Is There Anyway To Avoid Child Support
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? yourself.
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An another thing whats da point of me signing the birth certificate if i can only get legal rights to him through court? What in gods name type of backwards ? is this
Bruh.........DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING........until you get a dna/paternity test that proves you're the father.
Otherwise, you could end up paying child support for a kid that isn't even yours.
Something seems off about the way your babymama's moving.
I mean, for most chicks like that child support would be the first thing on her mind.
But she doesn't even seem to be stressing over it.........at all.
It's almost as if she knows the dude she's been cheating with is the baby's real father and that the......"we".....she was talking about when she said "we don't need your money" was her and him; not her and the baby.
She's trying to avoid all contact with you because she doesn't want to deal with all the stress and drama of you finding out the kid isn't yours. -
1. Dont give her cash. Check or money order only. If she got a problem with that then save the money. Open an accound just for that and keep record of deposit.
2. If you dont want to pay support the only thing you can do is get physical cusotdy. Thats gone cost and will be an uphill battle. You're going to have to prove shes unfit.
not true -
mryounggun wrote: »First off we need full story
2nd shes a bird that wants a prison BF
3....get 50/50 custody so u dont have to pay $$$?
^^^^I'm thinking pretty similar ? . But I'll leave that ? alone. Got one serious question, though.
Have you actually tried talking to her and working out joint 50/50 custody with her?
Overtime this kind of ? is brought up on the IC, it seems like when the breakup happens, it's automatically assumed without any discussion that the kid is going to be with mom and dad will have weekends or visitation or whatever the ? . And I never really understand why that's the default.
Me and my son's mom literally never had a conversation at all about custody when we broke up. She already knew it was gonna be 50/50 and so did I. Only thing we had to talk about was the actual logistics. I feel like ANYTIME two people break up, 50/50 should be the default. Ideally, that removes the need for any sort of support from either side.
So have you tried to arrange that with her? If so, what was the outcome?
you stay outta this......ole good situation ass ? -
Wassup y'all ain't made a thread in a while ain't been on in a while to. Anyway i been dealing with ? in life and well i might as well talk abt it.
Anyway me and my bm are no longer together. We broke up in March and she left me for another dude. But im not going to get into that messy business, this is more so focused on my kid. I'm in his life and want to continue to do so but things have become strained between me and my bm. (While her current bf was locked up me and her started fckin again which ended in disaster but thats for another story)
Any who seeing my kid has become difficult starting as of Saturday. She took my son to her boyfriends house (she had been taking my kid over there without telling me when i didn't even know she had a ? , she was seein me and him i found out we got into it she left me for him) but anyway i was suppoused to get my son Saturday night cuz she tells me she's coming home that night. So i pull up to her mama crib and told her momma what she said, her momma tell me my bm told her she was coming home sunday......so i hit her line multiple times getting no answer and around 10pm she jst straight up turns her phone off. Now she know i had plans for me and my son sunday this ? don't turn her phone bck on till 4pm sunday and don't come home till 9pm that night.
She i go to spazzin and she all like "i aint have no way bck blah blah blah"....(why da hell she at his house with no way bck anyway df)
But anyway yesterday i was thinkin bout filing for joint custody which requires a dna test....which means they automatically gonna put me on Child Support maaaaan i aint tryin to pay dis ? ass ? no 300 or 400 a month when i jst wanna be in my kid life. Ain't child support suppoused to be for dead beat dads not ? who got a trifflin bm. Im jst wondering have any of yall had this experience, know somebody who going through this, and if theres a way i can get joint custody of my son without getting put on child support cuz she don't got a job so im the one getting my kid his ? anyway.
first off dont hesitate. ? , why you hesitating?
if you want your child go for it. aint got time to be debating the what ifs. everyday that passes is another day your child sees this ? and this ? might be feed you child oatmeal off a ? spoon.
2. have a paper trail for everything
3. why joint custody and not full? you may still have to pay support.
4. you dont have to prove shes unfit. you have to prove you have the childs best interest in mind,.
