How do you truly feel about monogamy? Is it your true preference?
Options
Comments
-
1800skypager wrote: »Monogamy is white folks ideaology. The white man is impotent and can only handle one woman so he thinks everyone else should too... Back when the Nubians ruled the world it wasn't abnormal for men to have several wives... Most black men are "unfaithful" because it's not in their nature to be with one woman... In actuality men are supposed to be polygamous by nature and woman are supposed to be monogamous.
Having said that, polygamy isn't about having sex with a bunch of different women... It's about having an extended family and spreading your seed with superior women. It takes a real MAN not MALE to do this. A man must be exceptional to take care of multiple women.
what utter ? there's quality over quantity in monogamous society. and ? out of here with that superior seed bull.
mankind has basically moved towards monogamous relationships because they are superior in terms of raising children and creates a better spread of resources. no superior woman would accept being in one of many wives. -
The Iconoclast wrote: »@FOSKA
You’re reducing the monogamy vs. non-monogamy discussion to a simple matter about sexual self-control. It’s much more complex than that. Are you refusing to rise to the established level of discourse in this thread on purpose or are you truly incapable of thinking critically?
It is possible to have for example - a polyamorous relationship - and exhibit self-control while upholding established trust. To insinuate otherwise, is fallacious. Stop with the sweeping generalizations.
Marriage is a culmination of monogamy and there's various infidelity studies out there; some conclude that there’s a 30-60% chance of infidelity and some say the percentage is around 25%. Nonetheless I use the subjective word ‘good’ to the describe to percentage because it, like a word such as ‘significant’, is descriptive and encompasses all of the various studies without having to specifically chose one over the other.
Here’s some statistics:
http://www.toddkshackelford.com/downloads/Buss-Shackelford-JRP-1997.pdf
http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/publications/PDF/Infidelity in hetero couples.pdf
For the record, when I say someone isn’t naturally monogamous, I’m not implying that individual is born with a preference or choice in relationships. No one is, everyone is conditioned by their environment to prefer a type of relationship and their preference is neither inherently right nor wrong. When I say natural, in this instance I’m referring to a person’s conditioned predisposition. Like Empress and others in this thread alluded to, what’s natural to one person may not be natural to another.
Nothing I said was presumptuous. Everything I actually presented as a fact, is back by statistics and empirical data.
Anything I posted in this thread that isn’t derived from data was purposely worded to elicit subjective discourse and opinions centered on an individual’s perspective on relationships. I wanted to invoke the most intelligent/knowledgeable posters on this forum’s insight (which thankfully, I did) and I loved hearing everyone’s perspective in my thread, this isn’t a debate, this is a mature discussion.
It’s pretty ironic that you’ve criticized posts in this thread for flawed logic, when every post you’ve made in this thread is rooted in flawed logic driven by false equivalence fallacies. FWIW I prefer monogamy, but I refuse to allow you to attack non-monogamy with such flawed logic. It’s fairly obvious to anyone that you’re clearly a proponent of monogamy, so try arguing for it instead of arguing vehemently against non-monogamy. It would make your posts in here more constructive and less ignorant.
Live your life, there's no inherently right or wrong preference.
I get the impression I upset you, my apologies.
As I said in my post I respond to what I can be bothered to so I won't write you a titangraph. I wont even respond with childish insults.
I could attack this from a non sexual angle all day long, and I think deep down you know that. I could rip those 'statistics' to shreads and I could point out your contradictory use of the word 'natural'. All I'll say is don't get me confused I didn't attack non-monogamy, I attacked the ridiculous presentation of a support for it. I.e I responded to your OP.
I'm very busy, I don't do back and forths on the internet so have a nice day. -
1800skypager wrote: »Monogamy is white folks ideaology. The white man is impotent and can only handle one woman so he thinks everyone else should too... Back when the Nubians ruled the world it wasn't abnormal for men to have several wives... Most black men are "unfaithful" because it's not in their nature to be with one woman... In actuality men are supposed to be polygamous by nature and woman are supposed to be monogamous.
Having said that, polygamy isn't about having sex with a bunch of different women... It's about having an extended family and spreading your seed with superior women. It takes a real MAN not MALE to do this. A man must be exceptional to take care of multiple women.
what utter ? there's quality over quantity in monogamous society. and ? out of here with that superior seed bull.
mankind has basically moved towards monogamous relationships because they are superior in terms of raising children and creates a better spread of resources. no superior woman would accept being in one of many wives.
