Married/relationship folk question
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? running these ? mayne! hahahahahaKnock_Twice wrote: »Now married men can't hang/converse with single women now Lol...smh
new day and age..
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blakfyahking wrote: »Du need to cut it out tho with the moral superiority
that lil story says it all.....how easy would it have been to just check the broad and let her know you ain't with it
basically he don't feel confident that he can control himself in a situation
seems like there are more chinks in the armor in this thread haha
not at all....
y i gotta check her? she was having fun..she did nothing wrong, in fact i did nothing wrong...i handled it the way i shoulda...
i just realized i was playing myself by thinking i could conduct myself the same way i did when i was single......it's like that 40 year old ? partying with college kids...at some point you gotta feel like u don't belong -
Meh.... I don't want married men around me tbh
No offense -
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Knock_Twice wrote: »Now married men can't hang/converse/look at single women now Lol...smh..
If you're married and can't conduct yourself around single ppl (your friends) then that says alot about yourself...? all this avoiding contact and ? ....you aint 5, you know how to leave or know when ? will be tight on you...aint no reason to cut off a good friend over some ? you can't control within yourself...
Married and Bored..I see why most married couples are this way (not saying that's how yo ? is DU)
now i didnt even say all that...and you know i didnt....
but go ahead bruh....
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ring vhames wrote: »Knock_Twice wrote: »Now married men can't hang/converse/look at single women now Lol...smh..
If you're married and can't conduct yourself around single ppl (your friends) then that says alot about yourself...? all this avoiding contact and ? ....you aint 5, you know how to leave or know when ? will be tight on you...aint no reason to cut off a good friend over some ? you can't control within yourself...
Married and Bored..I see why most married couples are this way (not saying that's how yo ? is DU)
now i didnt even say all that...and you know i didnt....
but go ahead bruh....
Du was at a party...not everybody at the party is married...pretty sure more singles were there than married couples IDK..but...
What's so wrong with him being at that party...
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Knock_Twice wrote: »Now married men can't hang/converse/look at single women now Lol...smh..
If you're married and can't conduct yourself around single ppl (your friends) then that says alot about yourself...? all this avoiding contact and ? ....you aint 5, you know how to leave or know when ? will be tight on you...aint no reason to cut off a good friend over some ? you can't control within yourself...
Married and Bored..I see why most married couples are this way (not saying that's how yo ? is DU)
but that ain't always the case....
i do tons of ? , i just know what types of environments are for me and what isn't..
i hit a lotta festivals, crab feasts, concerts, shows..hit up a sports bar for the game, shoot a little pool .....i love bar hopping.....
but if some ? like a pool party, singles only ski trips/cruises, or a pajama/lingerie party... a house party by some you know be on that freaky ? ...then just pass..
i mean everybody pretty much know for the most part what they walking into when they hanging out...
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blakfyahking wrote: »blakfyahking wrote: »we differed on this before blak.....
if a ? willing to lie and be deceptive to someone he shares children, vows, and a bed with every night.....how can i expect him to keep it 100 with just a homeboy?
how 100 do you really need another dude to keep it tho?
for instance, should I cut my own brother off cause he cheats on his wife?
and let's keep it really real......it's a reason why ? cheat on their spouse/gf...........you don't know what happens in their household
so why sit back and try to judge unless the ? did something shady that directly affected you? that's fatherless ? logic IMO
naw yo,you taking it way too far with that....
my whole philosophy is you just don't put no ? in a position to really burn you...
the closer you let someone in, the more you set yourself up for incase ? go bad....
i had close friends do me terribly ? on different occasions.....and as mad as i was at them at that particular moment....over time i've come to the realization and acceptance that they are who they are...
they're consistent.....
if a ? is grimey in damn near every other relationship of his life including his own family ....how can you really expect yourself to be the exception?
so that's what i mean when i say that...i may not completely cut you off cuz you living a double life at home....but i know i can't fully trust you with anything i consider sacred.
simply because our understanding of things that aren't meant to be ? wit greatly differ
you a grown man tho...........how is the bolded even possible?
