Some men mistake sexual interest for consent,

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  • Madame_CJSkywalker
    Madame_CJSkywalker Members Posts: 940 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2017
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    But these hoes turn around and call you lame for not being aggressive enough

    Someone calls you lame for actually trying to take the time to see what she likes and is cool with...take it as a red flag and keep it pushing

    You're right....
    keep it moving.
    for sure

    The problem is... no one calls you lame in the moment tho.
    They call you lame after the moment is long gone.

    perhaps theres the 0.2% of women who like when you ask.
    "hey, can I kiss you?" "Hey, can we hold hands?" "Hey would you like to engage in sexual activity with me"

    But the majority of women, I can safely assume would like men to shoot their shot.
    It makes them feel special. And it gives them the advantage of being able to accept or deny....
    Plus IMO, women HATE rejection, so why put themselves in a vulnerable position to be rejected.


    you trying to get to know her or figure out what she likes doesn't necessarily require you verbally asking her out right can i have sex with you

    i get it though..

    and true i'm not expected, asked to stick out my neck when it comes to courting, dating and whatnot

    so i didn't mean to be dismissive . it does take some guess work....

    think we can agree though, grabbing on a stranger trying to get their attention, touching a person sexually you have not established a rapport, relationship can be easily misconstrued

    its best for everyone not to shoot your shot in a professional setting...especially not cool if he or she is a subordinate considering the power dynamics

    and after 2,3 rebuffs its time to move on


  • Koltrain
    Koltrain Members Posts: 4,286 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    If some of these chicks think a compliment from a stranger is creepy, then just do the opposite...kick it off with a direct insult.. "Excuse me, but you look horrible, have a great day"
  • Will Munny
    Will Munny Members Posts: 30,199 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    I don’t even make eye contact with women.
  • AggieLean.
    AggieLean. Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 2,325 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    jono wrote: »

    Anyone who has ever had sex, knows how sex happens. They know how it starts. All these inhuman individuals who are confused about relationships and sex probably have never had it or is likely so far removed from dating that their concepts seem foreign to average people.

    Boom, there it is.
  • Madame_CJSkywalker
    Madame_CJSkywalker Members Posts: 940 ✭✭✭✭
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    gorilla wrote: »
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    When i worked corrections ....they had a very important part of the training called “the games inmates play”

    Basically they would put you up on game about the ? inmates do to manipulate officers.....

    There needs to be a class called “the games women play”

    ? you mean your interested in ? but you don’t want to ? ....is you ? or not?? Your girlfriend requested me on fb was eyeing me the whole ? night anyway ...stop playing games....

    This really sounds like some ? chicks used to do right around that age where you stopped listening to your parents when they WASNT there...this issue seems adolescent in nature


    early 20s. had a guy I'd been dealing with invite me over just to watch a movie... no discussion of sex....its like 6 pm...i accept because our first couple of dates was cool and we had chemistry... get to his house. eat. there is no tv in his living room. the only working tv is supposedly in his bedroom. now he tryna get me to drink. wasn't ready to go there with him. I make up an excuse to leave and even then he didn't want to take me home at first

    now I'm thinking had he told me to find a diff way home he prob would have plenty of boys ready to dap him up

    I read this ? again and it got me thinking how funny it was that u posted the bolded

    I mean, how grimy was it for u to come over and get u a free meal 1st before u just so happen to "notice" there was no TV in the living room? u made sure u ate some food before u tried to play innocent like u were really surprised that cuzzo was trying to smash LOL

    he was a real gentleman cuz based on the facts he should've sent u home on that Uber quick.....no daps needed

    funny part is that even if there was a TV in the living room, it should have been understood that there was the obvious implication that he wanted the drawls

    only simp ? put up with ? like preparing home cooked meals for broads who like to play games.......I'm legitimately mad at how u scammed dude and then told the story afterwards like u were an innocent victim :joy:




    nah I'm reaching cuz ya'll could've just brought food to the house.......but my point still stands that u could've easily stated ur intent before u decided to even go there

    Felt like I was clear about me wanting to take things slow previously

    And after I seen what was up wasn't totally truthful about why I had to leave because I was concerned with how I was going to get home

    Prior to that not every time I'd been to the houses of guys I was dating alone was I pressured or even asked to do anything physical ...can't say I was being completely naive


    The real problem is that still men see women as something he can buy .... and there are women who will take advantage

    U got men walking around thinking a drink or dinner and a few compliments guarantees him a woman's time or body off rip... Half the time without much consideration if there's chemistry and the woman is actually sexually attracted to him

    Opposed to blaming women, why not ask men to view women as individuals worth giving the benefit of the doubt and more than just sexual objects to be brought

    So how many dates/how long had you known this guy before you let him pick you up and take you to his home for dinner?

    And then you lied about why you needed to leave (despite you talking that being direct mess in your next post) to use him for a ride home. Why didn't you drive yourself?

    Prior to that, you said not every time a dude has tried to hit. So that means that it did happen at least once, in which case, you knew damn well it was a possibility. And you right, you weren't being naive, you played him basically.


    2 dates... we was cool prior to that as well....probably knew him 4,5 months

    it was just suppose to be us grabbing take out and a movie...as i previously stated i made what i wanted known previous times ...he wasn't the one being upfront

    so considering he wasn't direct with me ... i wasn't direct with him... and like i said i didn't drive there

    i went there for a movie and was never given the impression he wanted more and it was agreed upon he'd pick me up and drive me back home afterward

    but ok... i played him

    *shrugs*
  •   Colin$mackabi$h
    Colin$mackabi$h Members Posts: 16,586 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Will Munny wrote: »
    I don’t even make eye contact with women.

    U hate women
  • gorilla
    gorilla Members Posts: 1,889 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2017
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    gorilla wrote: »
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    When i worked corrections ....they had a very important part of the training called “the games inmates play”

    Basically they would put you up on game about the ? inmates do to manipulate officers.....

    There needs to be a class called “the games women play”

    ? you mean your interested in ? but you don’t want to ? ....is you ? or not?? Your girlfriend requested me on fb was eyeing me the whole ? night anyway ...stop playing games....

    This really sounds like some ? chicks used to do right around that age where you stopped listening to your parents when they WASNT there...this issue seems adolescent in nature


    early 20s. had a guy I'd been dealing with invite me over just to watch a movie... no discussion of sex....its like 6 pm...i accept because our first couple of dates was cool and we had chemistry... get to his house. eat. there is no tv in his living room. the only working tv is supposedly in his bedroom. now he tryna get me to drink. wasn't ready to go there with him. I make up an excuse to leave and even then he didn't want to take me home at first

    now I'm thinking had he told me to find a diff way home he prob would have plenty of boys ready to dap him up

    I read this ? again and it got me thinking how funny it was that u posted the bolded

    I mean, how grimy was it for u to come over and get u a free meal 1st before u just so happen to "notice" there was no TV in the living room? u made sure u ate some food before u tried to play innocent like u were really surprised that cuzzo was trying to smash LOL

    he was a real gentleman cuz based on the facts he should've sent u home on that Uber quick.....no daps needed

    funny part is that even if there was a TV in the living room, it should have been understood that there was the obvious implication that he wanted the drawls

    only simp ? put up with ? like preparing home cooked meals for broads who like to play games.......I'm legitimately mad at how u scammed dude and then told the story afterwards like u were an innocent victim :joy:




    nah I'm reaching cuz ya'll could've just brought food to the house.......but my point still stands that u could've easily stated ur intent before u decided to even go there

    Felt like I was clear about me wanting to take things slow previously

    And after I seen what was up wasn't totally truthful about why I had to leave because I was concerned with how I was going to get home

    Prior to that not every time I'd been to the houses of guys I was dating alone was I pressured or even asked to do anything physical ...can't say I was being completely naive


    The real problem is that still men see women as something he can buy .... and there are women who will take advantage

    U got men walking around thinking a drink or dinner and a few compliments guarantees him a woman's time or body off rip... Half the time without much consideration if there's chemistry and the woman is actually sexually attracted to him

    Opposed to blaming women, why not ask men to view women as individuals worth giving the benefit of the doubt and more than just sexual objects to be brought

    So how many dates/how long had you known this guy before you let him pick you up and take you to his home for dinner?

    And then you lied about why you needed to leave (despite you talking that being direct mess in your next post) to use him for a ride home. Why didn't you drive yourself?

    Prior to that, you said not every time a dude has tried to hit. So that means that it did happen at least once, in which case, you knew damn well it was a possibility. And you right, you weren't being naive, you played him basically.


    2 dates... we was cool prior to that as well....probably knew him 4,5 months

    it was just suppose to be us grabbing take out and a movie...as i previously stated i made what i wanted known previous times ...he wasn't the one being upfront

    so considering he wasn't direct with me ... i wasn't direct with him... and like i said i didn't drive there

    i went there for a movie and was never given the impression he wanted more and it was agreed upon he'd pick me up and drive me back home afterward

    but ok... i played him

    *shrugs*

    Real ? , I'm not trying to attack you at all. I'm just presenting the alternative view. I ain't the dude that believes all women ain't ? and are only here for ? .

    I'm just saying that men and women are both responsible for how we treat each other. Sometime we do ? without thinking about how the other side perceives it. Some people don't give a ? .

    So if ol boy tried to play you for a yamp, I ain't mad at you for playing him for a ride home. The game is the game.

    My only thing is women are notorious for trying to play "dumb" in situations like this. They'll go out with a dude, let him wine and dine and have no interest at all the whole time. Yes, I know dudes will play the whole role of being interested for a long term and then bounce after getting it or what have you, so I'm not ignorant to that. All I'm saying is that there has to be an appropriate amount of accountability on both sides. And I say that in general terms, not specifically your scenario here.
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    gorilla wrote: »
    gorilla wrote: »
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    When i worked corrections ....they had a very important part of the training called “the games inmates play”

    Basically they would put you up on game about the ? inmates do to manipulate officers.....

    There needs to be a class called “the games women play”

    ? you mean your interested in ? but you don’t want to ? ....is you ? or not?? Your girlfriend requested me on fb was eyeing me the whole ? night anyway ...stop playing games....

    This really sounds like some ? chicks used to do right around that age where you stopped listening to your parents when they WASNT there...this issue seems adolescent in nature


    early 20s. had a guy I'd been dealing with invite me over just to watch a movie... no discussion of sex....its like 6 pm...i accept because our first couple of dates was cool and we had chemistry... get to his house. eat. there is no tv in his living room. the only working tv is supposedly in his bedroom. now he tryna get me to drink. wasn't ready to go there with him. I make up an excuse to leave and even then he didn't want to take me home at first

    now I'm thinking had he told me to find a diff way home he prob would have plenty of boys ready to dap him up

    I read this ? again and it got me thinking how funny it was that u posted the bolded

    I mean, how grimy was it for u to come over and get u a free meal 1st before u just so happen to "notice" there was no TV in the living room? u made sure u ate some food before u tried to play innocent like u were really surprised that cuzzo was trying to smash LOL

    he was a real gentleman cuz based on the facts he should've sent u home on that Uber quick.....no daps needed

    funny part is that even if there was a TV in the living room, it should have been understood that there was the obvious implication that he wanted the drawls

    only simp ? put up with ? like preparing home cooked meals for broads who like to play games.......I'm legitimately mad at how u scammed dude and then told the story afterwards like u were an innocent victim :joy:




    nah I'm reaching cuz ya'll could've just brought food to the house.......but my point still stands that u could've easily stated ur intent before u decided to even go there

    Felt like I was clear about me wanting to take things slow previously

    And after I seen what was up wasn't totally truthful about why I had to leave because I was concerned with how I was going to get home

    Prior to that not every time I'd been to the houses of guys I was dating alone was I pressured or even asked to do anything physical ...can't say I was being completely naive


    The real problem is that still men see women as something he can buy .... and there are women who will take advantage

    U got men walking around thinking a drink or dinner and a few compliments guarantees him a woman's time or body off rip... Half the time without much consideration if there's chemistry and the woman is actually sexually attracted to him

    Opposed to blaming women, why not ask men to view women as individuals worth giving the benefit of the doubt and more than just sexual objects to be brought

    So how many dates/how long had you known this guy before you let him pick you up and take you to his home for dinner?

    And then you lied about why you needed to leave (despite you talking that being direct mess in your next post) to use him for a ride home. Why didn't you drive yourself?

    Prior to that, you said not every time a dude has tried to hit. So that means that it did happen at least once, in which case, you knew damn well it was a possibility. And you right, you weren't being naive, you played him basically.


    2 dates... we was cool prior to that as well....probably knew him 4,5 months

    it was just suppose to be us grabbing take out and a movie...as i previously stated i made what i wanted known previous times ...he wasn't the one being upfront

    so considering he wasn't direct with me ... i wasn't direct with him... and like i said i didn't drive there

    i went there for a movie and was never given the impression he wanted more and it was agreed upon he'd pick me up and drive me back home afterward

    but ok... i played him

    *shrugs*

    Real ? , I'm not trying to attack you at all. I'm just presenting the alternative view. I ain't the dude that believes all women and ? and are only here for ? .

    I'm just saying that men and women are both responsible for how we treat each other. Sometime we do ? without thinking about how the other side perceives it. Some people don't give a ? .

    So if ol boy tried to play you for a yamp, I ain't mad at you for playing for a ride home. The game is the game.

    My only thing is women are notorious for trying to play "dumb" in situations like this. They'll go out with a dude, let him win and dine and have no interest at all the whole time. Yes, I know dudes will play the whole role of being interested for a long term and then bounce after getting it or what have you, so I'm not ignorant to that. All I'm saying is that there has to be an appropriate amount of accountability on both sides. And I say that in general terms, not specifically your scenario here.

    when i was young i once had a chick talk all that ? about what she was gonna do.....but she was hungry an if i could come get her an we grab a bite.

    i went got her ..we ordered pizza and was watching tv.

    i ask her whats up..you talked a big game.

    ? asked if i could take her home cause she didnt realize how late it was.

    while i took the immediate L...she married one of my homies years later.

    she stay cheating on that ? .

    so its still kinda an L cause everybody got the ass but me. :'(
  • 5 Grand
    5 Grand Members Posts: 12,869 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Will Munny wrote: »
    I don’t even make eye contact with women.

    Does it work?
  • Splackavelli
    Splackavelli Members Posts: 18,806 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    I hate people especially women.

    I take it back! I don't hate women I wasn't in my right mind! I don't know what I was thinking ! I'm sorry ladies, Splackavelli stil got love for you don't leave me! Pleeaaaseee! Pleeaassse!


    qmtji6a4ewh7.jpg
  • Madame_CJSkywalker
    Madame_CJSkywalker Members Posts: 940 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2017
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    it's disingenuous to tell a young ? to take a woman's word seriously :(

    following that advise will not always end favorably for him....

    but ok

    and this whole idea that my actions were wrong opposed to the means he took to get to his goal just further illustrates the contempt and resentment women face

    which ties in with the ways a lot of men approach women without much consideration of her individuality and wants


  • Madame_CJSkywalker
    Madame_CJSkywalker Members Posts: 940 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2017
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    U can't always foresee what will offend or upset a person

    Same as I'm sure there is someone out there who actually enjoys being grabbed by strange men

    But is it always required you actually act or speak a word(s) before it occurs to you that this word or said action could potentially be offensive

    If some females tell me they prefer that I ask before doing a certain action, and just as many or more females tell me asking would get me disqualified, I have absolutely no way to know which side a female falls on before doing it. All I can do is read the signals as best as I can and take my shot. I'm not sure why this is so hard for you to grasp.

