Hookups you're ashamed of
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Lemme see if i got this right
You got ? off your ass, had a good time
Nailed a ? first night
No STD
No "YOUZ THA PAPPY"
And shes above a 5?
...This is a loss?
Shorty was below a 5....prolly a good 2 or 3. Some chunky white ? I met on the street leavin the club. Shorty was like she got 5 kids, livin in a hotel, and had no job. I took her ass to the hotel, tore the ? up for like 2 and a half minutes, then went through her purse when she wasn't lookin. I told her i was gonna run to my car and I'll be right back and peeled out that ? .
I took my L, but it was a slight W due to my level of trillness. -
most ashamed of??
a few years back, my sister tried to hook me up with this chick from her church... we talked on the phone a few times.. shorty seemed cool..she was about 5 years older than me, had a few kids.. but on the phone she seemed iight at best.. i wasn't ripping i only talked to her like 2 or 3 times on the phone...
so fast forward to one night me and my cousin was coming back from the club, and he had this shorty he was trying to take back to my apartment (my ? was a one room studio...
so i was like ? it, just let me hold ur car.....
so i actually had something else lined up... but i was like ? it, lemme try a shot in the dark, and i called my sisters friend....
she was barely awake.. mind u it's like 3am.. but she was like... yea u can come over.....
so i gets there....
i mean....the only redeeming quality she had was big ass ? ...and even them ? were a bit overdue.....
nothing wsa sexy about her figure...her face game was on the half...no ? ..tall as ? ion the clumbsy tip..? up knees...? up like them ? was beefiing with eachother and kept bumping sholders....shorty teeth game was a bit horse-ish, i mean i was like damn.....
damn to the point where i couldn't even say ? .....
so in my mental mind i'm like....
"u drove over to see this chick.. it's 330 in the morning...ain't ? else poppin....and she never gave u an accurate description of what she really looked like....this chick owe u a nut"
so i just took a deep breath.. a big ass gulp of henny, and pushed up on her....
i beat and bounced....
so the next morning my sistern them all go to old country buffet after chucrch, and my sistercall asking if i was trying to meet them there....
i'm like helllllllll no..
and she goes
"oh i'm asking, cuz i heard u made a visit last night...and she was like u cool and all, but she wanna make sure ur going to stay around for the long run if u wanna chill with her like that... she's in the market for a husband"
"i just start laughing like.....yea.. tell her the market outta stock on that ? " -
yeh I had my handful of Ls....ewwwwl. dont know what the ? I was on. Im just glad I never bumped into em at a local spot while im accompanied by a bad chick or my homeboys..aint nothin embarrassing than having a wilderbeast come to greet u in front of ya folks and u have to explain ya association with them. I usually hit em up with the, "she used to be a co-worker at my old job" or "she was in my class. shared me her notes and helped me pass the class"
but da last beast that i smashed came thru in the late night like around 2,3am. I was drinkin and was in da hunt for some ? and i guess she heard/felt my ? from afar and so she hit me up. i let her come thru and smashed. the sex was aight but when I nutted, I thought the condom popped, or ripped a lil on the bottom or somethin. I freaked the ? out! all the thoughts that were running thru my head like how the ? imma explain this to my fam. I thought I was a gonner but fortunately there were no cuts or holes in the condom. i was ? relieved. I couldn't even stand that ? when I sobered up. i hate the way she talked, the ? she talks about, the way she walked and that morning I realized how crusty this ? feet was. Man I was like,"how the ? I let myself ? that?" Had me paranoid. I was lookin around to make sure none of my neighbors saw what I had comin in and out da house, smh.
I stepped my game up now. I dont smash any chicks that I would be ashamed of to be seen with in public, or better yet, if I can't see u as my baby moms if the unexpected fortune was to happen then i aint smashin. SMH at ? who aciidentally skeeted inside a night owl..I cant afford that L -
smh i once smash'd this one legged shorty......nuff said
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ugh my boys fat cousin....her ? wasnt even good. she had big ? though.
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smh i once smash'd this one legged shorty......nuff said
you should have just ran it's not like she could have chased after you.. -
Smh i was working a B shift one night with this older fat white lady.. i was ? as ? that night, she got a phat ass & i couldn't stop looking at it all shift... so we get to talking about everything's under the sun & i ask her all sorts of sexual ? & I'm thinking to myself maybe i should just get some head at work..
Then she says im making her wet talking about all this sex stuff, my ? been hard all shift so I ask if she likes to play at work. She like yeah. So i take her into the bath bathroom & she get on her knees & start sucking me off.