I wouldn't make myself vulnerable like that for anybody, regardless if they're faithful to their girl or not
honestly it just sounds like you are not confident in your own judgment, or maybe you think people are just that simple/shallow
it's a sign of immaturity to only see ? as black and white cause it's easier to see everything as being that simple..............but one day you'll become experienced and realize that there are some instances where ? will be gray, just keep living bruh
by your logic I should cut off every single ? I know except for my morally superior e-friends like Du and Blackrain
the rest of us are hopeless out here
It's not about being morally superior it's about people whose morals do or don't match up with yours. I'm observant of how people treat others they claim to hold in high regard. If they got no issue doing them ? it puts me on notice they would most likely do me the same way. -
Knock_Twice wrote: »ring vhames wrote: »Knock_Twice wrote: »Now married men can't hang/converse/look at single women now Lol...smh..
If you're married and can't conduct yourself around single ppl (your friends) then that says alot about yourself...? all this avoiding contact and ? ....you aint 5, you know how to leave or know when ? will be tight on you...aint no reason to cut off a good friend over some ? you can't control within yourself...
Married and Bored..I see why most married couples are this way (not saying that's how yo ? is DU)
now i didnt even say all that...and you know i didnt....
but go ahead bruh....
Du was at a party...not everybody at the party is married...pretty sure more singles were there than married couples IDK..but...
What's so wrong with him being at that party...
breh...im not saying dont ever be around single people...lol...go to parties...go out to eat....
all im saying is him going out without his wife...with his boys.... specifically to be around single women....what would be the point? -
Knock_Twice wrote: »Now married men can't hang/converse/look at single women now Lol...smh..I done read it all...
If you're married and can't conduct yourself around single ppl (your friends) then that says alot about yourself...? all this avoiding contact and ? ....you aint 5, you a grown registered voting adult, you should know how to leave or know when ? will be tight on you...aint no reason to cut off a good friend over some ? you can't control within yourself...
Married and Bored..I see why most married couples are this way (not saying that's how yo ? is DU)
So married men should know how to leave yet you saying in every other post that man leaving means he making the wrong move too. Makes sense lol -
Some people can live happily without the drama.
Why subject yourself to it when you know how the situation might turn out.
I mean is it that hard to just say no? You really feel your manhood is threatened when you put aside foolishness for the sake of the fam?
And yall supposed to be the dudes with fathers? -
JonnyRoccIT wrote: »Yeah, My Girl's hoe friends used to try to get her to go do Thot activities and i used to be on her ass about that ? .
But, I'm single now .
. . . It's time to leave this thread .
You wasn't ? her right so it's obvious why she strayed. .
your fault. lame ? -
ShiveDreadz wrote: »Some people can live happily without the drama.
Why subject yourself to it when you know how the situation might turn out.
I mean is it that hard to just say no? You really feel your manhood is threatened when you put aside foolishness for the sake of the fam?
And yall supposed to be the dudes with fathers?
It's the ego of not wanting to put someone else's thoughts and concerns over your own. It's nothing wrong with it it just means you not at the point of being seriously committed. That's perfectly fine but finding fault in those who choose not to put themselves around certain situations is weird as hell. You'd think as much as people talk about needing to do what's right to keep a marriage going it'd be considered the better thing to do and not the "aww man your wife got you by the nuts" attacks at manhood like they trying to soften the blow of being rejected -
blakfyahking wrote: »ShiveDreadz wrote: »Du keeping it 100 though.
The circle damn near disappeared when i realized it takes a certain type of dude to cheat on his woman, especially blatantly.
How can you trust someone like that to hold you down.
