Let's talk about child custody for a sec...

2stepz_ahead
2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited November 2017 in For The Grown & Sexy
After the last few threads about men and their kids, i have a question.

it seems alot of dudes just allow the mother to call all the shots when it comes to the child and they fall back and allow it. but what would it take for you as a father to finally say i want physical custody of the child.

Physical is having the child live with you. physical and legal custody is allowing the other parent visitation while they are not able to make decisions regarding the childs life. which most guys get and are ok with.

but what would have to happen for you to go for it and why havent you gone for it up to this point?

and Ladies, why is it looked at as a bad thing when a father goes after his child? why does the mother have to be a terrible person for a man to make the decision to want his child? Or why does it have to be about not paying support, when supporting a line in child is more expensive? why can a man just want his child without it being looked at as some sort of a vindictive thing?

after reading the tyrese history....and i thought about it...
how many dude are that close to their child that they would break down like that from not seeing them after two months? how far would you go to show them and remind them that daddy is thinking about you?

ok, he shouldnt have done it on social media...we get that. but in court rooms i have seen dudes break down...see it all the time. others just be like fukk it and dont care what happens and are ok with being a 2 weekend a month dad.

and people who fathers stepped away.....how you feel about this type ? ? how did you feel when your dad stepped away? do you know the whole story or only what you are told? did you ever see it from his point of view?


lets talk about it.
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Comments

  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @mryounggun stay outta my thread with your happy ass arrangements.

    you my ? but keep it pushing
  • rickmogul
    rickmogul Members Posts: 1,961 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2017
    Real Talk @konceptjones kinda hit spot on in the end 4 me. I tend 2 pick stellar women with very stable and prosperous careers. With that said if push came 2 shove and we split, she can raise em. I'll be 4ever active in their lives but be honest. Who wouldn't want their cake and eat it 2? Yeah, yeah nothing like being there blah blah we know. What if it was beyond repair? Got the kids being provided for AND I still have my life? Club days R ova 4 me so it be about a new lady and doing us. I'm being honest here.
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    rickmogul wrote: »
    Real Talk @konceptjones kinda hit spot on in the end 4 me. I tend 2 pick stellar women with very stable and prosperous careers. With that said if push came 2 shove and we split, she can raise em. I'll be 4ever active in their lives but be honest. Who wouldn't want their cake and eat it 2? Yeah, yeah nothing like being there blah blah we know. What if it was beyond repair? Got the kids being provided for AND I still have my life? Club days R ova 4 me so it be about a new lady and doing us. I'm being honest here.

    at least you are honest....more dudes should be honest about it.
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Too hungover for a detailed post but I got physical custody of my daughter by any means necessary.

    Didn’t cry like a ? or let a ? outwit me by finessing the courts in her favor like most ? do.

    I fought ? and stuck to my guns.

    Too many men are quick to surrender to a woman and say the “system” is against them.

    Nah ? , you lowkey don’t want the responsibility of raising a child so you put up a fake ass fight for custody and pour your heart out on social media but in reality you happy as hell to be a part time father.

    GOAT and cosign and LOL....
  • playmaker88
    playmaker88 Members Posts: 67,905 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2017
    ...consider the choices you make people....

    its a said state of affairs that this is a norm.. and the "norm" is an oddity
  • MoneyPowerRespect
    MoneyPowerRespect Members Posts: 2,332 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Well.

    My oldest son lives with his dad. After I had some pending felonies + prior misdemeanors, it was hard for me to get a job.
    Now, although the situation in which my hand was forced was ? up, I don't regret it.

    But even before he left, I never kept him from his son. In fact, quite the opposite. I don't believe in that.
  • atribecalledgabi
    atribecalledgabi Members, Moderators Posts: 14,063 Regulator
    edited November 2017
    My mom never put my dad on child support (even tho she probly should have but that's another story) and it gave me a different outlook on it...especially since one of my sister's mom's put him on it.

    I won't say I don't think cs is bad in and of itself, but I feel like it already starts the co-parenting game off on the wrong foot...and sets your kid up to automatically think of the non-custodial parent as a failure.
  • 5 Grand
    5 Grand Members Posts: 12,869 ✭✭✭✭✭
    One thing that nobody has mentioned is that women, by nature, are better at raising children.

    Society is more forgiving and helpful to a single mother. Its more acceptable for a woman to work a part time job and collect welfare and food stamps than a man. Society is sexist.

    And a woman having custody of the child is traditional.
  • DoubleShotHelix
    DoubleShotHelix Members Posts: 500 ✭✭✭✭✭
    5 Grand wrote: »
    One thing that nobody has mentioned is that women, by nature, are better at raising children.

    Society is more forgiving and helpful to a single mother. Its more acceptable for a woman to work a part time job and collect welfare and food stamps than a man. Society is sexist.

    And a woman having custody of the child is traditional.

    Point 1. No, statistics, research and studies across multiple sociological and scientific areas prove that when raised in a single parent environment children raised in single father lead households fair far better than children raised in single mother lead households.

    Point 2. True, because society doesn't allow men in general to benefit from being the perpetual victim. It also generally doesn't afford men the luxury of profiting off the backs of their poor decision making and lack off accountability. Men, for lack of a better term have to "man up", generally speaking.