Her head game was wack & I'm like i wanna ? so i might as well ? this ? i bend her over & ? her from the back i make her ? & i ? .... after that shift when i was home showering i felt so ashamed of myself for ? this late 50ish fat white ? ... -
This ? prayed to the voodoo ? of death to bring back a five year thread just to admit to ? a 50 year old cave devil.
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Damn, how many pages back you went to resurrect this thread ?
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When I was 19 I was stationed in 29 Palms the armpit of California me and the homies use to go to this one crib out in town to drink and play spades. The 40 year old woman who lived there keep pouring me up some Christian Brothers brandy one night and jedi mind tricked me into some ? on the living room floor next to all the "sleeping" homies. Them ? wasn't sleep till this day I would never touch that ? again.
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Silverbacc_LHC47 wrote: »When I was 19 I was stationed in 29 Palms the armpit of California me and the homies use to go to this one crib out in town to drink and play spades. The 40 year old woman who lived there keep pouring me up some Christian Brothers brandy one night and jedi mind tricked me into some ? on the living room floor next to all the "sleeping" homies. Them ? wasn't sleep till this day I would never touch that ? again.
The white boys in my barracks be bringing home some 11 year old looking chicks off POF. Safe to say i walked the ? outta the room before Chris hansen came asking me to take a seat. -
If i can get a fat girl to suck my ? , and I don't have to do anything, not even make out with her, I'm never ashamed of it.
It happens more often than you'd think. Big girls try to suck your soul through your ? so they can keep you forever cause its the only way they will ever keep a man, but all I ever give them is a mouthful of nut lololololol -
i have one..
and ONLY one.. happened when i was in the 12th grade..
thats all i gotta to say about that..
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I ate a girl ? after a night of dancing in the summer and walking around in the rain.
a ? that has been dancing all night in the summer and walking around in the rain smells exactly what you would think a ? that has been dancing all night in the summer and walking in the rain would smell like. -
I ? this ugly chubby broad..brought her over at 1am didn't want know one to see me with her...beat that ? up got head..
Another time I ? a 30 sumthn year old Latina she looked kinda old...body was koo..bitc reeked off cigarette smoke...she brushed her teeth before we fuckdd..n she hadrhis ugly ass lower back tattoo..but ? damn did she have a goat ? arch n was thick
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None. I don't trick my Meat off on Stunts I didn't wanna' ? .
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Was playing wingman for my co-worker. Started drinking. I fuked a big ? . End of story! LOL
Muthafuckin ditto.
Only difference mine was big and mugly. That ? (my coworker) can't say I wasn't a good mofuckin friend. -
Alot of Cool stories bros! Lmao keep them coming...pause.
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Hooked with with a big girl in the elevator. Well, we had to use the freight elevator but still.
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I used to have a thing for virgins.
I once took this guy's virginity...he was so ugly. It was so awkward. He didn't even know how to put on a condom. He drooled all over me. His face was all greasy. He looked like a mexican squidward. -
Man this one time just pops into my head randomly and forces me to reevaluate life decisions it was so bad...me and a few of my ppls decided to hit an after hours last summer after a night of sitting at my homeboys crib smoking blunts. Nigguhs was haunted and just felt like goin out, "no" was not an option so we figured hit the after hours and make some money while we at it.
So we there, having a few drinks smoking blunts n ? , I wasn't even drinking real heavy at the time, I had to cool it with the alcohol for a bit after a few reckless episodes, this skinny, coked out, nasty teeth havin, cigarette in one hand ash down to the filter holding, scallywag walks up to us at the bar, and stands next to me tryna push up her ass on me n ? , now to my defense me and my girl split up like a week before that so I was on a beat a ? up mission, I start tellin her she can come back to the spot with us, she seemed bout it but she had this corny ass dude with her who was like her boyfriend/friend/chaperone, I dunno but he kept ? blocking the play. My ppl lost interest mad quick cause this ? was like a 2 at best, but homegirl told me to leave with her, her friends truck was parked outside and we could figure something out, I was like ? it why not, that's what I did. We go back to the truck, corny chaperone follows us, he hopes in the driver seat me and her get in the back, shorty proceeds to give me head but the whole time I just kept thinking bout her teeth and that the nastiness was touching my ? , she throws a condom over it and We start ? , this whole time chaperone is driving all around downtown, dude just drove like nothing was going on, Im tryna nut quick and hop out this truck cause at this point I'm thinking I'm having my first cuckold experience and its not what I expected it to be, I swear I musta killed the ? or something cause soon as I utted she hopped off and like a second later just folded in half and fell off the back seat, dude in the front was like she's fine, just leave her like that. I got dropped off back at my boys spot I get in the apartment just as one of them is telling a couple others that just stopped by about how I left with this ? that them nigguhs nicknamed cinnamon on account of her brown teeth, to this day motha fuckas will randomly say "cinnamon" and die laughing. -
Man this one time just pops into my head randomly and forces me to reevaluate life decisions it was so bad...me and a few of my ppls decided to hit an after hours last summer after a night of sitting at my homeboys crib smoking blunts. Nigguhs was haunted and just felt like goin out, "no" was not an option so we figured hit the after hours and make some money while we at it.
