IC Discussion: Colorism in the black community
Options
Comments
-
What I don't hear talked about as often is the discrimination of darker skinned black women against those of fairer complexion. It's essentially a retaliation of black women against their own race for the perceived advantages afforded to black women of a lighter complexion.
My wife, mother and grandmother-in-law have experienced this to varying degrees.
Define discrimination
Discrimination: the treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing is perceived to belong to rather than on individual merit.
so how do dark skinned women discriminate against light skinned women, by treating them different?
I'd like to start off by saying that I have absolutely nothing against my darkskinned sisters/ brothers & I don't believe all of them are this way.
Basically as a young girl I knew I was black, that's all I knew. It wasn't until middle school that my blackness was questioned. As soon as I got to middle school I was told that I was lightskinned & I was asked what was I mixed with. I never had an answer to that question & didn't really get what was fully going on. That's basically when I started to look at black ppl in a different way. Before I would group black folks together & after those experiences I started to see lightskin, brown skin, dark skin, etc.
When I hung with the black girls/guys in school they would ask why I talked so "white" or why my skin was so light. Whenever I wore my hair natural they would say how come you didn't press your hair it looks pretty that way. They would tell me I couldn't possibly be black because of my appearance. Even mixed kids would look at my me strangely & question whether I was fully black or not. It hurts when your own people tell you to your face that you're not black.
It took a toll on me because I would try to figure out ways to prove that I was black so that I would be able to fit in with the black kids.
That's just my personal experience though.
m
@ayebaebae
this here is a huge issue as well. I've personally dealt with this. Why do you think a lot of black men/woman solely date and marry white? Some might call them weak or a sell out. But, I think it's because they're TIRED and probably embarassed when all they wanted to do is just fit in with there own. Sadly, They want to escape the black community (outside of their own family) -
No at @Peace_79 I would not say that in 2015 light skin women are discriminated against. I just wouldn't use that word. I would say that they can be treated different, and yes in negative ways. Is that fueled by hate? Perhaps, in some instances. But mostly, it is not hate there can be jealousy without hate.
-
@Westie I apologize if you took offense to my characterizing your response as "emotional".
The point I was trying to make is that you were downplaying/ providing a rationale for an issue not being discussed... Because your belief that it doesn't occur as much...
-
I am really in here discussing light-skinned colorism
-
What I don't hear talked about as often is the discrimination of darker skinned black women against those of fairer complexion. It's essentially a retaliation of black women against their own race for the perceived advantages afforded to black women of a lighter complexion.
My wife, mother and grandmother-in-law have experienced this to varying degrees.
Define discrimination
Discrimination: the treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing is perceived to belong to rather than on individual merit.
so how do dark skinned women discriminate against light skinned women, by treating them different?
I'd like to start off by saying that I have absolutely nothing against my darkskinned sisters/ brothers & I don't believe all of them are this way.
Basically as a young girl I knew I was black, that's all I knew. It wasn't until middle school that my blackness was questioned. As soon as I got to middle school I was told that I was lightskinned & I was asked what was I mixed with. I never had an answer to that question & didn't really get what was fully going on. That's basically when I started to look at black ppl in a different way. Before I would group black folks together & after those experiences I started to see lightskin, brown skin, dark skin, etc.
When I hung with the black girls/guys in school they would ask why I talked so "white" or why my skin was so light. Whenever I wore my hair natural they would say how come you didn't press your hair it looks pretty that way. They would tell me I couldn't possibly be black because of my appearance. Even mixed kids would look at my me strangely & question whether I was fully black or not. It hurts when your own people tell you to your face that you're not black.
It took a toll on me because I would try to figure out ways to prove that I was black so that I would be able to fit in with the black kids.
That's just my personal experience though.
I had that you talk like a white girl ? in high school too, and I'm not light skinned. That has nothing to do with it. I'm not saying that you were not affected negatively. The thing with not feeling black enough, it's much different then not feeling pretty enough for a woman you don't think so?