    Point 3. ? , no. Traditionally, a man's children were his property. It is due to new laws than men have been stripped of their base parental rights and status and by recent I mean the second half of the 20 century prior to that a man's legitimate children were linked to him and when the family split the children much more often than not stayed with the father. Traditionally, the only times a woman had custody of a kid was if the kid was illegitimate or she was a widow.

  • Inglewood_B
    Inglewood_B Members Posts: 12,246 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2017
    Too hungover for a detailed post but I got physical custody of my daughter by any means necessary.

    Didn’t cry like a ? or let a ? outwit me by finessing the courts in her favor like most ? do.

    I fought ? and stuck to my guns.

    Too many men are quick to surrender to a woman and say the “system” is against them.

    Nah ? , you lowkey don’t want the responsibility of raising a child so you put up a fake ass fight for custody and pour your heart out on social media but in reality you happy as hell to be a part time father.

    All this

    I put them papers on my BM too even tho this ? moved to another state. I don’t even want her money I just wanted to prove a point.

    I wouldn’t want my daughter wherever the hell she at anyway. All her family is here in Cali. She got plenty cousins and relatives to play with and my soon to be wife treat her like she her own. I’m good
  • ThaNubianGod
    ThaNubianGod Members Posts: 1,862 ✭✭✭✭✭
    5 Grand wrote: »
    One thing that nobody has mentioned is that women, by nature, are better at raising children.

    Society is more forgiving and helpful to a single mother. Its more acceptable for a woman to work a part time job and collect welfare and food stamps than a man. Society is sexist.

    And a woman having custody of the child is traditional.
    To be honest, I can't think of many kids who turned out bad being raised by single fathers but........I can think of a long list of messed up people from single mother households.
  • King Ghidorah
    King Ghidorah Members Posts: 917 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Too hungover for a detailed post but I got physical custody of my daughter by any means necessary.

    Didn’t cry like a ? or let a ? outwit me by finessing the courts in her favor like most ? do.

    I fought ? and stuck to my guns.

    Too many men are quick to surrender to a woman and say the “system” is against them.

    Nah ? , you lowkey don’t want the responsibility of raising a child so you put up a fake ass fight for custody and pour your heart out on social media but in reality you happy as hell to be a part time father.

    After seeing what Dwayne wade had to go through to get his children from that crazy ? I can't agree it's as simple as sticking to your guns. You need all the receipts
  • fuc_i_look_like
    fuc_i_look_like Members Posts: 9,190 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Damn, this topic....again.
  • Turfaholic
    Turfaholic Members Posts: 20,429 ✭✭✭✭✭
    5 Grand wrote: »
    One thing that nobody has mentioned is that women, by nature, are better at raising children.

    Society is more forgiving and helpful to a single mother. Its more acceptable for a woman to work a part time job and collect welfare and food stamps than a man. Society is sexist.

    And a woman having custody of the child is traditional.

    Boys raised by women are more likely to be ? by pimps.
  • blackrain
    blackrain Members, Moderators Posts: 27,269 Regulator
    Interesting responses...
  • 5 Grand
    5 Grand Members Posts: 12,869 ✭✭✭✭✭
    5 Grand wrote: »
    One thing that nobody has mentioned is that women, by nature, are better at raising children.

    Society is more forgiving and helpful to a single mother. Its more acceptable for a woman to work a part time job and collect welfare and food stamps than a man. Society is sexist.

    And a woman having custody of the child is traditional.
    To be honest, I can't think of many kids who turned out bad being raised by single fathers but........I can think of a long list of messed up people from single mother households.

    You're right.

    But without doing a google search for statistics, I think the ratio of women raising children to men raising children is probably 20 to one.
  • MsSouthern
    MsSouthern Members, Moderators Posts: 21,791 Regulator
    When you say things like "go after their child " and "go take your child"


    It sounds vindictive ....




  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    MsSouthern wrote: »
    When you say things like "go after their child " and "go take your child"


    It sounds vindictive ....




    why does it have to sound vindictive when "keeping a child away" or "pay support" doesnt?

    go after their child is what any parent should do.

    would you go after your child if you know i had our child smoking at 11? or talking bad about you?
    why cant take your child be associated with a father wanting to give his child the best and remove them from a negative situation?

    are you making this about your gender? are you only thinking about your gender?
    because if you was thinking about what better for any child then you would sy the child should always be better with the parent willing to put in the work to make the child the best they can be and not stop a relationship from building with the other parent.
  • Trollio
    Trollio Members Posts: 25,815 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2017
    5 grand is a ?

    Ol 2+2= triangle ass ?
  • MsSouthern
    MsSouthern Members, Moderators Posts: 21,791 Regulator
    edited November 2017
    MsSouthern wrote: »
    When you say things like "go after their child " and "go take your child"


    It sounds vindictive ....




    why does it have to sound vindictive when "keeping a child away" or "pay support" doesnt?

    go after their child is what any parent should do.

    would you go after your child if you know i had our child smoking at 11? or talking bad about you?
    why cant take your child be associated with a father wanting to give his child the best and remove them from a negative situation?

    are you making this about your gender? are you only thinking about your gender?
    because if you was thinking about what better for any child then you would sy the child should always be better with the parent willing to put in the work to make the child the best they can be and not stop a relationship from building with the other parent.

    How does it sound if I was telling my girlfriend to do that?

    Never once have said anything you're implying