I sense feelings.... but …
You know you can meet MORE THAN ONE woman of "quality" right?
-
Knock_Twice wrote: »Good thread..
Actually was speaking my case to a friend of mine to why "I" believe that there is a "perfect one" for a person and she stated otherwise. I stand on it because if you have a list or expectations for a certain mate you're seeking, I believe that you can find that person if those expectations are reasonable with your life or life in generally...I think folks who don't believe in the whole perfect person is because their expectations of a person/mate that they have are out the box and outta touch with life..or they have too many excuses and live off of sayings such as "it's what you make of it" like what does that even mean..to me it means settling (but I'm not saying that they are wrong and I'm right) but this is just my belief that I think there is a "perfect one".
So I stand on the fact that a monogamy can work if ppl just give ppl chances and stop settling..and stop with the outta of box expectations
You gonna be on a lifelong search to find that "perfect one" 'cause a perfect woman doesn't exist. It's up to you to sculpt one to your liking though, feel?
-
Nah, we both know you've proven yourself to be incapable of that. Which explains your willingness to bow out gracefully and leave the thread, and not confront me nor back anything you've spouted thus far, with statistics or empirical data, that clashes with the peer reviewed articles done by clinical and evolutionary psychologists.The Iconoclast wrote: »@FOSKA
You’re reducing the monogamy vs. non-monogamy discussion to a simple matter about sexual self-control. It’s much more complex than that. Are you refusing to rise to the established level of discourse in this thread on purpose or are you truly incapable of thinking critically?
It is possible to have for example - a polyamorous relationship - and exhibit self-control while upholding established trust. To insinuate otherwise, is fallacious. Stop with the sweeping generalizations.
Marriage is a culmination of monogamy and there's various infidelity studies out there; some conclude that there’s a 30-60% chance of infidelity and some say the percentage is around 25%. Nonetheless I use the subjective word ‘good’ to the describe to percentage because it, like a word such as ‘significant’, is descriptive and encompasses all of the various studies without having to specifically chose one over the other.
Here’s some statistics:
http://www.toddkshackelford.com/downloads/Buss-Shackelford-JRP-1997.pdf
http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/publications/PDF/Infidelity in hetero couples.pdf
For the record, when I say someone isn’t naturally monogamous, I’m not implying that individual is born with a preference or choice in relationships. No one is, everyone is conditioned by their environment to prefer a type of relationship and their preference is neither inherently right nor wrong. When I say natural, in this instance I’m referring to a person’s conditioned predisposition. Like Empress and others in this thread alluded to, what’s natural to one person may not be natural to another.
Nothing I said was presumptuous. Everything I actually presented as a fact, is back by statistics and empirical data.
Anything I posted in this thread that isn’t derived from data was purposely worded to elicit subjective discourse and opinions centered on an individual’s perspective on relationships. I wanted to invoke the most intelligent/knowledgeable posters on this forum’s insight (which thankfully, I did) and I loved hearing everyone’s perspective in my thread, this isn’t a debate, this is a mature discussion.
It’s pretty ironic that you’ve criticized posts in this thread for flawed logic, when every post you’ve made in this thread is rooted in flawed logic driven by false equivalence fallacies. FWIW I prefer monogamy, but I refuse to allow you to attack non-monogamy with such flawed logic. It’s fairly obvious to anyone that you’re clearly a proponent of monogamy, so try arguing for it instead of arguing vehemently against non-monogamy. It would make your posts in here more constructive and less ignorant.
Live your life, there's no inherently right or wrong preference.
I get the impression I upset you, my apologies.
As I said in my post I respond to what I can be bothered to so I won't write you a titangraph. I wont even respond with childish insults.
I could attack this from a non sexual angle all day long, and I think deep down you know that. I could rip those 'statistics' to shreads and I could point out your contradictory use of the word 'natural'. All I'll say is don't get me confused I didn't attack non-monogamy, I attacked the ridiculous presentation of a support for it. I.e I responded to your OP.
I'm very busy, I don't do back and forths on the internet so have a nice day.
Leaving this thread is the most intelligent thing you've done so far.
-
1800skypager wrote: »Knock_Twice wrote: »Good thread..
Actually was speaking my case to a friend of mine to why "I" believe that there is a "perfect one" for a person and she stated otherwise. I stand on it because if you have a list or expectations for a certain mate you're seeking, I believe that you can find that person if those expectations are reasonable with your life or life in generally...I think folks who don't believe in the whole perfect person is because their expectations of a person/mate that they have are out the box and outta touch with life..or they have too many excuses and live off of sayings such as "it's what you make of it" like what does that even mean..to me it means settling (but I'm not saying that they are wrong and I'm right) but this is just my belief that I think there is a "perfect one".
So I stand on the fact that a monogamy can work if ppl just give ppl chances and stop settling..and stop with the outta of box expectations
You gonna be on a lifelong search to find that "perfect one" 'cause a perfect woman doesn't exist. It's up to you to sculpt one to your liking though, feel?
Until then, I'd just knock down the ones that are not perfect and continue my quest
I'm not trying to 'change' anybody...tough task to do
-
no feelings but no two women are the same.1800skypager wrote: »1800skypager wrote: »Monogamy is white folks ideaology. The white man is impotent and can only handle one woman so he thinks everyone else should too... Back when the Nubians ruled the world it wasn't abnormal for men to have several wives... Most black men are "unfaithful" because it's not in their nature to be with one woman... In actuality men are supposed to be polygamous by nature and woman are supposed to be monogamous.
Having said that, polygamy isn't about having sex with a bunch of different women... It's about having an extended family and spreading your seed with superior women. It takes a real MAN not MALE to do this. A man must be exceptional to take care of multiple women.
what utter ? there's quality over quantity in monogamous society. and ? out of here with that superior seed bull.
mankind has basically moved towards monogamous relationships because they are superior in terms of raising children and creates a better spread of resources. no superior woman would accept being in one of many wives.
I sense feelings.... but …
You know you can meet MORE THAN ONE woman of "quality" right?
-
I wish my husband would find another suitable wife already, running this house is a lot of work, I'm trying to ? his ass of a couple of days lol
Too many thots in detroit tho, I gotta find another african
Damn... damn. LOL. -
I can understand why some people would prefer not to be in a monogamous relationship, but everytime I hang out with my single friends I come home happy I'm in one. All the ? the put with just for some new ? every now and then ain't worth it IMO.
-
[quote="mryounggun;7250374"this is what never bought about the 'monogamy ain't natural' argument. We don't make that same argument about any other thing that isn't natural.[/quote]
Word I've always thought that ? was a cop out. It's basically saying 'it's hard so it's unnatural therefore I'm not gonna try'
Hell being responsible and getting bills paid is hard. Getting up and going to the gym is hard, going to work everyday is hard..etc -
UinitiatedMgt wrote: »Choosing monogamy, for me, has everything to do with looking ahead to what environment offspring is developed in.
? that last name thread.
Umm I think you are confusing ? with multiple baby mamas all over the place who aren't in their kids lives with a polygamous family where the father takes care of all the kids and the wives.
Those are two very different scenarios, trust me
I thought about a situation like that where 1. the man is capable of taking care of all his kids and his multipe wives no problem and 2. each of his wives is strictly monogamous to him and only him sexually. -
UinitiatedMgt wrote: »UinitiatedMgt wrote: »Choosing monogamy, for me, has everything to do with looking ahead to what environment offspring is developed in.
? that last name thread.
Umm I think you are confusing ? with multiple baby mamas all over the place who aren't in their kids lives with a polygamous family where the father takes care of all the kids and the wives.
Those are two very different scenarios, trust me
I thought about a situation like that where 1. the man is capable of taking care of all his kids and his multipe wives no problem and 2. each of his wives is strictly monogamous to him and only him sexually.
thats how nature intended my dear friend... -
Knock_Twice wrote: »Good thread..
Actually was speaking my case to a friend of mine to why "I" believe that there is a "perfect one" for a person and she stated otherwise. I stand on it because if you have a list or expectations for a certain mate you're seeking, I believe that you can find that person if those expectations are reasonable with your life or life in generally...I think folks who don't believe in the whole perfect person is because their expectations of a person/mate that they have are out the box and outta touch with life..or they have too many excuses and live off of sayings such as "it's what you make of it" like what does that even mean..to me it means settling (but I'm not saying that they are wrong and I'm right) but this is just my belief that I think there is a "perfect one".
So I stand on the fact that a monogamy can work if ppl just give ppl chances and stop settling..and stop with the outta of box expectations
Your concept of 'the one' is flawed. What you are describing is someone who satisfies all the various requirements you have for a mate. Anyone.
