Pros / Cons About Marriage
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Comments
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Her love is transactional
SMH...this ? stole my lyrics :#
http://community.allhiphop.com/discussion/559909/fellas-and-women-in-a-relationship-need-some-real-help/p6 -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »The problem is thinking there is a difference between a hoe and a regular ? .
Because you contrive this distinction you end up applying the wrong solution to the problem.
A hoe is nothing but a female willing to use her ? to extract resources from a man.
Name five ? you know that wouldn't use their ? to get what they want.
Being a hoe is a basic program of a female. It ain't even an intentional thought it's just the way they move.
So to say that you simply have to choose the right female ignores the fact that hoe is encoded in her. The female you with used ? to get you, uses ? to keep you, but you think she's above using it to get something else from another man? Why? Because principles? Hoes don't have principles. They don't operate on an honor system.
If you with a female long term it is because she doesn't feel she can do better than you.
If she does find someone she thinks is better she'll do something called monkey branching. Shell pull back affection from her current, withdraw from sex become emotionally distant pick petty arguments, basically tank the relationship until he breaks up with her. She will swear there is nobody else, but look on her fb two weeks to a month later you gonna see her boo'd up with the ? she was cheating on you with.
Now if she wants a man who she isn't sure is available she will cheat but won't leave right away. Maybe the dude is married or has a gf but she will ? him in order to mate poach.
Some females will play a game where they hook up with a beta for the resources, cheat with an alpha, get pregnant by him and pass the baby off as the beta's.
Lot of ? outchea thinking they chose the right one. Holding Ls.
Paying child support on kids not even theirs.
I already went over the other Ls.
Understand the nature of the thing you dealing with
nooo no no
just no
hoes, ? . ? , women ....all different.
bruh you just...
nooooo
your veiw is jaded as hell.
hell yes my wife can do better than me.
she has options...just like I have options.
but she's with me....an I take keeping her seriously as she does me.
two way street
How old is your wife bruh and how many kids between y'all
@2stepz_ahead
she over 35 an had two kids BTW us. my kids.
what's your point ....I'm ready to fight
Point is she almost 40 with two kids. Where she gonna go?
Who would want her for an ltr? Nobody.
A ? her age that's single with no kids in good financial position can get a 25 yr old.
A ? younger than her is not gonna want her for an ltr unless he a ? .
Unless she find a ? that is making twice as much as she is and willing to play daddy to two half grown ? , she stuck.
The only other move she could make is if she makes less money than you to wait till the kids are grown get a divorce, ball out on your alimony while catching young ? .
they my kids tho....she has no ties to me other than marraige an her wanting to stay
Damn so she like emotionally damaged and ? .
Or she could just really be a nawalt.
Can't call it but most relationships or marriages don't play out this way
but why think she emotionally damaged.
why cant it be that she saw a man...going all out to be a man. going ? out to fight for his kids while still grinding and finding time to do little things for her?
a man with responsibility and goes after them...takes care of them. a man with a life plan...an executes it or making moves to execute it.
you'd be surprised how many ? say ? but don't do it. so when someone really actively goes after many things...it stands out.
it's about character. an integrity.
a good dude is a good dude...no matter the look , money or job.
we both got good ones.
Because the only females I've seen willing to play mommy to kids not their own are emotionally damaged. They got some unresolved child hood issues.
? don't give a ? about integrity or honor or principles in any way that does not directly benefit them.
so you don't know females who will see the character and/or potential in a guy?
it's something wrong with where you looking IMO.
there is a such thing as building with someone.
Is your wife fat?
lol
so you gonna keep try to find an angle where someone has an issue so they gotta take what they can get?
bruh...just admit YOUR veiw is jaded.
you been hurt bad or living off someone else's hurt or a millenial
So that's a yes. Yes your wife is fat. All I'm saying is that all you have to do is look at a ? and her circumstances and that will tell you what's up with her. She's almost 40 and fat, maybe not super fat but she not tryna put her ass on the market.
That's why she was willing to earn more money than you, be a step mom and whatever other ? is going on. Age got no options.
smdh.....I just got trolled by this clown?
I thought we was having a legit convo
I didn't troll you. You didn't directly answer the question so i inferred one.
It's not a legit conversation because you keep using anecdotal examples as evidence while i use data. Since you insist on using your personal experience, I'll deconstruct it.
So answer the question, is your wife overweight? Please answer in height and weight
? you can keep inferring.....
the point you trying to make is not valid.
Im using myself as an example as to why your theory is wrong. after looks. you'll try again an again until you think you disproved something.
she not damaged, so she must be fat, if she not fat then she must be anorexic, if she not that...hmmm she must be ugly. no? she gotta ? the bed.
