Meeting people's kids....usually a bad idea

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jono
jono Members Posts: 30,280 ✭✭✭✭✭
in For The Grown & Sexy
Of course there are exceptions but generally speaking I don't do it. Over the last few years I advised friends on not meeting a S/O's child(ren).

Scenario #1
My female friend was dating a dude with multiple kids (red flag). Anyway his youngest was like 3. I told her don't do it, its a bad idea but she insisted claiming that there's nothing wrong with meeting kids and how much she loves children (she got zero by the way). So they started hanging out on some family type ? , picnics, movies etc. I told her flat out "this ? using his kid as an emotional anchor, when ? gets real he gonna pull the my 'daughter loves you' card". She didn't believe me, sure enough when homie started bullshitting and she cut him off he started that "my baby just want to say Hi, she misses you"...she was scarred, she's a nice chick so hurting the feelings of a small child isn't in her nature. Ultimately she caved and took him back, after awhile they broke up again and she changed her number. She called me weepy as ? afterwards

Scenario #2
My homie was trying to win over this chick (haven't known her that long) with like a 6yr old son. So this past Xmas he was talking about buying little man a Xmas gift, now I love kids and this is a good sentiment, but I told homie not to do it. I told him that ? is Pandora's Box or Hell's Gate. Once its open all the evil miasma within is gonna infect his pocketbook like nothing he's never seen before. ? aint listen to me though, bought the kid something (a movie or some ? ) and now the ? is asking him to pay for her son's haircuts and gym shoes....he opened the door for it and now the little ? 's daddy sitting back like:
20120602201801!Laughing_haha.gif


I've only met the kids of friends, never of women I'm dating...I've always found it more responsible to NOT introduce people you just dating to your kids (I don't have any either) but some folks just don't agree.
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  • Billy_Poncho
    Billy_Poncho Members Posts: 22,382 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    How you gonna try to have a relationship with a woman with a kid without meetin him/her?
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  • Kat
    Kat Members Posts: 50,667 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    smh..how are you to have a relationship without the two meeting at some point?

    Now if you had added TOO SOON then I might have agreed.
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  • Meta_Conscious
    Meta_Conscious Members Posts: 26,227 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    ? a ? kids, mayne... ? is bad for everyone...
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  • jono
    jono Members Posts: 30,280 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    I've done it. Over a year with a chick...she had 2 kids, never met 'em. Not once, I've seen pictures I think I may have even talk to 'em but never met 'em in person. This was back when I might have actually been okay with meeting kids too.
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  • 700
    700 Members Posts: 14,496 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Stopitfive wrote: »
    ? a ? kids, mayne... ? is bad for everyone...

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  • nawledge_god
    nawledge_god Members Posts: 5,622 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Single Moms Always Lookin For A ? To Help Raise That Kid...? That...Childless Freaks FTW
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  • Knock_Twice
    Knock_Twice Members Posts: 4,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    I'll wait until the woman start bringing the kid around per say...I aint go volunteer myself to be in the kid's life..."where that lil nga daddy at"
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  • jono
    jono Members Posts: 30,280 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    MzGrahamBitches wrote: »
    smh..how are you to have a relationship without the two meeting at some point?

    Now if you had added TOO SOON then I might have agreed.


    How soon is too soon though? I think it depends on the nature of your relationship. I think that's when the exceptions kick in. If ya'll talking living together or marriage or something then its a must but one some not that serious, long term ? buddy stuff then save yourself the hassle is my position.
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  • King Erauno
    King Erauno Members Posts: 6,754 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    single moms selfish yo.

    selfish for keepin a child knowin the dad aint gonna be there
    selfish for keepin a child tryin to convince the dad to be there
    selfish cause she gonna ask a real ? for money and/or use him
    selfish and hurtin the child through this whole thing

    have that abortion before its too late, ?
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  • Dupac
    Dupac Members, Writer Posts: 68,365 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    establish a relationship between the two adults before bringing the kid in....
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  • Kat
    Kat Members Posts: 50,667 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    jono wrote: »
    MzGrahamBitches wrote: »
    smh..how are you to have a relationship without the two meeting at some point?

    Now if you had added TOO SOON then I might have agreed.


