scumbag!
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Dont get married before you turn 30. You handle ? wayyy different. I got done in at 23.
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@Black_Samson
Don't think I forgot ? . You still owe us some got damn scumbag stories. Post up bruh. It's time.
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Black_Samson wrote: »i had this chick that was like 7 years older than me when i was 18.
her husband was my barber since i was 13.
She use to loan me her car while she was at work and didn't give a ? about the gas.
i would return that ? with fumes in the tank.
she would let me nut in her, catch it in her jaws... everything...
One day her husband found my number in her purse and called the house.
my pops answered the phone asking for me. next thing i know my pops knocks on the door talmbout "aye you need to quit dating ____, her husband just called threatening to ? you. I'm serious. I told you this was a bad idea. you know he use to cut your hair right? i raised you better than this."
never saw her again.
That's it? This ? got scared off -
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Lmaoooooooo man @BigSleeze gotta be contender for the title right now
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We got time ? lolBlack_Samson wrote: »man i gotta be in a certain mood to do this...only thing i can recollect right now is ? .
i'd tell yall bout the chick that left me on four flats but thats a long story. -
Black_Samson wrote: »i had this chick that was like 7 years older than me when i was 18.
her husband was my barber since i was 13.
She use to loan me her car while she was at work and didn't give a ? about the gas.
i would return that ? with fumes in the tank.
she would let me nut in her, catch it in her jaws... everything...
One day her husband found my number in her purse and called the house.
my pops answered the phone asking for me. next thing i know my pops knocks on the door talmbout "aye you need to quit dating ____, her husband just called threatening to ? you. I'm serious. I told you this was a bad idea. you know he use to cut your hair right? i raised you better than this."
never saw her again.
Wait...hol'up. Your dad knew the whole time, and didn't give a f*** until AFTER the ? called the house?? Lol!
Your pops was an old skool playa back in the day huh? -
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I think I was like 21 at the time, but I had moved to Mesquite and I used to run around my section at night after I got off work. I was running my usual route when I run across this broad walking out of a house in the neighborhood across the street from mine. Old girl was fuckable(mainly she had a fat ass, face was just ok, ? was aight). I stop and chopped it up with her, got the number and kept it moving. We talked for a few weeks and saw each other a few times, but no smashing had occurred, but we hadn't gone on no dates neither just kicking it in the whip type ? .
She call to tell me she moving into her new place in about a week and asks me to help her dad and her brother out moving her ? , she say she gonna make it 'worth my while'. So a week passes and I head over to her apartment in Garland. Her pops and brother were getting the Uhaul and it was just me and her in her place no furniture nothing. I make my move and tell her 'let me gone ahead and get and see how you gonna make it worth my while' long story short I bent her over the counter and gave her backshots, she sucked my ? too but the head was kinda trash, good ? though.
So by this point I aint feel like helping her ass do ? , so I tell her 'I need to run to the gas station to get something real quick.' My plan was to dip on her ass and not come back, but she was like 'Oh let me come with you I need something out the store too' ? so I let her hop in the whip and I'm thinking about how I can get her ass away from me. We pull up to the nearest QT and I browse through my cell phone, and I handed her a dollar and said 'Here get me a black while you in there.' It dawned in my head that that was my opening, when she went into the store to buy everything I pulled out of the QT and burned off on her ass. Never saw her again I don't know how she got home cause she left her cell phone at her crib cause it needed to charge, but she left me some of the saltiest voicemails and text messages you could imagine after that. Oh well doesn't matter still ? . -
Ain't enough popcorn in the world for this ? thread..sheesh
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Knew how the story was gonna end after the 2nd paragraph. Mission was already accomplished. Lol
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I was 18 at the time and I called myself being a so called pool shark(I was alright, but I'm way better now than I was then). So I'm at this bar in Richardson one night kicking it with my white slave who used to be my sharking buddy playing pool. This one sexy chocolate chick approaches us, me I should say and makes some small talk. Now this chick was older than me I'll never forget her(you'll find out why later) her name was Lourdes and she was from the South Bronx, she was 28 but she had been living in Dallas since she was 24. Apparently she had gotten a divorce at 24 and decided to leave NYC to get away from whoever that ? was.
So I get her number after some ? small talk. Call her we chop it up a few times, I finally get to see her again about three weeks later at her crib. Needless to say I first nighted that ass, but the ? and head was fire(warning signs of a crazy ? right there) so I kept her around. We had been ? around casually for about three months(I'm 19 now), and one night she pops the 'So where is this going?' question on me. Man I'm 19 this broad is 28, I aint trying to settle down with nobody let alone some chick who is damn near 30. So I tell her 'we just having fun right, I told you I wasn't looking for nothing serious.' She gone call herself saying 'Oh so you just gonna use me for some ? and run off on me, ? you ? I got something for yo ass.'
Now I got something for yo ass was all I needed to hear I got up and started towards my car. Sure enough I'm walking down the stairs when I hear '? YOU ? !!!' and I hear a 'BOP BOP' and I hear bullets bounce off the walls around me. Man I SPRINTED to my whip at this point and she followed me down the stairs, I try to get my door open but she was already down there, so I duck behind my car I hear three more 'BOP BOP BOP' and one of them mufuckas streaked across the hood of my crown vic, apparently all she had was a ? ass little .380 cause all she had was 5 shots. Sure enough I burnt out of there and never talked to her again, she never came back to that bar neither, but I'm glad I never had to run into that crazy ? again. -
I used to have this asian ? on the team when I was 18-19. Straight freak bruh she would do anything I wanted, literally anything. She ? me and all my brothers, my homeboy his brother and his pops, a grip of my potnas smashed, hell she would of sold ? if I would of told her too. I made her choke on my ? one night literally ? gagged her ? , pushed her head all the way down and took a photo of it.
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The Misadventures of Big Sleeze
Chapter 6
So another one of those boring nights in the town. Out in the streets bendin corners. My guy calls me, lets me know he got a manager gig at one of the clubs in town. Bet it up, I'm in that jam! Dash back to the spot for the quick cleanup and hit a cold spin move on the ex on my way out the door. I get down there and the place is jumping! Short skirts, big tiddies, tall drinks and good music...can't ? beat it. Bout 68 degrees out, perfect night for some fuckery... So I make my way to the bar, and my guy is taking care of drinks and I see the hoes taking notice to the fact I ain't payin for ? . So they of course wanna know what the deal is. There's one thirsty ? talking "daaamn you got it like that?!", automatic disqualification. No time for a ? sack chasing n car hoppin. Mingle a lil bit, and I hit the second floor of the spot...
Well lookie here I see a bridesmaids party, they wanna suck for a buck n all that ? . Got annoying real quick, had to spin on them ? hoes. So I make my way to the patio, spark a black. Phone goes off.." When u coming home?"... The reply, in a bit... Anyway, music is jammin on the patio and I talking to my guy, and this chick comes up and starts grindin on a ? . I play along, my guy slides off, so I'm left there chillin. I get the info, she's visiting from outta town for her girls graduation. Cool, an outta town shooter. So I get her a couple shots and we bout to slide, but then she tells me she's gotta get her girl. I'm like your girl? She's says yeah, the one that's graduating. Cool, I know she probably wasted already so no interference. She come back with this big ol ? ! Big grape ape lookin chick. So im like my car a two seater. Even though it wasn't...but ? it I'm not about that catch n release ? , so we get to the car and she sees its not really a two seater, starts yappin about that, and I tell her I meant I only ride two ppl BC if the police. She's like ooooooh with that silly white girl head nod. So where am I going, the the student apartments. So not only did I half walk with this big bish walk-in next to me, and I got all my ppls clownin me from the street, but this bish wanna ride up front. Got damnit, well my my windows tented but folks still see her get in. My phone is blowing up from ? roastin the ? outta me, and random bishes hearing some ? . So we takes off and the big bish starts sayin she bout to be sick.. Roll down the windows ? ! Nope this broad opens up the door in the middle of the intersection right in front of the ? police and starts hurlin. I'm trying to hold this big bish in the car BC she too ? big for the seatbealt! Pull her back in the car and throw on the cruise control. Luckily we're not too far away. So we pull up, white girl hops out says she's gonna go ? and come right back to help with her friend. 20 minutes pass, and this bish never comes back! So I go ring the buzzer, call her phone...nothing! So I'm like ? it, I gotta get this big bish out the car. I'm trying to lift her out and she's just so damn heavy, I dropped her. Now she half way in the car, half way on the curb. I go back buzz again, still nothing.
So by this time, I'm like ? it..I still got time to get back down to the bar and try to redeem myself. So I see this campus cop on a bike, I flag him down, explain to him that I was dropping these chicks off and her friend never came back down. So he comes over sees she barely coherent, and decides 911 emergency needs to be called BC she might have alcohol poisoning. Next thing I know, an ambulance, a fire truck, more campus police, and city cops all on the scene, all flashing and sirens going off. Looks like a damn murder scene. Now I'm on record being there the whole ? going south! So they get her to come to, and they asked her Bday and she gives them some ? to where shes ? 19 bruh. Immediately, "I don't know her I'm just dropping them off I just met them! So, now ol white girl wanna come down after they had to wake her up, and gives them some story and now she's fine age wise. So after everyone leaves, she's giving me all these apologies and I'm just trying to get outta there. Well I ended up smashin her on a lil twin bed with know sheets and dipped back to the pad. Get home, shower, get in the bed. Whew.. Ducked another one..not quite..