? we can do this all day....
what data you got that supports anything?
You not gonna dodge my question then turn it back on me. It's a simple question. All you have to answer is yes or no.
I mean to blow up my point all you have to say is she not fat or ugly or emotionally damaged. You can't offer up yourself as evidence then refuse to submit to cross analysis.
none of this has any bearing on why we got together....
now if you said...she saw a ? willing to care for her like one of you last post....then you have a point. I have nothing to say an I'm guilty. hell...I even said it.
but on the flip side...i saw someone that will take care of me to.
for every benefit she has...I can counter with my own.
but like someone else said.....you can see who your partner truly is when under pressure... we been there when I lost someone close.
all the ? is hard work.
you have to carry that person. as you must be ok trusting you can be carried. while you can gain double resources you also have to split single resources in tough times.
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also to say her love is transactional.....are we not men?
being married doesn't take away my needs.
I need certain ? which makes my ? transactional as well.
why ? only seeing this like a chick gets everything. -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »also to say her love is transactional.....are we not men?
being married doesn't take away my needs.
I need certain ? which makes my ? transactional as well.
why ? only seeing this like a chick gets everything.
Nobody said you didn't need anything.
But if your wife stops providing the things you need, chances are you're not going to leave her
But
If you stop providing the things she needs, she will leave you. Not right away and maybe not even physically, but she will leave. Love is a reward females give based on you continuing to do what she needs. It's not even love, affection that mimics love. She'll give you that gfe girl friend experience. -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »also to say her love is transactional.....are we not men?
being married doesn't take away my needs.
I need certain ? which makes my ? transactional as well.
why ? only seeing this like a chick gets everything.
Nobody said you didn't need anything.
But if your wife stops providing the things you need, chances are you're not going to leave her
But
If you stop providing the things she needs, she will leave you. Not right away and maybe not even physically, but she will leave. Love is a reward females give based on you continuing to do what she needs. It's not even love, affection that mimics love. She'll give you that gfe girl friend experience.
What about women who take care of fine ? like very attractive who have women who spoil them....i know most men aren't the adonis i speak of but what if you are -
Majority of men aren't understanding what the problem is because of a basic failure to understand the difference between how men love and women love.
Men love the person. We can ? for anyone but when we let ourselves love a ? It's because we see something about her that we want in our lives. Most times it's her displaying some maternal ? that subconsciously remind us of our mothers. (Men marry their mothers or mother like figure)
Men will ? a lot of ? but maybe only love a handful.
Females on the other hand do not love the person, they love what the person can do for them. They love that a man compliments them, offers financial security, can give them an orgasm, can buy them things. They don't love you.
Think it's a game? Next time your girl say she love you, ask her what she loves about you. 9 out of 10 it's gonna be something that you do for her, you make her happy, you make her feel special she loves you because You love her. Her love is transactional
How does this translate into marriage and divorce? Most women decide marriage partners on the ability of the mate to provide resources and stability. Females are security first at that time. The reason why females initiate divorce a majority of the time is because they feel their mate is no longer providing those physical needs, secondly, she feels that someone else obtainable can provide better for her, or lastly, through the state she can secure resources from the man while no longer being married to him.
Why can females do this So easily? Because they never loved you in the first place, they loved your resources what you can do for them.
I been Tryna say this the whole thread ya know? Seems like we are saying the same thing but from different angles.. I agree with all of this..
These women ain't sticking around for nobodies BS.. They'll ? and suck whomever no matter the reputation it gives then until they find what/who makes them happy.. And they'll keep a little from each past ? as insurance and the courts back up this behavior.. -
Marriage isn't for everyone ; however, it can be very beneficial if you pick the right spouse.
People can ? on it all they like, but it's a much more favorable situation for raising children in, it can very well increase your buying power to if you have a spouse pulling his/her weight, you'll have someone to be there with you as you start to take those little bumps in life.
You're going to deal with all kinda ish in life likely illnesses, death of loved ones, financial woes, etc it takes a little of the sting off if you have someone there with you in these situations.
The problem is most people don't do a good job in picking someone with integrity, ambition, intelligence, and character and they choose based on more superficial reasons and when the superficial attributes fade there is nothing left that's further enticing. That's when they generally grow to hate the person, because the relationship wasn't built on the right things. -
EmM HoLLa. wrote: »Majority of men aren't understanding what the problem is because of a basic failure to understand the difference between how men love and women love.
Men love the person. We can ? for anyone but when we let ourselves love a ? It's because we see something about her that we want in our lives. Most times it's her displaying some maternal ? that subconsciously remind us of our mothers. (Men marry their mothers or mother like figure)
Men will ? a lot of ? but maybe only love a handful.
