True Life: I'm a woman, I don't want kids, and marriage isn't a priority

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  • MsSouthern
    MsSouthern Members, Moderators Posts: 21,791 Regulator
    edited May 2010
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    I don't see anything wrong with this

    Women should be able to live a life that makes them happy. I personally enjoy being a mom ... but it's not for everyone.

    At least you know what you want out of life :tu
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  • Elle_Music
    Elle_Music Members Posts: 926 ✭
    edited May 2010
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    yea ultimately there is nothing wrong with it. It's your life you get to choose what you want to do with it. There are some guys out there who feel the same way you do, the hard thing will be crossing paths with them...

    But I know one couple like this. It's working out for them just fine...They use all their money and time traveling and seeing the world. They have like 2 puppies and that's their children... so eh...to each its own
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  • American Loo VII 3D
    American Loo VII 3D Members Posts: 6,371 ✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    matt- wrote: »
    its almost a certain that something major will happen in your life, such as pregnancy or possible losing a male companion, and you'll be forced to either choose the route you've laid out here or that will all get thrown out the window. I'm just wondering how convicted you are in your belief.

    why are you so convinced that she cant live her entire life happy w/o kids or a husband
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  • 1of1
    1of1 Members Posts: 37,468 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    haute wrote: »
    Seriously, I don't

    And it's not a knock against mothers, its just not something I desire for myself

    Many think women are biggest critics of a woman not wanting children

    But I find that men are the ones who cast the most judgement

    The same ones, screaming no marriage, no this, no that

    Are the same ones quick to talk ? about a woman choosing to do what she wants for her body and her future

    I've dated guys who at first, thought it was cool, or maybe just didnt take what I said seriously

    but as we progress and get more serious, all of a sudden it becomes this big deal

    Im like "dude, I told you thats not what I want for my future, you and your mom need to ? "

    its annoying










    FYI if your under 23 stay the ? outta this convo




    Haute you just wanna get ? really good and then be left alone, don't you?

    I ain't mad at that...
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  • haute
    haute Members Posts: 11,581 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    Elle_Music wrote: »
    How old are you haute?
    25

    and its funny a few years ago this wasn't such an issue

    but now the men I usually go for are hitting 30

    they want to 'settle down'

    I'm fine with marriage, and if I meet the right person I would gladly take it to the next level

    But the next level for me, does not involve kids

    and thats part of the reason me and my ex just couldn't see eye to eye

    he was ready to take that step, but him and his mother would not stop with this baby business,

    and I can't do it, at least not just for the sake of having a husband

    children are something you should desire, and I just dont desire they snotty little ?
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  • Blue Virgo
    Blue Virgo Members Posts: 7,092 ✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    haute wrote: »
    FYI if your under 23 stay the ? outta this convo


    Hey! ? you. I'm 22 and I'm gonna post in here!

    *snaps fingers, rolls eyes, rolls neck*

    ANYWAY.....


    Do what you want and forget what anyone else has to say about it.

    I want kids and a marriage.
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  • longmeat
    longmeat Members Posts: 2,263 ✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    haute wrote: »
    Seriously, I don't

    And it's not a knock against mothers, its just not something I desire for myself

    Many think women are biggest critics of a woman not wanting children

    But I find that men are the ones who cast the most judgement

    The same ones, screaming no marriage, no this, no that

    Are the same ones quick to talk ? about a woman choosing to do what she wants for her body and her future

    I've dated guys who at first, thought it was cool, or maybe just didnt take what I said seriously

    but as we progress and get more serious, all of a sudden it becomes this big deal

    Im like "dude, I told you thats not what I want for my future, you and your mom need to ? "

    its annoying










    FYI if your under 23 stay the ? outta this convo





    I know how you feel, swing both ways. I've seen females get damn near violent because I told them I don't want kids. They quick to tell me I'm selfish and irresponsible too. The ones who get the most upset are single mothers lol. This one ? told me "Well, everyone can't be as lucky as you and not have children!!!" I'm like ? next time abort the little ? if you ain't want him hoe.

    If I can meet a fly ass broad who never wants marriage, or kids I'd be happy as a mahfucka. Until them ima just keep ? and duckin ? .
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  • Darius
    Darius Members Posts: 22,649 ✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    American Loo VII 3D wrote: »
    why are you so convinced that she cant live her entire life happy w/o kids or a husband

    I'm totally convinced she can. But how many people's lives have turned out the way they envisioned?

    Despite birth control, she can still get pregnant, if that happens there will be a choice that has to be made that could interfere with that desired lifestyle.
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  • Ibex
    Ibex Members Posts: 7,935 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    This thread is pointless without pics
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  • American Loo VII 3D
    American Loo VII 3D Members Posts: 6,371 ✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    matt- wrote: »
    I'm totally convinced she can. But how many people's lives have turned out the way they envisioned?

    Despite birth control, she can still get pregnant, if that happens there will be a choice that has to be made that could interfere with that desired lifestyle.

    i think once she gets about 35, if she is still childless, she may begin to have a feeling that she may have made a mistake.

    iono why, maybe not though
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  • Djunior
    Djunior Members Posts: 851
    edited May 2010
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    haute wrote: »





    so yall would be cool being in a relationship with a chick, and possibly marrying her, if she said I don't want kids ever, ever, ever

    Personally, I'd be very cool with it. Are men who have children out of the question?
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  • goat334
    goat334 Members Posts: 3,604 ✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    haute wrote: »
    huh? theyre both 99.99% effective

    I'm not getting preganat

    I've been using BC for 8 years no scares, no hiccups





    so yall would be cool being in a relationship with a chick, and possibly marrying her, if she said I don't want kids ever, ever, ever

    I don't have a problem with it......I leaning towards not wanting kids anymore......
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  • Elle_Music
    Elle_Music Members Posts: 926 ✭
    edited May 2010
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    haute wrote: »
    25

    and its funny a few years ago this wasn't such an issue

    but now the men I usually go for are hitting 30

    they want to 'settle down'

    I'm fine with marriage, and if I meet the right person I would gladly take it to the next level

    But the next level for me, does not involve kids

    and thats part of the reason me and my ex just couldn't see eye to eye

    he was ready to take that step, but him and his mother would not stop with this baby business,

    and I can't do it, at least not just for the sake of having a husband

    children are something you should desire, and I just dont desire they snotty little ?

    ur still really young, there is time for you to change your mind later on down the road... But you sound pretty sure

    Did something happen to you as a kid that made you not want children?
    Not speaking about you, but for the most part from what i see in my personal life with women who don't want kids...it's usually because they have some deep down fear that they aren't mother material and think they would be very detrimental to the child, or something like that....
    Does that apply to you at all?

    And though you don't want your own kids...could you be with someone who already has children?
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  • Coo Coo Cal's Beanie
    Coo Coo Cal's Beanie Members Posts: 3,864 ✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    she's only saying that until she actually dates a man that she can see herself growing old with
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  • haute
    haute Members Posts: 11,581 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    Elle_Music wrote: »
    ur still really young, there is time for you to change your mind later on down the road... But you sound pretty sure

    Did something happen to you as a kid that made you not want children?
    Not speaking about you, but for the most part from what i see in my personal life with women who don't want kids...it's usually because they have some deep down fear that they aren't mother material and think they would be very detrimental to the child, or something like that....
    Does that apply to you at all?

    And though you don't want your own kids...could you be with someone who already has children?
    thats the thing

    I had what i would call a great childhood

    my mom was a stay at mom, she was always there

    my parents were divorced but I saw my father everyday until I was 13, and thats only because I was getting older and didnt want to 'hang' around my parents

    but I had all the love and attention that every child deserves and should have from their parents,


    I just don't feel like....... thats were my purpose is.....

    right now I work with 3 charities, in terms of 'purpose' thats where I see my path leading me, I have the flexibility to get up and work with organizations, I can just pick up and leave when I feel I need/want to.

    I like living my life that way, I feel that I can accomplish everything I want to, that way

    I could date a man with older children, like 14, 15, no babies
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  • b@squ1@t redux
    b@squ1@t redux Members Posts: 13,035 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    true life: im a man, i dont want kids anytime soon, dont give a ? about gettin married anytime soon, and really only care about gettin ? and money.
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  • American Loo VII 3D
    American Loo VII 3D Members Posts: 6,371 ✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    Coo Coo Cal's Beanie wrote: »
    she's only saying that until she actually dates a man that she can see herself growing old with

    "Nice Beanie, Man" -- Beenie Man
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  • Darius
    Darius Members Posts: 22,649 ✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    Identifying what you want and dont want is a great thing. I applaud anyone who can recognize that marraige and kids isn't for them.

    but at some point, you will likely face a moral delimna when trying to stick to your vision. Thats the interesting part.
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  • Elle_Music
    Elle_Music Members Posts: 926 ✭
    edited May 2010
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    matt- wrote: »
    Identifying what you want and dont want is a great thing. I applaud anyone who can recognize that marraige and kids isn't for them.

    but at some point, you will likely face a moral delimna when trying to stick to your vision. Thats the interesting part.

    what makes you say that?
    you don't think she'll find someone who see's things the way she does?

    and haute...
    would you ever consider getting surgery to ensure that you will never be able to have kids...or is doing something like that too permanent?
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  • marie addams
    marie addams Members Posts: 1,699 ✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    ehh. it was something that came and went for me.I was pretty dead set on NOT having children four or five years ago. Thank ? not too many doctors are willing to give hysterectomies to women under a certain age because you never know what your stance will be on certain issues as you grow older.
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  • ChiefyB
    ChiefyB Members Posts: 116
    edited May 2010
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    i couldnt wife a chick who didnt want kids....but we could sure live in the moment
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  • Darius
    Darius Members Posts: 22,649 ✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    Elle_Music wrote: »
    what makes you say that?
    you don't think she'll find someone who see's things the way she does?

    probably so, i'm just speaking in hypotheticals.
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  • Soulljah
    Soulljah Banned Users Posts: 378
    edited May 2010
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    matt- wrote: »
    its always a win when a black woman chooses not to procreate

    Only because IC-like n!ggers are produced.
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  • haute
    haute Members Posts: 11,581 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    I'm not against having my tubes tied, but good luck finding a doctor who would do that for a woman my age
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  • blakfyahking
    blakfyahking Members Posts: 15,785 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
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    all I will say is mofos change their minds when they get older

    I never wanted to be a parent ever, and for every time I think being a parent sucks and I could understand a woman not wanting to deal with kids, then something happens to make me realize there is nothing better than being a father

    at least for me

    of course many others feel differently I guess

    I just find it hard to believe there are actual women who don't want to be mothers :shrugs
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