To the Ladies who believe that the man is the head of the household....
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Suck Me Beautiful
Members Posts: 878
If your man decided that he wanted to completly control you all's finances, I.E. his and your paychecks, would you let him?
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Um no.
1234567 -
why does anyone one person need absolute control over anything in a relationship? most situations i've seen, men usually leave all the bill payin, money managing to their woman
So, if thats true (which is how i let my wife do), would it be a something a woman would let a man do?
IF not, why not? -
No. We both made the money, we'll both sit down and figure out how to spend it.
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No comment on yo thread , B.
But that ? SN ,Suck Me Beautiful , Stiffler from American Pie? ? , that sound like some ? , I'd think of....... Suck Me Beautiful haaaaaaa... good ? , B. -
DEE-LICIOUS wrote: »No. We both made the money, we'll both sit down and figure out how to spend it.
DEE you don't want no dude, you on them book's.. and that's wassup, I'm supposed to be taking my Charcoal ass back to Chicago St.., in January -
whoever is the best with finance should control the budget and pay the bills...the man should always lead in a relationship tho
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DEE you don't want no dude, you on them book's.. and that's wassup, I'm supposed to be taking my Charcoal ass back to Chicago St.., in January
lmao u know way too much about me man -
why does anyone one person need absolute control over anything in a relationship? most situations i've seen, men usually leave all the bill payin, money managing to their woman
You dont answer a question with a question. But if the man felt he was better with money then his woman was that would be one reason he'd want complete control over the finances. -
honestly if my husband wanted to pay all the bills and budget and stay on top of that ? , he's more than welcome to. we both do well enough, and as long as he has his money to spend, he's good, payin bills is the last thing he wants to spend his time doing. we share an account and both use it freely tho.
So if your husband decided that you should no longer have free access to you alls shared account because he didn’t approve of your spending habits you’d be cool with that? Even if it was both of you alls money being directly deposited into it? -
No comment on yo thread , B.
But that ? SN ,Suck Me Beautiful , Stiffler from American Pie? ? , that sound like some ? , I'd think of....... Suck Me Beautiful haaaaaaa... good ? , B.
lol
good lookin homie -
DEE-LICIOUS wrote: »No. We both made the money, we'll both sit down and figure out how to spend it.
and you consider the man the head of the household? -
Women kinda like having thier cake and eating it too.
We been over this. -
Hell no. I work in finance, but even I would not want to control everything and dictate him. I believe in a lot of traditional gender roles, so I would submit to my man in many ways but never give him total control like that, sorry no.
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Suck Me Beautiful wrote: »So if your husband decided that you should no longer have free access to you alls shared account because he didn’t approve of your spending habits you’d be cool with that? Even if it was both of you alls money being directly deposited into it?
this changes your original question.. i dont have a problem with my husband managing the finances however he can't "control" everything. Of course, I'll check with him before making big purchases but that goes both ways. -
Hmmm.. Actually Hell No!
I work to hard for anyone to control what I do with my money, let alone me.. He can do whatever he wants with his money, I can do whatever I want with mines, but when it comes to paying bills and priorities we definitly go half and agree on a respectful and trusting level on other finanical obligations. But I probably be taking care of his money, its what I do for a living, take care of people's finance and create their investment portfolios. So go figure
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inlovewithe wrote: »this changes your original question.. i dont have a problem with my husband managing the finances however he can't "control" everything. Of course, I'll check with him before making big purchases but that goes both ways.
how do you figure that changes my original question? -
he wouldn't disapprove of my spending habits, cuz i'm more frugal than he is. but no i wouldn't be cool wit that. the underlying issue is a trust one, not about the money. spending beyond our means would be selfish and irresponsible on my part. some people really have issues with money and need therapy i think. if money means more than a tool to u, then there's a problem. some people use money as a drug the way others use food.
a partner that is being irresponsible wit money needs help to realize the error of their ways, denying them access won't do that. if anything it will make them sneakier or just shut down. how a person is with money is something that should be looked at before considering a serious relationship
rhetoric
"spending beyond our means would be selfish and irresponsible on my part" Deciding what is beyond a couples means is a relative assessment. Meaning, you may think there is no harm in your purchases he may see it differently. If the man is truly the head of the household, even tho you disagree with his assessment of your spending you will still submit to his judgment. So would you submit to his judgment, yes or no? -
Suck Me Beautiful wrote: »If your man decided that he wanted to completly control you all's finances, I.E. his and your paychecks, would you let him?
