For Nikki- 1 Year Later

REAL_POETICAL

I'm tarnished into believing that we were better off
but its a lost i'm winning and able to take
I forsake you to keep my sanity
constant trips to jane, judy, and jessica
while you wondering why i get off early
on the phone you are alone
while i done my dirt
so i had to leave to receive a breakthrough
too bad the harsh reality is that i can't live with you smiling
while another is on top
rubbing my could be son's head and kicking the ball
how could i be so cruel and selfish
to let you go in order to get a miracle
when in reality miracles are just fairy tales
and you and I know we hate them
I could have took the chance but the chance is far gone
imagine me being with you living with the secret
that I was married and I was engaged
and I was laying next to somebody that's not you
it would cause friction and pain
sadness and etc
don't you see its better but the better we see
it causes friction into the heart and it makes us teary
eyed to the prize that we hold so dearly
you want to leave the city life to avoid invisible me
while I want to stop dreaming about you kissing me
how come love comes at a 2 way street
got me cursing the good book
on how a marriage should be
she don't do the things like you use to
but I come adaptive to this new woman
even though holding her feels so good
holding you is something I never achieve
you want that don't you sweety
remember them days of me neglecting you
disrespecting you
? somebody else while you was curious to why
the alibi was i'm not perfect
working and going to school
dealing with the fools and the taste of being a casanova
this is the alibi of a lustful man deciding to change for the sake of spirit
but it comes to a cost...losing them nights of holding your hand
playing in ya locks
and talking about trips to canada
I was inspired by Philly is Finished from your verbal hatred to the city
I made ? BET for the sake of your reading the non script no nonsense truth
i build my reputation of being a swaggerful marvelous individual
because you believe in me
I made you not naive to the beat of a fellas feet
showed you love different from a corner store treat
jamiroquai space cowboy and corners of the earth on repeat
we were king and queen of these litter filled streets
the moment you showed me the letter saying what you want
and why should I bother
made me realize I gotta tell you the truth
the realness in this poem while deniece williams sing if you don't believe
at the 6 min part where the trumpet moves
I groove to the invisible black that touches my lips



......for a second sweety sit in the audience
in front where no ones there
you the only one
i'm sitting near the piano with a black suit
a smile to share
I pour my honesty to the poem that you don't even dare read
you want answers...i proceed
I'm a cheater
a loser when you knew me
barely kept sane
believe that ? is in vain
drain from any hope of being accepted in society
I met the wife to be and we love each other like tomorrow
while our love was yesterday
the ? is in my mouth today
remember when I use to taste
and embrace
while your heart race...freaks we were
but them days are gone
so gone...so gone...away
just let me say this....you were the most beautiful....amazing person i ever knew
gave me a way out of hatred toward woman
especially when my grandmother died
you gave me a reason not to jump
I love you.....I truly love every bit of you
if i could change my ways I would in November 2008 when I escape
don't mean to put my business out there but this is the only way i can sleep at night
i can daydream that you exist in my life for the temporary relief
so you can leave....for this is the last poem you will receive
the last time I breath your name and utter the memories
for I'm just a mere image in the words
look again for i'm gone and you are the only being in the audience

Tupacfan

Dam Real P,

This was ill, despite the circumstances of the situation described. I'm sure Nikki could appreciate this last piece and defintely respect the honesty.

Thanks for sharing as always.. I love reading your material.. We need VSOP back up in this joint and so as J.

REAL_POETICAL

thanks for the props and no doubt i wish vsop and j was in this piece...bring back that family feel which seems lacking on this side of town...regardless dope poetry is still being done and passion is being displayed...once again thanks for the props:cool: