True Life: I'm a woman, I don't want kids, and marriage isn't a priority
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blakfyahking wrote: »all I will say is mofos change their minds when they get older
I never wanted to be a parent ever, and for every time I think being a parent sucks and I could understand a woman not wanting to deal with kids, then something happens to make me realize there is nothing better than being a father
at least for me
of course many others feel differently I guess
I just find it hard to believe there are actual women who don't want to be mothers
hrugs
they exist, and they're better off not having children -
At least you aint yet another chick with a kid or more that Ive met at 24 years old...
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I know it's hard to believeblakfyahking wrote: »all I will say is mofos change their minds when they get older
I never wanted to be a parent ever, and for every time I think being a parent sucks and I could understand a woman not wanting to deal with kids, then something happens to make me realize there is nothing better than being a father
at least for me
of course many others feel differently I guess
I just find it hard to believe there are actual women who don't want to be mothers :shrugs
I mean most of girlfriends and classmates went to college to find a husband and have babies
most have accomplished that
idk when they were plotting on mr.right in undergrad, I was plotting on experiencing the world -
y not get ? tubes tied?
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I frequent this other female website and quite a few black women on this. I guess they worried bout gettin this money..? i know i am.
I'll prolly marry when im 50 or sum'n when my life is over.. -
fiat_money wrote: »RIP Haute.
she must aint seen the commercials -
I'm not against having my tubes tied, but good luck finding a doctor who would do that for a woman my age
You can find a doc to do it. I gotta vasectomy in feb and the doc was like ? you sure you wanna do this? I was like 150%. The funny part ? with kids always trying to convince me i should kids at the same time being broke, stressed out, and ? off they gotta seed lol. -
I know it's hard to believe
I mean most of girlfriends and classmates went to college to find a husband and have babies
most have accomplished that
idk when they were plotting on mr.right in undergrad, I was plotting on experiencing the world
yeah but once you experience the world, then what is left
leaving a legacy does still count for something in this crazy world
and then especially seeing the bond between a mother and her child, it's just hard to imagine anything else in this world bringing more fulfillment and purpose in life
you have folks bitter cause they can't have their own kids even though there are plenty of children here already who need foster/surrogate parents
so it's just hard to see anything else being comparable, regardless of what else you could experience or achieve in life -
Word, if only she had seen the commercials, maybe things would've turned out differently.thetruth391 wrote: »she must aint seen the commercials
I remember she was posting and making threads like it was just yesterday.
RIP Haute. -
whats left???
The legacy I hope to leave behind
the hundreds of families ive effected
lives that are better because I was able to think of something bigger than myself
when I say 'experiencing' the world, I don't mean just jetsetting here and there
I talking about experiencing how people live, and finding ways to change lives
I'll never know what the bond is between a mother and a child
but that doesn't mean I can't experience something bigger than myself -
whats left???
The legacy I hope to leave behind
the hundreds of families ive effected
lives that are better because I was able to think of something bigger than myself
when I say 'experiencing' the world, I don't mean just jetsetting here and there
I talking about experiencing how people live, and finding ways to change lives
I'll never know what the bond is between a mother and a child
but that doesn't mean I can't experience something bigger than myself
so being a mother means you can't do those other things you still want to do?
I'm not trying to convince you to do something you obviously already made up ya mind on
I'm just trying to understand where you are coming from
what is it that you are trying to do that is mutually exclusive to being a parent? -
Seriously, I don't
And it's not a knock against mothers, its just not something I desire for myself
Many think women are biggest critics of a woman not wanting children
But I find that men are the ones who cast the most judgement
The same ones, screaming no marriage, no this, no that
Are the same ones quick to talk ? about a woman choosing to do what she wants for her body and her future
I've dated guys who at first, thought it was cool, or maybe just didnt take what I said seriously
but as we progress and get more serious, all of a sudden it becomes this big deal
Im like "dude, I told you thats not what I want for my future, you and your mom need to ? "
its annoying
FYI if your under 23 stay the ? outta this convo
sounds like u know what u want in life.....? always want what they cant have...i aint want any kids, or to get married either...now look at me..3 kids and 1 year of marriage under my belt....stick to ya guns HAUTE.... -
There is no way I could do some of things I have done and plan to do and be a good and attentive motherblakfyahking wrote: »so being a mother means you can't do those other things you still want to do?
I'm not trying to convince you to do something you obviously already made up ya mind on
I'm just trying to understand where you are coming from
what is it that you are trying to do that is mutually exclusive to being a parent?
Could I still give? Yes
give in the capacity that I want? No.
And again I'm not knocking motherhood, I think the work that mothers do is good and important
but it's just not for me -
There is no way I could do some of things I have done and plan to do and be a good and attentive mother
Could I still give? Yes
give in the capacity that I want? No.
