Spare her feelings? f#ck no, why should I?
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2stepz_ahead
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SO my ex recently found out i told my daughter why I hate her so much and why we broke up.
I didnt give her all the details because shes not old enough yet but i gave her the cliff notes.
i took my responsibility for being a young ? and trusting her. I took my responsibility in taking the condom off and ? in a hoodrat.
but in the process of all that i let her know what type mother she has and why i fought so hard to take her away from that type life. i couldnt go all in but again just the cliff notes.
so now her mother is embarrassed because she has to lie or try to clean up the ? she always said. she also had to talk to her other daughters because my daughter called her older sisters to compare notes on what their dad said.
I have no idea what brought this on but i had to be honest with her.
her mom said i should not have told her, and i should have considered her feelings along with my daughters.
my wife kinda agrees but understood why i did and why i kept some for later.
I feel like why the fukk would i spare her mothers feelings? this ? put me thru it and now i have to still be the bigger person and lie to my daughter?
i honestly got tired of hiding ? and looking like the bad person.
now while i understand that kids will find ? out on they own, ? started to get crazy because she didnt understand and she needed more clarity because the questions coming at me wasnt justified nor was i ready to keep taking the blame for ? .
SO should I have considered her mothers feelings? was i wrong? how would you have handled it?
i really do hate that ? .
I didnt give her all the details because shes not old enough yet but i gave her the cliff notes.
i took my responsibility for being a young ? and trusting her. I took my responsibility in taking the condom off and ? in a hoodrat.
but in the process of all that i let her know what type mother she has and why i fought so hard to take her away from that type life. i couldnt go all in but again just the cliff notes.
so now her mother is embarrassed because she has to lie or try to clean up the ? she always said. she also had to talk to her other daughters because my daughter called her older sisters to compare notes on what their dad said.
I have no idea what brought this on but i had to be honest with her.
her mom said i should not have told her, and i should have considered her feelings along with my daughters.
my wife kinda agrees but understood why i did and why i kept some for later.
I feel like why the fukk would i spare her mothers feelings? this ? put me thru it and now i have to still be the bigger person and lie to my daughter?
i honestly got tired of hiding ? and looking like the bad person.
now while i understand that kids will find ? out on they own, ? started to get crazy because she didnt understand and she needed more clarity because the questions coming at me wasnt justified nor was i ready to keep taking the blame for ? .
SO should I have considered her mothers feelings? was i wrong? how would you have handled it?
i really do hate that ? .
Comments
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I don't agree with badmouthing my ex to my kids AT ALL. It does the kids no good true or not. It makes you look spiteful. It's really not about the other parent at all, it's about the child being privy to information that honestly isn't their business. It can also make the child feel like they have to choose sides. Idgaf about sparing my ex's feelings, I just won't put my kids in the middle of our ? for any reason.
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You did the right thing.
Your ex is just mad because you exposed the lies she had been feeding your daughter.
lol @ your daughter calling all her sisters to compare notes on their fathers.
How many baby daddies does your ex have? -
If you spare their feelings you will regret letting get em off scott free for the rest of your life.
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I took my responsibility in taking the condom off and ? in a hoodrat
stopping reading after this -
Fam, no...just no. I usually agree with you on a lot of ? . Not this though. Bad mouthing your kid's mother is ? and counterproductive. Your issues with her and between you and her, not your daughter. Kids don't need to be in grown folks business like that.
My son is 5, meaning I have AT LEAST 13 more years of dealing with his mom. I'd like those years to continue to be peaceful and drama-free. Me bad mouthing her to our son isn't really conducive to that happening. And my ex isn't even vindictive like, but from the way you're talking...yours is. Something to think about.
Also, when kids have a ? parent, it's best to let them learn that on their own as they get older. Regardless of how YOU feel about her, your daughter still looks at it as someone talking ? about her mom, regardless of if it is true or no. ? is just bad form. -
SO my ex recently found out i told my daughter why I hate her so much and why we broke up.
Aint this what we rail on women for doin?? Not a good move. Selfish and emotional. Did not read the rest. -
nah, you did the right thing. Kids need to know it's okay to dislike people for a good reason not some phoney BS made up ? . They need to know the true workings of interpersonal relationships. It'll reduce the numbers of these emo kids walking around here feelin some type of way but don't have the words or courage to say it or address it. If anything your kid saw that you still worked with ole girl even though you not fond of her. That's a character trait they need to be exposed to. Kids are going to take sides, might as well give them all the information they need.
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It all depends on how bad the situation was because their are a lot of trifling ? out there that you can't retain information on while she could be bad mouthing to your daughter about you. In some cases it's hard to be the better man and morality goes out the window. Living honest and telling your daughter how her mother's a grimy ? is probably a lot healthier than holding it in.