Females on the other hand do not love the person, they love what the person can do for them. They love that a man compliments them, offers financial security, can give them an orgasm, can buy them things. They don't love you.
Think it's a game? Next time your girl say she love you, ask her what she loves about you. 9 out of 10 it's gonna be something that you do for her, you make her happy, you make her feel special she loves you because You love her. Her love is transactional
How does this translate into marriage and divorce? Most women decide marriage partners on the ability of the mate to provide resources and stability. Females are security first at that time. The reason why females initiate divorce a majority of the time is because they feel their mate is no longer providing those physical needs, secondly, she feels that someone else obtainable can provide better for her, or lastly, through the state she can secure resources from the man while no longer being married to him.
Why can females do this So easily? Because they never loved you in the first place, they loved your resources what you can do for them.
I been Tryna say this the whole thread ya know? Seems like we are saying the same thing but from different angles.. I agree with all of this..
These women ain't sticking around for nobodies BS.. They'll ? and suck whomever no matter the reputation it gives then until they find what/who makes them happy.. And they'll keep a little from each past ? as insurance and the courts back up this behavior..
emm? did you jump ship on me? -
Majority of men aren't understanding what the problem is because of a basic failure to understand the difference between how men love and women love.
Men love the person. We can ? for anyone but when we let ourselves love a ? It's because we see something about her that we want in our lives. Most times it's her displaying some maternal ? that subconsciously remind us of our mothers. (Men marry their mothers or mother like figure)
Men will ? a lot of ? but maybe only love a handful.
Females on the other hand do not love the person, they love what the person can do for them. They love that a man compliments them, offers financial security, can give them an orgasm, can buy them things. They don't love you.
Think it's a game? Next time your girl say she love you, ask her what she loves about you. 9 out of 10 it's gonna be something that you do for her, you make her happy, you make her feel special she loves you because You love her. Her love is transactional
How does this translate into marriage and divorce? Most women decide marriage partners on the ability of the mate to provide resources and stability. Females are security first at that time. The reason why females initiate divorce a majority of the time is because they feel their mate is no longer providing those physical needs, secondly, she feels that someone else obtainable can provide better for her, or lastly, through the state she can secure resources from the man while no longer being married to him.
Why can females do this So easily? Because they never loved you in the first place, they loved your resources what you can do for them.
There are some hard truths in what you said.
Yet not all the females are wired like this.
ITS ABOUT THE EDUCATION. Most women, until they reach menaupose, are educated in a sense that they are convinced that THEY DESERVE ALL THATS BEST IN THE WORLD JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE FRESH AND BEAUTIFULL.
If they start crying, daddy comes at the rescue.
When they walk near a door, a man will hold it
When they near a seat, a man will hold/ give his seat.
When they dont have something, a man will provide it for them
When a ship is sinking, women first and men later
When there is war , no women on the front lines
Etc...
Hence the behavior of most women, wether they work or not. Its rare but it exist women who are not educated this way. Blessed is the man who criss their path and catch them. But for the majority you will encouter the oaformentioned behavior.
But life is a ? . Once they HIT THE WALL and see their youth disapearing OVERNIGHT, the get a reality check : all the super attention was because of their physical freshness.
For some women its ADULTHOOD TIME. For the others ITS A NIGHMARE. Hence the cougar/ oversexual behavior.
All that to say that we are all responsible about women general behavior. We educate them, we treat them like QUEENS/ PRINCESSES/IRRESPONSIBLE/INNOCENT beings... as long as they are fuckable.
In some way we cannot complain about what we create.
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I'm not going to saybhe doesn't have point....but he painting all women the same.
I can paint all women the same....they all have reasins for what they do. -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »Majority of men aren't understanding what the problem is because of a basic failure to understand the difference between how men love and women love.
Men love the person. We can ? for anyone but when we let ourselves love a ? It's because we see something about her that we want in our lives. Most times it's her displaying some maternal ? that subconsciously remind us of our mothers. (Men marry their mothers or mother like figure)
Men will ? a lot of ? but maybe only love a handful.
Females on the other hand do not love the person, they love what the person can do for them. They love that a man compliments them, offers financial security, can give them an orgasm, can buy them things. They don't love you.
Think it's a game? Next time your girl say she love you, ask her what she loves about you. 9 out of 10 it's gonna be something that you do for her, you make her happy, you make her feel special she loves you because You love her. Her love is transactional
How does this translate into marriage and divorce? Most women decide marriage partners on the ability of the mate to provide resources and stability. Females are security first at that time. The reason why females initiate divorce a majority of the time is because they feel their mate is no longer providing those physical needs, secondly, she feels that someone else obtainable can provide better for her, or lastly, through the state she can secure resources from the man while no longer being married to him.
