For the fellow men who were raised without a father/male presence..
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MansaMusa67 wrote: »Ghost Leopard wrote: »
All jokes aside you 100% right.
@Taeboo doin her job to be passive, nurturing, soft, etc...and how its SUPPOSED to work is a black ass James Evans lookin ass father with a fuked up hairline is supposed to be the masculine lead for his child.
When thats not there u get single mothers raisin feminine boys. Sometimes its outwardly feminine, sometimes its that low key ? like yall said about the temper, reckless, etc. See: '90's babies'
But ? the rest of that post...she doing what she supposed to do as a mother...
In an ideal situation, yes, she is. Its the yin n yang...good cop bad cop...Momma can be all nice, and the father's job is to instill fear, like
'Pops is crazy. I better do right in school cuz that ngga b pickin up chairs n ? when he get mad.'
James Evans marrying a bad mother like Florida had him crazy in that episode
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mryounggun wrote: »Ah, the never ending debate that will never die. I was talking to my barber about this a while back. He rewards his kids for stuff they're supposed to do. Not really my thing.
Exactly! That's how you end up with kids with new jordans, tv in they OWN room, PS3, etc, etc...but meanwhile they're marginal students.
You done given them everything they want so where's the incentive to do better? Some parents give long term rewards for temporary behavior-a B on one test now he's got his own entertainment center. -
mryounggun wrote: »Ah, the never ending debate that will never die. I was talking to my barber about this a while back. He rewards his kids for stuff they're supposed to do. Not really my thing.
Exactly! That's how you end up with kids with new jordans, tv in they OWN room, PS3, etc, etc...but meanwhile they're marginal students.
You done given them everything they want so where's the incentive to do better? Some parents give long term rewards for temporary behavior-a B on one test now he's got his own entertainment center.
I unno about all that. There's 2 sides to that story.
Listen, people like feeling appreciated, even if it is what they're "supposed to do"? Why else do we have birthdays, mother's/father's day and so much more?
They do that as a way of building self-esteem & drive. Now, each kid is def different. Some get really comfortable when you give them rewards, while others feel they now have some motivation to keep following that straight line & working hard. It's a 2 sided coin and it's hard to tell how your kid responds.
But i dislike when people quickly reference the Chris Rock bit & act like we as human beings dont love to be appreciated no matter what it is.
I think the important thing is to make them understand why & keep consistancy. Yes is yes and no is no. This is why this is a yes and why this is a no. -
SnuffDaddy wrote: »mryounggun wrote: »Ah, the never ending debate that will never die. I was talking to my barber about this a while back. He rewards his kids for stuff they're supposed to do. Not really my thing.
Exactly! That's how you end up with kids with new jordans, tv in they OWN room, PS3, etc, etc...but meanwhile they're marginal students.
You done given them everything they want so where's the incentive to do better? Some parents give long term rewards for temporary behavior-a B on one test now he's got his own entertainment center.
I unno about all that. There's 2 sides to that story.
Listen, people like feeling appreciated, even if it is what they're "supposed to do"? Why else do we have birthdays, mother's/father's day and so much more?
They do that as a way of building self-esteem & drive. Now, each kid is def different. Some get really comfortable when you give them rewards, while others feel they now have some motivation to keep following that straight line & working hard. It's a 2 sided coin and it's hard to tell how your kid responds.
But i dislike when people quickly reference the Chris Rock bit & act like we as human beings dont love to be appreciated no matter what it is.
I think the important thing is to make them understand why & keep consistancy. Yes is yes and no is no. This is why this is a yes and why this is a no.
I hate that Chris Rock ? , as well.
Anyway, yeah my son is still young as ? (4) so he sometimes still gets a reward for basic ? . But here is my philosophy on parenting:
When your kids are young, your MAIN job is to protect them. Your SECONDARY job is to prepare them for the real world.
When they get older, your MAIN job is to prepare them for the real world. Your SECONDARY job is to protect them.
So as my boy gets older, he's gonna have to start to understand that you shouldn't expect a reward everytime you do normal ? that you are supposed to do. You should expect to be PUNISHED for NOT doing those things. Just like real life. I think the mentality of 'If I do what I'm supposed to do, I get a reward' is how we raise entitled ass kids into entitled as adults.
But I agree that every kid is different. -
mryounggun wrote: »SnuffDaddy wrote: »mryounggun wrote: »Ah, the never ending debate that will never die. I was talking to my barber about this a while back. He rewards his kids for stuff they're supposed to do. Not really my thing.
Exactly! That's how you end up with kids with new jordans, tv in they OWN room, PS3, etc, etc...but meanwhile they're marginal students.
You done given them everything they want so where's the incentive to do better? Some parents give long term rewards for temporary behavior-a B on one test now he's got his own entertainment center.
I unno about all that. There's 2 sides to that story.
Listen, people like feeling appreciated, even if it is what they're "supposed to do"? Why else do we have birthdays, mother's/father's day and so much more?
They do that as a way of building self-esteem & drive. Now, each kid is def different. Some get really comfortable when you give them rewards, while others feel they now have some motivation to keep following that straight line & working hard. It's a 2 sided coin and it's hard to tell how your kid responds.
But i dislike when people quickly reference the Chris Rock bit & act like we as human beings dont love to be appreciated no matter what it is.
I think the important thing is to make them understand why & keep consistancy. Yes is yes and no is no. This is why this is a yes and why this is a no.
I hate that Chris Rock ? , as well.
Anyway, yeah my son is still young as ? (4) so he sometimes still gets a reward for basic ? . But here is my philosophy on parenting:
When your kids are young, your MAIN job is to protect them. Your SECONDARY job is to prepare them for the real world.
When they get older, your MAIN job is to prepare them for the real world. Your SECONDARY job is to protect them.
So as my boy gets older, he's gonna have to start to understand that you shouldn't expect a reward everytime you do normal ? that you are supposed to do. You should expect to be PUNISHED for NOT doing those things. Just like real life. I think the mentality of 'If I do what I'm supposed to do, I get a reward' is how we raise entitled ass kids into entitled as adults.
But I agree that every kid is different.
I hear ya & i agree.
Hey, at least you're there and you trying. Respect, homie. -
SnuffDaddy wrote: »i grew up without a father i can relate to some ? u posted nh
would yall forgive your father when u get older and he wants to meet you and ? ? im not really that forgiving atm he wrote me some letters iont even read that ? goes straight to the bin.
@SnuffDaddy
Nope. Might sound harsh but it is what it is. Last i heard he wasnt in good health either. That ? is the one who gave me type 1 diabetes as well..
But from what i heard he did love me. But things happened, and no - not your typical "there's three side to a story. His, hers and the truth" thing, but i really havent seen dude since i was like 3-4 years old and i barely remember that. He doesnt even live in the same country as me anymore. I wouldnt even know what his voice sounds like..i heard his voice 1 time in my life (that i can remember) and that was on accident and turned into some bs..i was like 8 years old..Havent heard from him since..so ? him basically.
My mother used to press my really hard to go visit him/talk to him when i was young and even when i turned into a young adult but i refused. I told ya, i turned cold hearted.
So i could really care less if he died tbh. Same thing with "my" "step-father". They die and id prolly smile. More-so if "my stepfather" died than my biological father tho, cuz at least i really dont know him.
The bold is why no matter what people say it's important to at least attempt to know your family's history if nothing else for medical purposes....as for the rest though it's always interesting when people can clearly express such anger towards a person then try to say they don't care if they live or die. Clearly you care and there's hurt there. Nothing wrong with that, you're supposed to be ? if your parent/s didnt do what they should have done. That's a normal thing to feel. It don't make someone tougher for pretending not to care. -
SnuffDaddy wrote: »mryounggun wrote: »Ah, the never ending debate that will never die. I was talking to my barber about this a while back. He rewards his kids for stuff they're supposed to do. Not really my thing.
Exactly! That's how you end up with kids with new jordans, tv in they OWN room, PS3, etc, etc...but meanwhile they're marginal students.
You done given them everything they want so where's the incentive to do better? Some parents give long term rewards for temporary behavior-a B on one test now he's got his own entertainment center.
I unno about all that. There's 2 sides to that story.
Listen, people like feeling appreciated, even if it is what they're "supposed to do"? Why else do we have birthdays, mother's/father's day and so much more?
They do that as a way of building self-esteem & drive. Now, each kid is def different. Some get really comfortable when you give them rewards, while others feel they now have some motivation to keep following that straight line & working hard. It's a 2 sided coin and it's hard to tell how your kid responds.
But i dislike when people quickly reference the Chris Rock bit & act like we as human beings dont love to be appreciated no matter what it is.
I think the important thing is to make them understand why & keep consistancy. Yes is yes and no is no. This is why this is a yes and why this is a no.
Yeah this thing of "I don't want to be told I'm appreciated" ? some dudes try to be on is ridiculous. Especially being that the basis of one of those Chris Rock skits they reference is the anger behind the LACK of appreciation for the role that fathers do play. "All daddy gets is the big piece of chicken" is funny but in a sad way and really a way to point out how much people undervalue the role a father plays now, not some way of saying "See, men don't need/want acknowledgment. That ? is for suckas".... -
SnuffDaddy wrote: »...have you ever acknowledged or noticed where you missed your father in your ways of thinking/acting?
*in before the clowning*. The trolls will have a field day i'm sure, but ? it, lol.
Serious question.
Ever recognized some of the female traits you took on being raised by women? Whether we notice it or not we adopt alot of it. Some go searching for male presence in the streets cuz of it. Doesnt negate the potential female traits still tho.
I grew up without a father & consistant male influence around me. Was raised by moms, who actually handled it well & was a rarity around my way, but never any real good consistant male presence. Had very few one's for a short duration of time but they came & left or were really bad. Almost murdered my step-father a few years ago, for really real. Still feel guilty for not doing to this day.
Anyway, i always noticed how sympathetic i was/am, especially towards other women. Like i was/am that "nice guy". Not saying i was better than anyone else or that i was a pushover but i was always that good kid. That, of course, isnt a female trait but thats something i got from my mother.
As a kid i was a little uncomfortable around certain aggressive male enviroments or people in general with a certain kind of "confidence", cuz i wasnt used to it, still aint. I wasnt a ? or whatever but i just wasnt that comfortable. Things like that made people, wannabe bullies, test me tho. Wasnt bullied but i got tried alot.
Then i also noticed that i was sensitive early on. Still am, definitely not as much tho. I also see that i have a nurturing side when it comes to kids (Not in no ? way either ? ! lol). But as far as loving kids & showing love to them & that is generally a female trait, that i got from my moms. Then i also got insecure alot, which is normal, but cuz i really didnt/dont know how a man is supposed to be/act i always was insecure about alot of stuff.
Over the years though because of my experiences in life i kinda got that male aggressivness thrown at me, like 2pac said, which has made me more cynical, less sympathetic, less forgiving & all that.
Anyone else have things they can acknowledge about themselves? ? finna clown, lol, but i'm seriously wondering.
So you are a ? ?
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I had a Step-Dad that really didn't teach me anything, or talk to me much. In my younger days I wasn't really aggressive, but I had plenty of fights with everyone. My Step-Brother, Friends, Neighbors, other kids at the Boys and Girls Club. I was one of the kids that shed tears when he got mad and it was a rap.
I guess when I was about 11, or 12 all that flipped and I rarely got into any fights and I never cried. Never got too emotional and ? just rolled off of my back.
Now, Im cool and laid back. I only amp up when I really need too, which is rare. -
I had a Step-Dad that really didn't teach me anything, or talk to me much. In my younger days I wasn't really aggressive, but I had plenty of fights with everyone. My Step-Brother, Friends, Neighbors, other kids at the Boys and Girls Club. I was one of the kids that shed tears when he got mad and it was a rap.
I guess when I was about 11, or 12 all that flipped and I rarely got into any fights and I never cried. Never got too emotional and ? just rolled off of my back.
Now, Im cool and laid back. I only amp up when I really need too, which is rare.
<<< exact same ? about the fighting idk y tho, as far as biological parents i got both
But I kno a lot of ? raised by there moms that try to be over masculine
But having feminine ass tendencies
Like these the basics of being a man I learned from my pops when I was young
- we fix ?
- watch sports
- ? and laff
- eat the biggest plates
- work get money
- watch violent movies
-fix more ?
-buy ? to fix
-save ? to fix later when u really nit going to
-go above and beyond to take care of the ppl around u
- don't loose the inner child -
Can't relate... came from a 2 parent household... parents still married after 44 years.
But for all ya'll fatherless ?
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Rosebudd B'Dose wrote: »Can't relate... came from a 2 parent household... parents still married after 44 years.
But for all ya'll fatherless ?
LOL
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Havin a father that doesn't teach you ? is just as bad as one who ain't there maybe even worse.
That's what fathers are, teachers to their sons then later counselors.
My old man didn't teach me ? , he was just the asswhooper so I never went to him for ? and everything else I learned I got from other men. ? was too busy tryin to teach me to be afraid in the world instead of navigating it and it was because he was ? whipped by m dukes who didn't want me being all rough even though it's my nature.
Only lesson I learned from the old man was never get controlled by a ? . -
Yeah, I missed out on him teaching me how to run from my responsibilities and blame others for my ? ups.
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I like the generalizations of single parent children being made by the people who had both parents.
Lmao yall ? sound like Joseph Conrad when he wrote Heart of Darkness. But yall wont hear me tho. -
Most these ? moms have mustaches so its close enough.
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Thread full of tears and disappointment
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i know a dude thats like 40 an still needs to try to run thru massive amounts of young chicks.....now while it may sound good...when your 40 be a playa..dont try to out do the 20yrs olds.
another dude i know...always has to lift weights so he can attract the girls and scare the dudes away...these are his words.
'Can't relate.
getting ? at 40 is one thing...but when you need to adjust your lifestyle and do ? to get ? attention an you 40....that is something wrong with that....
if you cant pull ? just by being yourself....
yea -
Pico Roscoe wrote: »Thread full of tears and disappointment
well u went to the army so u must have some kind of (daddy)issues
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I have father post lmfao and a kind and gentle mother.
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Pico Roscoe wrote: »Thread full of tears and disappointment
well u went to the army so u must have some kind of (daddy)issues
Negative, my dad been around my whole life.
My whole fam is military so I just went with the trend. -
EmperorRises wrote: »I have father post lmfao and a kind and gentle mother.
u still a ? thoPico Roscoe wrote: »Pico Roscoe wrote: »Thread full of tears and disappointment
well u went to the army so u must have some kind of (daddy)issues
Negative, my dad been around my whole life.
My whole fam is military so I just went with the trend.
oh ok
wavy ppl who grew up without a father
louis c.k.
tupac
jigga
clinton
biggie
obama
confucius
plato
aristotle (10 when his fahter died)
muhammad
genghis Khan
caesar (16 when his father died so that doesnt really count)
malcolm x (6 when his father died) -
@pralims
By some of the things ive seen you right, i think you & i are alike in some of our way of thinking. Respect. -
Learned how to shave by using google.
Therefore Google was a better father to me, than my actual father. -
Boys is typing they hearts away in here