So we there, having a few drinks smoking blunts n ? , I wasn't even drinking real heavy at the time, I had to cool it with the alcohol for a bit after a few reckless episodes, this skinny, coked out, nasty teeth havin, cigarette in one hand ash down to the filter holding, scallywag walks up to us at the bar, and stands next to me tryna push up her ass on me n ? , now to my defense me and my girl split up like a week before that so I was on a beat a ? up mission, I start tellin her she can come back to the spot with us, she seemed bout it but she had this corny ass dude with her who was like her boyfriend/friend/chaperone, I dunno but he kept ? blocking the play. My ppl lost interest mad quick cause this ? was like a 2 at best, but homegirl told me to leave with her, her friends truck was parked outside and we could figure something out, I was like ? it why not, that's what I did. We go back to the truck, corny chaperone follows us, he hopes in the driver seat me and her get in the back, shorty proceeds to give me head but the whole time I just kept thinking bout her teeth and that the nastiness was touching my ? , she throws a condom over it and We start ? , this whole time chaperone is driving all around downtown, dude just drove like nothing was going on, Im tryna nut quick and hop out this truck cause at this point I'm thinking I'm having my first cuckold experience and its not what I expected it to be, I swear I musta killed the ? or something cause soon as I utted she hopped off and like a second later just folded in half and fell off the back seat, dude in the front was like she's fine, just leave her like that. I got dropped off back at my boys spot I get in the apartment just as one of them is telling a couple others that just stopped by about how I left with this ? that them nigguhs nicknamed cinnamon on account of her brown teeth, to this day motha fuckas will randomly say "cinnamon" and die laughing.
Bruh. YOU BOLD AF. I probably would have assumed them ? was setting me up. Thats why i dont drink or smoke so i can have clear judgement lol. -
silverfoxx wrote: »Man this one time just pops into my head randomly and forces me to reevaluate life decisions it was so bad...me and a few of my ppls decided to hit an after hours last summer after a night of sitting at my homeboys crib smoking blunts. Nigguhs was haunted and just felt like goin out, "no" was not an option so we figured hit the after hours and make some money while we at it.
So we there, having a few drinks smoking blunts n ? , I wasn't even drinking real heavy at the time, I had to cool it with the alcohol for a bit after a few reckless episodes, this skinny, coked out, nasty teeth havin, cigarette in one hand ash down to the filter holding, scallywag walks up to us at the bar, and stands next to me tryna push up her ass on me n ? , now to my defense me and my girl split up like a week before that so I was on a beat a ? up mission, I start tellin her she can come back to the spot with us, she seemed bout it but she had this corny ass dude with her who was like her boyfriend/friend/chaperone, I dunno but he kept ? blocking the play. My ppl lost interest mad quick cause this ? was like a 2 at best, but homegirl told me to leave with her, her friends truck was parked outside and we could figure something out, I was like ? it why not, that's what I did. We go back to the truck, corny chaperone follows us, he hopes in the driver seat me and her get in the back, shorty proceeds to give me head but the whole time I just kept thinking bout her teeth and that the nastiness was touching my ? , she throws a condom over it and We start ? , this whole time chaperone is driving all around downtown, dude just drove like nothing was going on, Im tryna nut quick and hop out this truck cause at this point I'm thinking I'm having my first cuckold experience and its not what I expected it to be, I swear I musta killed the ? or something cause soon as I utted she hopped off and like a second later just folded in half and fell off the back seat, dude in the front was like she's fine, just leave her like that. I got dropped off back at my boys spot I get in the apartment just as one of them is telling a couple others that just stopped by about how I left with this ? that them nigguhs nicknamed cinnamon on account of her brown teeth, to this day motha fuckas will randomly say "cinnamon" and die laughing.
Bruh. YOU BOLD AF. I probably would have assumed them ? was setting me up. Thats why i dont drink or smoke so i can have clear judgement lol.
I feel u G, more times I wouldn't even have gave that ? a second thought but I could already tell the corny dude was way to corny and even somewhat shook to pull a set up... Still though I play that situation back in my head like once a week on some wtf was I thinking type ? , -
Well, I had my first lesbian experience with a super obese ? .
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