Once again, it depends on the circumstances of the situation and you have to tell your daughter with courtesy and honesty. -
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How old is your daughter? That seems pretty smart to compare notes.
If she did that she's probably smart enough to understand where you are coming from.
I feel if it's vital info then it's nothing wrong with telling your child how someone is. Give them the tools to learn how to be their own person and who not to emulate.
It's a reality that some parents ain't ? . Better her finding out from you than learning on her own imo. -
How old is your daughter, B?
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I don't agree with badmouthing my ex to my kids AT ALL. It does the kids no good true or not. It makes you look spiteful. It's really not about the other parent at all, it's about the child being privy to information that honestly isn't their business. It can also make the child feel like they have to choose sides. Idgaf about sparing my ex's feelings, I just won't put my kids in the middle of our ? for any reason.
I agree but if withholding said information became a detriment to his image in his daughters eyes like he said then it's def understandable. -
I don't agree with badmouthing my ex to my kids AT ALL. It does the kids no good true or not. It makes you look spiteful. It's really not about the other parent at all, it's about the child being privy to information that honestly isn't their business. It can also make the child feel like they have to choose sides. Idgaf about sparing my ex's feelings, I just won't put my kids in the middle of our ? for any reason.
I agree but if withholding said information became a detriment to his image in his daughters eyes like he said then it's def understandable.
No it's not understandable. It's spite plain and simple and nobody is acting like the grownup. She bad mouthed me so I'm gonna do the same? To my child? There are ways to show your child you're not a ? other than making the other parent look worse than you. -
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Maybe it's because my son is young, but I'm not really bad mouthing my sons mother no matter what she is saying about me. That doesn't make sense. Two wrongs don't make a right. I'd call her and be like 'Yo, whatever issues we got with one another, we need to handle amongst ourselves. It ain't none of his gotdamn business!'. This ? for tat ? is stupid.
I thank my lucky stars that I was smart enough not to impregnate a bird! -
mryounggun wrote: »Fam, no...just no. I usually agree with you on a lot of ? . Not this though. Bad mouthing your kid's mother is ? and counterproductive. Your issues with her and between you and her, not your daughter. Kids don't need to be in grown folks business like that.
My son is 5, meaning I have AT LEAST 13 more years of dealing with his mom. I'd like those years to continue to be peaceful and drama-free. Me bad mouthing her to our son isn't really conducive to that happening. And my ex isn't even vindictive like, but from the way you're talking...yours is. Something to think about.
Also, when kids have a ? parent, it's best to let them learn that on their own as they get older. Regardless of how YOU feel about her, your daughter still looks at it as someone talking ? about her mom, regardless of if it is true or no. ? is just bad form.I don't agree with badmouthing my ex to my kids AT ALL. It does the kids no good true or not. It makes you look spiteful. It's really not about the other parent at all, it's about the child being privy to information that honestly isn't their business. It can also make the child feel like they have to choose sides. Idgaf about sparing my ex's feelings, I just won't put my kids in the middle of our ? for any reason.
badmouthing an ex is what she was doing to me.
how you gonna tell my daughter i used to beat you?
how you gonna tell my daughter you had to call the police on me?
to sum both up.....my ex an i got into an argument one night. so after talking a bit more she said i should come over so we can talk.
i drove to he crib but she didnt answer the door so i figured she was in the bathroom. my phone died so i went to call her from a phonebooth at a gas station.
then all these cops came flying by going in her house direction.
so now im worried because i think something might have happened to my daughter.
i get into the car and go back to her house.
this ? called the cops on me an said i was trying to break into the house t beat her. they put me in cuffs but the neighbor who had came home late saw me only knock and driveaway. that the only thing that saved me from jail that night was the neighbor saying it was a lie.
some telling my daughter that was a lie is badmouthing her mother?and saying it wasnt her business will leave it up to her to draw conclusions about her ad beating her mom.
but me saying it was a lie and we can drive to get the police report is me badmouthing?
i think not -
I don't agree with badmouthing my ex to my kids AT ALL. It does the kids no good true or not. It makes you look spiteful. It's really not about the other parent at all, it's about the child being privy to information that honestly isn't their business. It can also make the child feel like they have to choose sides. Idgaf about sparing my ex's feelings, I just won't put my kids in the middle of our ? for any reason.
I agree but if withholding said information became a detriment to his image in his daughters eyes like he said then it's def understandable.
No it's not understandable. It's spite plain and simple and nobody is acting like the grownup. She bad mouthed me so I'm gonna do the same? To my child? There are ways to show your child you're not a ? other than making the other parent look worse than you.
you are missing my point. i have took the higher road since my daughter was born and this chick still aint stop. i have done all a parent and human can do.....but at some point you have to draw the line -
The original post said you took responsibility for impregnating a bird. That's badmouthing. Telling the facts of a story is different.mryounggun wrote: »Fam, no...just no. I usually agree with you on a lot of ? . Not this though. Bad mouthing your kid's mother is ? and counterproductive. Your issues with her and between you and her, not your daughter. Kids don't need to be in grown folks business like that.
