For all my people here that DON'T have children.
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Shuffington wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »Shuffington wrote: »Im just waiting on marriage. I know too many of the homies with baby mama problems and I dont want my child going through that. And im not cool with the ready made families these women already have
All kidding aside, A ready made family is not that bad.
You can splurge out of control on the baby daddies child support checks.
I mean she probably wasting it on herself anyway.
Poor kid don't know the difference between Apple Jacks and Apple Jackson's.
If all else fails, you can dip out and do you...take all the freebies you acquired during your stay.... win win.
I can't co-sign this.. How is this a win? How can you feel accomplished taking from a single Mom.. Or from her ex?
Real men don't take from women.. Let alone take from her ex.. Real men grind and get they own bread.. 10 toes down..
How can you not cosign this wisdom.... first of all... Miss me with the "real men" talk.... I don't understand that talk.
Nextly,You're not taking anything from ol girl with child....
My Dude, ......... you are the gift.
She doesn't have to worry about you having a wild crazy baby moms thats steadily trying to ? your pockets, because, whats hers is hers and whats yours is hers... and she can finally say she found a guy that she doesn't have to split with another woman... at least financially
All Jokes aside, I hear single moms talking about how they don't want a dude with kids...
what???
lol this ? said "i dont understand that talk" hahahah
im dead.. -
Lol.. Yo @Shuffington you know u slime lmao.. Own your slimyness Hahaha.. You still my ? tho..
As far as a single Mom wanting a man without kids.. Thats on her.. I can't speak on other people's preferences... If a dude is cool with her situation and is happy with her who am I to judge.. -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
I beg to differ.
I raised my kids more than their mothers did. I did everything..... swim class, girl scout. instrument lessons, period dinner to celebrate her womsnhood, homework, cook dinner. pack lunch, buy groceries, parent teacher meetings....I did it all while building an empire, holding together a marraige an navigating the world being a black man.
I did it cuz the mothers could not grow up and wasn't the woman I wanted my kids to be raised by...so I did it myself up until my wife stepped in to help. even then...I did 80% of everything
You went above and beyond what you should have had to do.. In some respects you played Mom and Dad.. It's commendable.. You shouldn't have had to do that.. But you made it happen.. Salute for that.. -
to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
Yeah, @Kai .
Some people in here are lying.
They know good and damn well if they had it to do over again............they wouldn't have had kids.
Regret, bitterness, and resentment.
Name names, lil dusty ? . -
Elzo69Renaissance wrote: »I'll probably get this girl pregnant with how she looks within 5 months and thats fine I always wanted a kid.
? ? me with the whole "I cant do w/e I want or travel to madagascar now with a kid"
First off, You wasnt going anyways
Second, If having a kid stops you from traveling forever than thats your fault
Foh I'm talking to my brother and he tells me every time he travels it's at least 10 gs cuz it's him, his wife and my nephew....and they travel at least 3 times a yr....I aint ready for that type of output
The kid ain't stop him from traveling though. ? like STEW think those trips to morrocco that he been planning just gonna stop lol
And how do you know this again? Or u just taking a wild guess at what my life would turn into.
All I'm saying is, kids ain't gonna halt things for you unless you allow it too. Take that bass out your keyboard B lol
:joy: yea, ok. Let us know how that goes when u decide to have one. -
BOSSExcellence wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
I beg to differ.
I raised my kids more than their mothers did. I did everything..... swim class, girl scout. instrument lessons, period dinner to celebrate her womsnhood, homework, cook dinner. pack lunch, buy groceries, parent teacher meetings....I did it all while building an empire, holding together a marraige an navigating the world being a black man.
I did it cuz the mothers could not grow up and wasn't the woman I wanted my kids to be raised by...so I did it myself up until my wife stepped in to help. even then...I did 80% of everything
im glad i kept readin and saw the bolded cause i was jus about to say u did all that cause u chose to have kids wit some aint ? ? . lol
what EmM said was correct..
thats how its suppose to be..
but in the same breath u suppose to have kids wit someone worth a damn. lol
i can and will always admit.... I was young an stupid. I can't blame them. I blame myself.
but I also look at life like this. you finish how you start.
I went hard to get the ass, I went hard to get the ? , I went hard up in the ? ...now I gotta go hard at what came out the ? . I'm my eyes I had no other option than to give them the best, if I gave my best to get the ass. an if anything tried to stop the train...they get ran the fukk over. I never understood how people can go hard at everything but their kids. but I do now for other reasons.
my kids deserved the best, even with aint ? mothers. -
Elzo69Renaissance wrote: »I'll probably get this girl pregnant with how she looks within 5 months and thats fine I always wanted a kid.