Why can females do this So easily? Because they never loved you in the first place, they loved your resources what you can do for them.
I been Tryna say this the whole thread ya know? Seems like we are saying the same thing but from different angles.. I agree with all of this..
These women ain't sticking around for nobodies BS.. They'll ? and suck whomever no matter the reputation it gives then until they find what/who makes them happy.. And they'll keep a little from each past ? as insurance and the courts back up this behavior..
emm? did you jump ship on me?
No I've been trying to say all thread we must deal in reality.. That these women are only loyal to what's important to them.. If you aren't handling your business at home expect that woman to leave.. These women don't mind jumping from relationship to relationship.. And as men we must know this and move accordingly especially if marriage is on the table..
The game don't stop once u put a ring on it.. In fact it is just beginning.. -
LMAO... this ? @LordZuko been having me rolling the entire thread
-
MizuryLillith wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »The problem is thinking there is a difference between a hoe and a regular ? .
Because you contrive this distinction you end up applying the wrong solution to the problem.
A hoe is nothing but a female willing to use her ? to extract resources from a man.
Name five ? you know that wouldn't use their ? to get what they want.
Being a hoe is a basic program of a female. It ain't even an intentional thought it's just the way they move.
So to say that you simply have to choose the right female ignores the fact that hoe is encoded in her. The female you with used ? to get you, uses ? to keep you, but you think she's above using it to get something else from another man? Why? Because principles? Hoes don't have principles. They don't operate on an honor system.
If you with a female long term it is because she doesn't feel she can do better than you.
If she does find someone she thinks is better she'll do something called monkey branching. Shell pull back affection from her current, withdraw from sex become emotionally distant pick petty arguments, basically tank the relationship until he breaks up with her. She will swear there is nobody else, but look on her fb two weeks to a month later you gonna see her boo'd up with the ? she was cheating on you with.
Now if she wants a man who she isn't sure is available she will cheat but won't leave right away. Maybe the dude is married or has a gf but she will ? him in order to mate poach.
Some females will play a game where they hook up with a beta for the resources, cheat with an alpha, get pregnant by him and pass the baby off as the beta's.
Lot of ? outchea thinking they chose the right one. Holding Ls.
Paying child support on kids not even theirs.
I already went over the other Ls.
Understand the nature of the thing you dealing with
nooo no no
just no
hoes, ? . ? , women ....all different.
bruh you just...
nooooo
your veiw is jaded as hell.
hell yes my wife can do better than me.
she has options...just like I have options.
but she's with me....an I take keeping her seriously as she does me.
two way street
How old is your wife bruh and how many kids between y'all
@2stepz_ahead
she over 35 an had two kids BTW us. my kids.
what's your point ....I'm ready to fight
How old were y'all when u got together? U a good one cuz I couldn't wife a woman with 2 kids and I don't have any. Props 2 u if u happy tho.
I'll open up for attack.
we was together 14 yrs an the both my kids from previous ? .
I was broke..she made twice as much as me an I was fighting for custody of my kids from two different women.. my car was a ? and I think I moved into my mom's house she wasn't using.
U got a good one
Yeah.... Shes luckier than most 'good ones'
Zuko makes a valid point.... Most ? dont play out that way.
why dont ? play out that way?
-
EmM HoLLa. wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »Majority of men aren't understanding what the problem is because of a basic failure to understand the difference between how men love and women love.
Men love the person. We can ? for anyone but when we let ourselves love a ? It's because we see something about her that we want in our lives. Most times it's her displaying some maternal ? that subconsciously remind us of our mothers. (Men marry their mothers or mother like figure)
Men will ? a lot of ? but maybe only love a handful.
Females on the other hand do not love the person, they love what the person can do for them. They love that a man compliments them, offers financial security, can give them an orgasm, can buy them things. They don't love you.
Think it's a game? Next time your girl say she love you, ask her what she loves about you. 9 out of 10 it's gonna be something that you do for her, you make her happy, you make her feel special she loves you because You love her. Her love is transactional
How does this translate into marriage and divorce? Most women decide marriage partners on the ability of the mate to provide resources and stability. Females are security first at that time. The reason why females initiate divorce a majority of the time is because they feel their mate is no longer providing those physical needs, secondly, she feels that someone else obtainable can provide better for her, or lastly, through the state she can secure resources from the man while no longer being married to him.
Why can females do this So easily? Because they never loved you in the first place, they loved your resources what you can do for them.
I been Tryna say this the whole thread ya know? Seems like we are saying the same thing but from different angles.. I agree with all of this..
