scumbag!

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  • Stew
    Stew Members, Moderators, Writer Posts: 52,234 Regulator
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    I don't wanna change. I got more work to do son.
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  • Dupac
    Dupac Members, Writer Posts: 68,365 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    geechee slim wrote: »
    the story of Nora Behr, aka Momma Bear.

    So, I had this housekeeping gig where we set up a few luxury condos and clean um, and drop off linens for the guests. So theres housekeepers (mostly ladies), housemen (men) and Dispatch.

    Theres a lady named Nora, a housekeeping inspector. Real cool and kinda fuckable. She says "Ira you might meet my daughters today so DON'T BE FRESH!! ( Quote-Unquote)

    I get a phone call in the room and hear
    "Do you wanna help Tianna with her room?"
    "Who's Tianna?"
    "Nora's daughter."
    ".... of course. It never hurts to help."

    *Grinch smile

    I get over there and introduce. She got an attitude but she real real cute. And I coulda swore she was winking at me from time to time. We get to chatting.

    "Why you act like such a dweeb? You need a girlfriend or something? "

    "Why you so stressed? You wanna smoke this blunt or something?"

    "Hold up... You got weed?"

    We step off behind the condos neer a dumpster and blow down a piece a blunt I had. I thought i saw her wink at me so i kiss her hand. She gives me a shotgun, kisses me, and blows out the smoke. We get back in her room and it's back to the kissing. Then we hear someone walk in the suite...

    *sniff sniff
    "The hell smell like cabbage and foot?"

    Tiarra takes OFF in a blitz to the rear bathroom. I'm in the kitchen acting like I'm washing dishes. Nora goes to the room Tiarra is in. 2 minutes later Nora comes to me and slaps the top of my head like three times. She was chest-to-chest on her tippy toes with a finger pointed in my face.

    "NO! NO NO NO! DON'T!!!
    ... And you KNOW what I mean!"

    Tiarra leaves with her mom, turns at me and winks her eye again! So later at the office I tell Nora, "you know I kinda like your daughter. Why I can't take her out?"

    "No! Irah, you didn't notice her eye flinching? She got a head problem."

    Yo you got me looking crazy as hell in this bar laughing my ass off
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  • Mastery
    Mastery Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 14,776 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    AZTG wrote: »
    This thread keeps getting funnier and funnier.
    Be even better if more women shared, instead of two lol
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  • major pain
    major pain Members Posts: 10,293 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    K_Fisher wrote: »
    Okay so we going into L territory..one time I was at a club steaming ? . Am on the floor with a group of people really getting into it so I see this girl I had the biggest crush on for years and she spots me as well ( She was wasted too).Next thing I know she just charges at me and jumps on me.I caught her and tried to lift her ? dancing style..why?I'll never know.Anyway she tried to wrap her legs around my neck but her momentum had sealed her fate.I lost control and swung her backwards and smack into the ground.

    In my head I was trying this

    [img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/13/? -dancing-coverx-large.jpg[/img]

    But what actually happened was this..

    Wh0y1Mh.gif

    Ol girl was out for a good minute but thank goodness she was alright after .Never saw her again after that.I also had the pleasure of carrying the nickname "Randy savage" for a couple of months!

    https://youtu.be/MjtOzLfebgY
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  • riddlerap
    riddlerap Members Posts: 17,132 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    best thread in weeks.. maybe months.
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  • bdbdbd
    bdbdbd Members Posts: 3,168 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    UnknownUser wrote: »
    bdbdbd wrote: »
    *ToothPick voice*

    "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHA i was fooling y'all, maaaaan, I WAS FOOLING Y'ALL...those were jokes.
    whoooo, whoooo.... ahaha

    man ? this im gone"

    :|:(

    Someone ban this ? for a week. How dare he defile the sacristy of this thread. Lets bury all this ? ' post in this thread and act like it didn't happen.

    que hombre?
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  • bdbdbd
    bdbdbd Members Posts: 3,168 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2015
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    @UnknownUser
    story was as real as the air that you breathing right now

    you seen "dont be a menace "?

    peep the first scene

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDgXPmgfH-E

    if you still dont get it, i aint mad at ya bruh..

    ? if someone made me read those long ass posts then revealed it was a lie id probably wanna "ghost dad" that ? through the innernetz too
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  • texas409
    texas409 Members Posts: 20,854 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    bdbdbd wrote: »
    so time goes on, we get back together, we break up, we get back together, break up, the cycle repeats itself.

    and one time, i cant remebmer the exact convo but she questions my performance in the sack... and i replied (i dont know why), something along the lines of "? your ? feel different everytime we ? , its confusing me, ? sometimes you real tight and sometimes you like loose, not real loose but loose"...now remember at this time she the only ? i ? ..... so i was genuinely confused, like how is it so. and she looks me dead in the eye and ses "probably ? sometimes i ? (insert her original ex from my first posts name here)". so yeh apparantly everytime we broke up she was ? her ex. bear in mind when we broke up it was her choice, and we always broke up when he got back into the country...so yeh do the math

    L6, L7...you know what i aint counting the Ls no more

    im not even gonna go into the rest of the story ? its too long but the ultimate L was so toward the end of our 3 year r/ship, we were talking about marriage and ? , butch got me looking at places for us to get married and blah blah blah... i find somwhere (yup sucka ? ) and she like nah i want this one (way more expensive), im like cool let me check it out, come back like "yeh thats cool", she like nah actually i want this one (even more expensive)... im like ok but this is the one.....then she turn around and say "BDBDBD this aint gonna happen"..... "the ? you mean this aint gonna happen?"

    long story short, she turn around and tell me... "im getting married"...im like "yeh i know im looking at all these stupid ? buildings i cant afford of course we getting married" and she says "nah im not getting married to you im getting married to my ex" (not verbatim)



    lord of lords... my heart. MY LORD, the way my heart sunk to the soles of my feet.

    panic.gif
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  • In Your Moms Room
    In Your Moms Room Members Posts: 7,383 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    I say this humbly. But I definitely had the most scumbag story. Shout out to all the scumbags of the allhiphop community tho. I see you.
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  • In Your Moms Room
    In Your Moms Room Members Posts: 7,383 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Call me steph in your mom's room curry. Mvp already locked up.
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  • Recaptimus_Prime360
    Recaptimus_Prime360 Members Posts: 64,801 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Elzo69Renaissance wrote: »
    Cain wrote: »
    So all the L's have been written about? Bring out the W's then

    my ? plz there are definitely more Ls out there, ill bless the thread after dinner

    Oh gawd no. You got worse stories??? Lol
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