It's not really control. Control would be the husband or boyfriend being free to spend and do what he wants with everyone's money. Which just isn't the case in a marriage. I'm married and I manage mine and my wife's finances. But I wouldn't call it controlling. I'm responsible for making sure the bills are paid on time, and all of our accounts are in order. But she has unlimited access to any account, not one penny is brought into this house without her knowing about it, nor is any money going out without her knowing about it because she shows me the same respect. Everyone will have an impulse buy every now and again so we even budget out our money so we can indulge a little bit and not tap into bill money. If she made a purchase that I felt was unnecessary I will let her know, and the same goes for me. If you're asking about control on the level to where a woman would have to ask her man for permission to even have money on her, I highly doubt any woman would be cool with that. -
It's not really control. Control would be the husband or boyfriend being free to spend and do what he wants with everyone's money. Which just isn't the case in a marriage. I'm married and I manage mine and my wife's finances. But I wouldn't call it controlling. I'm responsible for making sure the bills are paid on time, and all of our accounts are in order. But she has unlimited access to any account, not one penny is brought into this house without her knowing about it, nor is any money going out without her knowing about it because she shows me the same respect. Everyone will have an impulse buy every now and again so we even budget out our money so we can indulge a little bit and not tap into bill money. If she made a purchase that I felt was unnecessary I will let her know, and the same goes for me. If you're asking about control on the level to where a woman would have to ask her man for permission to even have money on her, I highly doubt any woman would be cool with that.
this......... -
if my man came to me and had a problem wit my spending, i'd def listen and be open to what he said. but like i said, i'm more frugal than him. once the bills are paid we both spend our money how we want. many times he's come to me and said we need to save for this and vice versa. for example, after we got married, it was our plan to buy (outright) our house in the next year. we both agreed we'd completely cut back on spending and save as much as possible. we both were on the same page and stuck to the plan. that's what i think being a team entails.
that doesnt look like "yes or no".
Anyways, the important part to the thread was "who believe their man is the head of the household". If you dont consider your man the head of the household then the responses in this thread are understanable. But if you do believe he's the head of the household and you still respond like this, you're lying to yourself and him. -
.... Control would be the husband or boyfriend being free to spend and do what he wants with everyone's money. .
did i say he wasnt? -
Absolutely not.
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Iheart~Cali wrote: »Um no.
1234567
Don't you want to be a housewife?
Should you really have a say in how money gets spent that you don't earn?
Or is your answer based on the idea that you'll have a job/career/whatever? -
i said yes, i thought that was clear. ne way, since when does him being head of the household mean i have no say or opinion? he's the head of the household, not the dictator. what you're speaking of i think is more of a father/daughter relationship, not a husband/wife one
Ill step by step it so you can point out where you disagree
Head of household=king
Wife=queen
King=supreme authority
Supreme authority=has final say on everything in his jurisdiction….I.E. his household
Sample conversation:
Husband: Honey, I think its best for me to handle all our finances from now on. So whatever purchases you want to make just run them by me first and ill let you know. Ok?
Wife: what?
*insert hour worth of words disagreeing with husband*
Husband: Yea, I hear what you’re saying but I still want to give this a go, I feel this is best for us.
……………
Now if this dude is the king of his household that’s the end of it. -
This isn't a relationship. She's not his employee.Suck Me Beautiful wrote: »Ill step by step it so you can point out where you disagree
Head of household=king
Wife=queen
King=supreme authority
Supreme authority=has final say on everything in his jurisdiction….I.E. his household
Sample conversation:
Husband: Honey, I think its best for me to handle all our finances from now on. So whatever purchases you want to make just run them by me first and ill let you know. Ok?
Wife: what?
*insert hour worth of words disagreeing with husband*
Husband: Yea, I hear what you’re saying but I still want to give this a go, I feel this is best for us.
……………
Now if this dude is the king of his household that’s the end of it.
Are you religious?
