Fellas and Women in a relationship, need some real help
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silverfoxx wrote: »blakfyahking wrote: »the question I have is sex the only issue where ya'll having a disconnect
cuz either u might not know how to interact with her without trying to ? all the time
or there are other issues beneath the surface, and everything is just a veil of getting along until u try to bust it open
not enough details to really know
Yes pretty much. No other disconnections. We had some and worked passed every issues.
if that's the case then just be prepared to accept that this will continue to be an issue
it only gets harder to reinvent the spark over and over again as u stay together longer
incompatible sex drives are really a dealbreaker but society pressures people to compromise
hence u see so many other mofos pretending like they are happy in their relationship when really they are miserable
I say cut her loose and let her earn her spot back, but that's just me
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There's a bunch of things that can affect sex drive. It could be BC as Gabi mentioned or something going on personal that's affecting her and her desire to have sex. Just sit and talk with her. Make sure y'all are on the same page in terms of what you both expect from each other sexually.
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or the girl is just tired...
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There's a bunch of things that can affect sex drive. It could be BC as Gabi mentioned or something going on personal that's affecting her and her desire to have sex. Just sit and talk with her. Make sure y'all are on the same page in terms of what you both expect from each other sexually.
I honestly believe we are on the same page. We had a nice decent talk with each other. And we both apologize.
My main thing with this thread was to figure out ways to calm down my sex drive. -
Maybe she was using the sex to lure you in...
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silverfoxx wrote: »There's a bunch of things that can affect sex drive. It could be BC as Gabi mentioned or something going on personal that's affecting her and her desire to have sex. Just sit and talk with her. Make sure y'all are on the same page in terms of what you both expect from each other sexually.
I honestly believe we are on the same page. We had a nice decent talk with each other. And we both apologize.
My main thing with this thread was to figure out ways to calm down my sex drive.
but why in the world would u want to do that ? for?
why u purposely trying to neuter yaself?
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She has real hormonal issues going on like stress, medication, Etc. Advising this man to up and leave her is very ? -up. This is something that ebbs and flows and if you're in a real relationship you should understand that. him saying they are able to work through other issues they have means that they have a decent chance of getting through this one because they can communicate. Telling somebody to up and leave their spouse when their spouse Is under stress and might have some birth control that just might need to be tweaked is really bad advice.
Gahdamn y'all gonna have this young man leave a woman he cares about and then go out there looking for some hoe. and then clown him when he gets played.
Sexual compatibility is Paramount of course. I get that. But at the end of the day, that can't be the only thing that gets the relationship by. The most important thing is that you can communicate your needs and she can communicate hers. If she's unwilling to try to get it poppin that's different. I'm sure if the shoe were on the other foot and there was some biological reason for your ? not working, you would expect her to understand.
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silverfoxx wrote: »There's a bunch of things that can affect sex drive. It could be BC as Gabi mentioned or something going on personal that's affecting her and her desire to have sex. Just sit and talk with her. Make sure y'all are on the same page in terms of what you both expect from each other sexually.
I honestly believe we are on the same page. We had a nice decent talk with each other. And we both apologize.
My main thing with this thread was to figure out ways to calm down my sex drive.
Find other ways to focus that energy. Go to the gym or find some hobbies. You would be shocked at how much time and energy you expend doing other ? and take your mind off sex -
She has real hormonal issues going on like stress, medication, Etc. Advising this man to up and leave her is very ? -up. This is something that ebbs and flows and if you're in a real relationship you should understand that. him saying they are able to work through other issues they have means that they have a decent chance of getting through this one because they can communicate. Telling somebody to up and leave their spouse when their spouse Is under stress and might have some birth control that just might need to be tweaked is really bad advice.
Gahdamn y'all gonna have this young man leave a woman he cares about and then go out there looking for some hoe. and then clown him when he gets played.
Sexual compatibility is Paramount of course. I get that. But at the end of the day, that can't be the only thing that gets the relationship by. The most important thing is that you can communicate your needs and she can communicate hers. If she's unwilling to try to get it poppin that's different. I'm sure if the shoe were on the other foot and there was some biological reason for your ? not working, you would expect her to understand.
As long as she dont hold out on him for 2.5 yrs he'll be aight -
She has real hormonal issues going on like stress, medication, Etc. Advising this man to up and leave her is very ? -up. This is something that ebbs and flows and if you're in a real relationship you should understand that. him saying they are able to work through other issues they have means that they have a decent chance of getting through this one because they can communicate. Telling somebody to up and leave their spouse when their spouse Is under stress and might have some birth control that just might need to be tweaked is really bad advice.
Gahdamn y'all gonna have this young man leave a woman he cares about and then go out there looking for some hoe. and then clown him when he gets played.
Sexual compatibility is Paramount of course. I get that. But at the end of the day, that can't be the only thing that gets the relationship by. The most important thing is that you can communicate your needs and she can communicate hers. If she's unwilling to try to get it poppin that's different. I'm sure if the shoe were on the other foot and there was some biological reason for your ? not working, you would expect her to understand.
Thanks @Westie
We spoken about it. I'm man enough to admit that I can see times where I honestly did have sexual expectations constantly, so I believe there is truth to that ? . My girl is not asking for alot, she is just asking for normacy , and not feeling the need to feel the pressure to ? . I don't feel that I do pressure her, but I can AT LEAST try to see where she stand first before I get all defensive and contemplate leaving her. -
She has real hormonal issues going on like stress, medication, Etc. Advising this man to up and leave her is very ? -up. This is something that ebbs and flows and if you're in a real relationship you should understand that. him saying they are able to work through other issues they have means that they have a decent chance of getting through this one because they can communicate. Telling somebody to up and leave their spouse when their spouse Is under stress and might have some birth control that just might need to be tweaked is really bad advice.
Gahdamn y'all gonna have this young man leave a woman he cares about and then go out there looking for some hoe. and then clown him when he gets played.
Sexual compatibility is Paramount of course. I get that. But at the end of the day, that can't be the only thing that gets the relationship by. The most important thing is that you can communicate your needs and she can communicate hers. If she's unwilling to try to get it poppin that's different. I'm sure if the shoe were on the other foot and there was some biological reason for your ? not working, you would expect her to understand.
As long as she dont hold out on him for 2.5 yrs he'll be aight
Lol ? -
silverfoxx wrote: »There's a bunch of things that can affect sex drive. It could be BC as Gabi mentioned or something going on personal that's affecting her and her desire to have sex. Just sit and talk with her. Make sure y'all are on the same page in terms of what you both expect from each other sexually.
I honestly believe we are on the same page. We had a nice decent talk with each other. And we both apologize.
My main thing with this thread was to figure out ways to calm down my sex drive.
Find other ways to focus that energy. Go to the gym or find some hobbies. You would be shocked at how much time and energy you expend doing other ? and take your mind off sex
Now we speaking my G! Working on music, learning German, writing a script, making promo vids for DJs, reading and trying to find a job all right now.
I definitely believe I'll be better whenever I find a consistent job. I believe stress and pressure to provide for my S/O while obtaining my goals and finishing my degree factors in to me just trying to wanna ? all the time to relieve stress.
I'm gonna work extra hard to fix my part. -
She has real hormonal issues going on like stress, medication, Etc. Advising this man to up and leave her is very ? -up. This is something that ebbs and flows and if you're in a real relationship you should understand that. him saying they are able to work through other issues they have means that they have a decent chance of getting through this one because they can communicate. Telling somebody to up and leave their spouse when their spouse Is under stress and might have some birth control that just might need to be tweaked is really bad advice.
Gahdamn y'all gonna have this young man leave a woman he cares about and then go out there looking for some hoe. and then clown him when he gets played.