These women ain't sticking around for nobodies BS.. They'll ? and suck whomever no matter the reputation it gives then until they find what/who makes them happy.. And they'll keep a little from each past ? as insurance and the courts back up this behavior..
emm? did you jump ship on me?
No I've been trying to say all thread we must deal in reality.. That these women are only loyal to what's important to them.. If you aren't handling your business at home expect that woman to leave.. These women don't mind jumping from relationship to relationship.. And as men we must know this and move accordingly especially if marriage is on the table..
The game don't stop once u put a ring on it.. In fact it is just beginning..
Only thing I want to add to this.. Is that ALL women aren't necessarily looking to abandon ship once they think they can get the next best thing.. Let's not paint ALL women like this.. But this is very very common... -
@2stepz_ahead told yall
Hit that ? AAANND once yall ? are empty ANALYSE THE WOMAN.
Thats the thing lots of us dont do at all.
Same goes for women.
-
Majority of men aren't understanding what the problem is because of a basic failure to understand the difference between how men love and women love.
Men love the person. We can ? for anyone but when we let ourselves love a ? It's because we see something about her that we want in our lives. Most times it's her displaying some maternal ? that subconsciously remind us of our mothers. (Men marry their mothers or mother like figure)
Men will ? a lot of ? but maybe only love a handful.
Females on the other hand do not love the person, they love what the person can do for them. They love that a man compliments them, offers financial security, can give them an orgasm, can buy them things. They don't love you.
Think it's a game? Next time your girl say she love you, ask her what she loves about you. 9 out of 10 it's gonna be something that you do for her, you make her happy, you make her feel special she loves you because You love her. Her love is transactional
How does this translate into marriage and divorce? Most women decide marriage partners on the ability of the mate to provide resources and stability. Females are security first at that time. The reason why females initiate divorce a majority of the time is because they feel their mate is no longer providing those physical needs, secondly, she feels that someone else obtainable can provide better for her, or lastly, through the state she can secure resources from the man while no longer being married to him.
Why can females do this So easily? Because they never loved you in the first place, they loved your resources what you can do for them.
Ok I have a couple questions...and this is for everybody not just you, zuko.
@ bolded...somebody posted in this thread that marriage isn't working out right now because gender roles are ? up....to which a lot of ppl agreed with. BUT in traditional relationships/marriages, the man's role was to protect his wife/family/home and be the provider. That's literally how biology designed us to be...why shouldn't women be seeking that out in a man?
So if your husband isn't protecting his family, by that standard of upholding gender roles, why shouldn't she leave? By that same token, if a wife isn't maintaining you/the home/yalls kids, the husband should leave. Are we supposed to be holding each other accountable for not following through on our agreement to each other or nah?
a lot of ? like to wax poetic about grandma and granddad staying together despite him cheating or whatever tf else, when reality is there weren't any options for grandma to leave if she wanted to. -
atribecalledgabi wrote: »Majority of men aren't understanding what the problem is because of a basic failure to understand the difference between how men love and women love.
Men love the person. We can ? for anyone but when we let ourselves love a ? It's because we see something about her that we want in our lives. Most times it's her displaying some maternal ? that subconsciously remind us of our mothers. (Men marry their mothers or mother like figure)
Men will ? a lot of ? but maybe only love a handful.
Females on the other hand do not love the person, they love what the person can do for them. They love that a man compliments them, offers financial security, can give them an orgasm, can buy them things. They don't love you.
Think it's a game? Next time your girl say she love you, ask her what she loves about you. 9 out of 10 it's gonna be something that you do for her, you make her happy, you make her feel special she loves you because You love her. Her love is transactional
How does this translate into marriage and divorce? Most women decide marriage partners on the ability of the mate to provide resources and stability. Females are security first at that time. The reason why females initiate divorce a majority of the time is because they feel their mate is no longer providing those physical needs, secondly, she feels that someone else obtainable can provide better for her, or lastly, through the state she can secure resources from the man while no longer being married to him.
Why can females do this So easily? Because they never loved you in the first place, they loved your resources what you can do for them.
Ok I have a couple questions...and this is for everybody not just you, zuko.
@ bolded...somebody posted in this thread that marriage isn't working out right now because gender roles are ? up....to which a lot of ppl agreed with. BUT in traditional relationships/marriages, the man's role was to protect his wife/family/home and be the provider. That's literally how biology designed us to be...why shouldn't women be seeking that out in a man?
So if your husband isn't protecting his family, by that standard of upholding gender roles, why shouldn't she leave? By that same token, if a wife isn't maintaining you/the home/yalls kids, the husband should leave. Are we supposed to be holding each other accountable for not following through on our agreement to each other or nah?
a lot of ? like to wax poetic about grandma and granddad staying together despite him cheating or whatever tf else, when reality is there weren't any options for grandma to leave if she wanted to.
hmmmm.
