For all my people here that DON'T have children.
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EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
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BlackAX410 wrote: »Don't have any, don't want any if it happens it happens I don't wanna be 40 with my 1st kid if it happens, I'll throw my back out trynna hoop with him and ? lls
how old were you when you went "ooof" as you fell to the ground during that pickup game?
being 40 aint gon matter at all when you was doing it in ya early 20s
miss me with this Ax lol -
for those of you on your high horses tom bout waiting to get married, you do know that if ya'll have kids, and ya'll get divorced, for whatever reason, she is now your baby mama too right? or is she the mother of your children b/c you put a ring on it?
let me know so i can see if i need to visit 2sides.com
LOL at this ? .
A woman divorced is an ex wife. At least the man thought enough of the woman to marry her, that says a lot.
As opposed to a broad that got some juice dumped in her, then got dumped.
thats whats up sway
glad you got the answers -
EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
stopped reading at "zero hindrance"
who lives a life wit zero hindrance @Kai
zilch??!
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to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
There's a bunch of ? in life that takes up time and energy. Some people just choose to devote that to their children. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids at all. I'm a strong proponent of not everyone should be or is meant to be a parent...but every time this topic comes up Kai you seem to take a real tone of talking down on anyone who expressed joy in having their kids. Like the concept of someone actually enjoying raising a child is just a foreign concept that nobody is actually truly happy about. Life in general has things and people you have to be responsible for. It has things that will require time and attention to where you can't always just get up and go if you want. ? if you don't have kids but you have a job can you just up and leave your job at the drop of a hat, or do you have to put in for time off and plan in advance for a vacation? Everybody's life is controlled in a way by something...and it's not the worst thing in the world for some people to have a portion of their lives controlled by raising their kids.
i have never talked down on anyone choosing to be a parent. all i am expressing is when i think of all that time and energy spent on those things, they do not seem desirable or enjoyable in any way to me. it's like a visceral reaction in me. that's how i know i don't want kids, everything in me screams no at the thought of it.
my work life is something that actually does bring me joy. i can see how it would be someone else's worse nightmare to be in a lab all day or doing tedious research, but it makes me happy. i know if i had kids, i'd fall way behind and i'd rather dedicate my time to that than to having kids. on a sidenote, i really could up and walk away from any job whenever i wanted since my man supports me and i really only work/go to school for my own fulfillment.
maybe i've gotten to used to only having to do what i want in my life, iunno, i consider that a blessing. but my days are my work, taking care of my man then spend the rest of my free time in peace and quiet and how i want to. i think my life is perfect and i have no need or desire to change it in anyway.
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to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
There's a bunch of ? in life that takes up time and energy. Some people just choose to devote that to their children. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids at all. I'm a strong proponent of not everyone should be or is meant to be a parent...but every time this topic comes up Kai you seem to take a real tone of talking down on anyone who expressed joy in having their kids. Like the concept of someone actually enjoying raising a child is just a foreign concept that nobody is actually truly happy about. Life in general has things and people you have to be responsible for. It has things that will require time and attention to where you can't always just get up and go if you want. ? if you don't have kids but you have a job can you just up and leave your job at the drop of a hat, or do you have to put in for time off and plan in advance for a vacation? Everybody's life is controlled in a way by something...and it's not the worst thing in the world for some people to have a portion of their lives controlled by raising their kids.
i have never talked down on anyone choosing to be a parent. all i am expressing is when i think of all that time and energy spent on those things, they do not seem desirable or enjoyable in any way to me. it's like a visceral reaction in me. that's how i know i don't want kids, everything in me screams no at the thought of it.
my work life is something that actually does bring me joy. i can see how it would be someone else's worse nightmare to be in a lab all day or doing tedious research, but it makes me happy. i know if i had kids, i'd fall way behind and i'd rather dedicate my time to that than to having kids. on a sidenote, i really could up and walk away from any job whenever i wanted since my man supports me and i really only work/go to school for my own fulfillment.
maybe i've gotten to used to only having to do what i want in my life, iunno, i consider that a blessing. but my days are my work, taking care of my man then spend the rest of my free time in peace and quiet and how i want to. i think my life is perfect and i have no need or desire to change it in anyway.
thats cool and all, but why you ? on people with kids tho lol -
EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
I hear ya.. And I don't knock your stance.. Being self-aware is something a lot of folks are not.. You have enough self-awareness to know the you are not trying to go there.. And i respect it..