And again I'm not knocking motherhood, I think the work that mothers do is good and important
but it's just not for me
bet. do ya thing miss -
You can find a doc to do it. I gotta vasectomy in feb and the doc was like ? you sure you wanna do this? I was like 150%. The funny part ? with kids always trying to convince me i should kids at the same time being broke, stressed out, and ? off they gotta seed lol.
I'm sure they are willing to do it for a man because it's easy to reverse it -
Look here, youre 25 but you seem to have the notion that your onto some new ? here. lol Like your the first woman to decide she wants the career, figure, and freedom of a single women.
A little secret for you: 99/100 college educated women that start that way end up married with kids by 35.
Quite frankly, if you look like any worth a damn, you will get wifed (literally, no th slang) and end up with a seed. No man that you consider a 'catch' is gon want no fukin free spirit. Procreation: Its our purpose in life. Cats on here, mainly im guessin age 20-30 single dudes, are gon gas you and tell you are the type of woman they want. ALL LIES. Sure, We want to hang wit u, get drinks wit u, be F buddies wit you, but we dont want to marry you. Cold truth, sweetheart. Trust me. When you accomplish those goals, house, car,etc...you WILL ask yourself the question: Now What? Trust me.
LOL, SMH, WTF, etc...at 1)you thinking kids wont happen, and 2)These ? on here sucking ur nip, co-signing everything u say. Listen to ME, im givin you tough love, not tryna to gain points or whatever this soft, agree with the woman ? that is goin on in here. smh -
? you clearly have not read one post that I made
I'm sure you have lots of babies :-) -
some guy will get you to change your heart and mind
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Yung_Souf_Money wrote: »some guy will get you to change your heart and mind
why do folks say this?
kids aren't for everyone
My Aunt is happily married and never wanted kids. She was content with neices and nephews and her dog . -
whats left???
The legacy I hope to leave behind
the hundreds of families ive effected
lives that are better because I was able to think of something bigger than myself
when I say 'experiencing' the world, I don't mean just jetsetting here and there
I talking about experiencing how people live, and finding ways to change lives
I'll never know what the bond is between a mother and a child
but that doesn't mean I can't experience something bigger than myself
*Confused* Umm, more power to you, ma! Just sounds a lil vague. Sounds like your tryin to reinvent the wheel. *No shots* Have you seen the movie "Up in the Air (George Clooney, 2009)"...i highly recommend it for you.
And no, i have no babies, Im 27, single, the most non-commital ngga i know...and even I know eventually that white flag will get thrown up. Not if, but when. -
You can find a doc to do it. I gotta vasectomy in feb and the doc was like ? you sure you wanna do this? I was like 150%. The funny part ? with kids always trying to convince me i should kids at the same time being broke, stressed out, and ? off they gotta seed lol.
it's different from women. since we're supposed to WANT to have children they are sure that we're not sure of wtf we're talking about.
trust me, unless you go to another country or have crazy money aint no doctor fixing a woman. -
mssouthernthang wrote: »why do folks say this?
kids aren't for everyone
My Aunt is happily married and never wanted kids. She was content with neices and nephews and her dog .
You know how some people act when they fall in love -
Hey Haute,
Your like Mid 20's right? and I think we have a similar view on relationships and ? like that.... but maybe ( i could be wrong) its not that you dont want to eventually start a family (marriage /babies)
but ... its probably because you cant fathom the thought of starting a family because you havent met someone whom you can envision being with for the long haul and creating a baby with Which is more than half the battle.
You probably havent met someone as patient as you and not in a rush. I think these things play a major part in decisions like these. I have a friend whos damn near identical to you. Babies are nice to play with... but for her, Its just not a priority for her... and shes not going to worry about. it
Im sure your the type who wants to do things right the first time...so important decisions like (babies/ marriage) are things you cant rush.
i dunno -
blakfyahking wrote: »yeah but once you experience the world, then what is left
leaving a legacy does still count for something in this crazy world
and then especially seeing the bond between a mother and her child, it's just hard to imagine anything else in this world bringing more fulfillment and purpose in life
you have folks bitter cause they can't have their own kids even though there are plenty of children here already who need foster/surrogate parents
so it's just hard to see anything else being comparable, regardless of what else you could experience or achieve in life
Sorry I have to disagree with you on this.
Look at Oprah. She once said if she had had children, or actually if the child she had at 14 would have lived, her life would have been hella different. And she wasn't meaning in a good way.
I don't know about you. But I would trade all the children in the world for Oprah's life. She has traveled the world many times over, has an amazing career and met ammazing people. Besides that she has a big heart and feels fulfilled helping others. I think that is the type of person T/S is. She said something about charity. I can't hate on that. She is thinking of others.Her legacy will be helping others. It doesn't have to be a child.
