Women Struggle with Monogamy More Than Men
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man shut the ? up, sick of you new style ? ? . You ? are the perpetual little boys feminist want you to be. YOU live your life however the ? , just to be happy that's female and little child ? grown men should never live like that or think like that.
first of all men keep their women in line and keep them stable and happy even at the expense of our own happiness.
since when do you make the standards for what GROWN men should do. You sound like a bitter wife
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not_osirus_jenkins wrote: »You posting that for the sake of discussion or that article got you feeling some type of way about your own situation?
Either way, people are getting tired of long term relationships period where they are pretty much "forced" to stay with their s/o. Marriage is slowly weathering away, people are more interested in being happy than being married.
Thats a good thing btw.
being happy is overrated
Wait....what?
being happy can make you fat and greedy and lazy and lustful and stupid.
a lot of drug addicts are out here happy as a ? , a lot of obese people are happy as a ? .
? this obsession with being happy at all costs that kind of thinking is the downfall of society.
No ? a Christian supporting conformity of the masses and sheeple
if i was supporting conformity you ? idiot i would be telling people to go out and ? a million ? and do whatever you want what i am advocating is the exact opposite. -
Men are most likely to cheat then women.
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Shizlansky wrote: »Men are most likely to cheat then women.
Depends on what you call cheating, don't think your girl don't appreciate them good mornings in the office from lunch ? -
The Lonious Monk wrote: »desertrain10 wrote: »Women Struggle with Monogamy More Than Men
By Amanda Marcotte
Harder for women to maintain than men? Well, let's fix it then.
Photo by Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images
Since its beginnings, when it was called "sociobiology," evolutionary psychology has been wed to the theory that women are monogamous and men are promiscuous—that men have a compunction to spread their seed while women instinctually want to lock some guy down to raise her children. Feminist attempts to create sexual equality between men and women were doomed to fail, because they went against biology. Shrugging was encouraged, and the term "hard-wired" was mandatory.
But now the evidence is beginning to trickle in, and one sticky fact has thrown this entire theory into jeopardy: It's women and not men who get bored with monogamy faster. As Daniel Bergner writes in the New York Times, women are far more likely to lose interest in sex with their partners. This doesn’t necessarily translate into infidelity—a choice many reject because it’s so hurtful—but, Bergner reports, spouse-weary women often just avoid sex altogether.
Add to that the study Bergner cites showing women respond to novelty in pornographic fantasies, and another showing that women are much more turned on by fantasies of sex with strangers than friends. You’d be forgiven for concluding that the gender most interested in mixing it up might be…women.
What's really fascinating is that with this shift in understanding comes a profound shift in how we as a society are deciding to respond. There will be no shrugging of the shoulders and tossing around the word "hard-wired" to rationalize women disappointing male expectations of passionate monogamous sex. Instead, as Bergner writes, a ton of money is being spent on developing a drug women can take to restore their desire for their husbands. The drug, called Lybrido, is in clinical trials now with the hope of writing an FDA application by the end of the year.
Bergner also implies that women’s declining interest in monogamous sex is socially, not biologically, inflected. Since women receive messages “that sexual desire and expression are not necessarily positive,” he suggests, they tend to require additional stimuli—such as novelty—to get them in the mood. The implication? If we can normalize female desire in society at large, we can presumably encourage women to continue ? after their partners.
Notice that identifying a lack of sexual excitement as a societal ailment, not a biological one, reduces the sense of fatedness around the issue. When people believed that boredom with monogamy was a male trait for women to endure, interest in fixing it was pretty low. Now that we understand boredom with monogamy to be a female trait for men to endure, it’s suddenly a Problem—with possible solutions. Though frustrating, this is ultimately probably a good thing. Since most of us want to be monogamous, it's about time we took seriously the need to keep it interesting.
http://www.slate.com/blogs/? _factor/2013/05/23/nytimes_on_lybrido_women_get_bored_with_monogamy_faster_than_men.html
The article is from 2013 but i thought it was worth rehashing considering Lybrido was projected to hit the market this yr.... any thoughts?
What exactly are we supposed to discuss? Or the better question is what idea are you trying to push with this? It should almost be expected that women cheat more since ? comes to them. Women don't really have to put any effort into cheating. Men for the most part do. So what exactly are we supposed to take from that? Just because women cheat more doesn't mean their motivations for cheating is the same. It also doesn't mean they necessarily have the same drive to "sew their seeds" that men do.
What are u suppose to discuss?
Ur thoughts on the article, bruh
Coventional wisdom has been men struggle with monogamy more than women...the author and others suggest that not the case and that women struggle with monogamy more than men
I see that you feel this is by default, since supposedly "more ? comes to " women....which i disgree with
I know bad fine women who are rarely approached by men
And its kinda beside the point
Just because i have options doesn't necessarily mean I'm gonna grow bored with sex with my s/o...or better yet the more options i have can but isn't necessarily going to correlate with the speed at which i grow bored with monogamy
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Judge_Judah wrote: »desertrain10 wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »desertrain10 wrote: »You posting that for the sake of discussion or that article got you feeling some type of way about your own situation?