Sexual compatibility is Paramount of course. I get that. But at the end of the day, that can't be the only thing that gets the relationship by. The most important thing is that you can communicate your needs and she can communicate hers. If she's unwilling to try to get it poppin that's different. I'm sure if the shoe were on the other foot and there was some biological reason for your ? not working, you would expect her to understand.
shorty this lil ? is 25
his yungin is a gf, NOT a spouse
he already said this is his 1st relationship so he feeling his way thru it
I advise him to be himself, if shorty ain't willing to meet him at the same level then she just might not be the one for him
a female with a high sex drive doesn't have to be a hoe LOL.......it's ironic that feminist logic is constantly preaching assertive female sexuality but then at the same time think it's ok for a healthy young man to essentially castrate himself to accomodate a chick that he only been with six months
if the ? is an issue now, what's gon happen later when they are married and kids deep in a relationship and now he resentful and smashing other chicks on the side...........then u will call him a dirtbag when he should've just let shorty loose now
shorty u part of the problem telling this dude to live in Disneyland....he already said there ain't no other issues so what more are u asking him to do other than compromise himself just to pay for it later? -
flip this ? around......a female comes in the thread and says her man doesn't want sex enough
we all know the double standard of how the response would be
ya'll need to cut the ? and be honest for once in G&S :joy: -
blakfyahking wrote: »She has real hormonal issues going like stress, medication, Etc. Advising this man to up and leave her is very ? -up. This is something that ebbs and flows and if you're in a real relationship you should understand that. him saying they are able to work through other issues they have means that they have a decent chance of getting through this one because they can communicate. Telling somebody to up and leave their spouse when their spouse Is under stress and might have some birth control that just might need to be tweaked is really bad advice.
Gahdamn y'all gonna have this young man leave a woman he cares about and then go out there looking for some hoe. and then clown him when he gets played.
Sexual compatibility is Paramount of course. I get that. But at the end of the day, that can't be the only thing that gets the relationship by. The most important thing is that you can communicate your needs and she can communicate hers. If she's unwilling to try to get it poppin that's different. I'm sure if the shoe were on the other foot and there was some biological reason for your ? not working, you would expect her to understand.
shorty this lil ? is 25
his yungin is a gf, NOT a spouse
he already said this is his 1st relationship so he feeling his way thru it
I advise him to be himself, if shorty ain't willing to meet him at the same level then she just might not be the one for him
a female with a high sex drive doesn't have to be a hoe LOL.......it's ironic that feminist logic is constantly preaching assertive female sexuality but then at the same time think it's ok for a healthy young man to essentially castrate himself to accomodate a chick that he only be wth six months
if the ? is an issue now, what's gon happen later when they are married and kids deep in a relationship and now he resentful and smashing other chicks on the side...........then u will call him a dirtbag wen he should've just let shorty loose now
shorty u part of the problem telling this dude to live in Disneyland....he already said there ain't no other issues so what more are u asking him to do other than compromise himself just to pay for it later?
I'm not a feminist.
I'm not saying a woman with a high sex drive is a hoe I said y'all are going to have him looking for a hoe. Look for someone with no substance who has their legs open at all times. Y'all are acting like that is the only important thing in a relationship. Him saying that they have no other problems should be a good thing but it's not because she went from ? him everyday to a couple times a week?
the problem you have is you're not understanding women have hormonal changes from time to time and there is no woman who is not going to have a hormonal change at some point in time. If he ups and leaves every woman that doesn't match his sex drive at every point in time of his life he is never going to have a stable relationship. Telling him to have a conversation with this woman is not bad advice.
so if your ? didn't work Would it be okay for your girlfriend or whoever to up and leave you? Because you couldn't satisfy her like you used to? She wouldn't be a hoe right? -
what would the response be?blakfyahking wrote: »flip this ? around......a female comes in the thread and says her man doesn't want sex enough
we all know the double standard of how the response would be
ya'll need to cut the ? and be honest for once in G&S :joy:
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I'm not a feminist.
