What Affects A Person More Growing Up?
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TayGettem
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Me and my homie was having a debate. Well not a debate really but he was kind of jokin/serious i think. Anyway he made some commits about how i had ot easier growing up because i had both parents in my life and he only had one. Then he went on to say im rich cuz i live in a bigger house. An cuz my family got alittle money.......i felt offended cuz i never act like i got money nor do i hold it over anyone's head. Plus its not my money its my parents money. Ya i got a allowance growing up and got most of the ? i wanted during Christmas but how is that my fault. Cause when i reached a certain age i did have to go get a job and work for ? just like everyone else. All im sayin is nobody picks what there born into or who there born to. I just feel like instead of making statements towards me he needs to ask his mom why she made the poor choices she made to put him in the position he's in growing up. ik people with more money than me and both parents and 1 parent who have there head stuck up there ass. An ik people with both parents and 1 parent who grew up struggling that also have there head stuck up there ? . I've seen people from good homes and wealth and people from bad homes and no wealth both blow and take the opportunities that where laid in front of them.
Im just wondering in your opinion what really makes a person the way they are "parenting, money, environment...etc" i mean sure they can influence your choices but its still up to your mind to make choices in life.
Im just wondering in your opinion what really makes a person the way they are "parenting, money, environment...etc" i mean sure they can influence your choices but its still up to your mind to make choices in life.
Comments
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combination of society and parenting.
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Money creates better opportunities, and is more forgiving than 2 broke parents.
And who a person is going to be is partly defined when they're born. Attentive parents, educated and (not necessarily formal education either) parents and financial freedom gives them a chance to step into their purpose and strengths, and not be left with limited choices.
Imagine playing Tetris and getting a block that won't fit anywhere where it's dropping, growing up being broke with no opportunity is like that, you're on limited time so you just do some ? , weather it fits or not.
Disclaimer: My lens is different. I grew up with no internet, so what I saw was what I saw. -
I mean he's right, but you're right in that you're not to blame. You are blessed though.
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Everything affects people differently.
We are all experiments where one variable creates infinite possibilities and outcomes.
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Poverty
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It's the amount of love you get from those around you. Love and support, poverty and or well off can have their affects as far as a few things. But often you'll see people come from modest beginnings, grow up with confidence and security based off the love provided. And are successful because they have a positive outlook, added to the fact that they have been through a lot. It usually takes a whole lot to get them to the point of feeling overwhelmed.
Then you have people who come from well off beginnings. But didn't receive much love, usually from parents being to busy with work. That they end up valuing "things" more than substantive values. And all it takes is to have those "things" taken away from them and they feel overwhelmed.
So rich, poor, hood, burbs, what matters most is the love and security you feel from those closest to u. -
What sex and color is the person affected?
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It ain't your fault you had two parents these fatherless ? stay pointing the finger at ? with two parents when they need to be blaming they thotty moms for her poor choice in men. With that said
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The thing with those kind of people is that they'll use that as an excuse for a reason why they can't progress in life.
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I mean he's right, but you're right in that you're not to blame. You are blessed though.
Ik its just how it came out the blue that bothers me. The whole situation occurred cuz i dropped some weed out a blunt. Then he say "damn tay don't waste all da weed we aint all got two parents and a trust fund like u".
That statement made me look at him sideways cuz i feel thats what he really thinks of me. But I've neva had a trust fund nor do i ask my parents to bail me out of anything i get myself into. He said that ? like i ain't the same person who use to always get into fights and got sent to alternative school. An the one time i did get arrested my folks had to put up the house to bail me out and my 1st car was a ford focus ya my parents gave it to me but it was still trash idk where this rich ? he sayin came from -
People think because you grew up in a certain environment means that you are automatically more equipped to deal with success/hardships so on and so forth being on those environments.. while it can be true. At the end of it all its the person these situations dont breed one size fit all outcomes.. there are no absolutes..
it depends on what the person gravitates to.. how they react to certain circumstances, their mental make up so on and so forth. Some times the pull of outside influences is greater than whats home.. and that depends on the individual strengths and weaknesses -
Its sad your homie (or you) don't respect the fact that your parents did what they had to do for their fam and was successful at it.
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Jay vs the menedez brothers.
single mom vs both parents
1 came from nothing to wealthy vs two that was born wealthy an now have nothing.
single parent still alive vs two that killed their parents
single broken household won
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I mean he's right, but you're right in that you're not to blame. You are blessed though.
Ik its just how it came out the blue that bothers me. The whole situation occurred cuz i dropped some weed out a blunt. Then he say "damn tay don't waste all da weed we aint all got two parents and a trust fund like u".
