Married/relationship folk question
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Iheart~Cali wrote: »Correct me if I'm wrong Du, but I don't think Du is saying he'd totally kick somebody to the curb just for being unfaithful to their spouse. I think it's more so that it'd give him pause about the type of person he is overall. He may not put himself in a position of having to depend on this friend because he knows the friend is the type to knowingly deceive the one person he's supposed to be the closest to.
the thread originally came from her husband's homeboy calling him up to go out and do some scandalous ? .....
i got homeboys...married homeboys that routinely do ? like that all the time....there was a time when i'd be all down to go and party...but that just ain't me no more....so i'd opt out of the invite.....
and over time, when you're opting outta invite after invite, it naturally causes a wedge in the friendship
yall simply not in the same circle no more.....? might still be cool but it's not the way it used to be....
i take my marriage to be sacred, and if i know you don't feel the same way, we're naturally not gonna see eye to eye on things of that importance.....
i'm just addressing it and calling it what it is....
so if they call me like
"yo, leave the wife home and come through friday night... ? playing cards and having a few people over....we might even hit the clubs later"
i already know what the deal is, and i just ain't about that life no more
i feel like if you a real friend....you'd understand and respect that...but a lotta people don't...so as a result....they get cut back -
Knock_Twice wrote: »blakfyahking wrote: »A lot of you married ? play both sides, with yall boys yall still wanna do single ? and act all single then when you get home or around your spouse you wanna be Mr relationship..females the same way...check her social media accounts you'd never know she had a bf/husband
this ? is unfortunately true
? even married but still stunting in this thread like ? is all good
half the ? in these IC broads' ? be married ? sending messages with the hopes of being unfaithful haha
it's sad that mofos just can't seem to keep it real with themselves...........there are exceptions, but for the most part the bolded is true
Got a ? ? that does this act...
We doing the whole Vegas trip thing, my patna (married) pulls up curbside...kisses his wife and ? , gave her 1,000 hugs and ? , the ? dayum near in tears and ? becuz as he claim he don't wanna be away from her that long (? 4 day trip might I add)
Me and my other patna checking our bags and ? ..not really noticing the ? 's act, but I'm seeing the ? ...dude telling his wife, how he's going to be safe, make sure we (me and my patna) don't get into any trouble (hilarious) and how we are just going to go out (even if we do) just for some drinks Lol...smh...none of that soliciting of sex from us, he said he'll make sure of that..Lol..this ? could have gotten an Oscar
He does his act..blows kisses and ? as his wife pulls off....First thing outta this ? 's mouth "WHERE THE ? AT ? ", WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS STAYS THERE ? , I'm looking like ? you aint ? lol..smh
Married dudes be the worst at not keeping it 100..them ? be wanting to know where the ? at too...at least my married patnas..them ? aint angels
Well this was the least suprising information in the entire thread.
No ? ! Dude been seeing the same face and ? the same ? since marriage.
If a dude has a surefire way to get ? without getting caught..you know damn well he's about to jump on it.
And in Vegas??
Man, lol... -
blakfyahking wrote: »blakfyahking wrote: »blakfyahking wrote: »ShiveDreadz wrote: »Du keeping it 100 though.
The circle damn near disappeared when i realized it takes a certain type of dude to cheat on his woman, especially blatantly.
How can you trust someone like that to hold you down.
I can't necessarily agree with this.........this is some oversimplified feminist-based logic
what a ? do with his woman really ain't got nothing to do with you as a friend
cause you don't know what really happens between them behind closed doors
Not really. You can look at it like this. If you can stand up in front of a room full of people, pledge to honor your wife and you cant keep that promise what's to stop you from lying to me to. I think Du said it before. I'm just a friend, that's your WIFE.
what about someone you knew before they got married tho?
is it possible cuzzo was a good dude and then later he got married and ? later went bad?