I'm not saying a woman with a high sex drive is a hoe I said y'all are going to have him looking for a hoe. Look for someone with no substance who has their legs open at all times. Y'all are acting like that is the only important thing in a relationship. Him saying that they have no other problems should be a good thing but it's not because she went from ? him everyday to a couple times a week?
the problem you have is you're not understanding women have hormonal changes from time to time and there is no woman who is not going to have a hormonal change at some point in time. If he ups and leaves every woman that doesn't match his sex drive at every point in time of his life he is never going to have a stable relationship. Telling him to have a conversation with this woman is not bad advice.
so if your ? didn't work Would it be okay for your girlfriend or whoever to up and leave you? Because you couldn't satisfy her like you used to? She wouldn't be a hoe right?
I don't recall anyone in this thread implying or suggesting the bolded......and it's def possible to find a good girl who also just as sexually motivated as he is..............it almost sounds like u telling dude he should just settle which is why I'm telling little dude the "real" instead of the "ideal"
I get all the hormonal changes and all that........but then her response should've been to state it as an issue instead of telling dude he only seems to want sex from her, as if he is the problem
if something is legitimately wrong out of her control then she should be reassuring him she's the one with the issue, not blaming and basically have this ? questioning his sex drive SMH
she got the little ? in here trying to figure out how to change himself when it appears he ain't even done ? wrong..........and u cosigning it
and if I call myself loving a woman unconditionally, then I'd rather see her happy than to instead try to guilt trip her and try to make her feel like something wrong with her just cuz I'm the one with an issue
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blakfyahking wrote: »
I'm not a feminist.
I'm not saying a woman with a high sex drive is a hoe I said y'all are going to have him looking for a hoe. Look for someone with no substance who has their legs open at all times. Y'all are acting like that is the only important thing in a relationship. Him saying that they have no other problems should be a good thing but it's not because she went from ? him everyday to a couple times a week?
the problem you have is you're not understanding women have hormonal changes from time to time and there is no woman who is not going to have a hormonal change at some point in time. If he ups and leaves every woman that doesn't match his sex drive at every point in time of his life he is never going to have a stable relationship. Telling him to have a conversation with this woman is not bad advice.
so if your ? didn't work Would it be okay for your girlfriend or whoever to up and leave you? Because you couldn't satisfy her like you used to? She wouldn't be a hoe right?
I don't recall anyone in this thread implying or suggesting the bolded......and it's def possible to find a good girl who also just as sexually motivated as he is..............it almost sounds like u telling dude he should just settle which is why I'm telling little dude the "real" instead of the "ideal"
I get all the hormonal changes and all that........but then her response should've been to state it as an issue instead of telling dude he only seems to want sex from her, as if he is the problem
if something is legitimately wrong out of her control then she should be reassuring him she's the one with the issue, not blaming and basically have this ? questioning his sex drive SMH
she got the little ? in here trying to figure out how to change himself when it appears he ain't even done ? wrong..........and u cosigning it
and if I call myself loving a woman unconditionally, then I'd rather see her happy than to instead try to guilt trip her and try to make her feel like something wrong with her just cuz I'm the one with an issue
Telling Him how she feels isn't blaming him of anything.
Telling him to have a conversation with her is telling him to settle?
oh you'd be so understanding if someone you have no other problems with Leaves you because your ? doesn't work, something that is out of your control. Don't be lying now Mr "keeping it real". -
Let me get at her. If I hit she's a lying ? .
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Reason: BlackRainACuck
Human beings, viewed as behaving systems, are quite simple.
D Kelly -
Telling Him how she feels isn't blaming him of anything.
Telling him to have a conversation with her is telling him to settle?
oh you'd be so understanding if someone you have no other problems with Leaves you because your ? doesn't work, something that is out of your control. Don't be lying now Mr "keeping it real".