    In regards to touching

    Is it not conventional wisdom that touching someone is an invasion of someone's personal space and typically reserved for those we are intimate with? wouldnt you agree its a good assumption if you have not established trust with a person they aren't going to want you touching them regardless of whether a previous individual or 2 with whom you had little to no rapport responded positively

    Same with referring to a with someone's body, personhood who you barely know

    Don't really see it as being all that hard or confusing

    I guess when women come to the general consensus that "how's ur day going" " what's your name, if you don't mind me asking" is offensive I could sympathize

    lol The whole point is there is no consensus on anything, which is why it's impossible to predict. If we knew that every single woman would receive being touched on the arm badly, none but the most disrespectful would do that. Again, for some females it is offensive. For others, something like that is necessary to break the ice and gain her interest. Sure you could just never touch anyone you don't know, and maybe that approach would keep you out of trouble, but it could also you prevent you from the success you want. It's like promoting abstinence as the best way to avoid pregnancy. That ? doesn't work because it basically ignores human nature. You say you don't see why it's hard or confusing, well you must be a psychological genius because when you read up on this subject, pretty much the only consensus is that human interaction is extremely complicated and there is no rule or set of rules that works in all cases.

    we can never get to a real real consensus ... but we can try to move closer to that goal
  • Will Munny
    Will Munny Members Posts: 30,199 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Meester wrote: »
    Will Munny wrote: »
    I don’t even make eye contact with women.

    U hate women

    I love women, but im scared of the state.
  • The Lonious Monk
    The Lonious Monk Members Posts: 26,258 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    U can't always foresee what will offend or upset a person

    Same as I'm sure there is someone out there who actually enjoys being grabbed by strange men

    But is it always required you actually act or speak a word(s) before it occurs to you that this word or said action could potentially be offensive

    If some females tell me they prefer that I ask before doing a certain action, and just as many or more females tell me asking would get me disqualified, I have absolutely no way to know which side a female falls on before doing it. All I can do is read the signals as best as I can and take my shot. I'm not sure why this is so hard for you to grasp.

    In regards to touching

    Is it not conventional wisdom that touching someone is an invasion of someone's personal space and typically reserved for those we are intimate with? wouldnt you agree its a good assumption if you have not established trust with a person they aren't going to want you touching them regardless of whether a previous individual or 2 with whom you had little to no rapport responded positively

    Same with referring to a with someone's body, personhood who you barely know

    Don't really see it as being all that hard or confusing

    I guess when women come to the general consensus that "how's ur day going" " what's your name, if you don't mind me asking" is offensive I could sympathize

    lol The whole point is there is no consensus on anything, which is why it's impossible to predict. If we knew that every single woman would receive being touched on the arm badly, none but the most disrespectful would do that. Again, for some females it is offensive. For others, something like that is necessary to break the ice and gain her interest. Sure you could just never touch anyone you don't know, and maybe that approach would keep you out of trouble, but it could also you prevent you from the success you want. It's like promoting abstinence as the best way to avoid pregnancy. That ? doesn't work because it basically ignores human nature. You say you don't see why it's hard or confusing, well you must be a psychological genius because when you read up on this subject, pretty much the only consensus is that human interaction is extremely complicated and there is no rule or set of rules that works in all cases.

    we can never get to a real real consensus ... but we can try to move closer to that goal

    Well what is your real goal? Cause it seems like you want to impose a set of rules where there is no basis for such a set. Again, if your advice for men is don't touch women you don't know at all, then what about all those women that respond to touch? I think we all can agree that some dudes take things too far and more can be done to dissuade that. But do you really think demonizing men for every little act is the right solution. So what you don't like the way a particular dude came at you. There is a difference between his style not being your thing and him being outright disrespectful.
  • EmM HoLLa.
    EmM HoLLa. Members Posts: 3,255 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    We have officially entered the twilight zone. A ? can't even initiate conversation without being labeled a predator? ? outta here..
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    chicks out here feeling themselves
  • LordZuko
    LordZuko Members Posts: 2,473 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    There's basically two groups of women supporting this

    Females who are young attractive and take for granted that they can choose from among a number of men.