I just don't see a rational loyal friend judging cause ? in the dude relationship looks bad
that's sounds like you the one who ain't keeping it 100 with ya boy.....like I said you'll never really know that man home situation
another sign that he ain't really keeping it 100 wit you....
before i got married, i asked my ? who was unloyal to their wives....
? ...make me understand this ? ....
and it really wasn't nothing they could really say to justify it....it came down to them wanting to do them....
now i realize that's a very isolated situation of my personal experiences... but it firmly laid the groundwork to my overall impression of them.....
i'm not gonna be on some "i just wanna do me" type ? ...so while i got married homeboys who gives no ? about their wives when they wanna go out n do them.... i can't hang when they up to them type of activities...cuz i do give a ?
why would you even ask or care about the bolded unless that was a strangely sensitive topic for you?
who cares about what their friend is doing unless it's breaking the law or hurting someone innocent? that right there tells me more about you than your friends for you to ask them that
as far as them just doing them........once again keep it real.......? really ain't that simple
mofos are cheating for a real reason
what you think your boy gon break down for you and address his true insecurities and ? ? naw
I wouldn't even feel comfortable with another man being that open about his personal ? like that
whenever i'm making huge decisions i tend to ask others opinions on it to get different perspectives....
i don't assume that i'm always right or that i got it all..so if i consider you a good friend, and value your opinion...i'm going to ask you....
just so happened that one of my closest friends at the time was married for almost 10 years, yet had several kids outside the marriage...naturally i didn't want that for myself...so i felt the urge to ask him....
how did it get to that?
i had several other homeboys that were married...and these ? used to dip off and freak and geek....i knew i didn't want that for me....so i asked them as well...how'd it get to that point.....
cuz i just felt that no body walks into a marriage, knowing at some point they gonna be ? other chicks....something has to lead up to it....so instead of going into it blind....i thought i'd have a real ? to real ? conversations to my homeboys about it all.....? like that was important to me, and i truly wanted to know, at the very least i could prepare myself if i found myself in a similar situation -
Iheart~Cali wrote: »Correct me if I'm wrong Du, but I don't think Du is saying he'd totally kick somebody to the curb just for being unfaithful to their spouse. I think it's more so that it'd give him pause about the type of person he is overall. He may not put himself in a position of having to depend on this friend because he knows the friend is the type to knowingly deceive the one person he's supposed to be the closest to.
the thread originally came from her husband's homeboy calling him up to go out and do some scandalous ? .....
i got homeboys...married homeboys that routinely do ? like that all the time....there was a time when i'd be all down to go and party...but that just ain't me no more....so i'd opt out of the invite.....
and over time, when you're opting outta invite after invite, it naturally causes a wedge in the friendship
yall simply not in the same circle no more.....? might still be cool but it's not the way it used to be....
i take my marriage to be sacred, and if i know you don't feel the same way, we're naturally not gonna see eye to eye on things of that importance.....
i'm just addressing it and calling it what it is....
so if they call me like
"yo, leave the wife home and come through friday night... ? playing cards and having a few people over....we might even hit the clubs later"
i already know what the deal is, and i just ain't about that life no more
i feel like if you a real friend....you'd understand and respect that...but a lotta people don't...so as a result....they get cut back
I totally understand. At the end of the day it's not really about whether you're being judgmental. It's natural for people to fall by the wayside when they're taking a different path than you. Not just with this in particular but with anything; you want to surround yourself with people who are where you want to be or at least trying to get there. -
whenever i'm making huge decisions i tend to ask others opinions on it to get different perspectives....
i don't assume that i'm always right or that i got it all..so if i consider you a good friend, and value your opinion...i'm going to ask you....
just so happened that one of my closest friends at the time was married for almost 10 years, yet had several kids outside the marriage...naturally i didn't want that for myself...so i felt the urge to ask him....
how did it get to that?
i had several other homeboys that were married...and these ? used to dip off and freak and geek....i knew i didn't want that for me....so i asked them as well...how'd it get to that point.....
