What to do when your s/o lets themselves go?
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Ioniz3dSPIRITZ
Members Posts: 3,985 ✭✭✭✭✭
Do you encourage them, ridicule them, or drop them. I've been seeing this girl for almost 2 years now. And I've been seeing her gradually let her appearance go. She no longer even attempts to make herself even look remotely attractive to me. Her hair is never done. And even though I prefer it natural, she doesn't do anything with it. She's continually eating unhealthy ? like cookies and pop. I try to eat healthy around her, thinking it will have an effect but it never does.
She doesn't like to workout at the gym and when we do go she'll hardly workout.
She spend most of her time napping. She only works two days out the week (midnights) but is constantly tired. She exhibits absolutely no enthusiasm when it comes to self improvement.
She gets angry because I almost never initiate sex. But her overall energy and appearance is becoming a huge turnoff.
I often find that her energy (or lack there of) influences me in a negative way also.
The thing is, is that I'm really in a serious relationship with her. But her attitude is slowly putting me off. Have you fellas ever dealt with a women like this? What did you end up doing?
She doesn't like to workout at the gym and when we do go she'll hardly workout.
She spend most of her time napping. She only works two days out the week (midnights) but is constantly tired. She exhibits absolutely no enthusiasm when it comes to self improvement.
She gets angry because I almost never initiate sex. But her overall energy and appearance is becoming a huge turnoff.
I often find that her energy (or lack there of) influences me in a negative way also.
The thing is, is that I'm really in a serious relationship with her. But her attitude is slowly putting me off. Have you fellas ever dealt with a women like this? What did you end up doing?
Comments
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Tell her that....
If you scared do a "So my friend is having a problem.." Type thing. ? love ridiculing other ? . -
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She probably think you won't ever leave her.
Well, now its time to cancel that B*&&^ -
Angel:
Maybe she's hitting a rough patch and needs you to be there
Maybe she's depressed
Stick by her G. It'll make you a better man.
Do you love her unconditionally?
Demon:
Don't let people tell you she depressed.
She ain't putting in the effort because she's complacent and think you won't ever leave she taking you for granted.
Never make the next persons problems about themselves into your responsibilities.
Any attempt you make at trying to improve her = something wrong with you for not loving her spas she is.
Go ? another ? . The grass may not be greener but a stroll through another fresh lawn might be refreshing.
......unless you love her unconditionally....sucker. If y'all broke up, would she get right....for him? -
leftcoastkev wrote: »
Angel:
Maybe she's hitting a rough patch and needs you to be there
Maybe she's depressed
Stick by her G. It'll make you a better man.
Do you love her unconditionally?
Demon:
Don't let people tell you she depressed.
She ain't putting in the effort because she's complacent and think you won't ever leave she taking you for granted.
Never make the next persons problems about themselves into your responsibilities.
Any attempt you make at trying to improve her = something wrong with you for not loving her spas she is.
Go ? another ? . The grass may not be greener but a stroll through another fresh lawn might be refreshing.
......unless you love her unconditionally....sucker.
I never thought of it like that. Hard to imagine that she'd be taking me for granted considering her past relationships.
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All you can do is sit down and talk with your s/o. Just share how you feel.
DO NOT threaten a person or offer ultimatums when they aren't living according to your standards, it will never work in the long run and will only cause resentment and rebellion.
You have to allow a person to live their life as they see fit, and if the issue is serious enough you need to allow yourself to move into a better situation. If they care enough about you to see how it is effecting you they will make changes to correct the behavior.
If you love them you will at least grant them the luxury of being an individual, whether it is with you or not. -
And even though I prefer it natural, she doesn't do anything with it
LOL the irony had me laugh. Prefers natural, doesn't want it looking natural.
I thought of this track though reading this thread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmk7BRAiVuM -
Ayo be like "bae watch this porn with me let's get freaky" and it be an in shape ass natural ? .... She go feel some type of way.
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Speaking from experience btw.
6 years in, and we are still working on some issues from day one.
So i've tried it all.
Compromise is the key, small progress might be insignificant to you but it might well be everything she can give you. Always acknowledge it. -
ShiveDreadz wrote: »All you can do is sit down and talk with your s/o. Just share how you feel.
DO NOT threaten a person or offer ultimatums when they aren't living according to your standards, it will never work in the long run and will only cause resentment and rebellion.
You have to allow a person to live their life as they see fit, and if the issue is serious enough you need to allow yourself to move into a better situation. If they care enough about you to see how it is effecting you they will make changes to correct the behavior.
If you love them you will at least grant them the luxury of being an individual, whether it is with you or not.