All I will say is that as humans we are constantly evolving.. I hope you never reach a point where you change your stance and then have to deal with complications involved with having children at an advanced age.. Overall I understand where you're coming from.. -
BOSSExcellence wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
stopped reading at "zero hindrance"
who lives a life wit zero hindrance @Kai
zilch??!
*raises hand*
i'm refering to the hindrance of having children, since those are avoidable and many others in life are not. now if you wanna say work or relationships can have hindrance, yes, but they are few and far between in comparison to children. i can leave a job or a relationship if i don't like the setbacks or time and energy it's taking out of my life. there's no way to unbecome a parent if you are one but resent it. like seriously, how ? up would it be of me to know how i feel about this but to have kids anyway cuz y'all are saying you get fulfillment out of it? that would make no sense
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Shizlansky wrote: »You don't have to be friends with a "bad chick" to learn anything.
Bad chick logic is mostly flawed due to how they look and don't even have game to share.
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Shizlansky wrote: »You don't have to be friends with a "bad chick" to learn anything.
Bad chick logic is mostly flawed due to how they look and don't even have game to share.
Clarification.
It's not that they'd be intentionally dropping game trying to school ? .
You'd moreso learn from them by the way they act and carry themselves.....the decisions they make.......and observing whether there's consistency between what they say and what they actually do.
But yeah, it's basically giving you an up close and personal look at bird logic. -
BOSSExcellence wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
stopped reading at "zero hindrance"
who lives a life wit zero hindrance @Kai
zilch??!
*raises hand*
i'm refering to the hindrance of having children, since those are avoidable and many others in life are not. now if you wanna say work or relationships can have hindrance, yes, but they are few and far between in comparison to children. i can leave a job or a relationship if i don't like the setbacks or time and energy it's taking out of my life. there's no way to unbecome a parent if you are one but resent it. like seriously, how ? up would it be of me to know how i feel about this but to have kids anyway cuz y'all are saying you get fulfillment out of it? that would make no sense
lol & smh ..oh okay..
say that then..
u hate ur stepchild huh!!? hahaha -
BOSSExcellence wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
stopped reading at "zero hindrance"
who lives a life wit zero hindrance @Kai
zilch??!
*raises hand*
i'm refering to the hindrance of having children, since those are avoidable and many others in life are not. now if you wanna say work or relationships can have hindrance, yes, but they are few and far between in comparison to children. i can leave a job or a relationship if i don't like the setbacks or time and energy it's taking out of my life. there's no way to unbecome a parent if you are one but resent it. like seriously, how ? up would it be of me to know how i feel about this but to have kids anyway cuz y'all are saying you get fulfillment out of it? that would make no sense
I'm not sure who's children you have seen...buy some kids need tins of attention and some don't need hardly any.
the word hindrance is very strong and you are painting with a big brush.
I am sure work and tour relationship took work to get to where you enjoy it cause at that point it's about cruising cause the hard work and boundaries been set.
same with kids except... they are joys from day one.
I also agree with emm
just be sure you are looking at this right. -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »BOSSExcellence wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
stopped reading at "zero hindrance"
who lives a life wit zero hindrance @Kai
zilch??!