My son is 5, meaning I have AT LEAST 13 more years of dealing with his mom. I'd like those years to continue to be peaceful and drama-free. Me bad mouthing her to our son isn't really conducive to that happening. And my ex isn't even vindictive like, but from the way you're talking...yours is. Something to think about.
Also, when kids have a ? parent, it's best to let them learn that on their own as they get older. Regardless of how YOU feel about her, your daughter still looks at it as someone talking ? about her mom, regardless of if it is true or no. ? is just bad form.I don't agree with badmouthing my ex to my kids AT ALL. It does the kids no good true or not. It makes you look spiteful. It's really not about the other parent at all, it's about the child being privy to information that honestly isn't their business. It can also make the child feel like they have to choose sides. Idgaf about sparing my ex's feelings, I just won't put my kids in the middle of our ? for any reason.
badmouthing an ex is what she was doing to me.
how you gonna tell my daughter i used to beat you?
how you gonna tell my daughter you had to call the police on me?
to sum both up.....my ex an i got into an argument one night. so after talking a bit more she said i should come over so we can talk.
i drove to he crib but she didnt answer the door so i figured she was in the bathroom. my phone died so i went to call her from a phonebooth at a gas station.
then all these cops came flying by going in her house direction.
so now im worried because i think something might have happened to my daughter.
i get into the car and go back to her house.
this ? called the cops on me an said i was trying to break into the house t beat her. they put me in cuffs but the neighbor who had came home late saw me only knock and driveaway. that the only thing that saved me from jail that night was the neighbor saying it was a lie.
some telling my daughter that was a lie is badmouthing her mother?and saying it wasnt her business will leave it up to her to draw conclusions about her ad beating her mom.
but me saying it was a lie and we can drive to get the police report is me badmouthing?
i think not
I hope your daughter is mature enough to process all of this.
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Good job pralims you fought back
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mryounggun wrote: »Maybe it's because my son is young, but I'm not really bad mouthing my sons mother no matter what she is saying about me. That doesn't make sense. Two wrongs don't make a right. I'd call her and be like 'Yo, whatever issues we got with one another, we need to handle amongst ourselves. It ain't none of his gotdamn business!'. This ? for tat ? is stupid.
I thank my lucky stars that I was smart enough not to impregnate a bird!
bruh...i tried. you have no idea all the ? i did and had to go thru just to be in her life.
yes, you are lucky to not have got a bird pregnant and i always commend you for that. from the things you post, even if she did say something slick you still got a good one. props to you and i have no problem saying you are a better man than me in picking them.
but trust me...bruh i tried
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mryounggun wrote: »Fam, no...just no. I usually agree with you on a lot of ? . Not this though. Bad mouthing your kid's mother is ? and counterproductive. Your issues with her and between you and her, not your daughter. Kids don't need to be in grown folks business like that.
My son is 5, meaning I have AT LEAST 13 more years of dealing with his mom. I'd like those years to continue to be peaceful and drama-free. Me bad mouthing her to our son isn't really conducive to that happening. And my ex isn't even vindictive like, but from the way you're talking...yours is. Something to think about.
Also, when kids have a ? parent, it's best to let them learn that on their own as they get older. Regardless of how YOU feel about her, your daughter still looks at it as someone talking ? about her mom, regardless of if it is true or no. ? is just bad form.I don't agree with badmouthing my ex to my kids AT ALL. It does the kids no good true or not. It makes you look spiteful. It's really not about the other parent at all, it's about the child being privy to information that honestly isn't their business. It can also make the child feel like they have to choose sides. Idgaf about sparing my ex's feelings, I just won't put my kids in the middle of our ? for any reason.
badmouthing an ex is what she was doing to me.
how you gonna tell my daughter i used to beat you?
how you gonna tell my daughter you had to call the police on me?
to sum both up.....my ex an i got into an argument one night. so after talking a bit more she said i should come over so we can talk.
i drove to he crib but she didnt answer the door so i figured she was in the bathroom. my phone died so i went to call her from a phonebooth at a gas station.
then all these cops came flying by going in her house direction.
so now im worried because i think something might have happened to my daughter.
i get into the car and go back to her house.
this ? called the cops on me an said i was trying to break into the house t beat her. they put me in cuffs but the neighbor who had came home late saw me only knock and driveaway. that the only thing that saved me from jail that night was the neighbor saying it was a lie.
some telling my daughter that was a lie is badmouthing her mother?and saying it wasnt her business will leave it up to her to draw conclusions about her ad beating her mom.
but me saying it was a lie and we can drive to get the police report is me badmouthing?
i think not
I feel u wanting to explain but if u a good parent your child will know. Once she is old enough to fully understand prolly late teenage years prolly was the best time. At the end of the day no matter how much a bird she s or u hate her she is ur daughters mother. The child is gonna believe most of what mom says and thats a ? up issue u gonna have to eat for a min. u dont wanna undermine her authority while raising her in her home and u dont wanna have the child confused/struggling feeling they have to pick sides. -
The original post said you took responsibility for impregnating a bird. That's badmouthing. Telling the facts of a story is different.mryounggun wrote: »Fam, no...just no. I usually agree with you on a lot of ? . Not this though. Bad mouthing your kid's mother is ? and counterproductive. Your issues with her and between you and her, not your daughter. Kids don't need to be in grown folks business like that.