So the next morning, I get up and the ex wants to make a run for a Sunday paper and some coffee. Well I got her blocked in, so I told her I'll just go do it. I get in the car and what's in the back? Both of these ? purses! So I'm like aw ? , now what?! So I figure they gonna get the ol "middle man tax", so I peel em, dip back to the apartment, left both purses hanging on the front door and got the paper n coffee courtesy of them bishes. Of course I took long as ? , but that's what happens when u stop to get fresh coffee and have to go to 3 places to find a paper ;-) now I know why this bish hate me lol..oh and funny enough, I ran into this same bish in passing at my brothers graduation. Shes walking in my direction, im goin in the same doir she just came out of. I recognized her, and I saw her giving me that " don't I know u" look..didn't even break stride lol!!!
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Geechie and Sleeze bout to have ? in the ER reading their stories. Lol
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Wtf done got into you ? tonight
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So she caught me watching law n order while I was in the ? ...."but they just found the body!" wasn't a good enough excuse...but that's another story for another day young pimps...lol
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Me and my potna was out at Club Cirque one night back in the day when that hoe was still open(anyone from Dallas knows this was a MINUTE ago). We sippin on our drinks scoping the scene when I catch these two females in my peripheral. They approach the bar and knowing me back then I would shoot at anything that was decent looking, and these broads were legit fine, both at least 8.5's. I approach them make them smile all that good ? , my potna comes over there follows my lead and after some small talk we get they numbers. They left the club kind of early and we was doing the same because outside of them two wasn't no real winners in there that night.
So I'm sitting in Celeste(my crown vic, lord I miss my vic) and I'm texting these broads, they was TOO EAGER for us to come to they spot and kick it(we had drank and my potna had some loud but it wasn't that crucial, warning sign fellas). We young and dumb though plus I had the strap with me so I was like ? it let'? they spot. These broads stayed in Carrolton, so I had to drive like 25-30 minutes from downtown Dallas to Carrolton to they spot, but when we got there they did not disappoint, had these hoes stripping, sucking, and ? my potna tryna clown saying I was being too paranoid about the whole situation. Man sure enough after we smash we kicking it with em, it might be about 4 or 5 in the morning, next thing we know we in the living room and a key turns the lock. In walks two ? and they come in and see us and we see them and I swear it was like some ? out of a movie everyone was silent mugging each other for what seems like an eternity. Obviously these ? was these hoes boyfriends, knew I wasn't paranoid for no reason I guess they wasn't expecting them back that night.
Now these wasn't no big ? (at least not compared to me, I'm 6'2 and I'm built like a tank they might of been 5'10 tops skinny ? , my potna is a lil ? though so it kind of balances out), but they could take a beating. My potna was closer to them so they start tryna J him, I get up and I pick up the lamp sitting on the table and bust one of em upside the head with it, and this ? just ate that ? like it was breakfast hard headed mufucka must of really loved his ? . Me and my potna had to box these ? all the way from the apartment on the third floor down to my whip and by the time we made it down to my whip I had to go in the glove box and pull out the strap and let a few loose to get them the ? off of us cause they was not tryna let us make it, we driving down the street leaving the area all types of sirens going off. I knew my whip was marked for the night so fortunately for me other potna stayed right up the street with his BM so we went over there for a minute and camped. Glad we made it out that situation cause if I would of gotten rolled I would of caught a few felonies for sure that night with how ? we was riding. Don't trust that eager ? bruh, get you into all types of trouble. -
Cot damn Dallas. This is 2 occasions where yo azzz could've been RIP'd. Lol!
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dallas' 4 eva wrote: »I used to have this asian ? on the team when I was 18-19. Straight freak bruh she would do anything I wanted, literally anything. She ? me and all my brothers, my homeboy his brother and his pops, a grip of my potnas smashed, hell she would of sold ? if I would of told her too. I made her choke on my ? one night literally ? gagged her ? , pushed her head all the way down and took a photo of it.
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someone actually posted pics.. you the realest. and asians are the GOAT.
![[Deleted User]](https://w1.vanillicon.com/v2/15efd8efe08bb34aae25f1808aaf5018.svg)
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