    How soon is too soon though? I think it depends on the nature of your relationship. I think that's when the exceptions kick in. If ya'll talking living together or marriage or something then its a must but one some not that serious, long term ? buddy stuff then save yourself the hassle is my position.

    Oh okay, yeah I definitely agree with that.

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  • ImTheKangRoundHere
    ImTheKangRoundHere Members Posts: 4,649 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Women are impossible. The ones with no kids are unrealistic and the ones mothering a school system expect you to become the principal. You got hella kids and you judging a ? for living at home. Of course he at home. He don't wanna live with your kids. If I accept you and all yo kids, accept the fact I live in my mom's garage.
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  • Kat
    Kat Members Posts: 50,667 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    King Erauno wrote: »
    single moms selfish yo.

    selfish for keepin a child knowin the dad aint gonna be there
    selfish for keepin a child tryin to convince the dad to be there
    selfish cause she gonna ask a real ? for money and/or use him
    selfish and hurtin the child through this whole thing

    have that abortion before its too late, ?

    Too bad somebody wasn't around to give your mom that tip.
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  • Trollio
    Trollio Members Posts: 25,815 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Kat is feisty today

    Roar
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  • 700
    700 Members Posts: 14,496 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    any ? that let me meet her kids i automatically kno she aint ?

    cause i aint no role model, ill get yo kids high as ?
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  • Knock_Twice
    Knock_Twice Members Posts: 4,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2013
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    First date shouldn't be involving a kid...

    I remember being ask to go and see "Disney on Ice or some ? " and I had just met the chick at the club like a week ago...I was like the kid going too lol...she was like yea ? ...I was like umm...I went..I aint pay..but I felt weird as ? ..I wasn't ready for the that ? ...I think the woman should have sense to "ask" if the guy is ready too to meet the kid/kids..
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  • jono
    jono Members Posts: 30,280 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Knock_Twice wrote: »
    First date shouldn't be involving a kid...

    I remember being ask to go and see "Disney on Ice or some ? " and I had just met the chick at the club like a week ago...I was like the kid going too lol...she was like yea ? ...I was like umm...I went..I aint pay..but I felt weird as ? ..I wasn't ready for the that ? ...I think the woman should have sense to "ask" if the guy is ready too to meet the kid/kids..

    .
    There it is. You have to ease a ? into meeting the kids, you can't just plop jimmie on the couch like "this is mommy's friend".


    I met one of my co-worker's kids once, we were doing a group going out session after work and all the pictures she had of him where of a little boy. So when we get there I'm thinking lil dude like 4, a big 10-12yr old ? come out like "hey ma" I was flabbergasted! Straight flushed. I can't imagine how I would feel if we were dating when that happened.
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  • Knock_Twice
    Knock_Twice Members Posts: 4,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2013
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    I have respect for chicks who have told me that they can't do such and such becuz they have their kid with them..or they'll call and say I don't have the kid he's with such and such..let's try and do something..I be like ok, she ok..she might be ready..
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  • Stew
    Stew Members, Moderators, Writer Posts: 52,234 Regulator
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    Im kinda bothered if a chic lets me meet her child all early nshit. Like yo, there is no reason for me to meet your child right now, I barely even know you.
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  • Dupac
    Dupac Members, Writer Posts: 68,365 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    any kid that sees too many "friends" come and go in their parents lives is gonna have some serious issues regarding love, and intimacy when they grow up...

    parents pretty much setting their kids up to be ain't ? in the future
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  • VIBE
    VIBE Members Posts: 54,384 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    What I learned from, "Think Like A Man" last night: meeting the kid is okay, but meeting the mother is worse.
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  • King Erauno
    King Erauno Members Posts: 6,754 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    MzGrahamBitches wrote: »
    King Erauno wrote: »
    single moms selfish yo.

    selfish for keepin a child knowin the dad aint gonna be there
    selfish for keepin a child tryin to convince the dad to be there
    selfish cause she gonna ask a real ? for money and/or use him
    selfish and hurtin the child through this whole thing

    have that abortion before its too late, ?

    Too bad somebody wasn't around to give your mom that tip.

    sorry. my parents only been married once for 40 years. Still married to this day. try again
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