I can't necessarily agree with this.........this is some oversimplified feminist-based logic
what a ? do with his woman really ain't got nothing to do with you as a friend
cause you don't know what really happens between them behind closed doors
Not really. You can look at it like this. If you can stand up in front of a room full of people, pledge to honor your wife and you cant keep that promise what's to stop you from lying to me to. I think Du said it before. I'm just a friend, that's your WIFE.
spouse change and friends change.....1 has nothing to do with the other.
like someone said...i dont now whats going on in the household.
so basically because a ? wife is mad an cuts him off from ? an he cheats, his friend wont fukk with him becuase he disloyal to her without knowing the whole story of why hes doing it?
thats too judgmental.
i can say ...? on the IC share ? they wife didnt know an they are disloyal so i dont fukk with them an i would get feelings reactions. -
ring vhames wrote: »blakfyahking wrote: »we differed on this before blak.....
if a ? willing to lie and be deceptive to someone he shares children, vows, and a bed with every night.....how can i expect him to keep it 100 with just a homeboy?
how 100 do you really need another dude to keep it tho?
for instance, should I cut my own brother off cause he cheats on his wife?
and let's keep it really real......it's a reason why ? cheat on their spouse/gf...........you don't know what happens in their household
so why sit back and try to judge unless the ? did something shady that directly affected you? that's fatherless ? logic IMO
because lying...being deceptive is a sign of character....
if the cops come to my house looking for my homie i just spoke to...i most likely would say i didnt speak to him in a while....then call him to give him a heads up.
i just lied..but i lied for a reason.
so should the person i just lied to not fukk with me because i helped save them but showed poor character?
? acting like prima donnas in here -
Iheart~Cali wrote: »Correct me if I'm wrong Du, but I don't think Du is saying he'd totally kick somebody to the curb just for being unfaithful to their spouse. I think it's more so that it'd give him pause about the type of person he is overall. He may not put himself in a position of having to depend on this friend because he knows the friend is the type to knowingly deceive the one person he's supposed to be the closest to.
the thread originally came from her husband's homeboy calling him up to go out and do some scandalous ? .....
i got homeboys...married homeboys that routinely do ? like that all the time....there was a time when i'd be all down to go and party...but that just ain't me no more....so i'd opt out of the invite.....
and over time, when you're opting outta invite after invite, it naturally causes a wedge in the friendship
yall simply not in the same circle no more.....? might still be cool but it's not the way it used to be....
i take my marriage to be sacred, and if i know you don't feel the same way, we're naturally not gonna see eye to eye on things of that importance.....
i'm just addressing it and calling it what it is....
so if they call me like
"yo, leave the wife home and come through friday night... ? playing cards and having a few people over....we might even hit the clubs later"
i already know what the deal is, and i just ain't about that life no more
i feel like if you a real friend....you'd understand and respect that...but a lotta people don't...so as a result....they get cut back
maybe your homies just miss hanging with you.
they can respect your marraige but still want you to be around....that aint nothing more than freinds missing they homie.
but that dont mean you cant hang with them an control yourself and respect your marraige.
i am sure you love your wife alot but it doesnt have to be either or -
lol at taken a unfaithful married ? serious, a non ? fearing ? aint to be trusted, a cheating ? thats scared of a female is straight ?
what about the ? deacons tryna ? all the ? at church on Sunday...don't forget them..lol -
blakfyahking wrote: »blakfyahking wrote: »blakfyahking wrote: »ShiveDreadz wrote: »Du keeping it 100 though.
The circle damn near disappeared when i realized it takes a certain type of dude to cheat on his woman, especially blatantly.
How can you trust someone like that to hold you down.
I can't necessarily agree with this.........this is some oversimplified feminist-based logic
what a ? do with his woman really ain't got nothing to do with you as a friend
cause you don't know what really happens between them behind closed doors
Not really. You can look at it like this. If you can stand up in front of a room full of people, pledge to honor your wife and you cant keep that promise what's to stop you from lying to me to. I think Du said it before. I'm just a friend, that's your WIFE.
what about someone you knew before they got married tho?
is it possible cuzzo was a good dude and then later he got married and ? later went bad?
I just don't see a rational loyal friend judging cause ? in the dude relationship looks bad
that's sounds like you the one who ain't keeping it 100 with ya boy.....like I said you'll never really know that man home situation
another sign that he ain't really keeping it 100 wit you....
before i got married, i asked my ? who was unloyal to their wives....