This is really good advice. I've expressed to her how I've felt and dont seem to care anymore. So I'm just like ? it. I'm going to continue on keeping myself up regardless of what she does. Hopefully my lifestyle will encourage her to make the change. I see now that I can't force her to be anything she isn't. It has to come to her. -
Hate it or love it but Im blunt as ? , if my shorty's falling off , I let it be known...
Be on her ass like Martin...
There's not gon be ? but frozen broccoli pops and v8 juice in the fridge. -
Ayo be like "bae watch this porn with me let's get freaky" and it be an in shape ass natural ? .... She go feel some type of way.
she should feel some type of way when we hit the gym and see chicks in there doing their thing. -
stop ? her..
when she be like "is there somethin wrong?" and she will ask...
thats when u hit her with it..
dont jus come out and say it..
shes gonna take it as u attackin her and get on the defensive... -
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Ayo be like "bae watch this porn with me let's get freaky" and it be an in shape ass natural ? .... She go feel some type of way.
This ^^
Or save a bunch of bad ? on your phone from illpix and browse through it in front of her to make her feel insecure.
Constantly talk to her about how you're eating healthy and trying to stay in shape.
When she tells you what she's eating, give her the stank face.
Works with wifey. -
Ioniz3dSPIRITZ wrote: »
One time I left for a work trip and my girl who lived with me found a DVD case to this porno movie that i purchased at a video liquidation sale. It was called BIG BREASTED B*TCHES! and every chick on the DVD cover case had large voluptuious breast.
My girl, at the time, had petite breast ... and boy... was... she... salty .... after she found it. lol
In the days to come .... I see her using some sort of breast enhancement ointments ....
them sh*ts aint work ... But she would ask me like
- "is it working ?!--I think its working--is it working Shuff ?"
-" oh yeah ... they getting biggggger " lying my ass off.
moral of the story ... just start beating off to women that you find attractive and leave the evidence all over the place.
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Dont resort to sassy female ? to try to get under someones skin.
Say and live what you mean like a man, and if she isn't down with that step like a man. -
Do shegot dat ass?
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Ioniz3dSPIRITZ wrote: »
No, there's a difference. she can lie to herself about you not being attracted to them... When it directly has something to do with you being turned on it will give a different effect. This is dangerous tho.
That being said, she has symptoms of depression. -
Ayo be like "bae watch this porn with me let's get freaky" and it be an in shape ass natural ? .... She go feel some type of way.
Nah ? that, all that fat blocks their ability to take hints
You gotta grab her by her stomach fat and take a lil pinch and playfully be like 'oooh whats this!?'. Never fails. -
BOSSExcellence wrote: »stop ? her..
when she be like "is there somethin wrong?" and she will ask...
thats when u hit her with it..
dont jus come out and say it..
shes gonna take it as u attackin her and get on the defensive...
You telling this ? to tell a woman he isn't sexually attracted to her????
recipe for slow burning resentment.
Good luck with that -
Lol...
Yall so destructive! -
That's a hint.Ayo be like "bae watch this porn with me let's get freaky" and it be an in shape ass natural ? .... She go feel some type of way.
Nah ? that, all that fat blocks their ability to take hints
You gotta grab her by her stomach fat and take a lil pinch and playfully be like 'oooh whats this!?'. Never fails.
Some of yall really think negative reinforcement works... Maybe it does on the surface, but this is where side ? are formed
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BOSSExcellence wrote: »stop ? her..
when she be like "is there somethin wrong?" and she will ask...
thats when u hit her with it..
dont jus come out and say it..
shes gonna take it as u attackin her and get on the defensive...
You telling this ? to tell a woman he isn't sexually attracted to her????
recipe for slow burning resentment.
Good luck with that
And women wouldn't do the same thing if their man was getting severely out of shape? -
BOSSExcellence wrote: »stop ? her..
when she be like "is there somethin wrong?" and she will ask...
thats when u hit her with it..
dont jus come out and say it..
shes gonna take it as u attackin her and get on the defensive...
You telling this ? to tell a woman he isn't sexually attracted to her????
recipe for slow burning resentment.
Good luck with that
no.. not at all..
im sayin to say somethin is wrong and u jus not feelin "it"..
im sexually attracted to a ? amd she ? me off or whatever we aint ? ..
? do it all the time..
role reversal.. im sure on top of her lettin herself go her attitude has shifted as well..
he can go on a diatribe listin all the ? she puttin him thru if he so feels..it jus opens the gateway for dialogue..
whats her incentive to change if she ? whenever she wants?? and he aint gotta worry about her goin outsode their relationship.. who go wamt her fat ass?? lol
http://youtu.be/XzyjlRKrsTI