That statement made me look at him sideways cuz i feel thats what he really thinks of me. But I've neva had a trust fund nor do i ask my parents to bail me out of anything i get myself into. He said that ? like i ain't the same person who use to always get into fights and got sent to alternative school. An the one time i did get arrested my folks had to put up the house to bail me out and my 1st car was a ford focus ya my parents gave it to me but it was still trash idk where this rich ? he sayin came from
Maybe all that happened just as he was having a "wish my life had been better" thought. People are jealous of people with two parents and some extra cash. I wouldn't take it as offensive towards you, maybe he feels something missing within himself and since it's easier and feels better to lash out at someone else and get the feelings as far away from us as possible.
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You can put 10 different people in the same situation and everyone will/could handle it differently.
Some people are followers. Others are leaders.
Some people are mentally crippled by adversity. Others are driven by it.
Some people let life control them. Others take control of their own destiny.
Some people squander their opportunities and take their blessings for granted. Others appreciate just being given one more day to make tomorrow better.
Growing up I've seen people who were born w/ a silver spoon in their mouth and died w/ a bullet in their head.
I grew up in a not so favorable environment where some of my friends flourished and others are still in the same place 30+ years later. I had friends whose parents did everything for them....provided for them...disciplined them....taught them right from wrong......and them ? still ended up in prison behind some dumb ? .
Your environment can expose you to and teach you many things, but it ultimately doesn't have to be what defines who you are as a person.
I'm the type of person who will make lemonade out of lemons. If there's something that I want, I examine all of my options and figure out the best way to get it. If someone puts an obstacle in front of me, I find a way to overcome that obstacle. I consider the long and short term consequences of every choice that I make and move such that my actions bring me closer to my goals. Time spent complaining is time wasted. That same energy could have been spent on bettering your situation. I am appreciative of the things that I am given and the things that I work hard to earn. I try to find the positive in every negative situation. Everybody is different though. One of the most frustrating things to me is to see people who are their own worst enemies. They will either complain about the cards that they were dealt or ignore the privileges/opportunities they were afforded by birth. They will make every excuse in the world for why their "situation" is holding them back.....blame others instead of taking accountability for their own actions, etc. Obviously some people are born into more favorable/stable environments, but I truly believe that (for better or worse) life is what you make it. -
I mean he's right, but you're right in that you're not to blame. You are blessed though.
Ik its just how it came out the blue that bothers me. The whole situation occurred cuz i dropped some weed out a blunt. Then he say "damn tay don't waste all da weed we aint all got two parents and a trust fund like u".
That statement made me look at him sideways cuz i feel thats what he really thinks of me. But I've neva had a trust fund nor do i ask my parents to bail me out of anything i get myself into. He said that ? like i ain't the same person who use to always get into fights and got sent to alternative school. An the one time i did get arrested my folks had to put up the house to bail me out and my 1st car was a ford focus ya my parents gave it to me but it was still trash idk where this rich ? he sayin came from
Yeah he sounds a little bitter, that would have caught me off guard too. Be careful, envious friends can easily become secret enemies. -
shut yo punk ass up t/s lol......
nah but I felt the same about those kids....its natural....we all want what we dont have, or at least wonder what its like
in my opinion, real parenting combined with money absolutely does better for children in the long run as far as "raising" them.....you can be the worlds greatest parent w/ all the values and morals and time in the world but there are things you just wont be able to share with them or do for them without money
and thats not to say disposable cash for toys and clothes growing up...im talking about life insurance, college funds, family businesses, properties, etc....generational wealth
a whole lot of people dont know ? about that, myself included.....but by me meeting and gaining relationships with people who did come from that, I see that it is a completely different world...
on a simple note, some start the class w/ an "A" and only have to work to keep it.......most others start w/ that "F" and have no idea how to even get in position to work toward that "A"
I understand a person can have a good home and money and still be dumb, careless, self centered, whatever else and end up worse off than those that didnt have anything, but that ? is rare
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fortyacres wrote: »combination of society and parenting.
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Cut ya mans off. Ya homie flashed his true colors for you. ? get left every day cuz one of the guys jealous for one reason or another.
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Enviornment included parenting and finances so lets just go with that.
Everyones opinions are shaped by their upbringing. After all, all we are is the the sum of out experiences. -
And dont ever let someones misery make you feel that you need to sink to their level for the sake of empathy.
Law 10: INFECTION; AVOID THE UNHAPPY AND UNLUCKY.