4a. you have to understand why you want your child. if its about not paying support then you doing it for the wrong reason. and judges can see right thru that and make your life harder for loving money over your child.
fukk the money. you had the child so money is not an issue anymore. if you get full custody, kids cost a ? grip. if you get joint custody...you still have to pay support. if you get joint legal, you may still have to pay support but only consult and agree on any decision for the child...so many different custody types...only way you not paying support is with physical or sole custody..in which it will all fall onto your shoulders an then you will be the one needing to file for support.
but i will say this. and maybe alot will disagree with me. but if shes being toxic and hiding the child you need to show that you can be the bigger parent but if you need to cut her out of your childs life. kids have no room for toxic people. especially in this era. your mind should be focused on your child....fukk the mother, fukk the ? she with and fukk the money.
get your life together, prove you can be the better parent and make your child an asset to society. use crime stats, education stats and you might even have to ? on your own people to do it. but use the system to your advantage. if she doesnt allow visitation that count mandated...get the cops involved. keep your composure. allow her to blow up. ? , say lil ? to set her off.
but first you need to be sure you want your child vs not wanting to pay money. -
MoneyPowerRespect wrote: »Well...as a mom, if I'm tryna lay up, I'm tryna be kid free too. Don't know why chics like playing house with a ? that's not the daddy but to answer your question...
In TN, child support and visitation are two separate things. Ask the clerk in your city.
-keep receipts. Anything bought can be classified as a 'gift'.
-log how much you do/don't see your child.
its not about how much you see the child.
its if the other parent is stopping you from seeing the child.
word it as "the other parent is stopping you from creating a parental bond and not encouraging a two parent system." -
mryounggun wrote: »First off we need full story
2nd shes a bird that wants a prison BF
3....get 50/50 custody so u dont have to pay $$$?
^^^^I'm thinking pretty similar ? . But I'll leave that ? alone. Got one serious question, though.
Have you actually tried talking to her and working out joint 50/50 custody with her?
Overtime this kind of ? is brought up on the IC, it seems like when the breakup happens, it's automatically assumed without any discussion that the kid is going to be with mom and dad will have weekends or visitation or whatever the ? . And I never really understand why that's the default.
Me and my son's mom literally never had a conversation at all about custody when we broke up. She already knew it was gonna be 50/50 and so did I. Only thing we had to talk about was the actual logistics. I feel like ANYTIME two people break up, 50/50 should be the default. Ideally, that removes the need for any sort of support from either side.
So have you tried to arrange that with her? If so, what was the outcome?
My parents and her parents worked out the schedule cuz anytime me and her talk it breaks down into a argument. Her parents already know she fckin up and she already got a defacs case against her. ? is truely a up hill battle with this girl -
mryounggun wrote: »First off we need full story
2nd shes a bird that wants a prison BF
3....get 50/50 custody so u dont have to pay $$$?
^^^^I'm thinking pretty similar ? . But I'll leave that ? alone. Got one serious question, though.
Have you actually tried talking to her and working out joint 50/50 custody with her?
Overtime this kind of ? is brought up on the IC, it seems like when the breakup happens, it's automatically assumed without any discussion that the kid is going to be with mom and dad will have weekends or visitation or whatever the ? . And I never really understand why that's the default.
Me and my son's mom literally never had a conversation at all about custody when we broke up. She already knew it was gonna be 50/50 and so did I. Only thing we had to talk about was the actual logistics. I feel like ANYTIME two people break up, 50/50 should be the default. Ideally, that removes the need for any sort of support from either side.
So have you tried to arrange that with her? If so, what was the outcome?
My parents and her parents worked out the schedule cuz anytime me and her talk it breaks down into a argument. Her parents already know she fckin up and she already got a defacs case against her. ? is truely a up hill battle with this girl
bruh....dont take this as a dis.
but that is YOUR child.
cant let your parents save you here. thats why she feels like she can get away with this ? .
you gotta man up and take your parents out of this.
they raised their kids....why you putting more on them?
you slept with this bat crazy chick so now you got stand tall with THAT decision.
dont look for the easy out.
this is about your child and your child needs to see daddy doing what he needs to do to see her/him. -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »1. Dont give her cash. Check or money order only. If she got a problem with that then save the money. Open an accound just for that and keep record of deposit.
2. If you dont want to pay support the only thing you can do is get physical cusotdy. Thats gone cost and will be an uphill battle. You're going to have to prove shes unfit.
not true
How so? The courts aren't going to change primary custody unless there's a significant change that will be a negative to the best interest in the child. He can prove all day long he has the childs best interest but there also has to be something to warrant a change in custody. Usually its proving the child is much better of with him. -
Pull out
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Keep your ? in your pants
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dont get into a beef with The Rock.