*raises hand*
i'm refering to the hindrance of having children, since those are avoidable and many others in life are not. now if you wanna say work or relationships can have hindrance, yes, but they are few and far between in comparison to children. i can leave a job or a relationship if i don't like the setbacks or time and energy it's taking out of my life. there's no way to unbecome a parent if you are one but resent it. like seriously, how ? up would it be of me to know how i feel about this but to have kids anyway cuz y'all are saying you get fulfillment out of it? that would make no sense
I'm not sure who's children you have seen...buy some kids need tins of attention and some don't need hardly any.
the word hindrance is very strong and you are painting with a big brush.
I am sure work and tour relationship took work to get to where you enjoy it cause at that point it's about cruising cause the hard work and boundaries been set.
same with kids except... they are joys from day one.
I also agree with emm
just be sure you are looking at this right.
This is what I am stuck on. Our children haven't hindered my wife and I from doing exactly what we wanted to do. My wife and I have furthered our education, taken trips, and have continued to enjoy each others company. I am reading sis posts like WTF. Sounds like she's talking about raising chimps.
-
EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
I swear people who share these sensible sentiments would actually make the best parents. But the fact is, these days its ignorant/uneducated people who reproduce the most -
2stepz_ahead wrote: »BOSSExcellence wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
stopped reading at "zero hindrance"
who lives a life wit zero hindrance @Kai
zilch??!
*raises hand*
i'm refering to the hindrance of having children, since those are avoidable and many others in life are not. now if you wanna say work or relationships can have hindrance, yes, but they are few and far between in comparison to children. i can leave a job or a relationship if i don't like the setbacks or time and energy it's taking out of my life. there's no way to unbecome a parent if you are one but resent it. like seriously, how ? up would it be of me to know how i feel about this but to have kids anyway cuz y'all are saying you get fulfillment out of it? that would make no sense
I'm not sure who's children you have seen...buy some kids need tins of attention and some don't need hardly any.
the word hindrance is very strong and you are painting with a big brush.
I am sure work and tour relationship took work to get to where you enjoy it cause at that point it's about cruising cause the hard work and boundaries been set.
same with kids except... they are joys from day one.
I also agree with emm
just be sure you are looking at this right.
This is what I am stuck on. Our children haven't hindered my wife and I from doing exactly what we wanted to do. My wife and I have furthered our education, taken trips, and have continued to enjoy each others company. I am reading sis posts like WTF. Sounds like she's talking about raising chimps.
nah.. jus sounds like she hates kids.. cant have them or because she doesnt have any this is how she psyches herself out..
when u choose to have a child thats a responsibility u chose to have.. nothin hindering about it..
now if its an "oops" baby..
thats different..
NOW my damn dogs is a hindrance!!
i cant take them everywhere.. i cant be gone too long.. so on and so forth..
but a child?? nah..
-
EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
I swear people who share these sensible sentiments would actually make the best parents. But the fact is, these days its ignorant/uneducated people who reproduce the most
-
BOSSExcellence wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »BOSSExcellence wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
stopped reading at "zero hindrance"
who lives a life wit zero hindrance @Kai
zilch??!
*raises hand*
i'm refering to the hindrance of having children, since those are avoidable and many others in life are not. now if you wanna say work or relationships can have hindrance, yes, but they are few and far between in comparison to children. i can leave a job or a relationship if i don't like the setbacks or time and energy it's taking out of my life. there's no way to unbecome a parent if you are one but resent it. like seriously, how ? up would it be of me to know how i feel about this but to have kids anyway cuz y'all are saying you get fulfillment out of it? that would make no sense
I'm not sure who's children you have seen...buy some kids need tins of attention and some don't need hardly any.
the word hindrance is very strong and you are painting with a big brush.
I am sure work and tour relationship took work to get to where you enjoy it cause at that point it's about cruising cause the hard work and boundaries been set.
same with kids except... they are joys from day one.
I also agree with emm
just be sure you are looking at this right.
This is what I am stuck on. Our children haven't hindered my wife and I from doing exactly what we wanted to do. My wife and I have furthered our education, taken trips, and have continued to enjoy each others company. I am reading sis posts like WTF. Sounds like she's talking about raising chimps.
nah.. jus sounds like she hates kids.. cant have them or because she doesnt have any this is how she psyches herself out..
when u choose to have a child thats a responsibility u chose to have.. nothin hindering about it..
now if its an "oops" baby..
thats different..
NOW my damn dogs is a hindrance!!
i cant take them everywhere.. i cant be gone too long.. so on and so forth..
but a child?? nah..
You're right about that. My wife wants another Presa Canario. We had one for 9 years until he passed. I'm like hell nah. To much work and a hindrance. LMAO -
Shizlansky wrote: »You don't have to be friends with a "bad chick" to learn anything.
Bad chick logic is mostly flawed due to how they look and don't even have game to share.
man i been lookin for this damn gif..
STOLEN ? ! lol -
BOSSExcellence wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »BOSSExcellence wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
stopped reading at "zero hindrance"
who lives a life wit zero hindrance @Kai
zilch??!
*raises hand*
i'm refering to the hindrance of having children, since those are avoidable and many others in life are not. now if you wanna say work or relationships can have hindrance, yes, but they are few and far between in comparison to children. i can leave a job or a relationship if i don't like the setbacks or time and energy it's taking out of my life. there's no way to unbecome a parent if you are one but resent it. like seriously, how ? up would it be of me to know how i feel about this but to have kids anyway cuz y'all are saying you get fulfillment out of it? that would make no sense
I'm not sure who's children you have seen...buy some kids need tins of attention and some don't need hardly any.
the word hindrance is very strong and you are painting with a big brush.
I am sure work and tour relationship took work to get to where you enjoy it cause at that point it's about cruising cause the hard work and boundaries been set.
same with kids except... they are joys from day one.
I also agree with emm
just be sure you are looking at this right.
This is what I am stuck on. Our children haven't hindered my wife and I from doing exactly what we wanted to do. My wife and I have furthered our education, taken trips, and have continued to enjoy each others company. I am reading sis posts like WTF. Sounds like she's talking about raising chimps.
nah.. jus sounds like she hates kids.. cant have them or because she doesnt have any this is how she psyches herself out..
when u choose to have a child thats a responsibility u chose to have.. nothin hindering about it..
now if its an "oops" baby..
thats different..
NOW my damn dogs is a hindrance!!
i cant take them everywhere.. i cant be gone too long.. so on and so forth..
but a child?? nah..
You're right about that. My wife wants another Presa Canario. We had one for 9 years until he passed. I'm like hell nah. To much work and a hindrance. LMAO
man..
i have a Rotty.. he's 4 now..
i had the bright idea of gettin a puppy.
a female to mate them.. I WANNA ? THAT ? !!
tore up my backyard.. ? up my house..
crate trainin u can only be gone from the house for so long..
gotta take'em on walks and ? .. the constant petting..
yeh.. a kid aint got ? on a pet..
u got any pets @Kai -
BOSSExcellence wrote: »BOSSExcellence wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »BOSSExcellence wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
stopped reading at "zero hindrance"
who lives a life wit zero hindrance @Kai
zilch??!
*raises hand*
i'm refering to the hindrance of having children, since those are avoidable and many others in life are not. now if you wanna say work or relationships can have hindrance, yes, but they are few and far between in comparison to children. i can leave a job or a relationship if i don't like the setbacks or time and energy it's taking out of my life. there's no way to unbecome a parent if you are one but resent it. like seriously, how ? up would it be of me to know how i feel about this but to have kids anyway cuz y'all are saying you get fulfillment out of it? that would make no sense
I'm not sure who's children you have seen...buy some kids need tins of attention and some don't need hardly any.
the word hindrance is very strong and you are painting with a big brush.
I am sure work and tour relationship took work to get to where you enjoy it cause at that point it's about cruising cause the hard work and boundaries been set.
same with kids except... they are joys from day one.
I also agree with emm
just be sure you are looking at this right.
This is what I am stuck on. Our children haven't hindered my wife and I from doing exactly what we wanted to do. My wife and I have furthered our education, taken trips, and have continued to enjoy each others company. I am reading sis posts like WTF. Sounds like she's talking about raising chimps.
nah.. jus sounds like she hates kids.. cant have them or because she doesnt have any this is how she psyches herself out..
when u choose to have a child thats a responsibility u chose to have.. nothin hindering about it..
now if its an "oops" baby..
thats different..
NOW my damn dogs is a hindrance!!
i cant take them everywhere.. i cant be gone too long.. so on and so forth..
but a child?? nah..
You're right about that. My wife wants another Presa Canario. We had one for 9 years until he passed. I'm like hell nah. To much work and a hindrance. LMAO
man..
i have a Rotty.. he's 4 now..
i had the bright idea of gettin a puppy.
a female to mate them.. I WANNA ? THAT ? !!
tore up my backyard.. ? up my house..
crate trainin u can only be gone from the house for so long..
gotta take'em on walks and ? .. the constant petting..
yeh.. a kid aint got ? on a pet..
u got any pets @Kai
Sorry to hear that. Been there and done that too. I will never ever own female dog again. Talk about needy. Cot Damn. LOL -
BOSSExcellence wrote: »BOSSExcellence wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
stopped reading at "zero hindrance"
who lives a life wit zero hindrance @Kai
zilch??!
*raises hand*
i'm refering to the hindrance of having children, since those are avoidable and many others in life are not. now if you wanna say work or relationships can have hindrance, yes, but they are few and far between in comparison to children. i can leave a job or a relationship if i don't like the setbacks or time and energy it's taking out of my life. there's no way to unbecome a parent if you are one but resent it. like seriously, how ? up would it be of me to know how i feel about this but to have kids anyway cuz y'all are saying you get fulfillment out of it? that would make no sense
lol & smh ..oh okay..
say that then..
u hate ur stepchild huh!!? hahaha
no, i love him very much. but i'm his step-mother. and i wasn't in his life til he was 5 so i didn't have to go thru the sleepless nights for one. also, my husband and my step-son's mother did their parental duties so i really didn't have to do a lot of the things i listed as hindrances. there's no spending the weekend at his mother's house if i have kids with my husband, they'll be around 24/7. my step-son is great now that he's 18, but there's no way in hell i want to start that process all over again
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BOSSExcellence wrote: »BOSSExcellence wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »BOSSExcellence wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
stopped reading at "zero hindrance"
who lives a life wit zero hindrance @Kai
zilch??!
*raises hand*
i'm refering to the hindrance of having children, since those are avoidable and many others in life are not. now if you wanna say work or relationships can have hindrance, yes, but they are few and far between in comparison to children. i can leave a job or a relationship if i don't like the setbacks or time and energy it's taking out of my life. there's no way to unbecome a parent if you are one but resent it. like seriously, how ? up would it be of me to know how i feel about this but to have kids anyway cuz y'all are saying you get fulfillment out of it? that would make no sense
I'm not sure who's children you have seen...buy some kids need tins of attention and some don't need hardly any.
the word hindrance is very strong and you are painting with a big brush.
I am sure work and tour relationship took work to get to where you enjoy it cause at that point it's about cruising cause the hard work and boundaries been set.
same with kids except... they are joys from day one.
I also agree with emm
just be sure you are looking at this right.
This is what I am stuck on. Our children haven't hindered my wife and I from doing exactly what we wanted to do. My wife and I have furthered our education, taken trips, and have continued to enjoy each others company. I am reading sis posts like WTF. Sounds like she's talking about raising chimps.
nah.. jus sounds like she hates kids.. cant have them or because she doesnt have any this is how she psyches herself out..
when u choose to have a child thats a responsibility u chose to have.. nothin hindering about it..
now if its an "oops" baby..
thats different..
NOW my damn dogs is a hindrance!!
i cant take them everywhere.. i cant be gone too long.. so on and so forth..
but a child?? nah..
