Half on the bills or It's all on him....
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yellowtapesport wrote: »the dukester wrote: »I would actually volunteer to pay all the bills.
It's a strategy that has served me well in the past. Let me explain. When you pay all the bills, you not only "pay the cost to be the boss", you get at a minimum 3-4 ? ups (ie. cheat passes) when you get sloppy with your game.
Plus you get a clean crib, home-cooked meals, sloppy toppy when playing PS4 (? ain't doing nothing else) and you get to have a legitimate excuse for being "gone all the time" (? I'm at work.....Cause I'm the only one WORKING).
Plus her friends constantly tell her "girl, you got a good man." In my opinion, the upsides, far outweigh the downsides.
This....butBest way to keep a woman happy is to make sure she feels needed....
As long as she feels her contribution to the house hold bills are absolutely essential, her self worth will soar...
The quickest way to make her feel like you don't need her is to set it up to where her money isn't needed,
A woman is much more likely to seek outside the relationship when she feels unneeded
THIS makes more sense the older and more experienced i get
ever wonder why chicks ride so hard for ? ass ? ?
they have that nurturing need, they have to take care of somebody, they have to feel needed..
now your woman ain't gotta kick out so much that she taking care of you in that sense, but you absolutely have to make sure she contributes enough so that her need to feel needed is met.....
? 's a balance....look at ? in casino...ace gave her everything, he didn't need her for ? ..... but she went back to the ? that needed her money cuz she felt like they were more of a team.... -
@DWO The thing is that it doesn't have to be financial. Women feeling needed in pretty much any way is key to most of their self-esteems. I think this is prolly the reason that some of my past relationships didn't work out. There is nothing that I actually NEED from a s/o and I refuse to play that 'Let me make her feel needed.' game.
? is childish to me.
If I ? with you, it's because I love you and you ENRICH my life. Not because I need you in any way. I feel like that's how relationships should be but it rubs most women the wrong way. -
the thread is about bills.....so i applied the logic to bills....however that doesn't take away from the very important part of needing someone.....
but bruh, your woman has to feel needed...there's no getting around that
if you feel like you don't have a need for her....then you're absolutely right that's why your relationships didn't work out....that ? 's essential.. yall have to need eachother
nobody is going to stay anywhere for long where they're not needed.....it's just basic social interactions
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the thread is about bills.....so i applied the logic to bills....however that doesn't take away from the very important part of needing someone.....
but bruh, your woman has to feel needed...there's no getting around that
if you feel like you don't have a need for her....then you're absolutely right that's why your relationships didn't work out....that ? 's essential.. yall have to need eachother
nobody is going to stay anywhere for long where they're not needed.....it's just basic social interactions
Couple questions.
1. What specifically do you need your wife for?
2. Where does maturity playa role in all this? To me it seems extremely immature to be only want to be with someone if they actually NEED you for something. That's dangerous to me. I need my woman to be a fully-formed, fully functional, autonomous person before I ever come along. -
@DWO And to clarify, I don't mean what stuff do you make her FEEL like you need her for, like you mentioned in your orbital post. I mean what do you ACTUALLY need her for.
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it's a difficult thing to explain to someone who's never had someone that close to them.....
there's a certain kind a understanding, support, and warmth that comes with the right companion that you never even noticed existed before....
i was always self motivated, and very independent on my own.... but once you really allow someone in.....everything changes..
my wife keeps me honest as ? .....theres so much more i care about that i wouldn't give a ? about had it not been for her....i'm way more sensitive and passionate than i ever could have imagined.....
i'd be a cold bastard if she ever died or we parted for any reason.....
it's very difficult to explain, but i absolutely need her...i can't imagine how foul i'd be if she was taken from me...
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two of the most unstable and awkward men to be around...
a recent widower or a man going through a divorce.....
? ain't cool at all...... -
also it's ironic that you use the word maturity, because the person who feels they're so dependent that they don't need anybody for anything, is often the most immature....
some of the most emotionally damaged and unbalanced people I've personally interacted with are those who for whatever specific reasons, can't keep a relationship for the life of them....
ultimately i guess it's all about balance...it's tuff to list specifics, because each relationship is different, but it's all about balance. for me i need that companionship, i need that person to understand me, i need that person in my corner to keep me focused on what it's all for....
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@DWO Yeah,I just realized that we we're talking about 2 totally separate things. When I say I don't need my woman, I mean that before she came along, I had a full, enriched life. There was nothing missing. And if - ? forbid - we wen't our separate ways...things my life would still be full and enriched. That's what I mean by NEED.
Seems like you're talking about something else.
Agree? -
Yall ? sound like the lil devil on one shoulder arguing with the angel on the other..