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<—�— divorced for going on 10 yrs not one CS payment. Fought like hell for 50/50 joint custody (legal and physical) after that was finial I was out trying to live that scumbag life.... I wasn’t good at it had a baby with a jump off and from day one did the same paperwork with my daughter so since I set the precedent with my 1st born judge said I can do the same with other child so no CS for my second either.
I provide financially and emotionally for all my chilrens without getting my pockets ran and having to report to court every time I get a raise or bonus. It costed me a lot upfront in time and legal fees but well worth it in the long run my kids are happy and I get along (well enough) with they Mother’s
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2stepz_ahead wrote: »1. Dont give her cash. Check or money order only. If she got a problem with that then save the money. Open an accound just for that and keep record of deposit.
2. If you dont want to pay support the only thing you can do is get physical cusotdy. Thats gone cost and will be an uphill battle. You're going to have to prove shes unfit.
not true
How so? The courts aren't going to change primary custody unless there's a significant change that will be a negative to the best interest in the child. He can prove all day long he has the childs best interest but there also has to be something to warrant a change in custody. Usually its proving the child is much better of with him.
But that doesn't mean the mother is unfit -
mryounggun wrote: »First off we need full story
2nd shes a bird that wants a prison BF
3....get 50/50 custody so u dont have to pay $$$?
^^^^I'm thinking pretty similar ? . But I'll leave that ? alone. Got one serious question, though.
Have you actually tried talking to her and working out joint 50/50 custody with her?
Overtime this kind of ? is brought up on the IC, it seems like when the breakup happens, it's automatically assumed without any discussion that the kid is going to be with mom and dad will have weekends or visitation or whatever the ? . And I never really understand why that's the default.
Me and my son's mom literally never had a conversation at all about custody when we broke up. She already knew it was gonna be 50/50 and so did I. Only thing we had to talk about was the actual logistics. I feel like ANYTIME two people break up, 50/50 should be the default. Ideally, that removes the need for any sort of support from either side.
So have you tried to arrange that with her? If so, what was the outcome?
How do y'all do 50/50? Switch every week? -
Elzo69Renaissance wrote: »fam take care of ur child
Worthless cliche response.
Dude said avoid "child support" not avoid taking care of his child. Too many people think it means the same thing.
People can, and do, take care of their children without that ? up biased ass system. -
First off we need full story
2nd shes a bird that wants a prison BF
3....get 50/50 custody so u dont have to pay $$$?
Not giving full story cuz it wouldn't fit in o/p and im not abt to let yall roast me into the sunset tellin yall how foul she did me. All imma say is fck dat ? and stay down for my kids cuz she gonna fall on her face one day but oh well. An i didnt know u didn't have to pay with joint custody good lookin bro
Bruh nobody gon fool you because YOU AINT AND YOU WONT BE THE LAST ONE TO FALL INTO THE IN CHILD - DISGUISED TAX. -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »1. Dont give her cash. Check or money order only. If she got a problem with that then save the money. Open an accound just for that and keep record of deposit.
2. If you dont want to pay support the only thing you can do is get physical cusotdy. Thats gone cost and will be an uphill battle. You're going to have to prove shes unfit.
not true
How so? The courts aren't going to change primary custody unless there's a significant change that will be a negative to the best interest in the child. He can prove all day long he has the childs best interest but there also has to be something to warrant a change in custody. Usually its proving the child is much better of with him.
what is unfit?
it can be subjective.
best interest is something that will benefit the child.
he has to be the better parent and present the case as the child will be better off with him...an setting the example of why. if he goes into court saying how bad she is....that will make him slanderous. even if he can prove it. hes focusing on her makes judges look at him like its vengeful.
trust me on this ....i got custody of both my kids from two different mothers, using the system like these chicks use the system.
so the warrant in custody can start with her affecting the relationship he has with the child where as he would allow her to build a relationship. he has toi come at it like visitation is not enough for a man to be a father when there are plenty of fathers who are ok four days out of a month, but we see where society is heading with the father not in the lead.
he can word it in a way she cant defend against. -
Full custody is the only option that I think you have unless somebody knows of another loop hole.
I basically have joint custody w/ my ex-wife being the primary custodial + I've been in my son's life since day 1. Still got stuck w/ the c/s. My son doesn't really want to stay w/ his mom at all, and I want full custody of him. I'll probably be fighting that battle soon now that he's at the age where the judge will take the child's wants into account. I know she's going to fight me on it because she's not trying to give up that monthly check. System is ? man....smh -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »1. Dont give her cash. Check or money order only. If she got a problem with that then save the money. Open an accound just for that and keep record of deposit.
2. If you dont want to pay support the only thing you can do is get physical cusotdy. Thats gone cost and will be an uphill battle. You're going to have to prove shes unfit.
not true
How so? The courts aren't going to change primary custody unless there's a significant change that will be a negative to the best interest in the child. He can prove all day long he has the childs best interest but there also has to be something to warrant a change in custody. Usually its proving the child is much better of with him.
what is unfit?
it can be subjective.
best interest is something that will benefit the child.
he has to be the better parent and present the case as the child will be better off with him...an setting the example of why. if he goes into court saying how bad she is....that will make him slanderous. even if he can prove it. hes focusing on her makes judges look at him like its vengeful.
trust me on this ....i got custody of both my kids from two different mothers, using the system like these chicks use the system.
so the warrant in custody can start with her affecting the relationship he has with the child where as he would allow her to build a relationship. he has toi come at it like visitation is not enough for a man to be a father when there are plenty of fathers who are ok four days out of a month, but we see where society is heading with the father not in the lead.
he can word it in a way she cant defend against.
True
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MsSouthern wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »1. Dont give her cash. Check or money order only. If she got a problem with that then save the money. Open an accound just for that and keep record of deposit.
2. If you dont want to pay support the only thing you can do is get physical cusotdy. Thats gone cost and will be an uphill battle. You're going to have to prove shes unfit.
not true
How so? The courts aren't going to change primary custody unless there's a significant change that will be a negative to the best interest in the child. He can prove all day long he has the childs best interest but there also has to be something to warrant a change in custody. Usually its proving the child is much better of with him.
But that doesn't mean the mother is unfit
This is also true -
the thing is he has to present himself as the parent not willing to allow another statistic.
that way the mother has to defend her own actions versus him trying to make her seem unfit.
she will make herself seem unfit but trying to say how shes the better parent when she aint letting him see the child. she has to talk her own way outta that while still trying to prove shes the better option.
man i got stories for days at how the judges used to cuss them hoes out after only about 4-5 sentences from me.
so dont attack her credibility...present yourself, and step back and she will fall into her own filth. -
Oh....and like somebody else said if you do end up having to pay....DO NOT GIVE HER CASH. I wouldn't even write a check directly to her either. I'd pay it directly to the c/s office and let them distribute the money to her that way your payments are on file and accounted for. My ex tried to pull the "write me a check" ? . ? around and have you in court paying double cause they could consider those checks as "gifts".
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Oh....and like somebody else said if you do end up having to pay....DO NOT GIVE HER CASH. I wouldn't even write a check directly to her either. I'd pay it directly to the c/s office and let them distribute the money to her that way your payments are on file and accounted for. My ex tried to pull the "write me a check" ? . ? around and have you in court paying double cause they could consider those checks as "gifts".
she shouldnt be getting cash from you if she has you on support.
all monies should go to the child when the child is with you. all the ? you buy...stay with you when the child aint with you. sounds harsh...but this is what she wanted.
she wanted support...ok you got support. dont ask for ? else.
yall gotta play this game to win. -
An another thing whats da point of me signing the birth certificate if i can only get legal rights to him through court? What in gods name type of backwards ? is this
Bruh.........DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING........until you get a dna/paternity test that proves you're the father.
Otherwise, you could end up paying child support for a kid that isn't even yours.
Something seems off about the way your babymama's moving.
I mean, for most chicks like that child support would be the first thing on her mind.
But she doesn't even seem to be stressing over it.........at all.
It's almost as if she knows the dude she's been cheating with is the baby's real father and that the......"we".....she was talking about when she said "we don't need your money" was her and him; not her and the baby.
She's trying to avoid all contact with you because she doesn't want to deal with all the stress and drama of you finding out the kid isn't yours.
more of a reason to get the ? out the way now.
just because a kid looks like you....dont mean its yours. cuz the ? she cheating with could look like you too.
lol......