You're right about that. My wife wants another Presa Canario. We had one for 9 years until he passed. I'm like hell nah. To much work and a hindrance. LMAO
man..
i have a Rotty.. he's 4 now..
i had the bright idea of gettin a puppy.
a female to mate them.. I WANNA ? THAT ? !!
tore up my backyard.. ? up my house..
crate trainin u can only be gone from the house for so long..
gotta take'em on walks and ? .. the constant petting..
yeh.. a kid aint got ? on a pet..
u got any pets @Kai
yes i have two cats and a dog, i love them to death. the thing is, i know i could do all the things required to be a great mother, i just don't want to. i want to be a pet owner tho, in there lies the difference
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2stepz_ahead wrote: »BOSSExcellence wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
stopped reading at "zero hindrance"
who lives a life wit zero hindrance @Kai
zilch??!
*raises hand*
i'm refering to the hindrance of having children, since those are avoidable and many others in life are not. now if you wanna say work or relationships can have hindrance, yes, but they are few and far between in comparison to children. i can leave a job or a relationship if i don't like the setbacks or time and energy it's taking out of my life. there's no way to unbecome a parent if you are one but resent it. like seriously, how ? up would it be of me to know how i feel about this but to have kids anyway cuz y'all are saying you get fulfillment out of it? that would make no sense
I'm not sure who's children you have seen...buy some kids need tins of attention and some don't need hardly any.
the word hindrance is very strong and you are painting with a big brush.
I am sure work and tour relationship took work to get to where you enjoy it cause at that point it's about cruising cause the hard work and boundaries been set.
same with kids except... they are joys from day one.
I also agree with emm
just be sure you are looking at this right.
I agree with Kai in the since that ... I personally see kids as a lot of work. ALOT of effort. ALOT of time and patience.
And the fact that i can see that, means I also respect that.
Being a GREAT parent, imo, requires more than 100% effort everyday all day. Like Kai said, You can't unbecome a parent.
See, the amount of mental anguish that my mind would go through just thinking about all the appropriate ways to make sure my kid grows into a beautiful functioning adult can cause a lot of stress. I hold child rearing in such high regard its almost ridiculous.
You're creating a whole new person from scratch! and your ideas are the foundation for how they will conduct themselves. Thats not something you can take lightly.... but most people just feel like its their biological duty to mindlessly procreate. I clearly don't see it that way.
Do I personally see myself creating a child from scratch just to prove to myself that I am up for the task...?
HELL NAH.... cause as a functional adult who handles all his responsibilities, thats not something in my life that I feel a need to engage in. My goal is for my life to become more tranquil as I age. Tranquility is my focus. Thats why I seldom deal with high stress people. Leave me in a quiet room with a view so I can paint landscapes as I ponder the nuances of Hue light and shadow.
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BOSSExcellence wrote: »BOSSExcellence wrote: »2stepz_ahead wrote: »BOSSExcellence wrote: »EmM HoLLa. wrote: »to all the people saying they have the same amount of freedom they did before they have kids, not sure i buy it. and i'm not talking about travelling or extravagant ? at all. can you decided to just up and leave at the spur of the moment without getting a babysitter? can you go out of town without getting your friends or family to watch your kid? do you get woken up at the ass-? of dawn on the weekends cuz they wanna eat? can you decided to do some day drinking on a whim one weekend? the answer to all of that is no. i can decide right now that i'd rather go to a restaurant that isn't chucky cheese instead of making dinner
lets not even get started on how much kids talk, how much of your attention they demand. you don't get a second off when your kid is around. unless it's men who usually don't do as much of the caretaking as women do, i don't see how you can say having a kid doesn't eat up a large portion of your time and energy. i mean if you want to undertake that task, more power to you. but i'm perfectly happy not having to do any of that ? . and if you get fulfillment out of being a parent, great, but that doesn't mean everyone will or that that is the only way to get fulfillment out of life.