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Need can be a lot of things, but ultimately comes down to no one will stay where they're not needed
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Lol. So no answer. Got it. Agree to disagree.
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yellowtapesport wrote: »Yall ? sound like the lil devil on one shoulder arguing with the angel on the other..
Yeah that's usually what it sounds like when two ? are having a rational conversation on the IC. -
We split rent and we can divide the bills. I would never live with a man who would pay all the rent. I would feel some type of way. Hell we get into a fight and I can see him throwing that in my face like "I can leave my shoes anywhere, you know what this is my house, I pay the damn rent, I do what I want." Even worse, the ? could kick you out at 4am in the morning. Smh
Groceries/food, I would expect both to contribute but I prefer to buy my own groceries. -
Joint account.
*drops mic* -
Actually, I volunteer to pay all the bills in my crib. It gives me more "wiggle room" for fuckups, ie, getting caught cheating, potentially losing my job, or other miscellaneous ? .
Plus it validates my manhood as the protector and PROVIDER. It's a real life scenario that I imagined as a little boy, that has come to fruition. So whenever I cheat, I don't feel as guilty, because I know I'm holding the fort down and I feel somewhat justified. Kinda like I've EARNED the right to get some outside trim by way of being a great financial provider.
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Best way to keep a woman happy is to make sure she feels needed....
As long as she feels her contribution to the house hold bills are absolutely essential, her self worth will soar...
The quickest way to make her feel like you don't need her is to set it up to where her money isn't needed,
A woman is much more likely to seek outside the relationship when she feels unneeded
I don't know if it's so much about feeling needed as it is feeling like it gives you a say in what goes on in the relationship. When men are paying everything and the sole provider, they tend to want to act like their word is gospel and you have no say in anything.
You can feel needed in providing other things like keeping his home, his children, feeding him, being his unpaid secretary..but it's when you're contributing financially that it feels like your say holds some weight.
That said, we would just work it out. He usually paid the rent and I would take care of the monthly bills, but we would step up and help each other when unforeseen issues would come up..car needing work, something breaking and needing replacement, etc. -
the dukester wrote: »Actually, I volunteer to pay all the bills in my crib. It gives me more "wiggle room" for fuckups, ie, getting caught cheating, potentially losing my job, or other miscellaneous ? .
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^^ Exhibit A..smh. -
I prefer to either pay my portion or more, in everything, not just a relationship. I don't like to incur ill will directly or indirectly.
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BackInWhite wrote: »You in a committed relationship
Y'all decide to move in together
Y'all goin Dutch on the bills or should the man take care of all that?
Men, women, wassup?
Never move in with a chick until she has on that ring. So many mfer in some BS because of this. Cant kick the ? out because you stuck with the bills or you dont feel like going thru the moving process.
Then you still have people that are married and going Dutch with two separate accts. WE are married. Bills get paid first with both of our money. You need to learn some restraint if I cant trust you with money.
I'm in this very predicament right the ? now
I done felt like leaving so many times but it's like
The furniture mine, I'd have to take that ?
Then I got clothes and ?
The lights in my name
Hell we got 2 phones in my name at t-mobile
? we gon break up and meet up every month to pay the bill?
I might as well marry this ? -
Joint account.
*drops mic*
I can't do it
She got 1 time to spend my money on some ? I can't do nothing with and that's it
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50/50 until married.
Anything else is madness -
Best way to keep a woman happy is to make sure she feels needed....
As long as she feels her contribution to the house hold bills are absolutely essential, her self worth will soar...
The quickest way to make her feel like you don't need her is to set it up to where her money isn't needed,
A woman is much more likely to seek outside the relationship when she feels unneeded
i thought women would rather keep their money but want to feel needed in other ways.
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mryounggun wrote: »We split everything down the middle in my crib. Except cable. I don't want that ? so I ain't paying for it.
Other than that though, 50/50.
In my experience, most people only want to abide by traditional gender roles when it benefits them.
aaahhhhhaaaaa -
She pay half the rent, I pay everything else. Utilities, groceries, car stuff, cars, gym, vacations. She can have her bread. I make enough, I ain't trippin. Every relationship got roles to fill. They don't have to be traditional all like that, she makes her own money, but she also rules the house like it's her domain. She does most of the cooking, and most of the cleaning. But I do my part too. I also handle the big moves, like savings, retirement for her, who we bank with, loans and stuff like that. I show her a lot of what I do so she can have an idea just incase, and vice versa, we work well together.
The one thing I'll always make sure I do, is no matter how vicious the argument may get, no matter how deep the dispute. I'll never throw me providing in her face. That's a super no no, and some sucka ? if you ask me.