I agree that they are separate issues, but they are connected... And neither of them are ok.
They both involve counter discrimination of blacks on blacks for possessing "white characteristics" -
.What I don't hear talked about as often is the discrimination of darker skinned black women against those of fairer complexion. It's essentially a retaliation of black women against their own race for the perceived advantages afforded to black women of a lighter complexion.
My wife, mother and grandmother-in-law have experienced this to varying degrees.
Define discrimination
Discrimination: the treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing is perceived to belong to rather than on individual merit.
so how do dark skinned women discriminate against light skinned women, by treating them different?
I'd like to start off by saying that I have absolutely nothing against my darkskinned sisters/ brothers & I don't believe all of them are this way.
Basically as a young girl I knew I was black, that's all I knew. It wasn't until middle school that my blackness was questioned. As soon as I got to middle school I was told that I was lightskinned & I was asked what was I mixed with. I never had an answer to that question & didn't really get what was fully going on. That's basically when I started to look at black ppl in a different way. Before I would group black folks together & after those experiences I started to see lightskin, brown skin, dark skin, etc.
When I hung with the black girls/guys in school they would ask why I talked so "white" or why my skin was so light. Whenever I wore my hair natural they would say how come you didn't press your hair it looks pretty that way. They would tell me I couldn't possibly be black because of my appearance. Even mixed kids would look at my me strangely & question whether I was fully black or not. It hurts when your own people tell you to your face that you're not black.
It took a toll on me because I would try to figure out ways to prove that I was black so that I would be able to fit in with the black kids.
That's just my personal experience though.
I had that you talk like a white girl ? in high school too, and I'm not light skinned. That has nothing to do with it. I'm not saying that you were not affected negatively. The thing with not feeling black enough, it's much different then not feeling pretty enough for a woman you don't think so?
It is different, but it's also a part of the big picture. In order to heal altogether we're going to have to be willing to listen to each other's experiences. Whenever a darkskinned woman talks about her experiences I sit & listen. I never say "well your situation wasn't as bad a mine." That's what's happening right now. How can you judge someone else's personal experience & then expect everything to be fine. There's no denying that colorism affected both sides. Downplaying one side is not going to make the other side any better. -
@zzombieAny one talking about how bad white supremacy is and still marrying non-black women is ? delusional.
I don't think so. There are white people who are opposed to white supremacy.How the ? are we going to fight colorism and white supremacy with you further perpetuating the white is more beautiful paradigm with your very actions.
Someone could oppose white supremacy while simultaneously considering white people to be more beautiful (promoting the attitude that white is more beautiful is another thing) but either way it wouldn't follow that someone considers white women to be more beautiful just because they marry one.You don't think all those little black boys and girls are looking at your stupid ass???? even worse the little white girls are looking at you thus feeding their sense of superiority over those little black girls. BUT you ? don't see this and continue to ? over white women but then at the same time want to hate white men. ? IS WRONG WITH YOU
This seems to contradict something you once said in another thread (you want people to cater to the insecurities and self-image of other people, and I would agree that black men are responsible for the psychological well-being of black women and other people in general, even though you think it's someone's own fault for not feeling that they are attractive - you said something like that, if I remember right).
It's true that people are generally expected to date/marry within their own race but is it fundamentally worse that some white women have a sense of superiority over black women because they assume black men, or men generally, prefer them than it is that some black women have a sense of superiority over white women because they assume black men, or men generally, prefer them? Wouldn't you feel badly for an individual white woman who was interested in a black man and was rejected because he wasn't attracted to white women (that wasn't a serious question, you probably wouldn't, just making a point), even if ww/wm are the general standard of beauty in mainstream Western culture? Black women should feel good about their appearance but so should white women. You shouldn't feel superior to someone because you're considered more attractive than them (or for any other reason) regardless of whether or not race is a factor. If it weren't for monogamy/polyandry black women wouldn't have to 'compare' themselves to/compete with ww or anyone else, even if some women still had to deal with meeting societal standards of beauty or rejection etc.
I don't think ? is a choice. If you're hot for someone then you're hot for them and I don't think suppression is 'healthy'.
-
Also @ayebaebae the natural hair stuff affects all black women, it's not just light skinned women.
-
@zzombieAny one talking about how bad white supremacy is and still marrying non-black women is ? delusional.
I don't think so. There are white people who are opposed to white supremacy.How the ? are we going to fight colorism and white supremacy with you further perpetuating the white is more beautiful paradigm with your very actions.
Someone could oppose white supremacy while simultaneously considering white people to be more beautiful (promoting the attitude that white is more beautiful is another thing) but either way it wouldn't follow that someone considers white women to be more beautiful just because they marry one.You don't think all those little black boys and girls are looking at your stupid ass???? even worse the little white girls are looking at you thus feeding their sense of superiority over those little black girls. BUT you ? don't see this and continue to ? over white women but then at the same time want to hate white men. ? IS WRONG WITH YOU
This seems to contradict something you once said in another thread (you want people to cater to the insecurities and self-image of other people, and I would agree that black men are responsible for the psychological well-being of black women and other people in general, even though you think it's someone's own fault for not feeling that they are attractive - you said something like that, if I remember right).
It's true that people are generally expected to date/marry within their own race but is it fundamentally worse that some white women have a sense of superiority over black women because they assume black men, or men generally, prefer them than it is that some black women have a sense of superiority over white women because they assume black men, or men generally, prefer them? Wouldn't you feel badly for an individual white woman who was interested in a black man and was rejected because he wasn't attracted to white women (that wasn't a serious question, you probably wouldn't, just making a point), even if ww/wm are the general standard of beauty in mainstream Western culture? Black women should feel good about their appearance but so should white women. You shouldn't feel superior to someone because you're considered more attractive than them (or for any other reason) regardless of whether or not race is a factor. If it weren't for monogamy/polyandry black women wouldn't have to 'compare' themselves to/compete with ww or anyone else, even if some women still had to deal with meeting societal standards of beauty or rejection etc.
I don't think ? is a choice. If you're hot for someone then you're hot for them and I don't think suppression is 'healthy'.
I white person truly opposed to white supremacy wouldn't marry a black person because they would be cognizant of the racial imbalance of power in the relationship and how it adversely affects the wider black race -
.What I don't hear talked about as often is the discrimination of darker skinned black women against those of fairer complexion. It's essentially a retaliation of black women against their own race for the perceived advantages afforded to black women of a lighter complexion.
My wife, mother and grandmother-in-law have experienced this to varying degrees.
Define discrimination
Discrimination: the treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing is perceived to belong to rather than on individual merit.
so how do dark skinned women discriminate against light skinned women, by treating them different?
I'd like to start off by saying that I have absolutely nothing against my darkskinned sisters/ brothers & I don't believe all of them are this way.
Basically as a young girl I knew I was black, that's all I knew. It wasn't until middle school that my blackness was questioned. As soon as I got to middle school I was told that I was lightskinned & I was asked what was I mixed with. I never had an answer to that question & didn't really get what was fully going on. That's basically when I started to look at black ppl in a different way. Before I would group black folks together & after those experiences I started to see lightskin, brown skin, dark skin, etc.
When I hung with the black girls/guys in school they would ask why I talked so "white" or why my skin was so light. Whenever I wore my hair natural they would say how come you didn't press your hair it looks pretty that way. They would tell me I couldn't possibly be black because of my appearance. Even mixed kids would look at my me strangely & question whether I was fully black or not. It hurts when your own people tell you to your face that you're not black.
It took a toll on me because I would try to figure out ways to prove that I was black so that I would be able to fit in with the black kids.
That's just my personal experience though.
I had that you talk like a white girl ? in high school too, and I'm not light skinned. That has nothing to do with it. I'm not saying that you were not affected negatively. The thing with not feeling black enough, it's much different then not feeling pretty enough for a woman you don't think so?
It is different, but it's also a part of the big picture. In order to heal altogether we're going to have to be willing to listen to each other's experiences. Whenever a darkskinned woman talks about her experiences I sit & listen. I never say "well your situation wasn't as bad a mine." That's what's happening right now. How can you judge someone else's personal experience & then expect everything to be fine. There's no denying that colorism affected both sides. Downplaying one side is not going to make the other side any better.
Actually, in high school I was not looked at as black enough because of the way I spoke. So that is a very separate issue. You can't put being light skinned on that. People asking you whether you were mixed, yeah that's different.
It's just a little harder to empathize with you, if all you were made to feel is that you didn't fit in. People go through that everyday regardless of their complexion.
Also, I'm not saying you were not negatively affected. It sounds like you were.
It's just that a lot of the things you highlighted are very common across the board and really aren't color specific.
-
Hate to use this term but, "at the end of the day". Everyone gets discrimated for something. Even really rich people get view as out of touch. And not having gone through anything cause they're rich and therefore have no problems. Like people would look at an attractive redbone and dismiss any issue she has cause, "how hard could her life be when shes that beautiful".
Thats just human nature, the great thing is. You ladies, and the men that post their views on this subject. Are enlightened to the point of seeing others strife. So its not all bad. Theres you and millions others that can do the same. Leaving those who cant or wont understand others issues, to be seen as closed minded by more and more people. -
Skuurrt_Angle wrote: »Hate to use this term but, "at the end of the day". Everyone gets discrimated for something. Even really rich people get view as out of touch. And not having gone through anything cause they're rich and therefore have no problems. Like people would look at an attractive redbone and dismiss any issue she has cause, "how hard could her life be when shes that beautiful".
Thats just human nature, the great thing is. You ladies, and the men that post their views on this subject. Are enlightened to the point of seeing others strife. So its not all bad. Theres you and millions others that can do the same. Leaving those who cant or wont understand others issues, to be seen as closed minded by more and more people.
If you're not going to take any of this seriously then leave this thread smh. -
I can see how the "talking white" stigma accentuates the colorism issue of being lightskinned tho
-
It's really not that serious among black men but black women take it to the extreme
You really said that!???
And you ? ass ? cosigned it.
Is there a dark butt term for men? Are there songs talking about light skin ? ? Are women in entertainment putting light skin men instead of dark skin men out on Front Street? Give me a ? break.
You basing the entire colorism result in music video depictions? -
It's really not that serious among black men but black women take it to the extreme
You really said that!???
And you ? ass ? cosigned it.
Is there a dark butt term for men? Are there songs talking about light skin ? ? Are women in entertainment putting light skin men instead of dark skin men out on Front Street? Give me a ? break.
You basing the entire colorism result in music video depictions?
Nope -
.What I don't hear talked about as often is the discrimination of darker skinned black women against those of fairer complexion. It's essentially a retaliation of black women against their own race for the perceived advantages afforded to black women of a lighter complexion.
My wife, mother and grandmother-in-law have experienced this to varying degrees.
Define discrimination
Discrimination: the treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing is perceived to belong to rather than on individual merit.
so how do dark skinned women discriminate against light skinned women, by treating them different?
I'd like to start off by saying that I have absolutely nothing against my darkskinned sisters/ brothers & I don't believe all of them are this way.
Basically as a young girl I knew I was black, that's all I knew. It wasn't until middle school that my blackness was questioned. As soon as I got to middle school I was told that I was lightskinned & I was asked what was I mixed with. I never had an answer to that question & didn't really get what was fully going on. That's basically when I started to look at black ppl in a different way. Before I would group black folks together & after those experiences I started to see lightskin, brown skin, dark skin, etc.
When I hung with the black girls/guys in school they would ask why I talked so "white" or why my skin was so light. Whenever I wore my hair natural they would say how come you didn't press your hair it looks pretty that way. They would tell me I couldn't possibly be black because of my appearance. Even mixed kids would look at my me strangely & question whether I was fully black or not. It hurts when your own people tell you to your face that you're not black.
It took a toll on me because I would try to figure out ways to prove that I was black so that I would be able to fit in with the black kids.
That's just my personal experience though.
...The thing with not feeling black enough, it's much different then not feeling pretty enough for a woman you don't think so?
It is different, but it's also a part of the big picture. In order to heal altogether we're going to have to be willing to listen to each other's experiences. Whenever a darkskinned woman talks about her experiences I sit & listen. I never say "well your situation wasn't as bad a mine." That's what's happening right now. How can you judge someone else's personal experience & then expect everything to be fine. There's no denying that colorism affected both sides. Downplaying one side is not going to make the other side any better.
Actually, in high school I was not looked at as black enough because of the way I spoke. So that is a very separate issue. You can't put being light skinned on that. People asking you whether you were mixed, yeah that's different.
What other race of people compares themselves to whites in this way?
The way you talk... You're not black enough
The way you look... You're not black enough
The way you act... You're not black enough
So you believe they are in no way connected?
-
What I don't hear talked about as often is the discrimination of darker skinned black women against those of fairer complexion. It's essentially a retaliation of black women against their own race for the perceived advantages afforded to black women of a lighter complexion.
My wife, mother and grandmother-in-law have experienced this to varying degrees.
Define discrimination
Discrimination: the treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing is perceived to belong to rather than on individual merit.
so how do dark skinned women discriminate against light skinned women, by treating them different?
My grandmother-in-law has been told she is hideous, unfit to procreate, and horrible person and much worse by her own family ... Solely based on the color of her skin
Her older siblings made her cry and sent her into depression ... Solely based on the color of her skin
She was denied employment by black hiring managers because of her fair skin
She sought multiple companions who were the darkest complexion imaginable ... To prevent her children from enduring this discrimination
To this day, my wife has a fraction of the black friends she could ... Because many assumed she thought she was "better than them" ... They called her names and behaved rudely to her because of this
Etc...
In America? Every single older woman in my family passes the brown paper bag test, & I have never heard anything like that. Quite the opposite. Not saying what you're saying is invalid, I've just not been exposed to those experiences...I've seen so much discrimination against dark skinned women though. Everybody has their own experiences....
The thing is, what you are referring to happened two years ago. Does that still happen now here? In your experience that is.
That's why I brought it up. It never gets talked about.
We have been so angry about the discrimination against darker skinned woman in America that we have channeled that hate and forced it on our own race.
Hate begets more hate
you don't think that maybe these incidents aren't talked about because they happen a lot less frequently than the opposite? Or maybe because there's also privilege and being light skinned? I can't see the privilege in being dark skinned in society.
Lol. Hate begets more hate.
Think about what you are saying.
In theory, you are saying it was "okay" ... Or atleast less of an issue... for my grandmother-in-law to be demonized and made to hate herself because of her skin color...
Because by your estimation, darker skinned people have "had it worse".
You realize that your entire justification for the discrimination is fueled by your emotions and your perspective ... Not on the fact that it is morally a wrong thing to do.
Do you see how that is a slippery slope
I am absolutely not saying what your grandmother went through was okay. What I am saying, is that why people don't talk about it more, is there is more privileged in being light skinned.
In many instances and circumstances but not all -
.What I don't hear talked about as often is the discrimination of darker skinned black women against those of fairer complexion. It's essentially a retaliation of black women against their own race for the perceived advantages afforded to black women of a lighter complexion.
My wife, mother and grandmother-in-law have experienced this to varying degrees.
Define discrimination
Discrimination: the treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing is perceived to belong to rather than on individual merit.
so how do dark skinned women discriminate against light skinned women, by treating them different?
I'd like to start off by saying that I have absolutely nothing against my darkskinned sisters/ brothers & I don't believe all of them are this way.