? ? me with the whole "I cant do w/e I want or travel to madagascar now with a kid"
First off, You wasnt going anyways
Second, If having a kid stops you from traveling forever than thats your fault
Foh I'm talking to my brother and he tells me every time he travels it's at least 10 gs cuz it's him, his wife and my nephew....and they travel at least 3 times a yr....I aint ready for that type of output
The kid ain't stop him from traveling though. ? like STEW think those trips to morrocco that he been planning just gonna stop lol
And how do you know this again? Or u just taking a wild guess at what my life would turn into.
All I'm saying is, kids ain't gonna halt things for you unless you allow it too. Take that bass out your keyboard B lol
:joy: yea, ok. Let us know how that goes when u decide to have one.
MFers with kids BEEN in here saying the same ? , you just ain't trying to hear it. -
a woman wanting a man without kids.....cause she wants all his attention, time and money.
them hoes don't want to share -
Elzo69Renaissance wrote: »I'll probably get this girl pregnant with how she looks within 5 months and thats fine I always wanted a kid.
? ? me with the whole "I cant do w/e I want or travel to madagascar now with a kid"
First off, You wasnt going anyways
Second, If having a kid stops you from traveling forever than thats your fault
Foh I'm talking to my brother and he tells me every time he travels it's at least 10 gs cuz it's him, his wife and my nephew....and they travel at least 3 times a yr....I aint ready for that type of output
The kid ain't stop him from traveling though. ? like STEW think those trips to morrocco that he been planning just gonna stop lol
And how do you know this again? Or u just taking a wild guess at what my life would turn into.
All I'm saying is, kids ain't gonna halt things for you unless you allow it too. Take that bass out your keyboard B lol
:joy: yea, ok. Let us know how that goes when u decide to have one.
MFers with kids BEEN in here saying the same ? , you just ain't trying to hear it.
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to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
Yeah, @Kai .
Some people in here are lying.
They know good and damn well if they had it to do over again............they wouldn't have had kids.
Regret, bitterness, and resentment.
Name names
@Kat
Stop being so sensitive Kathryn.
That wasn't a personal attack on anyone in particular.
It was more of a general statement regarding "some" people with kids..........on and off the board........who, if they were being honest with themselves, would acknowledge that although they love their kids and consider them a blessing..........they, at times, wish they didn't have them.
There was even a thread on this a few months ago regarding women who secretly wished they didn't have kids, but were too ashamed to admit it publicly.
They told their stories anonymously in some magazine/website or something. -
to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
There's a bunch of ? in life that takes up time and energy. Some people just choose to devote that to their children. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids at all. I'm a strong proponent of not everyone should be or is meant to be a parent...but every time this topic comes up Kai you seem to take a real tone of talking down on anyone who expressed joy in having their kids. Like the concept of someone actually enjoying raising a child is just a foreign concept that nobody is actually truly happy about. Life in general has things and people you have to be responsible for. It has things that will require time and attention to where you can't always just get up and go if you want. ? if you don't have kids but you have a job can you just up and leave your job at the drop of a hat, or do you have to put in for time off and plan in advance for a vacation? Everybody's life is controlled in a way by something...and it's not the worst thing in the world for some people to have a portion of their lives controlled by raising their kids. -
Elzo69Renaissance wrote: »I'll probably get this girl pregnant with how she looks within 5 months and thats fine I always wanted a kid.
? ? me with the whole "I cant do w/e I want or travel to madagascar now with a kid"
First off, You wasnt going anyways
Second, If having a kid stops you from traveling forever than thats your fault
Foh I'm talking to my brother and he tells me every time he travels it's at least 10 gs cuz it's him, his wife and my nephew....and they travel at least 3 times a yr....I aint ready for that type of output
The kid ain't stop him from traveling though. ? like STEW think those trips to morrocco that he been planning just gonna stop lol
And how do you know this again? Or u just taking a wild guess at what my life would turn into.
All I'm saying is, kids ain't gonna halt things for you unless you allow it too. Take that bass out your keyboard B lol
:joy: yea, ok. Let us know how that goes when u decide to have one.
Give me until this time next year -
I'll be 35 in month and child-free. I never really don't see myself fathering any children at this point in my life. I have CP (disability) and I'm struggling to put my life together as it is and I've had a lot of set backs in my life since I was in my 20's but I've also had some success in certain areas in my life. Another thing is their is a lot of uncertainty with relationships today and I would prefer to find a woman without any kids (that's asking a lot) that share the same ideas/values as I do. A lot of these women out here I just don't understand. It's just that at this point in life I feel like if I ain't got kids by 40 then I'm just ride off into the "sunset" and live my life (if the Lord willing).