cuz i just felt that no body walks into a marriage, knowing at some point they gonna be ? other chicks....something has to lead up to it....so instead of going into it blind....i thought i'd have a real ? to real ? conversations to my homeboys about it all.....? like that was important to me, and i truly wanted to know, at the very least i could prepare myself if i found myself in a similar situation
you appear to be a smart and logical individual based on your posts
so I think even you can acknowledge the naivete of thinking a ? is really gon discuss his personal ? like that
hell most ? 's own father ain't gon be that honest with them.....so it's reasonable to believe a friend damn sure ain't gon there with you
cats would rather have you believe they are fake and shallow vs. appearing insecure or sensitive from telling you what really happened
at the end of the day it's only so much you can do to try to avoid placing yourself in a similar situation cause life happens and there no guarantees
I say this ? from personal experience living it on both sides.....meanwhile you speaking it based from a limited viewpoint
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Iheart~Cali wrote: »Correct me if I'm wrong Du, but I don't think Du is saying he'd totally kick somebody to the curb just for being unfaithful to their spouse. I think it's more so that it'd give him pause about the type of person he is overall. He may not put himself in a position of having to depend on this friend because he knows the friend is the type to knowingly deceive the one person he's supposed to be the closest to.
the thread originally came from her husband's homeboy calling him up to go out and do some scandalous ? .....
i got homeboys...married homeboys that routinely do ? like that all the time....there was a time when i'd be all down to go and party...but that just ain't me no more....so i'd opt out of the invite.....
and over time, when you're opting outta invite after invite, it naturally causes a wedge in the friendship
yall simply not in the same circle no more.....? might still be cool but it's not the way it used to be....
i take my marriage to be sacred, and if i know you don't feel the same way, we're naturally not gonna see eye to eye on things of that importance.....
i'm just addressing it and calling it what it is....
so if they call me like
"yo, leave the wife home and come through friday night... ? playing cards and having a few people over....we might even hit the clubs later"
i already know what the deal is, and i just ain't about that life no more
i feel like if you a real friend....you'd understand and respect that...but a lotta people don't...so as a result....they get cut back
Folk...
You are a grown man, you telling me that you can't go out and conduct "YOURSELF" and not worry about what your other homeboys are doing, what does their acts have to do with you accepting the invite to go and play cards....
Yall married ? get married and act all holy and stuff..smh...and (not you) but look down on folks that are not married..(and look down means.."oh I can't hang with you anymore becuz I know what 'may' take place...like dayun ? you can't look at women no mo??)..like you too good to kick it wit your patna
I mean yall ? (married men) don't know how to get in your car and drive home when it's getting too much for yal, why you assume that if you go out with yo patna you are going to ruin your marriage...
I'm just curious folk..I aint in no way trying to change your stance..but I just wanna understand it...
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Or maybe he'd just wanna distance himself from even having to be in a questionable situation. @knock_twice
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blakfyahking wrote: »
whenever i'm making huge decisions i tend to ask others opinions on it to get different perspectives....
i don't assume that i'm always right or that i got it all..so if i consider you a good friend, and value your opinion...i'm going to ask you....
just so happened that one of my closest friends at the time was married for almost 10 years, yet had several kids outside the marriage...naturally i didn't want that for myself...so i felt the urge to ask him....
how did it get to that?
i had several other homeboys that were married...and these ? used to dip off and freak and geek....i knew i didn't want that for me....so i asked them as well...how'd it get to that point.....
cuz i just felt that no body walks into a marriage, knowing at some point they gonna be ? other chicks....something has to lead up to it....so instead of going into it blind....i thought i'd have a real ? to real ? conversations to my homeboys about it all.....? like that was important to me, and i truly wanted to know, at the very least i could prepare myself if i found myself in a similar situation
you appear to be a smart and logical individual based on your posts
so I think even you can acknowledge the naivete of thinking a ? is really gon discuss his personal ? like that
hell most ? 's own father ain't gon be that honest with them.....so it's reasonable to believe a friend damn sure ain't gon there with you
cats would rather have you believe they are fake and shallow vs. appearing insecure or sensitive from telling you what really happened
at the end of the day it's only so much you can do to try to avoid placing yourself in a similar situation cause life happens and there no guarantees
I say this ? from personal experience living it on both sides.....meanwhile you speaking it based from a limited viewpoint
and that's why i said you basically agreeing with me......
i mean while i might have learned this through limited personal experiences compared to your extensive knowledge on the subject..
i just tend to keep ? at a distance these days..there's a few friends i'm still close to,
but i'm no where near the overly trusting person i used to be...like i said, outta the 5 dudes that agreed to stand with me on my wedding day, i'm only still as close to one of them as i was that day...
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Or maybe he'd just wanna distance himself from even having to be in a questionable situation. @knock_twice
Why would the situation even be questionable? (playing cards with ppl you know, going to a bday party)..again he knows how to conduct himself...maybe that's the reason..he may not know.....I mean IDK, I guess why I aint married and can't be 'caged' to certain situations where I'm cutting off some of my good friends...
Different folks do different things I guess... -
So y'all want him to hang around adulterers while they are being adulterers because... Their his friend...
Some of y'all are not strong enough to just distance yourself, you have to be in the mix. Du is smart for adjusting to the way he wants to live his life.
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Knock_Twice wrote: »Iheart~Cali wrote: »Correct me if I'm wrong Du, but I don't think Du is saying he'd totally kick somebody to the curb just for being unfaithful to their spouse. I think it's more so that it'd give him pause about the type of person he is overall. He may not put himself in a position of having to depend on this friend because he knows the friend is the type to knowingly deceive the one person he's supposed to be the closest to.
the thread originally came from her husband's homeboy calling him up to go out and do some scandalous ? .....
i got homeboys...married homeboys that routinely do ? like that all the time....there was a time when i'd be all down to go and party...but that just ain't me no more....so i'd opt out of the invite.....
and over time, when you're opting outta invite after invite, it naturally causes a wedge in the friendship
yall simply not in the same circle no more.....? might still be cool but it's not the way it used to be....
i take my marriage to be sacred, and if i know you don't feel the same way, we're naturally not gonna see eye to eye on things of that importance.....
i'm just addressing it and calling it what it is....
so if they call me like
"yo, leave the wife home and come through friday night... ? playing cards and having a few people over....we might even hit the clubs later"
i already know what the deal is, and i just ain't about that life no more
i feel like if you a real friend....you'd understand and respect that...but a lotta people don't...so as a result....they get cut back
Folk...
You are a grown man, you telling me that you can't go out and conduct "YOURSELF" and not worry about what your other homeboys are doing, what does their acts have to do with you accepting the invite to go and play cards....
Yall married ? get married and act all holy and stuff..smh...and (not you) but look down on folks that are not married..(and look down means.."oh I can't hang with you anymore becuz I know what 'may' take place...like dayun ? you can't look at women no mo??)..like you too good to kick it wit your patna
I mean yall ? (married men) don't know how to get in your car and drive home when it's getting too much for yal, why you assume that if you go out with yo patna you are going to ruin your marriage...
I'm just curious folk..I aint in no way trying to change your stance..but I just wanna understand it...
i just rather not be out in that type of environment....it really does nothing for me,
if my idea of chilling and hanging isn't their idea of hanging and chilling.....it's kinda gonna end up being obvious to anyone who knows you well enough
so instead of feeling all awkward, and being a sore thumb, i'd either just show face and dip early....or not show at all
it kinda sucks to explain cuz you do get thedayun ? you can't look at women no mo??)..like you too good to kick it wit your patna
treatment... but it ain't even bout that...you just know where fit in at and where you don't -
Knock_Twice wrote: »blakfyahking wrote: »A lot of you married ? play both sides, with yall boys yall still wanna do single ? and act all single then when you get home or around your spouse you wanna be Mr relationship..females the same way...check her social media accounts you'd never know she had a bf/husband
this ? is unfortunately true
? even married but still stunting in this thread like ? is all good
half the ? in these IC broads' ? be married ? sending messages with the hopes of being unfaithful haha
it's sad that mofos just can't seem to keep it real with themselves...........there are exceptions, but for the most part the bolded is true
Got a ? ? that does this act...