Basically as a young girl I knew I was black, that's all I knew. It wasn't until middle school that my blackness was questioned. As soon as I got to middle school I was told that I was lightskinned & I was asked what was I mixed with. I never had an answer to that question & didn't really get what was fully going on. That's basically when I started to look at black ppl in a different way. Before I would group black folks together & after those experiences I started to see lightskin, brown skin, dark skin, etc.
When I hung with the black girls/guys in school they would ask why I talked so "white" or why my skin was so light. Whenever I wore my hair natural they would say how come you didn't press your hair it looks pretty that way. They would tell me I couldn't possibly be black because of my appearance. Even mixed kids would look at my me strangely & question whether I was fully black or not. It hurts when your own people tell you to your face that you're not black.
It took a toll on me because I would try to figure out ways to prove that I was black so that I would be able to fit in with the black kids.
That's just my personal experience though.
...The thing with not feeling black enough, it's much different then not feeling pretty enough for a woman you don't think so?
It is different, but it's also a part of the big picture. In order to heal altogether we're going to have to be willing to listen to each other's experiences. Whenever a darkskinned woman talks about her experiences I sit & listen. I never say "well your situation wasn't as bad a mine." That's what's happening right now. How can you judge someone else's personal experience & then expect everything to be fine. There's no denying that colorism affected both sides. Downplaying one side is not going to make the other side any better.
Actually, in high school I was not looked at as black enough because of the way I spoke. So that is a very separate issue. You can't put being light skinned on that. People asking you whether you were mixed, yeah that's different.
What other race of people compares themselves to whites in this way?
The way you talk... You're not black enough
The way you look... You're not black enough
The way you act... You're not black enough
So you believe they are in no way connected?
If someone is saying they were treated like that because they were light skinned, & I am saying I was treated that way because of the way I talk and I'm brown skinned, they are separate.
White supremacy is a very big issue in the black community that is 150% true and that does come from the same place. The thing is, when someone that looked at as looking whiter, that's good in our community. When someone "acts" whiter, that's bad, moreso in your school years.
-
Who's doing the discriminating?
-
Jameson_Porcupine wrote: »I can see how the "talking white" stigma accentuates the colorism issue of being lightskinned tho
So basically the cumulative effect of not looking and speaking "black" is what she's speaking on. That makes sense. -
-
.What I don't hear talked about as often is the discrimination of darker skinned black women against those of fairer complexion. It's essentially a retaliation of black women against their own race for the perceived advantages afforded to black women of a lighter complexion.
My wife, mother and grandmother-in-law have experienced this to varying degrees.
Define discrimination
Discrimination: the treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing is perceived to belong to rather than on individual merit.
so how do dark skinned women discriminate against light skinned women, by treating them different?
I'd like to start off by saying that I have absolutely nothing against my darkskinned sisters/ brothers & I don't believe all of them are this way.
Basically as a young girl I knew I was black, that's all I knew. It wasn't until middle school that my blackness was questioned. As soon as I got to middle school I was told that I was lightskinned & I was asked what was I mixed with. I never had an answer to that question & didn't really get what was fully going on. That's basically when I started to look at black ppl in a different way. Before I would group black folks together & after those experiences I started to see lightskin, brown skin, dark skin, etc.
When I hung with the black girls/guys in school they would ask why I talked so "white" or why my skin was so light. Whenever I wore my hair natural they would say how come you didn't press your hair it looks pretty that way. They would tell me I couldn't possibly be black because of my appearance. Even mixed kids would look at my me strangely & question whether I was fully black or not. It hurts when your own people tell you to your face that you're not black.
It took a toll on me because I would try to figure out ways to prove that I was black so that I would be able to fit in with the black kids.
That's just my personal experience though.
...The thing with not feeling black enough, it's much different then not feeling pretty enough for a woman you don't think so?
