Purr Members Posts: 32,382 ✭✭✭✭✭

Hello, Kween

I greet you today with mercy in mind. As it is written in The Good Book Blessed be the merciful for they shall obtain mercy. I come to you today to offer you the gift of mercy, this is a gift that no one has ever received from me on the IC before. You're being offered complete absolution from your sins without even having to confess them.

This is a contract offering that I am making to you. What I want from this is only one thing, for you to relinquish any and all legal/tort claims you feel you may have against me.

In exchange for this I am willing to do the following:

Firstly, I will cease posting on the IC.

I will destroy the evidence i have against you that would be damaging to your reputation.

I will destroy all personal information that I currently have against you, I will not give any personal information of yours to third parties, I will not for any reason look for, or guide anyone in the direction of your personal information.

I will make an agreement with those that already are in possession of the damaging evidence against you to make sure this is never posted or distributed amongst anyone else.

I will give you a public apology for all that has transpired against you in the past week.

I will also consider myself to be indebted to you, which means if at any time for any reason you need my "special skills" I will do my best to help you in whatever way possible to accomplish your goals.

Madam, this is one hell of a deal for you to have, as you win when you have about 0% chance of winning in an actual court of law.

Let's end this, yo.

This offer is on the table till 8:00 pm EDT April 12th 2015

Terms are negotiable as well. Let's work out an agreement.


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