? ...make me understand this ? ....
and it really wasn't nothing they could really say to justify it....it came down to them wanting to do them....
now i realize that's a very isolated situation of my personal experiences... but it firmly laid the groundwork to my overall impression of them.....
i'm not gonna be on some "i just wanna do me" type ? ...so while i got married homeboys who gives no ? about their wives when they wanna go out n do them.... i can't hang when they up to them type of activities...cuz i do give a ?
why would you even ask or care about the bolded unless that was a strangely sensitive topic for you?
who cares about what their friend is doing unless it's breaking the law or hurting someone innocent? that right there tells me more about you than your friends for you to ask them that
as far as them just doing them........once again keep it real.......? really ain't that simple
mofos are cheating for a real reason
what you think your boy gon break down for you and address his true insecurities and ? ? naw
I wouldn't even feel comfortable with another man being that open about his personal ? like that
whenever i'm making huge decisions i tend to ask others opinions on it to get different perspectives....
i don't assume that i'm always right or that i got it all..so if i consider you a good friend, and value your opinion...i'm going to ask you....
just so happened that one of my closest friends at the time was married for almost 10 years, yet had several kids outside the marriage...naturally i didn't want that for myself...so i felt the urge to ask him....
how did it get to that?
i had several other homeboys that were married...and these ? used to dip off and freak and geek....i knew i didn't want that for me....so i asked them as well...how'd it get to that point.....
cuz i just felt that no body walks into a marriage, knowing at some point they gonna be ? other chicks....something has to lead up to it....so instead of going into it blind....i thought i'd have a real ? to real ? conversations to my homeboys about it all.....? like that was important to me, and i truly wanted to know, at the very least i could prepare myself if i found myself in a similar situation
good ? right here -
? when I got married my boys told me upfront "once you do it I don't want to hear about no other females but your wife, otherwise I'm not listening to that ? ".. If I called my bruh right now on some "let's go get some hoes like we used to for the night" he would hang up on me lol.. That's real ? right there and I appreciate it.. As far as the OP goes I wouldn't have told my wife because I know I'mma still be cool with this dude and he's gonna be coming through so why create that tension between the two of them? I would've just told him friend to friend, man to man that I don't get down like that anymore..
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alvarez_313 wrote: »? when I got married my boys told me upfront "once you do it I don't want to hear about no other females but your wife, otherwise I'm not listening to that ? ".. If I called my bruh right now on some "let's go get some hoes like we used to for the night" he would hang up on me lol.. That's real ? right there and I appreciate it.. As far as the OP goes I wouldn't have told my wife because I know I'mma still be cool with this dude and he's gonna be coming through so why create that tension between the two of them? I would've just told him friend to friend, man to man that I don't get down like that anymore..
mannnnnnn if u dont get this hetero ? out of this faggy thread..
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blakfyahking wrote: »ShiveDreadz wrote: »Du keeping it 100 though.
The circle damn near disappeared when i realized it takes a certain type of dude to cheat on his woman, especially blatantly.
How can you trust someone like that to hold you down.
I can't necessarily agree with this.........this is some oversimplified feminist-based logic
what a ? do with his woman really ain't got nothing to do with you as a friend
cause you don't know what really happens between them behind closed doors
Not really. You can look at it like this. If you can stand up in front of a room full of people, pledge to honor your wife and you cant keep that promise what's to stop you from lying to me to. I think Du said it before. I'm just a friend, that's your WIFE.
spouse change and friends change.....1 has nothing to do with the other.
like someone said...i dont now whats going on in the household.
so basically because a ? wife is mad an cuts him off from ? an he cheats, his friend wont fukk with him becuase he disloyal to her without knowing the whole story of why hes doing it?
thats too judgmental.
i can say ...? on the IC share ? they wife didnt know an they are disloyal so i dont fukk with them an i would get feelings reactions.
you right I wouldnt know and neither would you if it were your friend. It's funny you say that then immediately offer a defense to try and jusitfy cheating. That's an even dumber reason to cheat and would show me his decision making aint on point and would also lead to me distancing myself from them. I never said cut off completely on some ? you forever type ? . It just puts me on notice if it comes down to having to put trust in somebody to have my back in a situation I may have to lean on their decisiom making what types of decisions they tend to make and whether they could be depended on.