I think leaving should be an option...but not if the character of the person is different from the circumstances.
if a guy loses his job from being laid off...yet he's is not OK with being out of work and actively goes out to seek employment daily...an is not OK with colleting unemployment.. should she still be looking at the door if he held it down for a decade but been ouuta work for a year?
should the female hold down the home, without complaint until he gets back on his feet since the character of the man was putting family first? -
EmM HoLLa. wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »Majority of men aren't understanding what the problem is because of a basic failure to understand the difference between how men love and women love.
Men love the person. We can ? for anyone but when we let ourselves love a ? It's because we see something about her that we want in our lives. Most times it's her displaying some maternal ? that subconsciously remind us of our mothers. (Men marry their mothers or mother like figure)
Men will ? a lot of ? but maybe only love a handful.
Females on the other hand do not love the person, they love what the person can do for them. They love that a man compliments them, offers financial security, can give them an orgasm, can buy them things. They don't love you.
Think it's a game? Next time your girl say she love you, ask her what she loves about you. 9 out of 10 it's gonna be something that you do for her, you make her happy, you make her feel special she loves you because You love her. Her love is transactional
How does this translate into marriage and divorce? Most women decide marriage partners on the ability of the mate to provide resources and stability. Females are security first at that time. The reason why females initiate divorce a majority of the time is because they feel their mate is no longer providing those physical needs, secondly, she feels that someone else obtainable can provide better for her, or lastly, through the state she can secure resources from the man while no longer being married to him.
Why can females do this So easily? Because they never loved you in the first place, they loved your resources what you can do for them.
I been Tryna say this the whole thread ya know? Seems like we are saying the same thing but from different angles.. I agree with all of this..
These women ain't sticking around for nobodies BS.. They'll ? and suck whomever no matter the reputation it gives then until they find what/who makes them happy.. And they'll keep a little from each past ? as insurance and the courts back up this behavior..
emm? did you jump ship on me?
No I've been trying to say all thread we must deal in reality.. That these women are only loyal to what's important to them.. If you aren't handling your business at home expect that woman to leave.. These women don't mind jumping from relationship to relationship.. And as men we must know this and move accordingly especially if marriage is on the table..
The game don't stop once u put a ring on it.. In fact it is just beginning..
Only thing I want to add to this.. Is that ALL women aren't necessarily looking to abandon ship once they think they can get the next best thing.. Let's not paint ALL women like this.. But this is very very common...
The ALL women comment doesn't even bother me...it's the notion of acting like these things are exclusive to women. Men upgrade all the ? time. Let's not act like none of us have seen 50+ yr old divorced ? that be running around with 22 yr old girlfriends. -
atribecalledgabi wrote: »Majority of men aren't understanding what the problem is because of a basic failure to understand the difference between how men love and women love.
Men love the person. We can ? for anyone but when we let ourselves love a ? It's because we see something about her that we want in our lives. Most times it's her displaying some maternal ? that subconsciously remind us of our mothers. (Men marry their mothers or mother like figure)
Men will ? a lot of ? but maybe only love a handful.
Females on the other hand do not love the person, they love what the person can do for them. They love that a man compliments them, offers financial security, can give them an orgasm, can buy them things. They don't love you.
Think it's a game? Next time your girl say she love you, ask her what she loves about you. 9 out of 10 it's gonna be something that you do for her, you make her happy, you make her feel special she loves you because You love her. Her love is transactional
How does this translate into marriage and divorce? Most women decide marriage partners on the ability of the mate to provide resources and stability. Females are security first at that time. The reason why females initiate divorce a majority of the time is because they feel their mate is no longer providing those physical needs, secondly, she feels that someone else obtainable can provide better for her, or lastly, through the state she can secure resources from the man while no longer being married to him.
Why can females do this So easily? Because they never loved you in the first place, they loved your resources what you can do for them.
Ok I have a couple questions...and this is for everybody not just you, zuko.
@ bolded...somebody posted in this thread that marriage isn't working out right now because gender roles are ? up....to which a lot of ppl agreed with. BUT in traditional relationships/marriages, the man's role was to protect his wife/family/home and be the provider. That's literally how biology designed us to be...why shouldn't women be seeking that out in a man?