It is different, but it's also a part of the big picture. In order to heal altogether we're going to have to be willing to listen to each other's experiences. Whenever a darkskinned woman talks about her experiences I sit & listen. I never say "well your situation wasn't as bad a mine." That's what's happening right now. How can you judge someone else's personal experience & then expect everything to be fine. There's no denying that colorism affected both sides. Downplaying one side is not going to make the other side any better.
Actually, in high school I was not looked at as black enough because of the way I spoke. So that is a very separate issue. You can't put being light skinned on that. People asking you whether you were mixed, yeah that's different.
What other race of people compares themselves to whites in this way?
The way you talk... You're not black enough
The way you look... You're not black enough
The way you act... You're not black enough
So you believe they are in no way connected?
If someone is saying they were treated like that because they were light skinned, & I am saying I was treated that way because of the way I talk and I'm brown skinned, they are separate.
White supremacy is a very big issue in the black community that is 150% true and that does come from the same place. The thing is, when someone that looked at as looking whiter, that's good in our community. When someone "acts" whiter, that's bad, moreso in your school years.
No it's not ... Not necessarily.
That's what I am trying to tell you. -
.What I don't hear talked about as often is the discrimination of darker skinned black women against those of fairer complexion. It's essentially a retaliation of black women against their own race for the perceived advantages afforded to black women of a lighter complexion.
My wife, mother and grandmother-in-law have experienced this to varying degrees.
Define discrimination
Discrimination: the treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing is perceived to belong to rather than on individual merit.
so how do dark skinned women discriminate against light skinned women, by treating them different?
I'd like to start off by saying that I have absolutely nothing against my darkskinned sisters/ brothers & I don't believe all of them are this way.
Basically as a young girl I knew I was black, that's all I knew. It wasn't until middle school that my blackness was questioned. As soon as I got to middle school I was told that I was lightskinned & I was asked what was I mixed with. I never had an answer to that question & didn't really get what was fully going on. That's basically when I started to look at black ppl in a different way. Before I would group black folks together & after those experiences I started to see lightskin, brown skin, dark skin, etc.
When I hung with the black girls/guys in school they would ask why I talked so "white" or why my skin was so light. Whenever I wore my hair natural they would say how come you didn't press your hair it looks pretty that way. They would tell me I couldn't possibly be black because of my appearance. Even mixed kids would look at my me strangely & question whether I was fully black or not. It hurts when your own people tell you to your face that you're not black.
It took a toll on me because I would try to figure out ways to prove that I was black so that I would be able to fit in with the black kids.
That's just my personal experience though.
...The thing with not feeling black enough, it's much different then not feeling pretty enough for a woman you don't think so?
It is different, but it's also a part of the big picture. In order to heal altogether we're going to have to be willing to listen to each other's experiences. Whenever a darkskinned woman talks about her experiences I sit & listen. I never say "well your situation wasn't as bad a mine." That's what's happening right now. How can you judge someone else's personal experience & then expect everything to be fine. There's no denying that colorism affected both sides. Downplaying one side is not going to make the other side any better.
Actually, in high school I was not looked at as black enough because of the way I spoke. So that is a very separate issue. You can't put being light skinned on that. People asking you whether you were mixed, yeah that's different.
What other race of people compares themselves to whites in this way?
The way you talk... You're not black enough
The way you look... You're not black enough
The way you act... You're not black enough
So you believe they are in no way connected?
If someone is saying they were treated like that because they were light skinned, & I am saying I was treated that way because of the way I talk and I'm brown skinned, they are separate.
White supremacy is a very big issue in the black community that is 150% true and that does come from the same place. The thing is, when someone that looked at as looking whiter, that's good in our community. When someone "acts" whiter, that's bad, moreso in your school years.
No it's not ... Not necessarily.
That's what I am trying to tell you.
Says who tho?????
-
I've never heard the phrase I don't date light skinned women because light skin is ugly. Never not once. Can't say the same for dark skin, but dark skinned ? are the devil I get it.
-
Light-skinned women being evil is a common stigma