As u mentioned men don't have to deal with the burden of parenthood like women do. It's a sacrifice for sure.. And you do have to be more calculated in how you do things. There is an adjustment.. But for the most part I can do what I've always been able to do.. As I mentioned in an earlier post. It takes a village... Extended family is very important. My parents are retired and they'd love nothing more than to watch thier grand child.. So it works out..
The overall sentiment some of the parents are trying to make is that yes there may be additional steps associated with doing certain things but for the most part they can all be done.. Children aren't as much of a hindrance as folks would like to portray them.. Especially as they get older..
the bolded is key tho, you can't deny that they are a hindrance, you're only arguing about how much of a hindrance they are. some people don't want to deal with ANY hindrance, zero, zip, zilch. so any amount of hindrance, regardless of how small it is is undesirable
i think it's better that folks who understand this about themselves don't have kids instead of doing so cuz they think it's what they're supposed to do and resenting their children later. i don't want the additional steps, i don't want to be finding babysitters or asking my family to watch them. i don't want to have to drive them all over the ? damn city, i don't want to be up reading the same book every night. i don't want to have to wait to do adult things (including sex) until they are in bed every night
none of those things appeal to me in the least. you're right tho, kids aren't that bad and can even be helpful once they get older, but i don't want to go thru 12-15 years of the ? i listed before they can even be left home alone. no thanks
stopped reading at "zero hindrance"
who lives a life wit zero hindrance @Kai
zilch??!
*raises hand*
i'm refering to the hindrance of having children, since those are avoidable and many others in life are not. now if you wanna say work or relationships can have hindrance, yes, but they are few and far between in comparison to children. i can leave a job or a relationship if i don't like the setbacks or time and energy it's taking out of my life. there's no way to unbecome a parent if you are one but resent it. like seriously, how ? up would it be of me to know how i feel about this but to have kids anyway cuz y'all are saying you get fulfillment out of it? that would make no sense
I'm not sure who's children you have seen...buy some kids need tins of attention and some don't need hardly any.
the word hindrance is very strong and you are painting with a big brush.
I am sure work and tour relationship took work to get to where you enjoy it cause at that point it's about cruising cause the hard work and boundaries been set.
same with kids except... they are joys from day one.
I also agree with emm
just be sure you are looking at this right.
This is what I am stuck on. Our children haven't hindered my wife and I from doing exactly what we wanted to do. My wife and I have furthered our education, taken trips, and have continued to enjoy each others company. I am reading sis posts like WTF. Sounds like she's talking about raising chimps.
nah.. jus sounds like she hates kids.. cant have them or because she doesnt have any this is how she psyches herself out..
when u choose to have a child thats a responsibility u chose to have.. nothin hindering about it..
now if its an "oops" baby..
thats different..
NOW my damn dogs is a hindrance!!
i cant take them everywhere.. i cant be gone too long.. so on and so forth..
but a child?? nah..
You're right about that. My wife wants another Presa Canario. We had one for 9 years until he passed. I'm like hell nah. To much work and a hindrance. LMAO
man..
i have a Rotty.. he's 4 now..
i had the bright idea of gettin a puppy.
a female to mate them.. I WANNA ? THAT ? !!
tore up my backyard.. ? up my house..
crate trainin u can only be gone from the house for so long..
gotta take'em on walks and ? .. the constant petting..
yeh.. a kid aint got ? on a pet..
u got any pets @Kai
yes i have two cats and a dog, i love them to death. the thing is, i know i could do all the things required to be a great mother, i just don't want to. i want to be a pet owner tho, in there lies the difference
lol@ all that ? u been sayin this whole thread BUT GOT PETS!!? hahaha
the irony..
u shouldve jus said u didnt want kids from the jump and left it at that..
cause everything u said against the reasons for havin one u deal wit with pets..
the reason it doesnt bother u is cause u WANT to have pets.. jus like majority of us WANTED to have kids..
there's no difference.. -
a pet is worse than a child lol
c'mon kai lol