I don't get how it's disloyal to distance yourself from somebody who is showing you openly how they treat people that's supposed to be closer to them than you are with no regard. That ? is called being smart not disloyal. -
The differences in opinions on this topic is making for a good read.
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because i dont fully know their situation.
a close friend of mine was married since high school an his wife never wants to do ? ...so they separated an got back together. but when they got back together he found out she never stopped messing with the dude she was seeing during their break. so he started cheating....yea he could have left but he didnt. he instead cheated.
can i really fault dude?
this the same dude that held me down when ? got thick for me on quite a few occassions when he could have just left me to fend for myself...even when i told him to leave.
just because he cheats aint go ? to do with me.
now if we go out an he invites an extra chick for me....i'll let him an the chick know i aint for it and kindly let him know...im cool. i wont take it as him disrespecting my wife because ? gonna try. i understand that. but if it keeps happening then i would have a problem.
now as far as distancing yourself ....if a person treats everybody like ? ....i wont ever get close enough to have to cut them off.
if ? got family issues an puts all his loyalty in his friends....what can i really say?
if a ? treats his freinds like ? but care for his family....again i wont get close enough to have to cut him off.
but i have had to cut ? off who got jealous over other ? over time and friends do change.
now i will agree i will never go a a lingerie party or parties known for getting wild or a strictly single party....i have no reason too because im not trying to hook up. but i hang out with friends.
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some of yall sound like because you got married you need to stop living
just because i got married dont mean i stopped being who i once was.
my life has changed and priorities have changed an i now have commitments an responsibilities.....but if i stop being who i was....that will lead to a mid-life crisis. i see it all the time and still keep seeing it.
when i asked all my friends why they dont like marriage now and ? like @DWO they all said the same thing...they lost themselves in their marraige and stopped enjoying life and others said things just changed.
? my wife knew i was a flirt when we got together....when we got married instead of telling me i need to stop it.....she encourages it in certain situations because it gets us free ? and moved up in line and good customer service. yes, she pimpin me...but thats who i am...so why try to change it? thats when regret sets in
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because i dont fully know their situation.
a close friend of mine was married since high school an his wife never wants to do ? ...so they separated an got back together. but when they got back together he found out she never stopped messing with the dude she was seeing during their break. so he started cheating....yea he could have left but he didnt. he instead cheated.
can i really fault dude?
this the same dude that held me down when ? got thick for me on quite a few occassions when he could have just left me to fend for myself...even when i told him to leave.
just because he cheats aint go ? to do with me.
now if we go out an he invites an extra chick for me....i'll let him an the chick know i aint for it and kindly let him know...im cool. i wont take it as him disrespecting my wife because ? gonna try. i understand that. but if it keeps happening then i would have a problem.
now as far as distancing yourself ....if a person treats everybody like ? ....i wont ever get close enough to have to cut them off.
if ? got family issues an puts all his loyalty in his friends....what can i really say?
if a ? treats his freinds like ? but care for his family....again i wont get close enough to have to cut him off.
but i have had to cut ? off who got jealous over other ? over time and friends do change.
now i will agree i will never go a a lingerie party or parties known for getting wild or a strictly single party....i have no reason too because im not trying to hook up. but i hang out with friends.
It's not just about the cheating that's what you're missing. I mean yeah if I KNOW somebody I'm cool with or one of my boys is ? his wife out I won't instantly be on some "? that ? over there" but I will question the "why" as in "why is he doing this when there's a bunch of easier, less drama filled options to handle this problem" I said it before when this topic came up in that thread Kimi made about her friend,how you make decisions and what influences those decisions are things I notice. So no the cheating itself isn't what would draw the red flag, but the thought process that leads you to think that's the right decision is what would. You got other options to deal with problems in a marriage other than cheating. You take that route to some it shows where your decision making lies. Is it a 100% guarantee? Of course not but I'd rather take the safer route of distancing myself from someone who is showing their ability to make clear decisions vs. acting like ain't ? happening.