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? i remember in high school had friends who never knew their father. Could never vent about problems i had at home to them bc of the same ? .
"At least u have both parents"
"U dont know how easy u got it u sound spoiled, etc"
That'd be like me comin at them when they have problems sayin "at least u have your mother some ppl have no parents at all"
Plus i known some ppl to have both parents and a woat upbringing that scarred them for life.
And ppl in single parent homes that do well for themselves.
Its all some bitter ? if theyre ur true friends they'd handle that differently -
Bills
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I grew up with that same problem. I couldn't even bring people to my parent's house because it almost always ended up in them changing their opinion about me and us eventually fighting over them then starting to say ? they never said before like "soft," or "you wouldn't know cause you're rich." As long as I didn't show them my parent's house this never came up.
Overall to answer your question I think parents and environment are equal. Some people will be who they are no matter what environment they are in or who their parents are OTHERS or the other 99% need a situation to be normalized; meaning you act or see things a certain way because you are influenced to believe it is the social norm and you achieve certain things because you don't want to be below the social means of what is considered acceptable. In other words to some extent everyone wants to enjoy life without being constantly looked at by all they know as a lame or loser or weirdo.
After saying all that I have to add something that I saw or at least hit me later in life that was very peculiar. It was the fact that many times it doesn't matter who you really are as much as how society has taught people to react and respond to people that resemble you. Resemblance/lookism can goes as far as you being talkative and funny but bc this society sees (let me just exaggerate to make a point) people with 13 fingers as not funny, not attractive, then people will give you certain looks, call you names, talk about you behind your back, possibly not hire you, not date you (or severely limit your dating options) and a host of other behaviors that the world will force upon you AND then BLAME you because you have to react to their abnormal condescending behavior in a way that any normal person/such as your 13 finger-self would. That's the irony/hypocrisy of the world. Who it lets be is something very peculiar to me. The funny thing too is how so few people see that as a reality although it is plain to see.
Of course certain qualities circumvent biases, but that is not to be confused with actually changing those biases.
When you live in different cultures this point I'm making is magnified very quickly: what is cool over here ain't cool over there. Some people who are talkative here are considered rude, annoying and ignorant there. Some people who have weight issues here are acceptable and considered attractive but over there they are considered morbidly obese and disgusting. Some societies value humor others value wisdom and serious thoughtful responses.
How people Interpret what is acceptable concerning Ego's versus characteristics is what I am talking about. -
Me and my homie was having a debate. Well not a debate really but he was kind of jokin/serious i think. Anyway he made some commits about how i had ot easier growing up because i had both parents in my life and he only had one. Then he went on to say im rich cuz i live in a bigger house. An cuz my family got alittle money.......i felt offended cuz i never act like i got money nor do i hold it over anyone's head. Plus its not my money its my parents money. Ya i got a allowance growing up and got most of the ? i wanted during Christmas but how is that my fault. Cause when i reached a certain age i did have to go get a job and work for ? just like everyone else. All im sayin is nobody picks what there born into or who there born to. I just feel like instead of making statements towards me he needs to ask his mom why she made the poor choices she made to put him in the position he's in growing up. ik people with more money than me and both parents and 1 parent who have there head stuck up there ass. An ik people with both parents and 1 parent who grew up struggling that also have there head stuck up there ? . I've seen people from good homes and wealth and people from bad homes and no wealth both blow and take the opportunities that where laid in front of them.
Im just wondering in your opinion what really makes a person the way they are "parenting, money, environment...etc" i mean sure they can influence your choices but its still up to your mind to make choices in life.
It's both. I'm watching this play out in my life right now.My parents split when I was young. Had shared custody at times, then my mum moved across the country and I didn't see her often as i lived with my dad. He was not the person who should have been raising me: drugs, criminal past, poor education, constant financial struggles, and I was in trouble w/ the law a lot. After HS i got a job offer w/ my step father doing construction. He had a more typical upbringing, both parents, etc. I took my ass to school, even though I had struggle grades in everything except music and English in HS, and i'm killing it rn @ a really high-ranking university. This all came due to my family here being more stable and better, off. Even though they never paid for my schooling, being able to get the job from my fam enabled me to pay for my undergrad without loans. My entire quality of life went up, and that's important as I noticed something: our lives kind of build momentum. If things go bad they tend to go bad for awhile. When it rains it pours. But when you're up you tend to be on a streak for a bit. It's easier to make good moves after making a series of good moves, and it's easier to get to a better position when you're already in a good one. The education and upbringing you have may give you the tools to climb, but if you're not in a good spot to make that move then the tools aren't very useful.