    The second group are the old ? past their prime and lonely so they want to make it hard for regular ? to attract men. The bitter ? brigade is always accepting new members.
  • LcnsdbyROYALTY
    LcnsdbyROYALTY Members Posts: 13,763 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    jono wrote: »
    5 Grand wrote: »
    How does this sound,

    First offense you get charged with "attempted sexual misconduct" and the charges automatically get dismissed, but it stays on your record for, say, 5 years.

    If it happens again within that 5 years you're probably guilty.

    If you stay out of trouble for the 5 years it gets expunged from your record.

    Basically you get a mulligan.

    how about we recognize that a dude misreading the vibe the chick was giving off and attempting to smash is just that and leave it alone?

    No good comes from microcriminalizing everything a dude does especially when the ? the other party has a hand in leading him in that direction.

    That's exactly what's happening. Feminists are trying to turn everything men do into a crime.
    People don't need or want all these rules in their relationships, if a chick wants to D she knows how to get it and if he knows she thinks she wants it he will shoot his shot.

    All this ? , like the OP, is folks trying to prove they actually do work in the office. Nobody needs all these complications

    I'm taking credit for that term too. Thought it up while I was typing that post.

    GOATed, duly noted and added to my lexicon

    orzah277ti8z.png
  • mryounggun
    mryounggun Members Posts: 13,451 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Bruh, I understand all the talk about it with all the ? going on on the news since the Cosby ? broke. But honestly, it ain't really that hard to NOT sexually harass, assault or ? women, my ? . It just...ain't.
  • Koltrain
    Koltrain Members Posts: 4,286 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    mryounggun wrote: »
    Bruh, I understand all the talk about it with all the ? going on on the news since the Cosby ? broke. But honestly, it ain't really that hard to NOT sexually harass, assault or ? women, my ? . It just...ain't.

    Yeah.....for now. What about 5 to 10 years from now?
  • playmaker88
    playmaker88 Members Posts: 67,905 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Koltrain wrote: »
    mryounggun wrote: »
    Bruh, I understand all the talk about it with all the ? going on on the news since the Cosby ? broke. But honestly, it ain't really that hard to NOT sexually harass, assault or ? women, my ? . It just...ain't.

    Yeah.....for now. What about 5 to 10 years from now?

    ? . Wrong was wrong 5 years ago 50 years ago 500 years ago and will be 500 years from now
  • konceptjones
    konceptjones Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 13,139 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Koltrain wrote: »
    mryounggun wrote: »
    Bruh, I understand all the talk about it with all the ? going on on the news since the Cosby ? broke. But honestly, it ain't really that hard to NOT sexually harass, assault or ? women, my ? . It just...ain't.

    Yeah.....for now. What about 5 to 10 years from now?

    ? . Wrong was wrong 5 years ago 50 years ago 500 years ago and will be 500 years from now

    Nah bruh, ? that was ok back when I was in college doesn't fly at all. If a chick falls through and y'all pouring drinks back inna day it was ok to ? . Nowadays if you even try to smash you're looking at an attempted ? charge. Never mind the fact that you're as ? and can't consent to sex either, common sense ? like that doesn't matter: the man in the situation is supposed to be of strong constitution and can decline offers of sex despite being intoxicated. If not, a ? charge, prison time, and sex offender registration is in your future.
  • MarcusGarvey
    MarcusGarvey Members Posts: 4,569 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited December 2017
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    Yall making this too complicated

    Theres a difference between work and outside of work

    •Don't be pulling out your ? at work like its a sign here sticker. In fact dont even talk that talk at work with any woman

    •Don't touch women sexually without their consent

    Outside of work, keep spitting them lyrics ? what these #MeToo bishes say. A chick should be flattered A man noticed her.

    lol i was gonna goat this til the last line

    Other than women at work, A man should be able to ask a chick if shes down for the pound. Shes free to say no. What world are we living in - as long as i dont ? , whats the issue?