So if your husband isn't protecting his family, by that standard of upholding gender roles, why shouldn't she leave? By that same token, if a wife isn't maintaining you/the home/yalls kids, the husband should leave. Are we supposed to be holding each other accountable for not following through on our agreement to each other or nah?
a lot of ? like to wax poetic about grandma and granddad staying together despite him cheating or whatever tf else, when reality is there weren't any options for grandma to leave if she wanted to.
as for granddad....he most likely took care of everything an granny wanted for nothing... but let's not act like grannies did creep out as well. even with all that was given. those type convos i i stay out of..just cuz cheating is not always what it seems.
an as for gender roles.....so does income change the rules of the roles? a man can't be head of household if he doesn't bring in income? does the woman now control an dictate? biology seems to lose its grip with income status. many friends divorced an problems an lack of respect came when the woman made more but then society asks why are men afraid to be with a woman who makes more...... -
atribecalledgabi wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »Majority of men aren't understanding what the problem is because of a basic failure to understand the difference between how men love and women love.
Men love the person. We can ? for anyone but when we let ourselves love a ? It's because we see something about her that we want in our lives. Most times it's her displaying some maternal ? that subconsciously remind us of our mothers. (Men marry their mothers or mother like figure)
Men will ? a lot of ? but maybe only love a handful.
Females on the other hand do not love the person, they love what the person can do for them. They love that a man compliments them, offers financial security, can give them an orgasm, can buy them things. They don't love you.
Think it's a game? Next time your girl say she love you, ask her what she loves about you. 9 out of 10 it's gonna be something that you do for her, you make her happy, you make her feel special she loves you because You love her. Her love is transactional
How does this translate into marriage and divorce? Most women decide marriage partners on the ability of the mate to provide resources and stability. Females are security first at that time. The reason why females initiate divorce a majority of the time is because they feel their mate is no longer providing those physical needs, secondly, she feels that someone else obtainable can provide better for her, or lastly, through the state she can secure resources from the man while no longer being married to him.
Why can females do this So easily? Because they never loved you in the first place, they loved your resources what you can do for them.
I been Tryna say this the whole thread ya know? Seems like we are saying the same thing but from different angles.. I agree with all of this..
These women ain't sticking around for nobodies BS.. They'll ? and suck whomever no matter the reputation it gives then until they find what/who makes them happy.. And they'll keep a little from each past ? as insurance and the courts back up this behavior..
emm? did you jump ship on me?
No I've been trying to say all thread we must deal in reality.. That these women are only loyal to what's important to them.. If you aren't handling your business at home expect that woman to leave.. These women don't mind jumping from relationship to relationship.. And as men we must know this and move accordingly especially if marriage is on the table..
The game don't stop once u put a ring on it.. In fact it is just beginning..
Only thing I want to add to this.. Is that ALL women aren't necessarily looking to abandon ship once they think they can get the next best thing.. Let's not paint ALL women like this.. But this is very very common...
The ALL women comment doesn't even bother me...it's the notion of acting like these things are exclusive to women. Men upgrade all the ? time. Let's not act like none of us have seen 50+ yr old divorced ? that be running around with 22 yr old girlfriends.
? def move on.. Especially after the kids are grown and out of the house.. This is a fact.. This also goes back to my comment earlier on about unrealistic expectations.. And people not really knowing what they are getting into.. If you say for life.. It's for life.. If you aint ready for that kind of commitment you gotta fall back.. -
an why we bringing up slave time and the 40s ? ?
are chicks really using someone else's relationship to power they motives?
cuz papop cheated on nanna....? ainy ? .
did chicks ever think the men were beat down so much then come home to fukkery....drinking and/or a patient freaky non needy side chick was there escape from reality. -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »hmmmm.
I think leaving should be an option...but not if the character of the person is different from the circumstances.
if a guy loses his job from being laid off...yet he's is not OK with being out of work and actively goes out to seek employment daily...an is not OK with colleting unemployment.. should she still be looking at the door if he held it down for a decade but been ouuta work for a year?
should the female hold down the home, without complaint until he gets back on his feet since the character of the man was putting family first?
Of course you should give each other time to get out of a hole. That's a given. But that's not really what I'm talking about...my point was that either gender roles are being misconstrued or they're not. If they are, then we're going against the natural order of women nurturing and making the house the man provided a home. If they're not, then it shouldn't be wrong for women to seek out who they feel is the *best provider*.
*finding the best provider is where I feel like some women ? up at...there was a poster who shall remain unnamed (he don't even post here no more but just in case he be lurkin I don't wana give him the satisfaction of thinkin i think he's smart lol) years ago who said this - "there's always someone 'better' but that's not what love/relationships are about"...point being, "the best" might not be what's best for you. Ppl wana be in the fast lane but the middle lane will take you exactly where you need to go also.*
But to your point, I can't really give a time table. I'm not married so I can't say what somebody else should or shouldn't put up with for whatever amount of time... -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »an why we bringing up slave time and the 40s ? ?
are chicks really using someone else's relationship to power they motives?
cuz papop cheated on nanna....? ainy ? .
did chicks ever think the men were beat down so much then come home to fukkery....drinking and/or a patient freaky non needy side chick was there escape from reality.