We doing the whole Vegas trip thing, my patna (married) pulls up curbside...kisses his wife and ? , gave her 1,000 hugs and ? , the ? dayum near in tears and ? becuz as he claim he don't wanna be away from her that long (? 4 day trip might I add)
Me and my other patna checking our bags and ? ..not really noticing the ? 's act, but I'm seeing the ? ...dude telling his wife, how he's going to be safe, make sure we (me and my patna) don't get into any trouble (hilarious) and how we are just going to go out (even if we do) just for some drinks Lol...smh...none of that soliciting of sex from us, he said he'll make sure of that..Lol..this ? could have gotten an Oscar
He does his act..blows kisses and ? as his wife pulls off....First thing outta this ? 's mouth "WHERE THE ? AT ? ", WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS STAYS THERE ? , I'm looking like ? you aint ? lol..smh
Married dudes be the worst at not keeping it 100..them ? be wanting to know where the ? at too...at least my married patnas..them ? aint angels
Well this was the least suprising information in the entire thread.
No ? ! Dude been seeing the same face and ? the same ? since marriage.
If a dude has a surefire way to get ? without getting caught..you know damn well he's about to jump on it.
And in Vegas??
Man, lol...
SMH @ the low self-esteem reflected in this post
it's like women just don't believe it's possible for a dude to take a trip and be faithful
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this ? ass thread still lives?? smh & lol
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blakfyahking wrote: »
whenever i'm making huge decisions i tend to ask others opinions on it to get different perspectives....
i don't assume that i'm always right or that i got it all..so if i consider you a good friend, and value your opinion...i'm going to ask you....
just so happened that one of my closest friends at the time was married for almost 10 years, yet had several kids outside the marriage...naturally i didn't want that for myself...so i felt the urge to ask him....
how did it get to that?
i had several other homeboys that were married...and these ? used to dip off and freak and geek....i knew i didn't want that for me....so i asked them as well...how'd it get to that point.....
cuz i just felt that no body walks into a marriage, knowing at some point they gonna be ? other chicks....something has to lead up to it....so instead of going into it blind....i thought i'd have a real ? to real ? conversations to my homeboys about it all.....? like that was important to me, and i truly wanted to know, at the very least i could prepare myself if i found myself in a similar situation
you appear to be a smart and logical individual based on your posts
so I think even you can acknowledge the naivete of thinking a ? is really gon discuss his personal ? like that
hell most ? 's own father ain't gon be that honest with them.....so it's reasonable to believe a friend damn sure ain't gon there with you
cats would rather have you believe they are fake and shallow vs. appearing insecure or sensitive from telling you what really happened
at the end of the day it's only so much you can do to try to avoid placing yourself in a similar situation cause life happens and there no guarantees
I say this ? from personal experience living it on both sides.....meanwhile you speaking it based from a limited viewpoint
and that's why i said you basically agreeing with me......
i mean while i might have learned this through limited personal experiences compared to your extensive knowledge on the subject..
i just tend to keep ? at a distance these days..there's a few friends i'm still close to,
but i'm no where near the overly trusting person i used to be...like i said, outta the 5 dudes that agreed to stand with me on my wedding day, i'm only still as close to one of them as i was that day...
you curved your response on the slick
so I ain't even gon continue to dispute this haha
but bottom line, basically what a ? do at home really got nothing to do with somebody else outside of it
that alone shouldn't be a reason to look at your boy sideways
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So y'all want him to hang around adulterers while they are being adulterers because... Their his friend...
Some of y'all are not strong enough to just distance yourself, you have to be in the mix. Du is smart for adjusting to the way he wants to live his life.
