk4 -
Hey ma, lets ? .
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