My son is 5, meaning I have AT LEAST 13 more years of dealing with his mom. I'd like those years to continue to be peaceful and drama-free. Me bad mouthing her to our son isn't really conducive to that happening. And my ex isn't even vindictive like, but from the way you're talking...yours is. Something to think about.
Also, when kids have a ? parent, it's best to let them learn that on their own as they get older. Regardless of how YOU feel about her, your daughter still looks at it as someone talking ? about her mom, regardless of if it is true or no. ? is just bad form.I don't agree with badmouthing my ex to my kids AT ALL. It does the kids no good true or not. It makes you look spiteful. It's really not about the other parent at all, it's about the child being privy to information that honestly isn't their business. It can also make the child feel like they have to choose sides. Idgaf about sparing my ex's feelings, I just won't put my kids in the middle of our ? for any reason.
badmouthing an ex is what she was doing to me.
how you gonna tell my daughter i used to beat you?
how you gonna tell my daughter you had to call the police on me?
to sum both up.....my ex an i got into an argument one night. so after talking a bit more she said i should come over so we can talk.
i drove to he crib but she didnt answer the door so i figured she was in the bathroom. my phone died so i went to call her from a phonebooth at a gas station.
then all these cops came flying by going in her house direction.
so now im worried because i think something might have happened to my daughter.
i get into the car and go back to her house.
this ? called the cops on me an said i was trying to break into the house t beat her. they put me in cuffs but the neighbor who had came home late saw me only knock and driveaway. that the only thing that saved me from jail that night was the neighbor saying it was a lie.
some telling my daughter that was a lie is badmouthing her mother?and saying it wasnt her business will leave it up to her to draw conclusions about her ad beating her mom.
but me saying it was a lie and we can drive to get the police report is me badmouthing?
i think not
I hope your daughter is mature enough to process all of this.
really? you stuck on bird out of what you just quoted? -
mryounggun wrote: »Fam, no...just no. I usually agree with you on a lot of ? . Not this though. Bad mouthing your kid's mother is ? and counterproductive. Your issues with her and between you and her, not your daughter. Kids don't need to be in grown folks business like that.
My son is 5, meaning I have AT LEAST 13 more years of dealing with his mom. I'd like those years to continue to be peaceful and drama-free. Me bad mouthing her to our son isn't really conducive to that happening. And my ex isn't even vindictive like, but from the way you're talking...yours is. Something to think about.
Also, when kids have a ? parent, it's best to let them learn that on their own as they get older. Regardless of how YOU feel about her, your daughter still looks at it as someone talking ? about her mom, regardless of if it is true or no. ? is just bad form.I don't agree with badmouthing my ex to my kids AT ALL. It does the kids no good true or not. It makes you look spiteful. It's really not about the other parent at all, it's about the child being privy to information that honestly isn't their business. It can also make the child feel like they have to choose sides. Idgaf about sparing my ex's feelings, I just won't put my kids in the middle of our ? for any reason.
badmouthing an ex is what she was doing to me.
how you gonna tell my daughter i used to beat you?
how you gonna tell my daughter you had to call the police on me?
to sum both up.....my ex an i got into an argument one night. so after talking a bit more she said i should come over so we can talk.
i drove to he crib but she didnt answer the door so i figured she was in the bathroom. my phone died so i went to call her from a phonebooth at a gas station.
then all these cops came flying by going in her house direction.
so now im worried because i think something might have happened to my daughter.
i get into the car and go back to her house.
this ? called the cops on me an said i was trying to break into the house t beat her. they put me in cuffs but the neighbor who had came home late saw me only knock and driveaway. that the only thing that saved me from jail that night was the neighbor saying it was a lie.
some telling my daughter that was a lie is badmouthing her mother?and saying it wasnt her business will leave it up to her to draw conclusions about her ad beating her mom.
but me saying it was a lie and we can drive to get the police report is me badmouthing?
i think not
damn... thats ? up cuz -
So again, how old is your seed, my G? Also, I personally would have just told my daughter, 'Baby, sometimes your mom doesn't really tell the whole story. But I would never beat a woman. When you get a little older, we'll talk about it.'.
Simple.
.