Having kids is a big sacrifice and responsibility and your life as you know it is over (socially). I don't want to have kids because of the society we live in now & because once you become a parent you are financially/legally responsible for anything they do out in the real world. I've been witnessed to my mom taking in both of my cousins (at different times) when they were teens and that really made me look at parenting different.
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Ajackson17 wrote: »I'm 32 and I do not have any kids. I'm happy I don't because I have freedom in my life, but one day.
...WELL TECHNICALLY, U GOTTA GET ? TO HAVE KIDS... SO STOP ACTING LIKE ITS A CHOICE FOR U -
Ajackson17 wrote: »I'm 32 and I do not have any kids. I'm happy I don't because I have freedom in my life, but one day.
...WELL TECHNICALLY, U GOTTA GET ? TO HAVE KIDS... SO STOP ACTING LIKE ITS A CHOICE FOR U
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it aint that important the world is going to end anyway. i'm not going to bring a kid into the apocalypse.
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EmM HoLLa. wrote: »I'd suggest every ? in here get a bad chick as a friend.. Don't fall for her.. But just be the homie.. You'll learn a lot..
This is low-key one of the realest posts made. I have some friends that are baaaaadddd chicks and you learn not everything that glitters is gold for real. It'd be one thing if I had only one but this is a few of em that have you like dayum.
It's a goldmine of knowledge you learn just examining them and conversating about things.
Anytime this topic comes up majority of ? start yapping about how its impossible to be friends with an attractive woman and how they serve no purpose if they're not ? so this concept is lost to many -
willhustle wrote: »I'll be 35 in month and child-free. I never really don't see myself fathering any children at this point in my life. I have CP (disability) and I'm struggling to put my life together as it is and I've had a lot of set backs in my life since I was in my 20's but I've also had some success in certain areas in my life. Another thing is their is a lot of uncertainty with relationships today and I would prefer to find a woman without any kids (that's asking a lot) that share the same ideas/values as I do. A lot of these women out here I just don't understand. It's just that at this point in life I feel like if I ain't got kids by 40 then I'm just ride off into the "sunset" and live my life (if the Lord willing).
Having kids is a big sacrifice and responsibility and your life as you know it is over (socially). I don't want to have kids because of the society we live in now & because once you become a parent you are financially/legally responsible for anything they do out in the real world. I've been witnessed to my mom taking in both of my cousins (at different times) when they were teens and that really made me look at parenting different.
What's this idea that you no longer have a social life because you have kids? That's just a lie -
You don't have to be friends with a "bad chick" to learn anything.
Bad chick logic is mostly flawed due to how they look and don't even have game to share. -
Ah never mind.....
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Very late to the party but children do grow up. You don't change diapers and need sitters for their entire lives. I can say my children have certainly helped me grow as a man and a person. It's eye opening when you have to live what you teach.
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Shizlansky wrote: »You don't have to be friends with a "bad chick" to learn anything.
Bad chick logic is mostly flawed due to how they look and don't even have game to share.
smdh -
Shizlansky wrote: »You don't have to be friends with a "bad chick" to learn anything.
Bad chick logic is mostly flawed due to how they look and don't even have game to share.
You supposed to absorb the game..look at it as the game being sold and not told, but you witnessing itEmM HoLLa. wrote: »I'd suggest every ? in here get a bad chick as a friend.. Don't fall for her.. But just be the homie.. You'll learn a lot..
This is low-key one of the realest posts made. I have some friends that are baaaaadddd chicks and you learn not everything that glitters is gold for real. It'd be one thing if I had only one but this is a few of em that have you like dayum.
It's a goldmine of knowledge you learn just examining them and conversating about things.
Anytime this topic comes up majority of ? start yapping about how its impossible to be friends with an attractive woman and how they serve no purpose if they're not ? so this concept is lost to many
It's the lack of experience...I used to be one of those ? until I became friends with one....then it was like I lost my virginity all over again in the sense of me acting different...it was like I became enlightened.... -
Very late to the party but children do grow up. You don't change diapers and need sitters for their entire lives. I can say my children have certainly helped me grow as a man and a person. It's eye opening when you have to live what you teach.
Yeah that's another thing...people talk as if your kids never grow up and learn to do ? for themselves. They're not babies forever -
I told this in another thread
My friend met his wife(now ex) in a bar...they dated...she got pregnant...he felt he had to marry her...a year later than break up she takes the kid...he pays $1100 in alimony and $800 just to see his kid 1 hour supervision...the ? lied n told a judge hes a abusive ? n they took her word.....he so stressed he goes to a counselor...
thats his fault for getting a ? lawyer