Du only hangs around perfect people wit his imperfect ass. lol -
BOSSExcellence wrote: »this ? ass thread still lives?? smh & lol
I'm hesitant on either marriage or relationship so i'm taking notes lol
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Knock_Twice wrote: »Or maybe he'd just wanna distance himself from even having to be in a questionable situation. @knock_twice
Why would the situation even be questionable? (playing cards with ppl you know, going to a bday party)..again he knows how to conduct himself...maybe that's the reason..he may not know.....I mean IDK, I guess why I aint married and can't be 'caged' to certain situations where I'm cutting off some of my good friends...
Different folks do different things I guess...
? .....
i made that mistake once
i goes to a fight party, we all drinking geeking, acting stupid....
outta no where a war on the chairs sparked off....like everytime someone got up, "hold my seat" was getting no respect... ? and chicks were stealing seats all over the place..it was mad funny, cuz like temporary alliances would be made and broken...? was just too funny....
well i stole this one broads seat who i didn't even know before that evening, and when she came back, she had the "o word?" face... then proceed to sit her lil ass on my lap...
now this was way before the wedding, and but that ? felt soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ? awkward...
i just hopped up laughed it off and let shorty get her seat back......
and maybe cuz i was ? my emotions were a bit off, but i really never felt much more comfortable there after that whole little incident....i was pretty much ready to go,
and whenever i get that same kinda feeling when i'm out, i just consider it my time to go -
BOSSExcellence wrote: »this ? ass thread still lives?? smh & lol
I'm hesitant on either marriage or relationship so i'm taking notes lol
until u know for sure.. RELATIONSHIPS. lol -
Knock_Twice wrote: »Or maybe he'd just wanna distance himself from even having to be in a questionable situation. @knock_twice
Why would the situation even be questionable? (playing cards with ppl you know, going to a bday party)..again he knows how to conduct himself...maybe that's the reason..he may not know.....I mean IDK, I guess why I aint married and can't be 'caged' to certain situations where I'm cutting off some of my good friends...
Different folks do different things I guess...
Cause ? like to do ? ? . If you know how your friends get down and you know they finna call some females up and create a questionable situation for you then what's the harm in just staying outta trouble and staying home (or doing something else)
It ok to say "hey I might get ? AF and do something I'll regret so naa I'm good" (not saying that's Du personally)
Foh with the "that ? can't conduct himself obviously"
If he stays outta the situation then I applaud that man/woman. -
Lol @ Du's
Dude you wasn't even married ? Lol...
mayne yall dudes crazy...
Bruh if it works for you...let it do what it do..man don't let me ? up your marriage..? I don't even know you -
What's funny is that y'all saying "I'll give in to peer pressure, I don't want my friends to think less of me"
.... Grown men... -
Du need to cut it out tho with the moral superiority
that lil story says it all.....how easy would it have been to just check the broad and let her know you ain't with it
basically he don't feel confident that he can control himself in a situation
seems like there are more chinks in the armor in this thread haha -
alot of sissies in this thread..
where were y'all fathers?? -
blakfyahking wrote: »Du need to cut it out tho with the moral superiority
that lil story says it all.....how easy would it have been to just check the broad and let her know you ain't with it
basically he don't feel confident that he can control himself in a situation
seems like there are more chinks in the armor in this thread haha
i dont think hes being morally superior....all i thinks hes saying is he doesnt even want to be in a situation where some ? 'might' pop off....
why put yourself in harms way? what is a married man doing hanging around with single broads anyway? whats the point?
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Now married men can't hang/converse/look at single women now Lol...smh..I done read it all...
If you're married and can't conduct yourself around single ppl (your friends) then that says alot about yourself...? all this avoiding contact and ? ....you aint 5, you a grown registered voting adult, you should know how to leave or know when ? will be tight on you...aint no reason to cut off a good friend over some ? you can't control within yourself...
Married and Bored..I see why most married couples are this way (not saying that's how yo ? is DU)