but she ain't say she is the one with the issue....she said he the one who want sex too much SMH
and lol @ the boldedmaybe I'm different cuz I see relationships as being deeper than the typical transactional methods most people are used to settling for
being in a relationship means that u should feel even more free to be who u truly are, cuz if u with someone who really loves and supports u unconditionally then they gon motivate u even more no matter what u do
if u a ? who like 3somes, then ur chick should be just as into 3somes just as much as u are........u like to smoke ? , u and ur main should be in love smoking ? together IMO.......u into some cuckold ? (which it seems like a lot of mofos are into these days haha), then u should be with a chick who enjoys cuckolding u
but by no means should u ever settle.........cuz that just means u doing ? out of fear, instead of doing ? cuz u really want to
too many mofos out here doing all kinds of ? out of fear, hoping to be accepted, hoping to be (transactionally) loved.........how many people u see ? for companionship, ? for food, ? for popularity, hell even ? just to have a roof over their head
meanwhile if I been with a woman for 6mos and for some reason she don't think my ? is up to par, then she is free to leave to get what she want........cuz in 6mos I shouldn't be an emotional hostage like that anyway
but let's say I was into her like that.......if I'm really into her, then I want her to get what truly makes her happy
that is unconditional love to me, which is really what makes relationships endure........because ur love for that person is bigger than ur own selfishness.......and when two people truly feel that way about each other, then it's easier to "compromise" cuz u ain't really compromising.........the ? is way bigger than just being about sex
and t/s don't even seem to be in deep with his yungin like that for mofos to be encouraging him to settle this early in the game IMO
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blakfyahking wrote: »
Telling Him how she feels isn't blaming him of anything.
Telling him to have a conversation with her is telling him to settle?
oh you'd be so understanding if someone you have no other problems with Leaves you because your ? doesn't work, something that is out of your control. Don't be lying now Mr "keeping it real".
but she ain't say she is the one with the issue....she said he the one who want sex too much SMH
and lol @ the boldedmaybe I'm different cuz I see relationships as being deeper than the typical transactional methods most people are used to settling for
being in a relationship means that u should feel even more free to be who u truly are, cuz if u with someone who really loves and supports u unconditionally then they gon motivate u even more no matter what u do
if u a ? who like 3somes, then ur chick should be just as into 3somes just as much as u are........u like to smoke ? , u and ur main should be in love smoking ? together IMO.......u into some cuckold ? (which it seems like a lot of mofos are into these days haha), then u should be with a chick who enjoys cuckolding u
but by no means should u ever settle.........cuz that just means u doing ? out of fear, instead of doing ? cuz u really want to
too many mofos out here doing all kinds of ? out of fear, hoping to be accepted, hoping to be (transactionally) loved.........how many people u see ? for companionship, ? for food, ? for popularity, hell even ? just to have a roof over their head
meanwhile if I been with a woman for 6mos and for some reason she don't think my ? is up to par, then she is free to leave to get what she want........cuz in 6mos I shouldn't be an emotional hostage like that anyway
but let's say I was into her like that.......if I'm really into her, then I want her to get what truly makes her happy
that is unconditional love to me, which is really what makes relationships endure........because ur love for that person is bigger than ur own selfishness.......and when two people truly feel that way about each other, then it's easier to "compromise" cuz u ain't really compromising.........the ? is way bigger than just being about sex
and t/s don't even seem to be in deep with his yungin like that for mofos to be encouraging him to settle this early in the game IMO
I don't understand how you see it a settling though... Sex drive ebbs and flows for everybody, especially when you have other ? going on. I don't see compromising as settling.
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blakfyahking wrote: »She has real hormonal issues going on like stress, medication, Etc. Advising this man to up and leave her is very ? -up. This is something that ebbs and flows and if you're in a real relationship you should understand that. him saying they are able to work through other issues they have means that they have a decent chance of getting through this one because they can communicate. Telling somebody to up and leave their spouse when their spouse Is under stress and might have some birth control that just might need to be tweaked is really bad advice.
Gahdamn y'all gonna have this young man leave a woman he cares about and then go out there looking for some hoe. and then clown him when he gets played.