When people say 'the one', they mean just that. ONE specific person who is meant for you, is perfect for you, etc. -
mryounggun wrote: »Ideally, I'd be able to go out and ? someone else and women would understand that men ? someone else rarely means they don't love or care about you. But at this point in my life, I don't have a problem controlling myself and not ? other women so monogamy works out fine for me.
goated just for keepin it funky -
Monogamy. Everyone wants to sell it but nobody wants to buy it.
-
Lot of dudes confusing actively making a choice with passively having something chose for you.
-
ShiveDreadz wrote: »Lot of dudes confusing actively making a choice with passively having something chose for you.
right..
? in here sayin they choose monogamy like they chose christ..
WRONG..
yall wasnt given an option..
u was indoctrinated in that ? .. -
BOSSExcellence wrote: »ShiveDreadz wrote: »Lot of dudes confusing actively making a choice with passively having something chose for you.
right..
? in here sayin they choose monogamy like they chose christ..
WRONG..
yall wasnt given an option..
u was indoctrinated in that ? ..
that ain't even true bruh lol...
-
Pretty sure you didn't pop out of ya mammy's ass believing in Jesus (assuming you do)... so you've been inculcated by your pastors, family, friends, govt., & etc...
-
1800skypager wrote: »Pretty sure you didn't pop out of ya mammy's ass believing in Jesus (assuming you do)... so you've been inculcated by your pastors, family, friends, govt., & etc...
only reason why i dont believe in Jesus is cause I STOPPED believin in Jesus..
but make no mistake.. i was "born and raised in the church.."
moms didnt say here Boo.. u can be Christian.. Muslim.. Buddhist.. Catholic.. Agnostic or Atheist..
i wasnt given that option.. i was born Baptist and to even question it would doom me to hell.. and they do a good job terrifying kids in Sunday School into blind servitude..
question..
has anyone ever been told anything other then ur only suppose to be wit one woman or ur to be the only woman??!
has anyone been told nothin is wrong wit having more then one woman so long as ur a man to all??
doubt it..
and THATS why its an indoctrination.. -
BOSSExcellence wrote: »1800skypager wrote: »Pretty sure you didn't pop out of ya mammy's ass believing in Jesus (assuming you do)... so you've been inculcated by your pastors, family, friends, govt., & etc...
only reason why i dont believe in Jesus is cause I STOPPED believin in Jesus..
but make no mistake.. i was "born and raised in the church.."
moms didnt say here Boo.. u can be Christian.. Muslim.. Buddhist.. Catholic.. Agnostic or Atheist..
i wasnt given that option.. i was born Baptist and to even question it would doom me to hell.. and they do a good job terrifying kids in Sunday School into blind servitude..
question..
has anyone ever been told anything other then ur only suppose to be wit one woman or ur to be the only woman??!
has anyone been told nothin is wrong wit having more then one woman so long as ur a man to all??
doubt it..
and THATS why its an indoctrination..
I shoulda quoted Simba; wasn't referring to you P.
Man growing up you're taught about religion around the same time you're told about Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and all that ? , but me?, I wrote Jesus and the Devil off as a fairy tale cause that's what that ? (religion) sounded like when I was 5...
My mom never took me to church, but my grandma tried to pull me in that direction. I told them I wasn't going to church on Sunday, and I'd rather stay at home 'cause Sunday service is a joke... I was labeled a "heathen" but whatever... I peeped game l early when I was a youngin.
I was and am too much of a thinker to subscribe to religion or someone's philosophy.
-
monogamy is a eurocentric, christian, western philosopher white cracka's ism. monogamy is for indians and not chiefs. a streetwise ? like myself just too smart to know the deal. that's why multiple ? with a brain ? with this chief's ism. this video simplifies things for the squares that drank square middle america's kool aid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVJduMnXAns -
jus came from seein "Get On Up" last night wit one of my girls.. Brother Brown said some profound ? regarding the relationship between a man and his woman.. he even kept it spiritual for Reppin. lol
i gotta see if i can find it before i ? up the quote. lol -
Malcolm Xtra wrote: »If a man cant provide for all his women and his offspring then he shouldn't be practicing polygamy, he needs to be in a monogamous relationship.
if a man cant provide for his woman and/or offspring he's no man..
even moreso he shouldnt be in no relationship ANYWAY...
but this the funny part..
how many ? u know aint ? BUT STILL manage to have a girl due to the push of monogamy??
oh yeh.. couldnt find a quote either.. -
polygamy is fine for more primitive society but will not work in ours. unfortunately that is how it is and no fantasy living you guys do will change that. and simply ? various women is not polygamy