Lmaooooo nah all that ? matters. But ppl will cite how divorce rates of today are much higher than in those times...will romanticize about how much worse it was back then but they still stayed together. But if a lot of those couples from back then had the options we have now, ? woulda been getting divorced left and right. -
atribecalledgabi wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »hmmmm.
I think leaving should be an option...but not if the character of the person is different from the circumstances.
if a guy loses his job from being laid off...yet he's is not OK with being out of work and actively goes out to seek employment daily...an is not OK with colleting unemployment.. should she still be looking at the door if he held it down for a decade but been ouuta work for a year?
should the female hold down the home, without complaint until he gets back on his feet since the character of the man was putting family first?
Of course you should give each other time to get out of a hole. That's a given. But that's not really what I'm talking about...my point was that either gender roles are being misconstrued or they're not. If they are, then we're going against the natural order of women nurturing and making the house the man provided a home. If they're not, then it shouldn't be wrong for women to seek out who they feel is the *best provider*.
*finding the best provider is where I feel like some women ? up at...there was a poster who shall remain unnamed (he don't even post here no more but just in case he be lurkin I don't wana give him the satisfaction of thinkin i think he's smart lol) years ago who said this - "there's always someone 'better' but that's not what love/relationships are about"...point being, "the best" might not be what's best for you. Ppl wana be in the fast lane but the middle lane will take you exactly where you need to go also.*
But to your point, I can't really give a time table. I'm not married so I can't say what somebody else should or shouldn't put up with for whatever amount of time...
this kinda goes to to my point a page or so back. I know my wife always runs into better but is it right for her...
.but life is like the sims.....you start off with 100 points an 10 sections to place them in. you might be good in some places but lacking in others. finding who compliments you is key.
but if a ? aint tryin to do ? ...yes she should leave. broken promises.... yes leave. but it shouldn't be about what's better vs what's needed. -
LEMZIMUS_RAMSEY wrote: »Majority of men aren't understanding what the problem is because of a basic failure to understand the difference between how men love and women love.
Men love the person. We can ? for anyone but when we let ourselves love a ? It's because we see something about her that we want in our lives. Most times it's her displaying some maternal ? that subconsciously remind us of our mothers. (Men marry their mothers or mother like figure)
Men will ? a lot of ? but maybe only love a handful.
Females on the other hand do not love the person, they love what the person can do for them. They love that a man compliments them, offers financial security, can give them an orgasm, can buy them things. They don't love you.
Think it's a game? Next time your girl say she love you, ask her what she loves about you. 9 out of 10 it's gonna be something that you do for her, you make her happy, you make her feel special she loves you because You love her. Her love is transactional
How does this translate into marriage and divorce? Most women decide marriage partners on the ability of the mate to provide resources and stability. Females are security first at that time. The reason why females initiate divorce a majority of the time is because they feel their mate is no longer providing those physical needs, secondly, she feels that someone else obtainable can provide better for her, or lastly, through the state she can secure resources from the man while no longer being married to him.
Why can females do this So easily? Because they never loved you in the first place, they loved your resources what you can do for them.
There are some hard truths in what you said.
Yet not all the females are wired like this.
ITS ABOUT THE EDUCATION. Most women, until they reach menaupose, are educated in a sense that they are convinced that THEY DESERVE ALL THATS BEST IN THE WORLD JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE FRESH AND BEAUTIFULL.
If they start crying, daddy comes at the rescue.
When they walk near a door, a man will hold it
When they near a seat, a man will hold/ give his seat.
When they dont have something, a man will provide it for them
When a ship is sinking, women first and men later
When there is war , no women on the front lines
Etc...
Hence the behavior of most women, wether they work or not. Its rare but it exist women who are not educated this way. Blessed is the man who criss their path and catch them. But for the majority you will encouter the oaformentioned behavior.
But life is a ? . Once they HIT THE WALL and see their youth disapearing OVERNIGHT, the get a reality check : all the super attention was because of their physical freshness.
For some women its ADULTHOOD TIME. For the others ITS A NIGHMARE. Hence the cougar/ oversexual behavior.
All that to say that we are all responsible about women general behavior. We educate them, we treat them like QUEENS/ PRINCESSES/IRRESPONSIBLE/INNOCENT beings... as long as they are fuckable.
In some way we cannot complain about what we create.
No. What you're describing is chivalry and that is less than 1000 years ago.
What I'm describing is evolutionary psychology and can be witnessed in other mammalian species.