Either way, people are getting tired of long term relationships period where they are pretty much "forced" to stay with their s/o. Marriage is slowly weathering away, people are more interested in being happy than being married.
Thats a good thing btw.
For the sake of discussion...
The conventional wisdom has always been that women are better suited for monogamy, less interested in sex than men especially after becoming mothers...
So thought it would to an interesting discussion
Also thought it was interesting that even though women are more likely to want to cheat, men are more likely to actually do it? At least from my personal observations
i disagree....
i have know more women to cheat than men.
i have alot of conversations with chicks that open up more to me for some reason ...and most of them have crept out. mostly for their own ego.
yes, it sounds like a male thing...but lets not act like women dont have egos and want to be constantly pursued.
Maybe,
But everything from film to tv paints woman out as wanting monogamy more than men ...its been the conventional wisdom....while male infidelity is framed as "a man being a man"
Which is why i found this excerpt from the article particularly interesting:
Bergner also implies that women’s declining interest in monogamous sex is socially, not biologically, inflected. Since women receive messages “that sexual desire and expression are not necessarily positive,” he suggests, they tend to require additional stimuli—such as novelty—to get them in the mood. The implication? If we can normalize female desire in society at large, we can presumably encourage women to continue ? after their partners.
How would we normalize female desire in THIS society?
Treat it the same as male desire, sexuality -
Lol...nah not really.
Its the desire to be happy that's got me changing positions. -
desertrain10 wrote: »Judge_Judah wrote: »desertrain10 wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »desertrain10 wrote: »You posting that for the sake of discussion or that article got you feeling some type of way about your own situation?
Either way, people are getting tired of long term relationships period where they are pretty much "forced" to stay with their s/o. Marriage is slowly weathering away, people are more interested in being happy than being married.
Thats a good thing btw.
For the sake of discussion...
The conventional wisdom has always been that women are better suited for monogamy, less interested in sex than men especially after becoming mothers...
So thought it would to an interesting discussion
Also thought it was interesting that even though women are more likely to want to cheat, men are more likely to actually do it? At least from my personal observations
i disagree....
i have know more women to cheat than men.
i have alot of conversations with chicks that open up more to me for some reason ...and most of them have crept out. mostly for their own ego.
yes, it sounds like a male thing...but lets not act like women dont have egos and want to be constantly pursued.
Maybe,
But everything from film to tv paints woman out as wanting monogamy more than men ...its been the conventional wisdom....while male infidelity is framed as "a man being a man"
Which is why i found this excerpt from the article particularly interesting:
Bergner also implies that women’s declining interest in monogamous sex is socially, not biologically, inflected. Since women receive messages “that sexual desire and expression are not necessarily positive,” he suggests, they tend to require additional stimuli—such as novelty—to get them in the mood. The implication? If we can normalize female desire in society at large, we can presumably encourage women to continue ? after their partners.
How would we normalize female desire in THIS society?
Treat it the same as male desire, sexuality
I dont disagree. But what would be treating it "the same"? -
Just keep making her think you're gonna cheat.
That'll spice things up. -
People are only as faithful as their options, and women .Shizlansky wrote: »Men are most likely to cheat then women.
Depends on what you call cheating, don't think your girl don't appreciate them good mornings in the office from lunch ?
Hol up. That's cheating??? -
If you have a free supply of Sprite Soda coming in on a daily basis...you probably gonna consume a lot of sprite. You might get sick of it after a while. But whenever you want it...it will be there.
If you have a weekly supply of Pepsi. YOu'll consume Pepsi. But probably not as much.
Women can get ? at the snap of a finger. When they're ? ...it's there. Society now tells women being a ? is perfectly OK and anybody who says otherwise just "doesn't respect women" and all this other nonsense. So its not that women are now more likely to cheat. Its that they are more likely to be open about it and admit it.
But these hoes been hoes. Aint nothing changed. Just they admitting it now. -
I agree with darx.
Hoes ain't really gettin ? shamed like that to be feeling oppressed n ? . -
Lets not get into alladat...
Cheating isn't just physical, and believe it or not you can't just fall in ? or on ? , it starts with hey hi good morning -
I know it's more than just physical but I'm sayin should I really flip out over a "good morning" at work?
Lets not get into alladat...
Cheating isn't just physical, and believe it or not you can't just fall in ? or on ? , it starts with hey hi good morning -
I think a lot of this has to do with the thing females biologically crave the most, "attention".desertrain10 wrote: »I'm for monogamy
Its just further proof a commitment, exclusivity takes work and is not something to rush into for men or women
Riddle me this, then why do women always rush into it and men don't or are stand offish?
Also, our sex drive is just naturally higher. Females sex drive is up and down. So that basically killes this argument lol. We get hard sometimes for absolutely no reason. I get up in the morning sometimes and just be on hard. My ? be on auto pilot sometimes. NOW BEAT THAT............WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HUMPH!!!!!!!!!
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A big part of why these 20-30 year marriages last as long as they do is that the couples know the value of compromise, and practice it daily.