Sexual compatibility is Paramount of course. I get that. But at the end of the day, that can't be the only thing that gets the relationship by. The most important thing is that you can communicate your needs and she can communicate hers. If she's unwilling to try to get it poppin that's different. I'm sure if the shoe were on the other foot and there was some biological reason for your ? not working, you would expect her to understand.
shorty this lil ? is 25
his yungin is a gf, NOT a spouse
he already said this is his 1st relationship so he feeling his way thru it
I advise him to be himself, if shorty ain't willing to meet him at the same level then she just might not be the one for him
a female with a high sex drive doesn't have to be a hoe LOL.......it's ironic that feminist logic is constantly preaching assertive female sexuality but then at the same time think it's ok for a healthy young man to essentially castrate himself to accomodate a chick that he only been with six months
if the ? is an issue now, what's gon happen later when they are married and kids deep in a relationship and now he resentful and smashing other chicks on the side...........then u will call him a dirtbag when he should've just let shorty loose now
shorty u part of the problem telling this dude to live in Disneyland....he already said there ain't no other issues so what more are u asking him to do other than compromise himself just to pay for it later?
This^^ but ima add some more, you said u was ? 4-7 times a week?? That aint nowhere near ? ? bro, when i lived wit my ex that was weekend ? lol and im no ? i just love sex, aint nothin wrong wit it cause like ppl have said already in here theres plenty of females that have a high sex drive just like you, and at the end of the day if its an important issue wit you, and it sounds like it is, and you really arent happy, then its ok to leave, and find a girl that matches your sex drive, you aint gotta settle,now as far as why she aint ? like yall used too??? It could be any number of reasons said in here, and that includes she could just simply be gettin ? elsewhere, or she just aint feelin u like that anymore for whatever reason? Regardless, do what u gotta do to be happy, dont let it seem like you in the wrong for wanting to ? more than a few times a week, i myself couldnt do it, i love sex, and its an important thing if im dating u,.and i let everyone i talk to in advance that thats how i feel, and if they aint wit it, im totally fine wit that -
? it man
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blakfyahking wrote: »
Telling Him how she feels isn't blaming him of anything.
Telling him to have a conversation with her is telling him to settle?
oh you'd be so understanding if someone you have no other problems with Leaves you because your ? doesn't work, something that is out of your control. Don't be lying now Mr "keeping it real".
but she ain't say she is the one with the issue....she said he the one who want sex too much SMH
and lol @ the boldedmaybe I'm different cuz I see relationships as being deeper than the typical transactional methods most people are used to settling for
being in a relationship means that u should feel even more free to be who u truly are, cuz if u with someone who really loves and supports u unconditionally then they gon motivate u even more no matter what u do
if u a ? who like 3somes, then ur chick should be just as into 3somes just as much as u are........u like to smoke ? , u and ur main should be in love smoking ? together IMO.......u into some cuckold ? (which it seems like a lot of mofos are into these days haha), then u should be with a chick who enjoys cuckolding u
but by no means should u ever settle.........cuz that just means u doing ? out of fear, instead of doing ? cuz u really want to
too many mofos out here doing all kinds of ? out of fear, hoping to be accepted, hoping to be (transactionally) loved.........how many people u see ? for companionship, ? for food, ? for popularity, hell even ? just to have a roof over their head
meanwhile if I been with a woman for 6mos and for some reason she don't think my ? is up to par, then she is free to leave to get what she want........cuz in 6mos I shouldn't be an emotional hostage like that anyway
but let's say I was into her like that.......if I'm really into her, then I want her to get what truly makes her happy
that is unconditional love to me, which is really what makes relationships endure........because ur love for that person is bigger than ur own selfishness.......and when two people truly feel that way about each other, then it's easier to "compromise" cuz u ain't really compromising.........the ? is way bigger than just being about sex
and t/s don't even seem to be in deep with his yungin like that for mofos to be encouraging him to settle this early in the game IMO
I don't understand how you see it a settling though... Sex drive ebbs and flows for everybody, especially when you have other ? going on. I don't see compromising as settling.
it is settling if u doing all this extra work just to still be unsatisfied
I noticed tho u didn't really address that shorty basically called him a thirstbucket instead of just expressing her own personal issues........u gave her the alibi of "ebbs and flows" but never addressed that she basically threw the blame in his lap to fix
how u expect a compromise to work with someone who ain't capable of being truly honest with u?
meanwhile this lil ? damn near bout to get a vasectomy for no reason and u cool with it :joy:
