G&S Folks: AT WHAT POINT DURING DATING SOMEONE, YOU OFFICALLY LOCK IT DOWN WIT THAT PERSON?
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Recaptimus_Prime360
Members Posts: 64,801 ✭✭✭✭✭
You do have a discussion about finally committing to one another? Or just let things happen on its own, and kinda assume it's official? What was the deciding factor when it came to your current s/o?
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I tell the guy explicitly, "I want you. I want to be exclusive. You down?" LOL. Something to that effect. I try not to assume because that can lead to hurt feelings rather quickly.
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After enough probation time has passed and we're ready to take it to the next level, we discuss it and go from there..
Most times I'll go into a relationship to get that vip treatment.. Afterwards I get bored and gradually guide things into the friends with benefits zone.. Most times I'm successful but sumtimes I'm not... It's all a dice roll -
Once you start hittin raw *shrugs*
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@Six...an in your face question like that would throw me off. Lol!
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We have the discussion first you don't want to assume you're in a relationship.
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well that's been my problem. the ones i've dealt with always assume. smh
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darkone360 wrote: »well that's been my problem. the ones i've dealt with always assume. smh
Yeah exactly.. I just had this happen to me recently, been on only 3 dates with shorty and she moving too fast getting ahead of herself, want me to meet the mom and everything. I wasn't seeing her as wifey material though and told her. She is ignoring me now lol. On to the next one. She should of at least gave me some going away ? though. -
Sage Wonder wrote: »darkone360 wrote: »well that's been my problem. the ones i've dealt with always assume. smh
Yeah exactly.. I just had this happen to me recently, been on only 3 dates with shorty and she moving too fast getting ahead of herself, want me to meet the mom and everything. I wasn't seeing her as wifey material though and told her. She is ignoring me now lol. On to the next one. She should of at least gave me some going away ? though.
had a similar situation. ole girl i use to deal wit wanted to lock things down on DAY ONE! even after i told her i was lookin got a relationship, this hefa tried to tell me otherwise. talkin i should let my past relationship affect me being happy.
i get the assumption b/c a couple felt must've had some timeline in their head as to when they were ready to commit. unfornately, i didn't feel the same. -
Well damn Kai! So you're tellin me if you was single, and after 2wks of dating a guy, you expect him to lock it down?
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darkone360 wrote:You do have a discussion about finally committing to one another? Or just let things happen on its own, and kinda assume it's official? What was the deciding factor when it came to your current s/o?
I was on the phone with my boy. He called and ask me if I was available cause he had some broads coming over. I told him I was with my girl. My wife (my girl at the time) asked me if we were exclusive after I got off the phone. We had been dating for about a year. So I assumed we were. At that point alot of question was asked. I have to admit. I still had some joints on the side. But the realization that home wasnt secured kind of surprised me.like agree y'all are exclusive and boyfriend/girlfriend?
i don't have a set time period, but last time it was about 2 weeks
Damn 2 weeks, ? I still dont know your last name by then. So do you have a time limit on the ? , too?
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darkone360 wrote: »Well damn Kai! So you're tellin me if you was single, and after 2wks of dating a guy, you expect him to lock it down?
i didn't expect anything, we had a discussion about itDamn 2 weeks, ? I still dont know your last name by then. So do you have a time limit on the ? , too?
why wouldn't you know my last name by then. i think two weeks is enough time to see if you have a connection with someone and whether you really like them or not, so imo that's long enough to decide if you want to be exclusive or not
and no i don't have a time limit on the ? , but i can't have sex without being in love with the person first. we waited for six months before we first had sex
WHOA!!!! DUDES STILL WAIT THAT LONG....I CANT DO IT... -
Kai sounds like she was courted, which in my opinion leads to a better relationship.
You really need to wait months? Sounds like the type to date a chick for 10 years then get married...
Like Lamar Odom said, a man knows what he wants... -
Had that conversation with shorty last night. She said she want me to be exclusive. Told her some things about my past life that I always tell broads that wanna get serious with me. Told her to think about it and get back to me.
Crazy part is she still sucked me off last night. -
darkone360 wrote: »Well damn Kai! So you're tellin me if you was single, and after 2wks of dating a guy, you expect him to lock it down?
i didn't expect anything, we had a discussion about itDamn 2 weeks, ? I still dont know your last name by then. So do you have a time limit on the ? , too?
why wouldn't you know my last name by then. i think two weeks is enough time to see if you have a connection with someone and whether you really like them or not, so imo that's long enough to decide if you want to be exclusive or not
and no i don't have a time limit on the ? , but i can't have sex without being in love with the person first. we waited for six months before we first had sex
I need to see you in a couple of situations before I commit to a exclusive relationship. I had to see if my wife was ready for what was about to happen. Especially being in the military at the time. Your women has to be real independent and not gullible. Two weeks, hell we still lying to each other about our where abouts then. Maybe 6 months at the least. -
ItsKatBitches wrote: »Had that conversation with shorty last night. She said she want me to be exclusive. Told her some things about my past life that I always tell broads that wanna get serious with me. Told her to think about it and get back to me.
Crazy part is she still sucked me off last night.
What's that mean? You used to be a ? ? Stripper? Ax murderer?
All I can say is my upbringing was abnormal and thankfully I never ended up in prison. Whenever I meet a chick and we have "the talk" they either cry or tell me duck tales. -
ItsKatBitches wrote: »boo @ that mysterious response.
I don't glorify negativity. My closest friends don't know that ? about me, so what I look like telling that to a forum jump off? -
ItsKatBitches wrote: »ItsKatBitches wrote: »boo @ that mysterious response.
I don't glorify negativity. My closest friends don't know that ? about me, so what I look like telling that to a forum jump off?
Nobody asked you to glorify the ? ..? you and abnormal life since you want to get all extra.
u X( -
Somebody get this dude "longmeat" a kleenex. nh
Kleenex too expensive b, I'll just use a sock. -
I gotta disagree wit you Kat. Too many factors can be involved as to why someone hasn't committed.
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no time limit. relationships make themselves apparent before you try to put a title on it. for you commitment-phobic people i just say look at what you do with the person you're involved with. if you're doin the same ? you did when you were in a relationship then it might be time to just bite the bullet & lock it down.
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Well Kat has it ever occurred that some folks may have gotten outta long term relationships, and need time b4 they dive back into one again? Maybe its certain thinhs about that person they question, but hasnr gotten the answers. That goes for men and women.
Things ain't always cut & dry you know. Y'all women be so quick to jump in a relationship after 2 weeks? C'mon now. -
Honestly last time I was in a relationship it only took two weeks before we made it official. I'm grown I aint got time to ? around for six months not knowing if ? isn't going anywhere. If we still got a vibe after kick it with each other ALONE in person not that phone ? after like 2-4 weeks the question would get asked. Assuming I even want to get into a relationship at that point in time.
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Let things happen...I don't know why most women have this time frame that in 6 months you supposed to be in a relationship. Which is utterly stupid...it can be 6 months to a year and you still might not know the maphuka you dating.
I say let it take its course...why the rush? We not senior citizens in a home on respirators so chill ma and enjoy yourself.
Love and relationships in its true and honest form shouldn't be viewed with the same sense of trying to get a tenor at your job. Love does its own thing...creating rules creates limits. Limits that prohibit. -
Let things happen...I don't know why most women have this time frame that in 6 months you supposed to be in a relationship. Which is utterly stupid...it can be 6 months to a year and you still might not know the maphuka you dating.
I say let it take its course...why the rush? We not senior citizens in a home on respirators so chill ma and enjoy yourself.
Love and relationships in its true and honest form shouldn't be viewed with the same sense of trying to get a tenor at your job. Love does its own thing...creating rules creates limits. Limits that prohibit.
I know women who think after a year a man should know if he wants to marry a women.....
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Let things happen...I don't know why most women have this time frame that in 6 months you supposed to be in a relationship. Which is utterly stupid...it can be 6 months to a year and you still might not know the maphuka you dating.
I say let it take its course...why the rush? We not senior citizens in a home on respirators so chill ma and enjoy yourself.
Love and relationships in its true and honest form shouldn't be viewed with the same sense of trying to get a tenor at your job. Love does its own thing...creating rules creates limits. Limits that prohibit.
I know women who think after a year a man should know if he wants to marry a women.....
? that ? is scary...cause I'm thinking, they do that ? with EVERY man they meet...so it doesn't even ? matter who or what the ? is about...