If you constantly feel you could be doing better, or whoever you're with isn't the best possible partner for you, there will never be a foundation for a monogamous relationship in your personal life.
And as long as there are choices, such people will continue to step out. It's as simple as that.
"Grass is always greener" and all that. -
You posting that for the sake of discussion or that article got you feeling some type of way about your own situation?
Either way, people are getting tired of long term relationships period where they are pretty much "forced" to stay with their s/o. Marriage is slowly weathering away, people are more interested in being happy than being married.
Thats a good thing btw.
being happy is overrated
man i feel so bad for your kids if you ever have any -
I know it's more than just physical but I'm sayin should I really flip out over a "good morning" at work?
Here we go with the innocence. lol
Listen, ? aren't saying hello to you and being nice just to be nice. You should know this by now.
Most of the time ? only give attention to women they're interested in, especially if they go out of their way to do it, even if it is just a "hello" or a "good morning."
Likewise, if it was a lame ? saying hello, most females wouldn't be tryna hear none of it, and would brush it off. You may say hello back, but it wouldn't be accompanied by a smile or eye contact, or anything to encourage further encounters.
There's a lot of subconscious communication that goes on between men and women, and while you may not be outright ? someone other than your S/O, you know who you're interested in and where you stand with them.
Women are better at this than men, because they don't have to enact any of it. Attention just comes their way based on how they dress, act, and react while out in public ( even while away from their S/O ), and they can thusly categorize and keep track of their other options accordingly. That's all the "Friend Zone" is, a shelf stocked with backup options, just in case..
This is why women have absolutely no pause, seemingly always out on dates with new/different ? , and in and out of bed and/or relationships so quickly, because they've always got options on deck.
So even if a "hello" seems harmless today, a woman knows she can flip that ? in to whatever she wants tomorrow if necessary.
* Never mistake faithfulness for loyalty. -
You posting that for the sake of discussion or that article got you feeling some type of way about your own situation?
Either way, people are getting tired of long term relationships period where they are pretty much "forced" to stay with their s/o. Marriage is slowly weathering away, people are more interested in being happy than being married.
Thats a good thing btw.
being happy is overrated
man i feel so bad for your kids if you ever have any
I already have one and happiness pleasures and indulgences are overrated. -
I know it's more than just physical but I'm sayin should I really flip out over a "good morning" at work?
Here we go with the innocence. lol
Listen, ? aren't saying hello to you and being nice just to be nice. You should know this by now.
Most of the time ? only give attention to women they're interested in, especially if they go out of their way to do it, even if it is just a "hello" or a "good morning."
Likewise, if it was a lame ? saying hello, most females wouldn't be tryna hear none of it, and would brush it off. You may say hello back, but it wouldn't be accompanied by a smile or eye contact, or anything to encourage further encounters.
There's a lot of subconscious communication that goes on between men and women, and while you may not be outright ? someone other than your S/O, you know who you're interested in and where you stand with them.
Women are better at this than men, because they don't have to enact any of it. Attention just comes their way based on how they dress, act, and react while out in public ( even while away from their S/O ), and they can thusly categorize and keep track of their other options accordingly. That's all the "Friend Zone" is, a shelf stocked with backup options, just in case..
This is why women have absolutely no pause, seemingly always out on dates with new/different ? , and in and out of bed and/or relationships so quickly, because they've always got options on deck.
So even if a "hello" seems harmless today, a woman knows she can flip that ? in to whatever she wants tomorrow if necessary.
* Never mistake faithfulness for loyalty.
Damn so when my 84yr old neighbor says Goodmorning to me I should cuss his old ass the ? out and go drink holy water cause I just emotionally cheated?????? -
Because they used to playing with all of they options maybe?
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Damn so when my 84yr old neighbor says Goodmorning to me I should cuss his old ass the ? out and go drink holy water cause I just emotionally cheated??????
Shorty, don't play. You know what I mean. -
@Pico
Don't trip until you or they start feeling some way when they don't get a hello goodmornig
Like if a ? at ya job usually hey good morning, and he go on leave, and you start wondering where he is, or when he come back you say to him or your so say to their co-worker "hey where you been haven't seen you in a few days"
You know what I'm talking about...you just treading on that line -
.. You know what I'm talking about...you just treading on that line ..
Exactly.
All this, "We're just coworkers / We're just friends / It's not like that," bullshyt is bullshyt.
Women will break up with a ? and be in a brand new relationship in less than a month. That didn't just "happen."
It takes time to get to know someone, to get comfortable with them, to develop a genuine attraction for them.
But just like @Pico's doing now, they try to act like they don't know what it is. -
^^^Keep goin...
Also, my last job opened my eyes like none other
Downtown location, unparalleled number of workrs age 21-40 (tons of blaxk professions) . You couldn't find a better dating pool if you wanted
And i saw with my own 2 eyes, and got it confirmed by the OG that been there 15 years. 2 things
1) everybody was fukin everybody . Openly married men and women carrying on open affairs with their,'friends' at work, started by goin out to lunch n ?
2) The ones that were legit married, about 30% met their spouse at the job
