is this true about single mothers?

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  • damobb2deep
    damobb2deep Members Posts: 19,972 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Rasta. wrote: »
    Regardless of how you spin it, A male figure is needed in the household. No slight on your efforts but it's just the reality of our society.

    no one has denied that... but the thread was about women subconsciously teaching their daughters to make the same mistakes they did... or their sons to become like their fathers... which she is saying is not true... ? I agree..


    i think negative stereotypes of single mothers does lead to generalizations... to make it "her fault" when that is not always the case... she could be widowed.... there are so many things that can be the cause..

    but hey I'm not too keen on stereotypes anyway... jmo...
  • texas409
    texas409 Members Posts: 20,854 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Its no wonder our community suffers like it does. The broken family household is tearing us apart. These chicks are choosing to not procreate with the winners in our society they are choosing the ? , the vile, the unclean, then cry about the babies and consequences later. Lets just be real about it and stop coddling these hoes
  • damobb2deep
    damobb2deep Members Posts: 19,972 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    texas409 wrote: »
    Its no wonder our community suffers like it does. The broken family household is tearing us apart. These chicks are choosing to not procreate with the winners in our society they are choosing the ? , the vile, the unclean, then cry about the babies and consequences later. Lets just be real about it and stop coddling these hoes
    that's the thing... statistically our families are not as broken as they want us to believe... black men are in their children's life more than any other race.... also black women are the most educated out of women in any other race... but the fact that ? want to believe that "we ain't ? " because stereotypes say so... ? start to believe that.. we have at least one "black excellence" thread in here a week.. but they don't do numbers... but let a thread that makes us look like ? or us being treated like ? and those threads do... smh.. ? need to revamp their thinking..


    also I have said this plenty of times but get negative reactions all the time.. black people need to start looking at themselves as individuals instead of as a group.. we are the only race if one of us does something bad we all look bad... makes no sense..
  • taeboo
    taeboo Members Posts: 4,669 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    I guess we were due for a single mothers thread.


    mryounggun wrote: »
    I'd say that's true of most people, single mother or otherwise. MOST people are too quick to blame others for their behaviors or actions instead of looking in the mirror. No one can MAKE you do anything. You ALWAYS hold responsibility for the choices you make.

    Thread should've ended here.
  • LEMZIMUS_RAMSEY
    LEMZIMUS_RAMSEY Members, Writer Posts: 17,670 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Life in some way is a GAMBLE. Dpending on your education and CHOICES the ODDS may be big or not.

    LOVE AND REALTIONSHIP IS THE BIGGEST LIFE GAMBLE IMO. until we have a thelepathy ability we will stiil progressing in the dark.
    When it comes to rrlashionship NO ONE IS SAFE. MONEY AND WEALTH ARE NO GARANTEE FOR A SUCCESSFULL RELATIONSHIP
    POVERTY NEITHER
    INTELLIGENCE, STREET KNOWLEDGE DIPLOAMS ET... cannot garantee that you will make the good choices.

    That being said its not because you have failed in the relationship gamble that you have to instill anti trust and anti relationship into the mind of your children. they are already suffering from the separtion / divorce. Plus their fear of the unknown is severly increased because of that situation.

    Single parents have to teach their children that what happened to them is THEIR LIFE STORY not them childrens. And that they should still have trust in life and love and believe that they will succeed in their relationships. its a fail to transmit your sourness and anger to your loved ones.
  • LEMZIMUS_RAMSEY
    LEMZIMUS_RAMSEY Members, Writer Posts: 17,670 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Plus the parents need to stop actin blind to the facts. If you let your teenager get outside on night chances are they WILL ? .

    When on earth will parents place a ? on the living room table a and train these kids on placing A ? DAMN CONDOM!!!

    YOU LET YOUR CHILDREN WATCHING PORN
    YOU LET YOUR TEENAGERS GO TO THE CLUB

    BUT YOU FREEZE WHEN IT COMES TO LEARNING THEM HOW TO HAVE SAFE SEX!!!

    You cannot seat on both sides of the fence. Be realistic with your children.
  • CashmoneyDux
    CashmoneyDux Members Posts: 11,217 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    It aint even that deep

    The kids end up ? up cause this single parent baby mama ? jus simply doesnt work


    PERIOD

    Wrote a paper on this ? in college. It goes all the way back to slavery. ? is deeper than rap.
  • yellowtapesport
    yellowtapesport Members Posts: 4,662 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    It aint even that deep

    The kids end up ? up cause this single parent baby mama ? jus simply doesnt work


    PERIOD

    Wrote a paper on this ? in college. It goes all the way back to slavery. ? is deeper than rap.

    Give me the cliff notes lol
  • DarcSkies
    DarcSkies Members Posts: 13,791 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    ? women only talk that "choice" ? when they're deciding to ? their unborn. Other than that you're not going to get a ? to take responsibility for her actions. Just not going to happen.

    Also, not all single mothers are in a bad relationship with the father. Just because two people break up doesn't mean they're at each other's throat. SOME males/females are capable of putting differences to the side for the greater good.

    (Emphasis on SOME).
  • LEMZIMUS_RAMSEY
    LEMZIMUS_RAMSEY Members, Writer Posts: 17,670 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    DarcSkies wrote: »
    ? women only talk that "choice" ? when they're deciding to ? their unborn. Other than that you're not going to get a ? to take responsibility for her actions. Just not going to happen.

    Also, not all single mothers are in a bad relationship with the father. Just because two people break up doesn't mean they're at each other's throat. SOME males/females are capable of putting differences to the side for the greater good.

    (Emphasis on SOME).

    CLICHES AND GENERALIZATIONS WONT MAKE THINGS PROGRESSING.

    At the end of the day WE NEED EACH OTHER. Instead of shaming and waging a battle of sexes ist high time we reflect on our society and social environment.

    Cause these two elements have a huge impact on our relationships.

    THE PROBLEM I SEE ON OUR WESTERN SOCIETY

    - too much antigonism between men and women.

    - we are not educated to share but to FAST AND FURIOUSLY CONSUMMING.

    - the dialogue has been enpoverished by MONEY. All that ' i got money so im aight alone dont need anyone' cant hide the heavy use of anti depressors and drugs.

    That will lead to my next threads

    ARE WESTERN SOCIETY ARE MADE FOR COMMITMENT AND LONGLASTING COUPLES?

    ARE WE POISONED SOCIETYWISE BY MONEY?

    MEN AND WOMEN : HOW DO WE REINSTALL COMMUNICATION?

  • 700
    700 Members Posts: 14,496 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    You say some ? about about single mothers black hoes be running ready to turn up boy
  • Dr.Chemix
    Dr.Chemix Members Posts: 11,816 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Or these females just accept responsibility and reality. You drop your panties for a boy in a mans body that wasn't about accepting his responsibility in fathering a child. So you teach the son or daughter the truth, so that curse doesn't manifest into a generational curse. You don't get mad at the child, get angry or vindictive and raise them up in a incorrect way. But then again, alot get bitter because they lil girls themselves.

  • damobb2deep
    damobb2deep Members Posts: 19,972 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Dr.Chemix wrote: »
    Or these females just accept responsibility and reality. You drop your panties for a boy in a mans body that wasn't about accepting his responsibility in fathering a child. So you teach the son or daughter the truth, so that curse doesn't manifest into a generational curse. You don't get mad at the child, get angry or vindictive and raise them up in a incorrect way. But then again, alot get bitter because they lil girls themselves.

    not say you but people in general promote "boyish behavior".... "don't love these hoes".... "smash and dash"... "Bros before hoes" ect... are all the things you will high five your ? for doing but bash the female he does it to... you can't have it both ways.. honestly ? get vindictive as well.. but again there are so many other reasons a female may be a single mother... her ? a "ain't ? dude" is only one...

    btw people should put as much effort into teaching their sons " you make that baby you stay there for that baby" (not necessarily with the woman) that would curb alot of issues as well...
  • YC11
    YC11 Members Posts: 891 ✭✭✭✭
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    I grew up knowing lot of kids with moms only where their biological fathers left them and never to be heard from again. Or comes around once in a blue moon but never be there for them in their actual lives. I'm lucky to have both parents... And to all you useless deadbeats out there, either own up to what you did, choice you made, or think with your head first next time, not the one down there. Same for the girls. Easy come, easy go. Good things should take time, not overnight.

    There's certain aura and things that make single moms(not the divorced or widowed) and baby daddies who they are. It's negative energy, you just know when you see them or talk to them. G-h-e-t-t-o. But this is food chain, easy lays will get pumped and dumped early on, and the ones who did the dumping will move on. Hence lots of teenage single moms out there, tend to be less intelligent or slutty in nature. Classy ones will stay put and wait for the Mr.Right. It's harsh nature, you get what you deserve though.
  • Fosheezy
    Fosheezy Members Posts: 3,204 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    That's what happen when you get women doing all the choosing
  • scorpio4lfe
    scorpio4lfe Members Posts: 3,159 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2015
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    Dr.Chemix wrote: »
    Or these females just accept responsibility and reality. You drop your panties for a boy in a mans body that wasn't about accepting his responsibility in fathering a child. So you teach the son or daughter the truth, so that curse doesn't manifest into a generational curse. You don't get mad at the child, get angry or vindictive and raise them up in a incorrect way. But then again, alot get bitter because they lil girls themselves.

    not say you but people in general promote "boyish behavior".... "don't love these hoes".... "smash and dash"... "Bros before hoes" ect... are all the things you will high five your ? for doing but bash the female he does it to... you can't have it both ways.. honestly ? get vindictive as well.. but again there are so many other reasons a female may be a single mother... her ? a "ain't ? dude" is only one...

    btw people should put as much effort into teaching their sons " you make that baby you stay there for that baby" (not necessarily with the woman) that would curb alot of issues as well...

    PREACH! The same ones screaming "You must have messed with ain't ? ? " be the same ones screaming in the next breath "? these hoes" "? in't ? but hoes and tricks" ? what does that make you.
    Stop the madness.

    Crazy thing is you never know what kind of father a man will be until he has his first child. You would hope if the relationship doesn't work out between the parents, they would adult enough to know there is a difference between being a father and being a mate. Some belive it's synonymous and that's unfortunate. It's just difficult to gauge what the outcome would be while in the relationship when it's just the 2 of you.
  • yellowtapesport
    yellowtapesport Members Posts: 4,662 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Dr.Chemix wrote: »
    Or these females just accept responsibility and reality. You drop your panties for a boy in a mans body that wasn't about accepting his responsibility in fathering a child. So you teach the son or daughter the truth, so that curse doesn't manifest into a generational curse. You don't get mad at the child, get angry or vindictive and raise them up in a incorrect way. But then again, alot get bitter because they lil girls themselves.

    not say you but people in general promote "boyish behavior".... "don't love these hoes".... "smash and dash"... "Bros before hoes" ect... are all the things you will high five your ? for doing but bash the female he does it to... you can't have it both ways.. honestly ? get vindictive as well.. but again there are so many other reasons a female may be a single mother... her ? a "ain't ? dude" is only one...

    btw people should put as much effort into teaching their sons " you make that baby you stay there for that baby" (not necessarily with the woman) that would curb alot of issues as well...

    PREACH! The same ones screaming "You must have messed with ain't ? ? " be the same ones screaming in the next breath "? these hoes" "? in't ? but hoes and tricks" ? what does that make you.
    Stop the madness.

    Crazy thing is you never know what kind of father a man will be until he has his first child. You would hope if the relationship doesn't work out between the parents, they would adult enough to know there is a difference between being a father and being a mate. Some belive it's synonymous and that's unfortunate. It's just difficult to gauge what the outcome would be while in the relationship when it's just the 2 of you.


    Wish I could 1/2 Cosign lol but I agree with the bold
  • OmegaConflict
    OmegaConflict Members Posts: 39,030 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Kat wrote: »
    Ok.

    Lmao @everyone giving Kat feelings.
    Some things never change
  • BEAM
    BEAM Members Posts: 2,560 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2015
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    And how would you define these "winners" in society? That has nothing to do with the outcome of a relationship between two people. People are people no matter how much of a "winner" he is. If the ? don't work out, you have 2 choices. Stay and deal with it or leave

    While I understand the point you're trying to make, it isn't very cohesive.

    How is it that relationships with these ? that are supposedly relationship material result in single Parent households?
    It would seem that some of these more favorable characteristics would carry over, but things don't always work out that way..

    If you want a ? to go out with and ? , a boyfriend essentially, then sure. But don't get surprised when being good company and providing good ? don't translate to being a good and/or present Father. Own up to what you want, but don't argue that who's most fun to chill with also struck you as a great Father..

    A good Boyfriend/Girlfriend ≠ a good Father/Mother, unfortunately, and this is where a lot of people get caught up..
  • CHICAGO_BREED
    CHICAGO_BREED Members Posts: 2,950 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    texas409 wrote: »
    Its no wonder our community suffers like it does. The broken family household is tearing us apart. These chicks are choosing to not procreate with the winners in our society they are choosing the ? , the vile, the unclean, then cry about the babies and consequences later. Lets just be real about it and stop coddling these hoes

    This ? is true. For example, Ima use somebody that everybody.....know Ciara has a baby by Future but is salty ass hell when the ? leave and making songs about it.......like damn ? he must've kept the other 9 kids and 9 BM's a secret.

    Plain and simple, females like to ? with the dope boys and scumbags but want a "real man"/good guy to save em when they been ran thru the mud. The ? is funny to me. Facebook is FULL of these women and a lot of em single mothers
  • Kat
    Kat Members Posts: 50,667 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Kat wrote: »
    Trollio wrote: »
    Single mothers be ?

    As do most people..lol wtf.


    Lmao at every comment towards women stinging you

    I bet when u walk outside and hear ppl laughing u get uncomfy cause you jus "KNOW" they laughin at u, huh

    It's not stinging me at all, but if I or one of the other handful of IC ladies don't check yalls ? male ? who will?

    Moving right along.
  • manofmorehouse
    manofmorehouse Members Posts: 2,716 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Dr.Chemix wrote: »
    Or these females just accept responsibility and reality. You drop your panties for a boy in a mans body that wasn't about accepting his responsibility in fathering a child. So you teach the son or daughter the truth, so that curse doesn't manifest into a generational curse. You don't get mad at the child, get angry or vindictive and raise them up in a incorrect way. But then again, alot get bitter because they lil girls themselves.

    not say you but people in general promote "boyish behavior".... "don't love these hoes".... "smash and dash"... "Bros before hoes" ect... are all the things you will high five your ? for doing but bash the female he does it to... you can't have it both ways.. honestly ? get vindictive as well.. but again there are so many other reasons a female may be a single mother... her ? a "ain't ? dude" is only one...

    btw people should put as much effort into teaching their sons " you make that baby you stay there for that baby" (not necessarily with the woman) that would curb alot of issues as well...

    PREACH! The same ones screaming "You must have messed with ain't ? ? " be the same ones screaming in the next breath "? these hoes" "? in't ? but hoes and tricks" ? what does that make you.
    Stop the madness.

    Crazy thing is you never know what kind of father a man will be until he has his first child. You would hope if the relationship doesn't work out between the parents, they would adult enough to know there is a difference between being a father and being a mate. Some belive it's synonymous and that's unfortunate. It's just difficult to gauge what the outcome would be while in the relationship when it's just the 2 of you.

    I think it goes back to women having the ultimate choice of keeping or aborting that makes your argument a little hard to agree with. I agree with u that there are tons of ain't ? ? in the world. I'll even accept your premise that there are men who completely switch up after a woman gets pregnant (even though I believe the majority of these situations are more about the woman being blinded by love type), but if a woman decides to make a unilateral decision to bring a child in the world knowing how difficult it is, how do u sympathize with that when things get difficult??

    That's like me voluntarily getting a job then getting upset at my coworker for not assisting me with my workload. This is not excusing these dead beat ? that aren't in their kids lives, but chicks have to stop playing the victim roles when yall knew the type of ? you were dealing with. As a rule of thumb, I don't mess with women that are from a single parent home that don't at least have a positive relationship with their real dad. You're asking for extra baggage. Sure, they're hard to find, but if u looking for quality, shouldn't u be discerning in who u choose??
  • deadeye
    deadeye Members Posts: 22,884 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    why do yall talk like these women are getting themselves pregnant ?


    It's "their body" though.


    Since it's her body, the woman has the ultimate power to decide whether or not she's going to go through with the pregnancy.


    Basically, it takes two to make a baby.....but only one person has all the power.
  • deadeye
    deadeye Members Posts: 22,884 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    texas409 wrote: »
    Its no wonder our community suffers like it does. The broken family household is tearing us apart. These chicks are choosing to not procreate with the winners in our society they are choosing the ? , the vile, the unclean, then cry about the babies and consequences later. Lets just be real about it and stop coddling these hoes

    And how would you define these "winners" in society? That has nothing to do with the outcome of a relationship between two people. People are people no matter how much of a "winner" he is. If the ? don't work out, you have 2 choices. Stay and deal with it or leave
    texas409 wrote: »
    Its no wonder our community suffers like it does. The broken family household is tearing us apart. These chicks are choosing to not procreate with the winners in our society they are choosing the ? , the vile, the unclean, then cry about the babies and consequences later. Lets just be real about it and stop coddling these hoes

    And how would you define these "winners" in society? That has nothing to do with the outcome of a relationship between two people. People are people no matter how much of a "winner" he is. If the ? don't work out, you have 2 choices. Stay and deal with it or leave



    I think...in this scenario....the winners are defined as good fathers who choose to play an active role in their children's lives.